Hadestown at London’s National Theatre: A Riveting Epic of Love, Death...and Capitalismby Randi / November 22, 2018
When I last lived in Philadelphia, I lived in the Rittenhouse Square area, right near the big (only?) Barnes and Noble on the corner of 18th and Walnut. Literally the day after I ended my lease, HipCityVeg, a super cool vegan ‘healthy but fun food’ joint, opened across the street from my old apartment. They had burgers, wraps, fries, shakes, all really fantastic too. (Of course their management is questionable at best but this isn’t a post about them.) So of course, of COURSE, I have to tell you that I used to live on Commercial Street, right outside Spitalfields market, right across the street from As Nature Intended, the organic shoppe. And lo, what has opened up right on that block recently? A super cool vegan ‘healthy but fun food’ joint, what else? Let me know if you’re looking to open up a similar place and I’ll tell you when I move from my current house, since I guess that’s the game the universe has chosen for me. Genesis, this newest addition to London’s vegan, organic, swanky, instagram-friendly restaurant scene, is a great addition to the neighborhood, but it’s a good thing I don’t live as close to it anymore, because it’s way too expensive.
Definitely the best decorated new place I’ve seen in a while, Genesis nails that chic fancy-casual (it’s a thing) vibe that Spitalfields and Shoreditch embrace more and more. Even the food market inside Spitalfields, once just shaky frames that would get taken down every evening, is now mainly composed of permanent counters that give the impression of easy street food but are upscale and expensive. Genesis is all cool, bright, and pink upstairs, with neon lights and fun artwork and signs advertising their choice to cook everything in avocado oil (supposedly healthier, probably more expensive). It feels like it could be an ’80s throwback, but also with ’70s New Mexico decor? It’s cute and fun. OH the only bad thing is – sometimes there is incense burning near the counter where you order, and where some diners will eat. That is like Restaurant 101, to never have strong smells competing with the food smells, especially near (or at!!) seats where it’ll interfere with people’s ability to taste the food. Did you never watch the Top Chef episode where the judges berate the team who puts scented candles on the tables? (One of three episodes I have seen.) Downstairs is dark, crowded, and feels like a late-night joint even earlier in the day (and where decent pictures are impossible). I have now eaten upstairs, downstairs, and via takeaway, so I am equipped to pass my judgment.
The menu, the giant gorgeous menu above, is probably the greatest sounding ever. I can’t remember any place I’ve ever been more excited about after looking at the menu. It is BALLER. Everything sounds amazing. Whoever created it really did a fantastic job. It’s random, with burgers and hot dogs and also laksa? and Indian food? but you get the worldly joyous feel they were going for.
Execution of the food is not as fantastic. It’s fine, don’t get me wrong, and some things are great. But nothing is so incredible that it warrants how expensive it is. Let’s take a look.
Let’s start with the apps and sides. The small plates, if you will, although most things here would fit that description. When I was there with a party of three, we ordered the nachos and the cheese sticks to start. I mean, guys, look at these portions. I could have housed both of these myself and still had room for my main. The bowl for the nachos is what most restaurants would serve a cup of soup in. Not even a bowl of soup! A cup! They were pretty good, but they needed more toppings to make it more ‘nacho’ and less ‘tortilla chips with some sprinkles’. Good, not great; small, not large. The nacho cupasoup bowl is £9.50!!! That is essentially 10 pounds for a handful of chips, a literal tablespoon of guacamole, and some peppers. I could make my own nacho trough for that price, and that’s expecting that I’d have to go through five or so avocados before finding a good one, LONDON.
But that was fine and whatever compared to the cheese sticks. Guys, do you see the cheese sticks? First of all, they were AMAZING. So delicious, so impressive – they found that right texture between solid and creamy that few purveyors of vegan mozzarella et al. cheese sticks have been able to. But that’s the full portion – three. And at least on my computer, the picture is true to actual size. They were about the size of my pinky finger, no longer or wider. And there were JUST THREE. And it cost £5.95! That’s a motherforking £2 PER PINKY. I didn’t realize how expensive they were because I didn’t pay for them but MAN ALIVE. I really liked them too.
The tacos are the best part of Genesis, I think, because even though one taco is £5 and that is ridiculous, that’s also about market rate for vegan tacos in London, at least compared with the queen of all vegan Mexican food, Club Mexicana. So fine. And the tacos here are really good. I’ve tried the smoked chorizo, with tomatillo salsa, potatoes, and pico de gallo; the fried avocado taco, with refried beans, pico de gallo, and sour cream; and the jackfruit hoisin, with jackfruit ‘duck’, hoisin mayo, cucumber and spring onion, and they were all RG. The fried avocado I’d say is my favorite, and then the jackfruit duck. Their duck piece was more solid than jackfruit usually is, which I liked. So, solid taco game, Genesis!
The next up of the small plates, maybe we’ll call them the Mindy St. Claire Medium Plates, if you will, do not fare as well. Nothing is bad, as I said above, but some things aren’t executed as well as others, especially for the price.
I’d been waiting a while to try the kamut mac & cheese, because they can’t do it to go, something about how it’s cooked in its wee pot. So we got it on our third trip, and while it was fine, it was kind of bland. And I love bland food. Also, this little ramekin is tiny. Given the trend so far, I’m sure it’s exactly what you’d expect here for £6.50, but in a regular place for that price I’d expect double the portion.
My most disappointing dish was the kale caesar salad. You know I love salad, like weirdly all the time love it and I even put regular food on top of salad often, so it’s no surprise I ordered this on my first visit. They offer two sizes for their salads, and I got the large. Or so I thought. Does this look like the large? I shudder to imagine what they serve the small size in, Dixie cups?? The perspective in the picture is a little off for comparing, but the salad bowl was about the same size as a taco, and about as deep too. The lettuce and kale were in too-big pieces, making it super awkward to eat. They definitely need to cut the leaves smaller. But at least it allows you to see how small the portion was – I mean you can count the total number of leaves in the bowl. It’s about 10. I can’t really believe that this is actually the large size, so I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt that there was a mistake and this was the small, because for £12, Ima need more than 10 leaves.
The bigger dishes are much more satisfying, both in terms of value and taste. My favorite is the sabich, mainly because you get two. It’s little Israeli pita sandwiches with aubergine, red onion, green tahini, cucumber, tomatoes, and the best little tofu egg scramble. The flavor here was wonderful and I really liked it. And for £7.95 it’s the best value in the whole place. Would recommend!
Please excuse this picture of my takeaway, but it’s the torta Milanesa. And this is another one that’s pretty decent value and a great taste! Two in a row! I really enjoyed this super hearty, flavorful Mexican sandwich. Its base is panko-dipped aubergine slices, which were a little tough to bite without taking the entire slice out of the sandwich, so I’d recommend that they cut them into smaller pieces. But with the lettuce, avocado, chipotle mayo, salsa, onions, tomato, and coconut cheese, it was a great flavor. It says there’s nopal cactus in there too which is awesome but I didn’t really notice it. Regardless, this is a great sandwich, and for £9.95 it’s a lot but decent for this restaurant.
We also tried one of the hot dogs. Honestly, the reason I recommend the hot dogs over the burgers is purely based on size. If you aren’t that hungry, then order a burger. They are tiny. They’re a little bit tall, but they are the circumference of sliders. Literally half the size of a Vurger burger (which is around the corner, and cheaper, just saying). But the hot dogs are well-sized. For about £11, they better be. This sauerkraut dog is the simplest of the hot dog offerings, but is solid. I know I’m criticizing a lot, but look at that plate, and imagine a burger about a 1/3 of the size of the hot dog (at best) all alone on that plate. It doesn’t take a lot to add something, even if it’s just a few pieces of lettuce and onion, on the side so it doesn’t look so lonely and depressing.
Genesis has a banging dessert menu, including my favorite food in the world: soft-serve. I know. It’s really delicious but much richer than the typical cheap soft serve that I love out of those magical machines. I was told that it’s a mix of cashew and coconut, which accounts for the richness, and for the cost, I guess. It’s £3.95 for this little cup, which is okay I guess for London, typical, fine. But then each topping is another POUND. Man, at least make the little sprinkle of chocolate shavings 50p or something. A whole pound for a teaspoon of powder seems extravagant. I would have loved to have tried the soft serve with the chocolate sand (as pictured) and the honeycomb together, as a server recommended, but £6 for a little baby cup would have been too much.
They also use the soft serve for their milkshakes, which are great, I must say. You know I rail on and on about how London can’t do good milkshakes because they are too thin. But Genesis does them pretty great. Although, again, for £7, jeez louise.
So given its expensive location in the gentrified-beyond-recognition area of Spitalfields, and given that it has a decent number of (actually really nice) staff, and given that they use hundo p organic ingredients, I’m sure the prices are warranted to cover costs. It’s just that they could try a little to make it not seem like you’re getting ripped off. It doesn’t cost much in terms of time or effort to throw a basic af side salad on the plate with the sadly small burger, or throw some cheap fries next to the hot dog. And would it really cost them that much more to have another cheese stick or two in that order, considering at the moment it’s three little bits the size of mini gherkins??? I’m trying really hard to give them the benefit of the doubt regarding their price points, but the more I think about it, the more ridiculous it seems. I mean THREE CHEESE STICKS. For SIX POUNDS! That is 2 pounds per little fried mini Gherkin. As someone who has eaten her fair share of overpriced food, I can say with a fair deal of certainty that there’s nothing in a 1.5 inch piece of fried (delicious) goop worth 2 whole freaking pounds.
But if you know what to order (the sabich, the torta) and what to skip (the cheese sticks, the salad! le sigh), then you can at least have great food for an okay value, at least given the area. And that way it doesn’t feel too excessive to get soft-serve too! I feel bad being so critical of this place because I really do like the food and I really really like the staff. And they have nice bathrooms! But most of the dishes are just so g-d overpriced. Given how much great vegan food is in the area, and for so much cheaper, I can’t really justify going here all that regularly. But if you are in London, you give it a try! And tell me I’m wrong! I’d love to be wrong.
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Tal Ronnen’s Crossroads: The Best Fancy Vegan Meal In L.A.
Going into dinner at Crossroads, my first ever meal in Los Angeles, I was wary. I knew of Tal Ronnen, famous celebrity chef behind Oprah’s 21-day vegan challenge and Ellen’s wedding, and I was super psyched to finally eat at his fancy well-known restaurant on Melrose (so I could say “We’re going to Melrose” in Ambular’s voice). But I had heard from several people whose opinions I trust, and none of them agreed on whether the food was disappointing or BRE (best restaurant ever). Either the consistency at Crossroads is just nonexistent or some of my friends have the Sookie-preggers-tastebud-crazytimes, but luckily I guess I went on a good night. No, a great night. A freaking fantastic, fabulous night because this dinner was off the chizzz, people, and despite an absolutely stellar week of eating in L.A. (which will be my next like bajillion posts), Crossroads was the highlight among all highlights.
Now, not everything was perfect. Far from it. The service was nicht so good; we will get to that later. Notably, the lighting was not good for pictures, as you will be able to clearly (or blurrily) see. This is really upsetting because the food is so beautifully plated, but I guess they’re of the old-school belief that food is for eating and not photographing. Amateurs. No it’s not a big deal just a warning so you don’t keep shouting ah my eyes! Also, I was seated so I faced the bar, and there was a semi-famous woman sitting directly in my line of vision and I couldn’t figure out who she was! So that was a bummer! I think some sort of Real Housewife or mob wife or some such person I should probably be glad I can’t name. The group at the table next to us had to have been some sort of band or something. One of the guys was a f-ing slob, wearing like dirty pajamas to this insanely nice restaurant, and he was hairier than if Rob Delaney got turned into a woolly mammoth. Like his hair and his beard were on the table. So gross. And another guy was a dead ringer for Noel Fielding, giant witch’s hat and all. They have to be famouses, right? Or is that just how regulars in L.A. are too?
But the food was epic. So epic that I place Crossroads in the Michelin series I write. No, it doesn’t have a star, but you know what? It was much better than some meals that had even multiple stars attached (and it was more expensive erma p gerd) so I’m tagging it as such. CHANGE APPROVED. Also, Husband and I went with two local friends, so it was one vegan and three omnivores. They were all blown away by every course. Like BUHH LOWN away. I was so happy just for that! Let’s get down to it.
But the food was epic. So epic that I place Crossroads in the Michelin series I write. No, it doesn’t have a star, but you know what? It was much better than some meals that had even multiple stars attached (and it was more expensive erma p gerd) so I’m tagging it as such. CHANGE APPROVED. Also, Husband and I went with two local friends, so it was one vegan and three omnivores. They were all blown away by every course. Like BUHH LOWN away. I was so happy just for that! Let’s get down to it.
Little ball of heaven in the back, some necessary greens on the left
The concept is small plates, tapas style, allegedly coming out as each was ready but we realized that the sequence was actually following the menu order, which made more sense than otherwise. The waitress recommended 4-5 dishes per person, and I think we did 3-4 each (all for sharing) and had trouble finishing the final dishes, so keep that in mind. We started with the Charred Ricotta, served with crostini and apricot thyme glaze. I was never a huge cheese person, like I never cried and pissed and moaned about having to give it up like other prospective vegans do at all times, but this new wave of artisan (meaningless) vegan cheese is extraordinary, and this dish was a prime example of it. I don’t know what it’s made of, but unlike the plain whipped tofu I’ve had at other places who call such an abomination ricotta, this was amazing. I wish I could have this dish delivered to my house every single day, but that would be supes gross after a 12 hour flight. And then customs and stuff? Ugh. I’d still eat it.
Our other small starter was the Watercress and Peach Salad, which was refreshing and must have been pretty good considering I don’t particularly like watercress and I had eaten the peach of my liiife the day before. Oh California produce. The salad was tossed with hazelnuts and a mint vinaigrette, which was happily not minty at all. Strong start.
Our other small starter was the Watercress and Peach Salad, which was refreshing and must have been pretty good considering I don’t particularly like watercress and I had eaten the peach of my liiife the day before. Oh California produce. The salad was tossed with hazelnuts and a mint vinaigrette, which was happily not minty at all. Strong start.
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I can’t get over how blurry these pics are! This salad is total Blursula! Blahhh. But it was so good. And the ricotta oh man. It had like a protective shell and when you broke through it you were rewarded with the best cheese ever. |
Amazingness
Next up was probably my favorite part of the entire dinner, and I think the dish that most impressed by friends. The Artichoke Oysters were served and eaten like oysters, with the little ball of artichoke puree, yellow tomato bearnaise, and kelp caviar over a grilled oyster mushroom and served on a meaty piece of artichoke heart. Oh my goodness, this is the most impressive thing I’ve eaten in a while. Just the sheer creativity of making something like that, and the genius in executing it perfectly, boggles the mind. I’m just obsessed! In the middle was a scoop of seaweed, my favorite thing, but I didn’t realize it until someone else ate it. And I didn’t even care! That’s how good these oysters were. Holy crap. Next time some asshat tries to have an argument about the whole ‘can’t vegans eat oysters they’re plants right?’ just be like why would you eat enlarged bougers when you could eat artichoke oysters?
the rancho carne toros
You’d think maybe after the life-changing events of the ricotta and the oysters, that the 300 subsequent dishes would be slightly disappointing, but you’d be mistaken. Everything was on such a high level, it felt almost criminal to be enjoying it without being Ellen myself. We tried another salad next, the Grilled Romaine, and although it was very difficult to share (being a wedge salad), it was my favorite salad. The grilled lettuce heart was smothered in harissa ranch dressing. I’m not a fan of ranch dressing, never was, even though I went to a college where people put that shit on their pizza. But this ranch dressing in this salad? I’m a convert. Well at least to Crossroads’ ranch. The salad was topped with pickled shallots, heirloom cherry tomatoes, and black olives, all of which nicely cut the heaviness of hot lettuce and ranch dressing. Such a wonderful combination!
Such a good dish for sharing, unless you are eating with me, because I will eat all the damn bread.
Speaking of pizza, the pizza section on the Crossroads menu was really difficult to pass up, but we had a feeling that their fancier-seeming dishes were the heavy-hitters, and we were right. Next we had the basic but delicious Lentil Flatbread, a wonderfully earthy and warm pita-like bread served with little dishes of marinated eggplant, braised banana pepper, and mushroom relish. I honestly couldn’t tell which vegetable was in which pot (I mean by color sure but you know what i mean), but it was all great.
could eat 100
The “Crab Cakes” (their quotes, not mine) were equally good while being a more familiar taste at similarly adventurous vegan restaurants. They were topped with the daintiest amount of tartar sauce and watercress. While the cake itself was really fantastic (I’m guessing hearts of palm? but it doesn’t say in the menu), it needed a lot more of the sauce. I guess we could have asked for some but they’re small bites so you don’t really realize it until after you’ve finished.
We also probably wouldn’t have asked because our initially-fine waitress became the Mona-Lisa-Saperstein WORRRRRRST seriously the worst. At one point, she tried to remove my friend’s wine glass, even though it still had a few sips in in. My friend said she wasn’t done with that yet, and the waitress put it down. But I guess she had been worn down by a terrible audition earlier in the day (probs all actors right?) and so this benign comment instead hit her as criticism of her performance in her day job and at the thought of her being a failure at that too she absolutely shattered, and was a total b word to us the rest of the time. I mean that’s just me guessing but I’m probably right. She rushed us from then on, couldn’t wait to get rid of us so would idle nearby waiting for us to finish a plate so she could quickly snatch it away. Like this was a busy restaurant with lots to do, but she would just watch us, ignoring her other tables, and look perturbed. What a terribleness.
hidden not-really-a-joke was because of ray romano you get it
Luckily, her inability to keep it together did not affect our enjoyment of our meal. No, we’re not done. Next was Grilled Romano Beans, which I’ve never heard of before but everybody likes them right so we ordered them. They were really good, still in their pods and barbecued with balsamic peaches, marcona almonds (those are the fancy almonds right), and black garlic chili vinaigrette. So damn good! That’s a lot of flavors going on but beans are pretty basic on their own so it was all working.
Next was a dish I know all my friends in England are throwing tomatoes at their screens over – the Grilled Fresh Baby Corn. People here just don’t do baby corn, what I can tell you? I can take it or leave it but this dish? I’ll take. I bet it could even turn the naysayers onto baby corn, it was RG. Harissa-spiced, mixed with crispy shallots and corn puree, this dish was so worth ordering, even though when my friend first ordered it I was like “you’re wasting a space on baby corn? why would you waste a space on baby corn?” but it was a good decision.
Our first of the Comforting Classics, as they’re called, was the dish most recommended to me – the Chickpea Cake. It’s a good deal heartier than the smaller plates, and so actually makes this very expensive food seem like a better value. The chickpea patty is served with porcini mushrooms, red spring onions, and sherry demi cream. I don’t know what makes cream ‘demi’ but I really enjoyed the chickpea cake and was glad I followed everyone’s advice. It seems like an entree you’d get at a nice comforting vegan restaurant, or maybe make yourself if you have a lot of time one night. Very solid and delicious.
Onto the last of our Comforting Classics, and the last of our savory dishes (I totally forgot to take pictures of some things in the ruckus of this amazing meal! sorry not sorry! Add like 4-5 other dishes and you’ll get a sense of how much food we ate!). The Scaloppini Milanese was so amazing. It could have easily been a hunk of Gardein or something at a lesser restaurant, but this patty, whatever it was, was incredible, with the perfect texture. The telltale syruppy but thin Milanese sauce took it to the next level, and like everything else here, was wonderful.
On to dessert!!! We were so full that we couldn’t even finish some of the above dishes, but we had to get dessert. I was actually in a place that would give me something other that fruit sorbet and fruit; of course I’m getting dessert! We decided to split two among the four of us, starting with the Peach Upside Down Cake. Proving that their pastry chef is as talented as the head chef, this wonderful cake was warm and full of deep brown sugar. The roasted peaches were just as good as all the other peaches we ate all night and all week (the best peaches in this state!) and complemented by the lemon cornmeal of the cake. The best part was the brown sugar ice cream it was served with, not that it was better than the cake but just because ice cream is my favorite. As such, the dessert I got to choose was the famous Hot Fudge Sundae, which yeah I could make and yeah I could have elsewhere but shush, it was awesome. The vanilla bean ice cream was served on top of a warm brownie (le sigh), mixed with banana fudge, whatever that amazingness is, and topped with hazelnuts and coconut whipped cream. Best sundae ever, yes.
Cake & ice cream! |
Ice cream sundaeee! |
Overall, this was an epic, spectacular meal, definitely one of my favorites ever. It was stupid expensive, but compared to similar restaurants, I think the value was so high that it was well worth it.
Crossroads, Los Angeles, California, US&A
Water speed: Decent. There were a few times when we had to flag people down, but overall it was okay.
Service: What a weird issue! The waitress was a total eggshell plaintiff or something. She just didn’t like us and make it hella obvious. Boo urns.
Bathrooms: I felt like I was in an episode of Gossip Girl when I went to the bathroom. They are small, with two stalls separated by the sink area, and blonde wannabe starlets apparently congregate in the sink area to fix their hair while I try to wash my hands. Their conversation was so hilariously stereotypical of everything L.A. I almost thought it was Improv Everywhere or something.
Food: Incredible! Not one bad note. One of the best meals ever.
Bonus: The atmosphere can’t help but be great, considering the location and the notoriety. Usually more famous people are there than were on my night, but even so, the food is so superb that I didn’t even care that it was apparently the one night of the year that Russell Simmons wasn’t there.
Vegan Guide to Michelin Restaurants: De Librije in Zwolle, Holland
*This post is part of a series in which I eat fancy Michelin-starred meals and then brag about it.
Recently, we took a 45-minute flight to Amsterdam, city of canals and bicycles. But instead of exploring that beautiful city, we took an hour-long train to the tiny town of Zwolle, which is home to adorable little hotels and not much more. Why did we go to this rando Nethertown in the middle of Netherwhere? Because Zwolle (not to be confused with swoll, the cool kids’ new word for…swollen? cool kids are weird) is also home to De Librije, a 3-Michelin star (3***!!!) restaurant and hotel. And because my life is dope and I do dope shit (only time I will quote Yeezy).
Being awarded 3 Michelin stars is the highest achievement a restaurant can get, well besides being an actual financial success where people like to eat. The only other 3-star restaurant I’ve been to is Alinea, which was the greatest meal imaginable on this or any planet. So De Librije had a lot to prove, because Michelin stars take into account not only the food but the service, the presentation, and a host of intangibles. While the experience was great, and the presentation was superb, neither the food nor the service seemed worthy of 3 stars, especially compared with wonderful 1* and 2** places we’ve been. The food was fine, the service was pretty bad, but the presentation was a red 100 emoji.
What do you have to say, little Sunday cartoons? Are you for trading?
Before we get started with the food, I have to warn you that I don’t have full knowledge of what all the dishes in these pictures contained. Reasons: 1) The waiters weren’t great at speaking English and we were not great at adding lots of vowels to our words to fake being Dutch. 2) Usually diners are given copies of their menus at the end of their meal, but we were given these little cards with cartoons that were indecipherable. When we emailed the restaurant, asking for a more comprehensible menu, they very kindly emailed back a list of what these cards said. Bahaha. One just says “land & sea”. That’s all we got for an entire course. So funny. So unhelpful. Also, the cards for me (I was the only vegan), as well as the emailed menu, had a lot of dairy products listed. When I asked the restaurant in that same email what was up with that, they assured me that the list was a mistake and that all my dishes were of course vegan. While I of course hope that a restaurant of this caliber would know what vegan means, I’m still the tiniest bit skeptical now; wouldn’t you be?
De Librije dining room
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But anyway, let’s look at pretty pictures of food! Or, wait, this is me – I guess I mean pictures of pretty food! As is expected at places like this, we were given several off-menu plates before the actual courses began. Here, we had a crispy mushroom puff with regular mushroom, greenery, and some kind of cream that I hope wasn’t cream. It was a really good first bite! It’s on a bed of fried bits. No, not joking, like fried bits like when you fry stuff and all the bits are left in the pan? I don’t know man. I ate them. I wasn’t supposed to.
Next, we had what I’m going to guess were lentil crackers with dilly cream (please don’t say crema unless the rest of your words are Italian or Spanish too, such a weird thing to do. Also don’t say ‘with au jus’) and this is one of the things I am iffy about because there are four, which means we all ate the same thing, which seems wrong. Husband seems to recall that the waiter pointed out which one was for me, maybe the one without the peanut that’s not a peanut? I’m not sure but I hope he is right!
Next was a pile of rocks with seaweed hidden all around them! There was also a very good beet chip with assorted unknown sauces and vegetable pieces, but the seaweed was really the main draw for me. I don’t think we were supposed to eat it, but I like to break rules. I’m a rule breaker. I also ate all the seaweed from the others’ plates. They were like what is wrong with this person. Seaweed is really good.
After the plate of rocks came a bowl of baby onions. Cipollini oh nee ons! Who was that guy on that show that said that beautifully? I forget. Anyway, this was like a little birds nest of shaved onions, carrots, beets maybe, all fried together with the tiniest greens on top. Very nice! It came with a banana chip – I got several of these, I’m not sure if they ran out of ideas, really liked this particular idea, or just gave me two of the same dish, but I won’t complain.
Atop another bed of bits I probably wasn’t supposed to eat but really liked, the banana chips were bent into a cool shape with greens and crunchy vegetables and something like baba ganoush in the middle. It probably wasn’t baba ganoush but I’m just saying it was something like it. Hollandaise version. How pretty does it look though? They were experts at presentation here; everything is beautiful.
Next was the funniest part of the meal. This waiter comes over and goes, “I’d like to prepare the next dish on your hands.” We’re like what. So we all warily put our hands out and got crap squeezed on it. This is the course I question the most, because we all got the same green cream squeezed on our hands, and the others’ menu says this was some kind of mayonnaise, which is the grossest foodstuff in the world. Boo urns. Aside from that, it was a cute concept that they nicely gave us wet towels for cleaning after, but still kinda whatever.
Look I got another banana chip dish! It’s a lot better than other banana chips I’ve had. I’ve never really been a fan of dried or chipified fruit but if you’re gonna have one, have it here. I think this one was on a bed of nuts, so I ate a lot of that too. The caviar is a garnish!
Oh then we got four rolls with certain kinds of butter they were really excited about (I got olive oil, thank you for remembering) and they were pretty decent rolls. But then we got entire little loaves of bread, seen at right, which we all way too quickly devoured, so quickly that the staff assumed we didn’t get the bread, so they swiftly brought out another, and then another. By the third loaf of bread, we figured that they all must have been laughing at us in the kitchen, like ‘look at these English speaking fools eating their weight in bread har har har!” so what who cares. Good bread.
Next, this simple but delicious bowl of Brussels sprouts (or as my phone likes to call them, Brussels sports) with microgreens and a great, mild sauce with a tiny bit of lemongrass, I think, was a lovely counterpoint to the four loaves of bread I had just eaten. It wasn’t spectacular, but it tasted good.
One of my favorites was this double-decker cabbage bowl, which had whiskers shooting out the top, beetroot in the middle, and some pomegranate seeds I think. The bottom of the bowl had a delicious puree and it was all very nice. The white stuff, I fear is creme fraiche because that’s what my ‘incorrect’ menu says, and I’m not sure what else it could be, but I’m hoping they had like some soy or cashew creams in the back maybe?
Ah, some deliciously salty greenery was up next. This was a very miso-like sauce with weeds growing out of it and I loved it. Nuts or beans on the bottom? This is getting kind of out of hand. We asked a few times what was happening on our plates but usually the person whose attention we managed to grab (more on that later) wouldn’t know or didn’t really speak English or maybe just pretended not to since we were the youngest patrons and they were probably offended by our presence?
Even more delicious were these tulip bulbs with black garlic puree and barbecued celeriac. Or at least that’s the menu item I’m guessing this is. No I really remember actually, I was eating this and it was soo good and I said, oh so this is what black garlic is. I don’t know if I’ve ever had it before, but I love it. It really is strikingly different from regular garlic. That puree is the stuff dreams are made of. This was probably the best savory dish.
This was great too! It was a cauliflower heart, heavy on the flower part I guess because the shape was much more beautiful than the regular old caulisflower one usually finds, topped with madras curry and currants. All the c words. Well not all. This was really good and I especially liked the fresh cucumber pieces that helped to cut the warmth of the curry. Have we noticed though, that almost every fancy restaurant that isn’t vegan will give me a cauliflower course?
The following course was very dessert-y, but it wasn’t at the dessert stage yet. I remember being like phew, we’re done with the savories, but then look what comes after this! Anyway, this was blackberry ice with ‘water mint’ and what looks like a micro-watermelon but I have no idea what it was, some kind of melon I guess. Very enjoyable.
See, next was another savory dish! My menu says this is ‘first milk chicory’ with spices but I highly doubt that. It was like a rice soup with shaved greens and spring onions. I really like soup so I really enjoyed this. That white blog I think was citrus ice. Wait that can’t be right. Unless it is. This place did play with what was dessert and what was dinner, so whatever, maybe it was both, I don’t know, it was good.
|
clipped wings I was a broken thing 
had a voice had a voice but I could not sing 
you would wind me down 
I struggled on the ground 
so lost the line had been crossed 
had a voice had a voice but I could not talk 
you held me down 
I struggle to fly now 
but there’s a scream inside that we all try to hide 
we hold on so tight 
we cannot deny eats us alive 
oh it eats us alive 
yes there’s a scream inside that we all try to hide 
we hold on so tight but I don’t wanna die no 
I don’t wanna die, I don’t wanna die, yeahhh |
and I don’t caaare if I sing off key
Before the rest of the desserts (or before the start of the desserts, who knows really) came out, the waiters asked us if we wanted tea or coffee. Listen up, people. If you are ever in a restaurant like this, with a seemingly never-ending tasting menu, you ALWAYS, ALWAYS order tea or coffee if they ask. Why? Because it sort of unlocks another level in the meal, as if you were in a culinary video game where you have to collect all these hidden light-up coins as points. When they bring your tea or coffee, they without fail bring other dishes that you wouldn’t have gotten otherwise. That might seem unfair to those of you who don’t drink tea or coffee, but think of how much better your teeth are. But now you know anyway to always say yes to it. We’ve gotten some awesome secret-tea-round desserts in the past, but this was probably my favorite one: The tea/coffee was ITSELF the secret dessert dish. Look at my mint tea up there! It was a play on mint tea, with fresh, light, delicious sorbet on an ice pack with a sugared mint leaf and something like a brown sugar fan on the side. It was on an ice pack full of what looked like mint tea, actually, and at one point I thought I was supposed to cut the pack with my knife and somehow drink the contents. It’s good that I don’t follow through on everything I think. The coffee was even more fun – the cappucino was cappucino ice cream with chocolate accoutrement and whipped cream and it all looked absolutely awesome. I guess the only downside is if you actually wanted plain old hot coffee or tea but I think they brought them later. Who remembers in the food haze.
I find myself in my melodies |
I sing for love, I sing for me |
The cutest part of the dinner was this little chocolate-topped toadstool looking thing. I mean speaking of video games, doesn’t it remind you of something out of one? Maybe Toadstool, could be. Anyway, here they brought me my own plate of the dark chocolates they said were vegan, and they were great. I don’t think I got all the flavors the others got, but still, I’m at a restaurant like this that isn’t Alinea and they have chocolate for me? Happy dance.
Oh yes, that is on yet another ice pack. They love using their ice packs instead of plates here. Pretty smart for ice cream though, I kind of love it.
The last part of this epic meal I wish came second to last. The chocolates would have been a lovely and appropriate ending. It just seems like a proper way to say goodbye, right? Chocolate is the right way to say anything! But I had something else coming – this curry sorbet. Yes, it’s curry flavored ice cream. Oh my goodness. It tasted pretty good, and 100 points for creativity and all, but still, it is curry ice cream. The fruit bits were nice. I liked very much that all my desserts weren’t repeated plates of fruit, as happens so frequently. I’m glad I got to try something so creative and unique but still, curry ice cream.
I shout it out like a bird set free
So, overall, it was a lovely dinner, visually. It had the best presentation and used the coolest dishes, in fact. The food had some wonderful points and was overall solid. However, it did not seem 3 Michelin stars-worthy. Normally I would attribute this to the vegan menu, to their being unused to accommodating vegans to their menu, but the three people I was with (who had their standard menu) agreed that it was not spectacular. Good, but not one of the best meals ever, which it should have been. The thing that stuck out the most, however, was how poor the service was. I always run out of water quickly, and although at places like this I expect attention to be paid, I still give a lot of leeway. But when everyone at my table was out of water, out of all drinks, and no one paid attention to us for a half hour or so? That’s not good. Throughout the night, I asked whoever I could grab for this or that (usually for water), and the person would always say, “oh okay I will grab your waiter” or sometimes “I will be right back with that.” They never did and never were. I really couldn’t believe that this was happening in such a place! It shouldn’t be! What were the stars based on? Oy. Still, I’m so glad we went. It was a beautiful place and a pretty special experience. We also stayed in their hotel and had an epic breakfast the next morning, which I will talk about next time.
DE LIBRIJE, ZWOLLE, NETHERLANDS
Water speed: See above. It was actually atrocious, to be honest. Embarrassing for a restaurant of this caliber, and inexcusable. SHAME! SHAME!
Service: Okay, shaky okay. They were nice enough when we could get them to pay attention to us, if uninformed about what the crap we were eating.
Bathrooms: The bathrooms were fine, modern, and clean, but the best part? Black toilet paper! So weird! I’ve never seen that before! I’m sharing a picture of it. Yes I took pictures in the toilet.
Food: Overall good, with some standouts. Some creative choices were weird, but I’d rather that then boring safe stuff, I think. Still, not 3 stars.
Bonus: Beautiful space in a lovely hotel. Check back tomorrow to see the rooms!
Water speed: See above. It was actually atrocious, to be honest. Embarrassing for a restaurant of this caliber, and inexcusable. SHAME! SHAME!
Service: Okay, shaky okay. They were nice enough when we could get them to pay attention to us, if uninformed about what the crap we were eating.
Bathrooms: The bathrooms were fine, modern, and clean, but the best part? Black toilet paper! So weird! I’ve never seen that before! I’m sharing a picture of it. Yes I took pictures in the toilet.
Food: Overall good, with some standouts. Some creative choices were weird, but I’d rather that then boring safe stuff, I think. Still, not 3 stars.
Bonus: Beautiful space in a lovely hotel. Check back tomorrow to see the rooms!
