Vegan Michelin Series: Il Gallo d’Oro in Funchal, Madeira

     First, we’ll make Ross’s potatoes, with lumps. Get about 3-4 pounds of potatoes. I really like cooking with a bag of mixed colors, it’s so cheerful! Boil the potatoes until soft, then drain. Add half of those potatoes back into the pot, and add salt, pepper, olive oil or butter, a dash of unsweetened plain almond milk, and mash! Careful – do not overmash, because we need to keep some lumps in there! 

POTATOES WITH PEAS & ONIONS – PHOEBE

     Next, chop up an onion and saute it over medium heat in a bit of olive oil in a saucepan. You know how do to this! I believe in you! After about 5 minutes, add in about 1/2C frozen peas, and cook for about 5 more minutes. 
     Then, in a new pot (or the pot from Ross’s potatoes, if you move them to a bowl), add the remaining 1.5-2 lbs. of potatoes, add your salt, pepper, olive oil or butter, dash of milk. Get your immersion blender or hand-blender out now, because we are going to whip these babies! Once they are really well blended and whipped, add the onions and peas and mix through with a wooden spoon. 
      

          TOTS – JOEY’S

I’m still really beat from my weekend, and from my full week now of being sick, so we’re going to use frozen tots instead of making them from scratch. I bet Trader Joe’s fantastic frozen (and vegan-marked) tots would still trump anything I tried from scratch. They cook really well, for about 20 minutes in a 400° oven. I let them cook an extra 10 minutes because crispy Tots are the work of heaven.

• 8 oz. vegan cream cheese
• 8 oz. vegan butter (I know)
• 2C flour
• 1/2t salt
• 1/2C sugar
• 1t vanilla extract

For the FILLING: 

• 10 oz. semi-sweet chocolate
• 1/4C vegan butter
• 2t cinnamon 

DIRECTIONS:

1. Mix your dry dough ingredients together in a mixing bowl.
2. Drop dollops of the cream cheese and butter into the dry mixture.
3. Cut the mix together with a pastry cutter. (You can also pulse it all in a food processor, but yikes more shite to clean up.)
4. While you are using the pastry cutter, drip your vanilla across the bowl.
5. The mixture will look somewhat pebbly, but much more moist (sorry) than when making pie crust. When you are done cutting in the fat, the dough should easily come into a moist (sorry!) ball with your hands. 
6. Knead several times. 
7. Break the dough into 2 balls, flatten into disks, and wrap in plastic wrap. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours.

While the dough is in the fridge: 
For the filling: 

1. Melt the chocolate and butter together over low heat.
2. Once it is nearly all melted, turn off heat, stir in the cinnamon, and continue stirring slowly until all the chocolate is melted.
3. Cover a big baking sheet with parchment or wax paper.
4. Pour the chocolate over the paper and spread into as thin a layer as possible. 
5. Refrigerate for 2 hours or until firm.

1. Take the dough disks out of the fridge and let thaw for about 45 minutes. 
2. Preheat the oven to 350°.
3. Roll out each disk to about 1/4 inch thickness, rolling it not into a square but into a rectangle, about 2x as long as it is wide.  
4. Break the sheet of chocolate in half and place directly on top of the rolled-out dough. Break it into whatever pieces and shapes necessary to cover the dough. 
5. Roll it up from the long side over, so you are making an extra long log (not a super-thick one, as you’d make if you roll the wrong way). 
6. Bake for 30 minutes, until the crust looks golden. 
7. Remove from the oven, and let cool for about 30 minutes before cutting.
8. Cut into pieces about an inch thick. 
9. Enjoy !