Jesus Hopped the “A” Train at London’s Young Vic: Lots and Lots of Words, but the Meaning Unclear

Honestly? I don’t think I’ve ever smiled so much during a show. Okay, well aside from funnier comedies that make you laugh the whole way through (this season’s “Noises Off” hurt my face, Martin Short’s “Fame Becomes Me” did the same, probably “The Book of Mormon” too). But this was a different kind of constant grinning, the kind that you can’t help but do when you are in the presence of perfection and nothing can bring you down from this floating type of elation. Okay, well aside from the bitches next to you who won’t stop talking until you glare at their male companion until he feels embarrassed on their behalf and then you finally just say shut your mouths or I’ll shut them for you permanently you ungodly pieces of heaving garbage. Okay I didn’t say that but what I am saying is, “She Loves Me” was flawless (well, aside from the actual flaw in the performance I attended, but we will get there) and will live in my heart like a little pink bubble that won’t kill you.

Confession: Although “She Loves Me” is a musical theatre classic from the 1960s, by all- stars Harnick & Bock (also responsible for the sublime music of “Fiddler on the Roof”), and is the source of one of Barbara Cook’s most iconic roles…I didn’t actually know it. I never listened to the original cast album. I didn’t know that the lovely heartfelt showtune “Will He Like Me” was from it, even though I loved that song. Worst of all guys, I mean, what is my favorite movie? Tied for first with “The Princess Bride”? “You’ve Got Mail”, of course, because I’m of sound mind. Well, guess what, “She Loves Me” is of the “You’ve Got Mail”/”Shop Around the Corner” lineage, being also based on the story of “Parfumerie”, the gift that keeps on giving to reinvention. So the fact that I, professional musical theatre obsessor, didn’t know that there was a CLASSIC MUSICAL that was an earlier version of YOU’VE GOT MAIL, well, let’s just say it made me question everything. The only thing I didn’t question was that holy shit, a musical version of “You’ve Got Mail” was going to be the one single [show] in the world that filled [my] heart with joy. (“Well don’t be ridiculous. Have I ever [seen a show] that fit that description? Have you?!”)

So I knew it was going to be good, because of my YGM bias and because the cast was even better than when Broadway forums dream-cast stuff. Man alive, I didn’t know it would be a vegan cream puff of perfection. About that dream cast: Laura Benanti would take the Meg Ryan role, of course, because Laura Benanti is probably the funniest actress there is who is also a sublime soprano. Her Amalia Balash would be edgier than Kathleen Kelly because Laura has the sarcastic deadpan delivery to deadpan all deadpans. Done, amazing, Tony nom guaranteed (and win in any other year). The rest of the cast is where things get interesting. Josh Radnor, the actor behind the much maligned Ted from “How I Met Your Mother” (mostly maligned by me), was initially supposed to play the Tom Hanks role of Georg Novack (spelled like The Sound of Music’s ‘Gay-org’ but just pronounced ‘George’, so why not use the second e huh? Huh?), which is interesting to me because I’ve never heard him sing for real. And also I would just see Ted the whole time and be like UGH YOU SUCK TED STOP WHINING. But luckily, Josh pulled out (so he won’t get preeeeeeeeeeeggggggggggnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnttttt) and Broadway favorite (in just two shows!) Zachary Levi (of “Chuck” fame) stepped in. Listen. Several years ago, Zachary starred in “First Date” on Broadway, which wasn’t a great show but he delighted the whole theatre community, which recognized like, oh Broadway does have the potential to have handsome talented Clooney-style leading men. With Robert Fairchild last year, Steven Pasquale, and now Zachary Levi in his greatest performance yet, we’re in like a golden age of Broadway leading men to match the golden age of actual theatre productions we’re also in. (Can we please get Raul back onstage?)

Levi is even more delightful and enthralling and captivating and joyous than he’s ever been before. He really was perfection. Even better than THanks. His big number, the title song (“she LOOOOVES me!”), was the best moment of the night. There was so much damn joy on that stage, even though he was all by himself, and then he did a cartwheel and it was even more joyous. The song itself is wonderful, with its adorable lyrics that Levi played perfectly (my favorite line is “I’m trembling, what the hell does that mean? I’m freezing. That’s because it’s cold out”. He made it hilarious). I was so surprised at how winning his performance was, even as he was sharing the stage with Benanti and the supporting cast that initially was the reason for drawing me in: Jane Krakowski, Gavin Creel, and Michael McGrath. All my <3s! It’s a relentlessly great cast that was only almost outdone by the jaw-dropping set design. Set in a perfumerie like the original story and not in bookstores, “She Loves Me” tells the story of a group of lovable Hungarian perfumerie clerks in the 1930s, selling their wares while developing relationships with each other, as friends, as lovers, and sometimes as haters. Georg and Amalia initially get on each others nerves, like big time, and they caaaan’t staaaand each other. Little do they know that they have been writing love letters to each other through a Lonely Hearts pen pal kind of thing (the old version of online dating I guess). Their letters start with ‘Dear Friend’, which is where YGM gets it!! loved that! 

As their relationship grows in starkly different ways in the shop and in their letters, Georg and Amalia are buoyed by a glorious supporting cast having their own excitement. Amalia’s Miss Rhode Island here is Ilona Ritter, played by the hilarious Jane Krakowski. As hilarious as Jane gets to be on television, her role here was more gentle and endearing, probably because, while she had lots of great lines, Laura’s Amalia had all the zingers. Ilona begins the show by having a very imprudent dalliance with fellow clerk Kodaly, a suave and unkind man played by the suave and very kind and very talented Gavin Creel. Their big number is rousing fun and features Jane doing full splits and then being pulled across the stage – still in the split. Pretty impressive! However, at my performance, some crazy loud whirring noise was coming out behind the speakers on the right side wall, like from behind the boxes. They didn’t stop the show, and I wish they would have. Sometimes you have to keep the show going, and it’s not the actors’ call usually, but man I really wish they stopped it because it was so loud for the mezzanine that you couldn’t even hear Gavin sing. I missed his whole number, pretty much. Actually now that I think about it I wish I asked for a free ticket to another performance. Actually now I’m really mad they didn’t stop the show. Stupid whoever is in charge of that. I could see members of the orchestra looking towards the sound and being like ‘wtf is that!’ grrrr anger.

​Okay, breathe, let’s breathe, and whoever knows people at Roundabout make sure they get me a free ticket. Moving on. The only strangely downer part in “She Loves Me” comes courtesy of Byron Jenkins’ Dabney Coleman, I’m assuming. As Maraczek, the owner of the perfumerie (named Maraczek’s), Byron is very mean to poor nicest person ever Georg for no good reason, going so far as to fire him at one point. We find out that it was because he suspected Georg of having an affair with his wife, when of course it wasn’t and of course it was the scoundrel employee among them (Kodaly). When Maraczek finds out he was wrong and fired the wrong man, he tries to kill himself. Fortunately we don’t really see it (just some red lights behind closed doors), and fortunately he doesn’t succeed, but damn, that is some jarring, out-of-place drama if I ever saw it. That poor sad multi-millionaire I feel so *sorry* for him. Happily, Mr. Maraczek is (quickly) fine and makes it up to Georg by promising him the store. So that’s quite good.
 
Then we have the very lovable Michael McGrath in the Dave Chappelle role of Georg’s bestie and confidante. Listen. Dave Chappelle in “You’ve Got Mail” is one of the great cinematic performances of the century. “She gon be a real dog” is #1 on all AFI lists of Most Influential and Important Film Quotes of all time. Say it with me Kanye-style: OF ALL TIME! He was amazing. So for anyone to try to top that performance is a real test. Luckily, this being set in 1930s Hungary and Michael McGrath being a 58-year-old white man, he was directed differently than Dave was. McGrath plays a kind-hearted, decent man who wants everyone to be happy and everything to run smoothly. He also sees early on that Georg and Amalia love each other, even though they think they hate each other. McGrath was so perfect in this role, I am very sad to report that I think I saw his last performance, because he left the show for personal reasons. I don’t think anyone really knows why and I hope he is okay.
 
In addition to the perfect cast and the perfect score and direction and everything was the set, perhaps my favorite traditional set design ever. Oh my goodness this set had me jumping up and down in my seat in giddiness metaphorically of course because I would never disturb the people around me in a theatre like that even though everyone else who goes to the theatre seems to have no problem disturbing those around them because we live in an age of entitlement and zero manners. The set was so gorgeous, like a little (but giant) toybox that spun around and opened into endless compartments to form all the different rooms of the shop. It was BIG and BEEYOOTIFUL. Like the architectural version of a French pastry on display in a window.
 
Obviously I have been saving the best for last. Laura Benanti is so wonderful in this. She’s played a lot of supporting characters, and here she gets the chance to really shine as she was meant to. Amalia lets her break out her rarely heard (lately) beautiful soprano voice, hitting high notes and staying up there with that great operatic style that we don’t really get anymore in newer musicals that are all about belting. But she also plays Amalia with a hardness in her that comes out as comedy and is understandable for her character, before she opens herself up to love. Her comic timing is impeccable, and her specific brand of it is different from anything I’ve seen from a musical theatre actress. Some find her sarcasm and cynicism off-putting but, maybe because that’s often my style of comedy, I love it. Amalia’s big famous number, “Vanilla Ice Cream” (what Georg brings her when she’s sick, like when THanks brings Kathleen daisies because they are her favorite flower and she sneezes in the intercom and it’s so funny and then she has her trio of amazing yeses) was indeed beautiful, but my favorite was the extraordinarily silly “Where’s My Shoe?” Some people hate that song because it’s silly, but omg it was so funny and well done. Amalia is trying to get dressed for work and can’t find her shoe. And she jumps around her bed and stuff and it’s just the funniest thing, so well orchestrated.
 
This year was unparalleled in the quality of musical revivals. Two fantastic ones, “Spring Awakening” and “The Color Purple”, reinvented their original stories in meaningful, effective ways. While “She Loves Me” didn’t do anything similarly revolutionary, this revival was instead a wonderfully traditional version of its show, nothing revelatory except how perfectly it was done. It’s special to have such insanely high quality of both kinds of reviving in the same season.
 
AUDIENCE
This is the show where Benanti famously stopped because someone’s phone was ringing. She looked out and said coolly “I’ll wait.” F-ing badass. And because it’s an older traditional show, it does attract the oldies who are typically the worst audience members. Like I said above, the people next to me were f-ing horrible. They weren’t so much old as they were girlfriends excited to be drinking overpriced drinks. Oy. Nothing worse than any other audiences though, really. Side note: Row E in the rearish mezzanine is actually sort of its own front row because there is a break that doesn’t show up on seating charts. So it’s a great seat that happens to be on the cheaper side. Studio 54 (not that one) (is it?) is an enormous cavernous theatre, though, so it all seems far away.
 
STAGE DOOR
Even though only Zachary Levi came out even though it was a Saturday night and I waited for everrrr, it was still the best stage door experience ever. Just as he did for “First Date”, Levi came out, as he does after every show, with his speakers and turned it into a dance party. He is just so full of joy and gratitude and kindness that it’s infectious and everyone has a gay old time. I hope he stays on Broadway forever. Benanti sent out signed Playbills, which she kindly does very often when she doesn’t sign. Both of them are going beyond the call of duty and it’s really nice.

​It’s Theatre Thursday! Today’s show is Antony & Cleopatra, at London’s National Theatre until January 19.
 
Does anyone else always forget that Billy Shakes wrote plays about historical figures that weren’t kings of England? Well, I honestly forgot that Shakespeare wrote a play about Mark Antony and Cleopatra and their weird manipulative love that drove Rome to war and them to their deaths. I was too busy reading the fun ones. But despite my ignorance of this play, and despite the fact that this production of Antony & Cleopatra clocks in at 3 ½ hours with only one intermission (whereas The Inheritance Part 1 ​is (10 minutes) shorter and has two), we had to see the big f-ing thing because it stars RALPH FIENNES! That’s pronounced ‘rafe’, to rhyme with ‘the English paaaaaaaaatient’, which if you are like me you hear Billy Crystal singing every time anyone mentions Ralph Fiennes. Seeing him onstage for hours, let’s just say I sang this Oscar opening number (in my head) a whole heck of a lot. Anyway, with Ralph playing Mark Antony, and with Tony-winner Sophie Okonedo as Cleopatra, this production seemed like a must-see. Turns out, it’s more of a ‘see if you have the time but don’t run or risk injury getting there’ kinda thing. 

 You may think you know all there is to know about Cleopatra because of what, the Liz Taylor movie? Did you know that Julius Caesar was her second husband, and after she died, she had a whoooole thing with Mark Antony, who became ruler of Rome after he and his friends killed Caesar’s assassins? Man alive how OLD were these people? and isn’t it weird for Cleo to be like ‘erma erma you killed the guys who killed my love, so now I love you!’ it’s weird. Anyway we’ll get into the plot. It was worth the trip to see Ralph and Sophie, who are individually great but together they are mmm not so great. If early viewers of the Moulin Rouge! musical are to be believed, Ralph and Sophie are the Shakespeare equivalent of Aaron Tveit and Karen Olivo: Each does a great job, and you can’t think of who you’d replace, but the show would be better if one of them were replaced because together they have zeeeero chemistry. It’s like that. Actually it’s not because I’d replace Ralph as much as I love him. Sophie as Cleopatra is the fireball emoji. I needed a little bit of time to warm up to Sophie’s performance, but after that she was astounding – histrionic and unstable but captivating. Ralph seems miscast as her lover, because Cleopatra and Antony should be fiery, and if they don’t have serious chemistry, what on earth are they risking the future of the republic and of Egypt for? I mean he had more chemistry with Jennifer Lopez in “Maid in Manhattan”. Honestly, I thought at first that it was about their age difference, with Ralph too old to be all lusty with the younger Okonedo, whom I assumed was in her 30s even though she was nominated for an Oscar for Hotel Rwanda and that was like decades ago. Um, she is FIFTY! And he is 56. So they are like the same age. Damn, Sophie, r u magicked? But even though they are IRL about the same age, they didn’t seem it and they just didn’t vibe together. 

Oh by the way Ralph’s real name is Ralph Nathaniel Twisleton-Wykeham-Fiennes.
 
So this play takes place after Julius Caesar is assassinated and his assassins are killed. It would be fun for you to read Billy’s Julius Caesar first and then see this! Remember how much we loved that? (Probably my best review ever.) Mark Antony rules Rome as part of the triumvirate, or three-men-ate, instituted after Caesar’s death, so he is in power alongside Lepidus (who isn’t really important; I think he was tired and was napping) and Octavius. They sometimes call him Octavius, and sometimes Caesar (Julius Caesar was his great-uncle and he is his adopted son and heir, not that they tell you this in the play), but never the most well known of his names: Augustus, as in the first emperor of Rome. Women in the bathroom line thought that it was regular Caesar, not knowing there were several people who used that name. Ugh! Not saying we should cater to idiots but wouldn’t things have been clearer calling him Augustus? I guess it gives away the ending but can you spoil ancient history?
 
Anyway the triumvirate is ruling Rome and taking names but they’re pissed at Mark Antony because he is shirking his duties and living in up in Egypt with his lover Cleopatra, and transforming in his men’s opinions into a ‘strumpet’s fool’. Rude. We meet Cleopatra’s entourage and see how she seems fun but is terrifying too, and we see Antony completely immersed in resort life, wearing loose linen pants and shirts that show too much chest hair. Cleopatra and Antony make funny jokes about how much his wife Fulvia sucks, and it’s so funny, but then news arrives that Fulvia has died, and so they make more jokes about how great that is! Mah wife! She dead! They don’t come across as the most sympathetic of characters (not that anyone thought they would be).
 
Antony is happily drunk and swimming all day in the sun, but Octavius, tired of his nonsense, calls him back to Rome because their thrupledom is threatened by pirates, and not the fun Johnny Depp kind. In an attempt to heal the rift between the two leaders, Octavius’s general Agrippa (played by a woman who spoke in a really annoying way, I’m sorry) suggests that Antony, newly single heyoooo, marry Octavius’s sister Octavia, who is quiet and blonde, so, perfect. I like that they gave Antony literally a hot minute to mourn before marrying this old fart off onto a young lady whose parents were not too creative with the names. But Antony and Octavius shake hands at their amazing negotiation of the female property and all seems to be well. Except Antony’s right hand man Enobarbus (now his parents were creative) notes that this prim blonde lady will not be enough for Antony since he loves the wildly, mm, interesting Cleopatra. Enobarbus proclaims “other women cloy the appetites they feed, but she makes hungry where most she satisfies”, which sounds dirty. Cleopatra hears of the marriage and blames the messenger for the news, which is like exactly what Shakespeare told you NOT to do. That’s Billy’s Rule #1! But everyone assures her that Octavia is unattractive and boring and, most importantly, short, which Sophie’s Cleopatra uses to hilarious effect in the one scene that made me laugh out loud.
 
Antony and Octavius go to one of the pirates on his SUBMARINE (more on that below) and they make a truce, and then they all have a raucous drunken party which is my nightmare to even watch, and people play loud drums and you’re like how many hours of this until the interval’, but then after they leave, Octavius and Lepidus decide to break the truce and wage war against the submarine pirate. Antony is not happy, and it does seem like kind of a dick move. So thus begins the war between Antony and Octavius. Cleopatra ‘helps’ Antony, but then they just flee and leave all his troops to die, which is also a dick move. No one in this play comes off too well.
 
So, A and C are back in Egypt trying to live large while war is coming, and they are sooo toxic together. They may love each other but they also seem to really hate each other and use their love as weapons. It’s not cute for them. The night before a big battle on land, Enobarbus deserts Antony and joins forces with Octavius, for reasons incredibly unclear. This production tried to make it look like he was having a thang with Agrippa, since here she was a woman, but it’s not supported by the text that he would have done it for her so like, why. Antony loses the battle and, like a typical white man burdened with superfragile masculinity, he blames Cleopatra. “This foul Egyptian hath betrayed me!” he shouts, because it’s easier for him/men to condemn women than take responsibility for being shitty and losing battles. He announces he will kill her (still so typical, ya basic), so Cleopatra breaks Shakespeare Rule #2 and decides to fake her own death to make him love her again. Then she’ll pull a Ross at his funeral and come out of the bedroom and be like “I knew you loved me! I’m still alive!” Basic. Of course, Antony hears that she is dead and decides to kill himself, but he’s an asshole so he orders his soldier to do it. The soldier is so upset by this that the soldier decides to kill himself instead, and Antony is like wow what a brave kid I just led to suicide, I should be that brave, oh me, and so he tries to kill himself but it doesn’t take right away. Cleopatra eventually does her famous snake dance in her monument, but not before she kisses one of her ladies in waiting who *dies immediately*, from lesbianism???
 
Needless to say, there’s some real plot going on. Sure most of Shakespeare’s histories are masterpieces, but is this? I hate everyone in it. And it’s weird to see so much liberty taken with facts. And it was extra weird in that regard to see most of the cast in modern garb in a directorial attempt to make the story relevant to today, when it’s freaking about CLEOPATRA. I’m cool with placing older works in different locations and/or eras, but I always find it strange to do that when the characters are based on real historical figures. Like they didn’t have machine guns in the Battle of Actium, guys. But the modern look did allow for the two best parts of this production: Sophie’s costumes and the set design. The rest of the cast’s costumes overall were just fine, so it seemed clear that all the money and creative vision was spent on draping Cleopatra in the most gorgeous clothes onstage this year, and it paid off. Man alive were they amazing! I really wanted to shout WHAT YASSS every time she entered a scene in a new incredible flowing satin gown with built-in cape. She had so many built-in capes! Who is she, David Rose???
 
But the most amazing part of the show was the set. Cleopatra’s palace was shown from the back where they lounged around a gorgeous three-section pool, filled with water that various cast members fell into at times (on purpose!). It looked like a fancy hotel in Morocco or something, beautifully tiled and glittering in the light. I think I actually gasped when that set miraculously fell under the cavernous stage and up from the underground came an enormous submarine. And I mean freaking enormous. Where are they storing these massive sets! I can’t fathom the engineering genius that allows for the rapid transition between these truly magnificent pieces. Cleopatra’s triangular monument was also impressively built, and the lighting along with it really nailed Egypt’s brutal sun. I was less enthused about the various triumvirs offices, made to look like modern government offices with a hint of evil billionaire lairs, but that’s mostly due to my aversion to the modernization of the piece in that regard. It’s weird seeing Octavius Caesar do his government work in a room that looks like it has the buttons for an evil billionaire’s illegal nukes while we watch multiple screens there just for their own sake.
 
So, yeah, the story is not put forth as compellingly as the visuals, sadly, and I found myself wishing the performances and plot could match the incredible magic of the set. But it was great to see Sophie and Ralph live (that’s long-i ‘live’ like in person; they die) and I’m truly obsessed with the set design, so all in all it was worth seeing.
 
INFORMATION
The program is ATROCIOUS. Actors have headshots for a reason! Use them! What kind of program doesn’t have the pictures and names next to each other? I’m so mad, and as I learned from the show, I should blame a woman for this.
 
The National Theatre continues to boggle the mind re its staffing decisions. No ushers or managers or staff of any sort can be found at any level of the theatre, outside the main entrance (what, 8 flights of stairs down?) and outside of bartenders, who are too swamped to deal with non-alcohol related questions. It’s really despicable, that if you have someone recording the show – or someone who needs medical attention – there’s no one to be found. They almost deserve to have their show recorded.