Twelfth Night at the Young Vic: Shakespeare Gets the Modern Musical Treatmentby Randi / November 8, 2018
During our stay in Funchal, Madeira, the beautiful Portuguese island, we had a fancy dinner one night at the island’s most celebrated restaurant – Il Gallo d’Oro. It has been awarded two Michelin stars and they told me they could arrange for a vegan tasting menu, so we went for it. Located in The Cliff Bay resort hotel (one of the three PortoBay properties), Il Gallo d’Oro is not only considered the best restaurant on Madeira but it’s also awarded that title for all of Portugal sometimes. So while I knew the food would be great, my vegan expectations were still tempered because these fancy restaurants sometimes just don’t have the experience or knowledge for creating vegan menus that are at the same level as the regular ones. As usual I was right. The food was super lovely and delicious, and I’ll probably be describing each component as ‘lovely’ because that’s really all there was to it. But it was missing that expertise that a veg chef could provide. And while dining here is a nice event for a special occasion, it’s way too expensive for what you get.
The Cliff Bay hotel was decorated for Christmas (it was almost that time) and it felt cozy, even though it’s super weird for me still to reconcile that Christmas can happen in warm or even tropical locales. But I was glad we had chosen to stay at the Porto Mare as this hotel seemed a little less…fun than ours. The crowd was all older and we were clearly the youngest people dining at the Golden Cock (what it means) that night.
After we were seated in the dim, modern-chic dining room, a waiter asked if we would like champagne. He was already holding it, so husbo said sure why not. I asked for a non-alcoholic option and they brought me a tall pink drink that wasn’t too sweet, so that’s nice. It was topped like the makers had just watched ‘Forgetting Sarah Marshall’ and didn’t realize that Jason Segel was making fun of how much unnecessary garnish bartenders put in drinks and instead they were like ‘this seems smart.’ Mine had a wedge of pineapple, cucumbers, a cherry, and twirly herbs dangling from the whole shibang. I would have eaten all of it too but I was trying to behave properly.
We found out at the end that they charged 18 euro for the champagne, which was presented as if it were a gift or already included with the extravagant price tag, so that’s kind of/super shirty. You don’t want to go to a supes fance place like this and feel like they’re overcharging you and nickel and diming you, and 18 euros is more than a dime.
It is super pretty though right?
As usual, when they asked for our water preferences I said still and husbo said sparkling because that’s how we roll. They brought us fun bourbon-bottle-looking-mufas of our waters. We found out later that they charged 5 euro for water. I mean. Guys. Include water in your ticket price! This is an unacceptable charge in my book at any restaurant or cafe or place in the universe, let alone a two-michey.
Those are my big complaints, though, and the rest of it is pretty positive. Like I said, the food, while not as innovative as I’d like, was elegant and delicious. And they brought me olive oil in a dish shaped like the island.
A dish of olive oil means I get bread!
what a motley crew
My first course was a little salad of fennel, baby corn, super super thinly sliced tomato, and cherries. I know, literally the most random assortment of ingredients you could throw together, but they somehow complemented each other. It was simple and refined.
How pretty is this! Doesn’t it look like little egg tarts or something? It’s little seed cuplings with a piece of yellow tomato. At least I think so. I’m having trouble remembering but I remember liking it and more importantly IT’S SO PRETTY.
Now this bitch I know! Ugh this was so good. One of the best things about Micheliny restaurant tasting menus is that they ALWAYS throw black truffles at me. For regular diners, these fancy restaurants try to make it worth the price tag by serving expensive meats and rare cheeses and I don’t know hand-churned butter? Shit like that, to make you feel better about the cost. But they can’t give me expensive meats and there are just not expensive vegetables they can throw at me, so they try to make my menu fancy by throwing truffles at me. It was weird to have a slice of raw truffle instead of using it in an oil, a cream, or a paste, as I’ve had in the past, but mushed into this cozy and comforting little stew, it was quite delightful. It was exactly the kind of bean, grain, and veg stew I’d make at home for a winter time dinner, but elevated with that truffle. And the little flower. I never eat flowers at home.
and so we meet again
So, as you can see, the next dish was kind of similar to the last. And by similar I mean the same. It seems the restaurant figured out a few good vegan dishes, but since the tasting menu requires a certain amount of dishes, they just repeated some? I mean it was good, and heartier than the usual tasting menu offerings, so I wasn’t complaining. But it showed a lack of planning for me, or a lack of care.
edible silver
And then we were already onto dessert! Here was a little bowlful of jelly (not in a Cosby voice! We don’t do that anymore!) with hazelnuts, and one hazelnut was coated in edible silver because of the aforementioned attempt to make my costs seem higher. My absolute favorite part of the entire experience was that one of our waitresses, my favorite one, pronounced it ‘wizelnuts’ in her little accent and it was THE BEST. Hazelnuts played a big role in several of my dishes and she kept talking about it and saying ‘wizelnuts’ and I forking loved it. Always say wizelnuts.
My second dessert was great. I had a beautiful little vanilla pudding, or more like a flan I guess because it stands as a solid structure. Is that what separates pudding from flan? I have no idea. Anyway it was delicious, and it was a very special treat to not get sorbet or plain fruit. As you can say, they went a little overboard with the gold leaf, trying to up my costs again I guess but like, for no reason at all! It makes me laugh. Like plain bits of gold leaf do not taste good, and having so much of it doesn’t magically make me think ‘oh this was a well priced meal after all’! Nonetheless, it was a better than average dessert.
So overall, it was a very nice meal, but it would have been a nice meal for a regular restaurant, not necessarily one with two Michelin stars. Each dish was great, but not worth the money. Unlike most of the Michelin restaurants we’ve been to, they didn’t give us a souvenir menu at the end, but hopefully my memories are correct. If they are, I’m confident in saying that Il Gallo d’Oro can provide a lovely dinner for a special occasion while on holiday, but for the price it’s a better choice for the white-haired folk vacationing on Madeira who aren’t vegetarian.
IL GALLO D’ORO, MADEIRA, PORTUGAL, EUROPE
Water speed: A little slow.
Service: Very fun mostly because of the wizelnuts 🙂
Bathrooms: The bathrooms were outside the restaurant and in the hotel lobby, so since the hotel was super nice, the bathrooms were too. Very like.
Food: So the food was delicious, but I basically had the same main twice so that’s a little magoo. And overall it was overpriced for the vegan menu.
Bonus: Great to have a fancy restaurant on holiday.
Water speed: A little slow.
Service: Very fun mostly because of the wizelnuts 🙂
Bathrooms: The bathrooms were outside the restaurant and in the hotel lobby, so since the hotel was super nice, the bathrooms were too. Very like.
Food: So the food was delicious, but I basically had the same main twice so that’s a little magoo. And overall it was overpriced for the vegan menu.
Bonus: Great to have a fancy restaurant on holiday.
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Club Mexicana: I Guess There Is Good Mexican Food in London!
For so long, I’ve been complaining about how England can’t do Mexican food: they don’t understand spicy food, you can’t get good avocados here, and there’s a dearth of Mexican immigrants. But an all-vegan market stall called Club Mexicana proved me wrong! Club Mexicana pops up at the various markets in London, including Spitalfields and King’s Cross. And this month, they’ve taken over the Hornbeam Cafe in…super northeast London to host fantastic Friday night dinners. (I mean dinner on Friday nights, not Shabbat-style ‘Friday night dinners’.) If you have a chance to get to god knows where I went last week (Walthamstow…shire?) any Friday this month, then you must go! They have loaded nachos, tacos, burritos, empanadas, and more. Most importantly, their signature dish is pulled jackfruit, the coolest vegan meat substitute ever.
Loaded nachos
At their most recent Friday night dinner, Club Mexicana offered a solid and surprisingly well-priced menu of small and large plates. The small options included roasted cornbread with mole, pedron peppers, tortilla soup, and loaded nachos. Obviously we got the loaded nachos because dayum! Vegans need to jump at nacho opportunities when they can. Also, outside the U.S., apparently people think ‘nachos’ just means ‘plain corn chips’ and that’s terrrrrrible, so I had to take advantage of someone knowing better. The nachos had vegan cheese sauce (I think it’s house made!), black beans, ancho chili sauce, sour cream (again probably house made), jalapenos, and cilantro, which they call coriander here but coriander is the dried version so I’ll never accept that. It also had guacamole, which sadly succumbed to the British curse of being weird and creamy instead of being normal.* It was better than other attempts I’ve had here though! The nachos were really good. I was intrigued by the cheese sauce. It was really sharp yet creamy and it didn’t make me angry so right on. As with every single maker of nachos, however, the bottom layer was naked.* When will people learn to stagger the toppings on all the layers and not just dump them on top so you get really loaded chips at first but then are left with NOTHING at the end? I would be so good at nachos.
We also got the tortilla soup, which the menu called ‘sopa di tortilla’ which is accurate but I read it as carrot coconut soup for some reason?? Don’t know how that happened but luckily that’s not what arrived. The spicy, tomato-base, lime-doused soup was really good, although I would have preferred more beans (any beans?) in it. I’m just used to my tortilla soup being full of beans. Haha full of beans. This one was mainly thick broth, but the broth was delicious so it’s all good. It also was topped with the sour cream from the nachos, which was a really nice component even if it disintegrated into the soup before it even arrived.
We also got the tortilla soup, which the menu called ‘sopa di tortilla’ which is accurate but I read it as carrot coconut soup for some reason?? Don’t know how that happened but luckily that’s not what arrived. The spicy, tomato-base, lime-doused soup was really good, although I would have preferred more beans (any beans?) in it. I’m just used to my tortilla soup being full of beans. Haha full of beans. This one was mainly thick broth, but the broth was delicious so it’s all good. It also was topped with the sour cream from the nachos, which was a really nice component even if it disintegrated into the soup before it even arrived.
Sopa di tortilla. That does not translate to carrot.
We had much more trouble choosing our mains. Not only were there two entrees featuring pulled jackfruit, but they also had chili-non-carne sloppy joes and chorizo empanadas! The jackfruit came in either taco form or burrito form. I knew I had to have one, so I figured I’d continue the taco cleanse. The waitron recommended the chorizo empanadas as our second main. Excellent choice!
So I’m obsessed with pulled jackfruit now. I had it once before, at the White Owl Social Club in Portland, but it was on a burger bun and the bread overpowered it. Thin little corn tortillas really are the perfect showcase for this ridiculously inventive food. Jackfruit is yeah it’s a fruit, but when you shred it, it really resembles pork? or something crazy? It’s so mind-boggling and delicious that Upton’s Naturals is going to be selling it alongside its packaged mock meats. That’s aweeeesome! Club Mexicana’s version is hand-pulled and marinated in bourbon BBQ sauce, and served on the aforementioned little corn disks with sour cream, too-creamy guacamole again but whatever it’s still guacamole, and salted chiles. It also came with more tortilla chips and a warm cabbage slaw that I liked to put inside the tacos. These were so good. Oh man. Jackfruit is too cool.
So I’m obsessed with pulled jackfruit now. I had it once before, at the White Owl Social Club in Portland, but it was on a burger bun and the bread overpowered it. Thin little corn tortillas really are the perfect showcase for this ridiculously inventive food. Jackfruit is yeah it’s a fruit, but when you shred it, it really resembles pork? or something crazy? It’s so mind-boggling and delicious that Upton’s Naturals is going to be selling it alongside its packaged mock meats. That’s aweeeesome! Club Mexicana’s version is hand-pulled and marinated in bourbon BBQ sauce, and served on the aforementioned little corn disks with sour cream, too-creamy guacamole again but whatever it’s still guacamole, and salted chiles. It also came with more tortilla chips and a warm cabbage slaw that I liked to put inside the tacos. These were so good. Oh man. Jackfruit is too cool.
Jackfruit tacos are the bestttt! And look at all those chiles! Spicy food happening!
The chorizo empanadas were also really good, like meat-filled hand pies. I guess in England that’s just hand pies. The menu said ‘puff pastry’ but it was denser than that (which was good for this dish), like heavy buttery pie dough holding shredded chorizo-style seitan, spicy potatoes, olives, and raisins. Luckily I didn’t taste any raisin because that is weird. They were topped with the creamy guacamole, sour cream, and ancho chili sauce. This plate (all plates?) also came with the warm slaw and more chips. It was a really yummy dish, but if you are ever choosing between jack fruit and Y, you must always go with jackfruit. Unless Y is world peace or something. Or, as Husband just answered to my question of what’s better than jackfruit, “jillfruit”.
For a specialty pop-up event like this, I expected the prices to be on the higher side, because they always seem to be. But Club Mexicana’s prices were pretty decent – 10 pounds for mains and 4 for the appetizers. That’s downright cheap for London! And it was so good too! If you are free this Friday or next (or the next?), try to catch Club Mexicana at the Hornbeam Cafe. Otherwise, follow them on social media to try to find their stall in the markets. And no matter what, get something with jackfruit!
CLUB MEXICANA, LONDON
Water speed: Glass bottle and little cups were already on the table! So happy.
Service: Everyone was so nice and helpful. It was probably the best service I’ve encountered in London yet. I’m not sure if the waitrons were Hornbeam’s or Club Mexicana’s, but either way, excellent job.*
Bathrooms: A singlet, was fine. The toilet flushed which is a big deal here.
Food: Really yummy Mexican food!
Bonus: Jackfruit!
*Club Mexicana has informed me that a) the waitrons were all their own staff members, so thanks to them for being great! They also said they are working on the nacho layering and chunkifying guacamole. Fantastic!
My New Favorite Restaurant in Baltimore: L’Eau de Vie Organic Vegan Brasserie
Before our very eyes, Baltimore has up and become a veritable vegan paradise! Well, if you know where to look. In the coming weeks, we’ll look at a whole bunch of vegan-friendly and amazing places (you can keep track of destinations, and read more posts about Balmore, as the kids say it, in the DESTINATIONS tab), but today is all about my new favorite restaurant in Baltimore: a French-inspired (hence the word I’m about to use:) brasserie called L’Eau de Vie, with an interesting all-vegan menu, some stellar dishes, super friendly service, and — WAIT FOR IT — the best water service maybe EVER (see the regular Laughfrodisiac Restaurant Review end notes). I KNOW! If you’ll find yourself in Maryland’s favorite city (but not its capital! some trivia for you)(are capital cities ever the best cities of the state? no), you must pay this place a visit. If not, read along with us and I guess pretend you’re eating this food; I know I am doing that right now.
L’Eau de Vie (which means The Shape of Water) (just kidding it’s The Water of Life, not a best picture winner OR a fish-f***ing movie) is a rather large and rather lovely waterfront space right between Harbor East and Fells Point. We walked there from Canton (look at me KNOWING SHIT) and it felt relatively safe and fine. And it’s easy to walk up Fells Point after for the nightlife if that’s the sort of thing you’re into. Me, I would just sit in the restaurant and eat the entire menu over and over, that’s the sort of thing I’m into, which, you’ll see, we tried to do. The staff was super lovely and the chef even came out to talk afterwards, which was a treat. I love talking to chefs pretending like I have any more sophisticated food thoughts in my brain than “please I have moar?” or “IT WAS SO GOOD”, but we had a nice chat. Their plats du jour, which is what I had ordered for my main (you’ll see boyyyys (you’ll see! the beauty of a studioooo that let’s us do our work and get paaaaid)(TAKE THE DEAL, ROGER)), will most likely change seasonally to reflect the best of what’s available and you know the weather and what people like to eat when it’s hot or cold out I mean you know what seasonally means.
Okay so the food, let’s get down to it. Between four of us, we ordered approximately 34 dishes. No that’s jokes but we had plenty, and it was RG (real good). We had enough that I had a sandwich leftover for our flight the next day! That’s my favorite kind of leftover. For appetizers, we ordered: the caesar salad, the mushroom pate, the seitan Rockefeller, and the pretzel bites. Let’s give each their due.
Let’s get the low point out of the way first, and it wasn’t even a low point, just underwhelming. With a little bit of luck work (My Fair Lady is next week’s show!), it could be stellar so hopefully some tweaks can be made. (“t-w-e-a-k-i-n-g tweaking, sounds like…he’s married” anyone?) The Caesar salad needs work. They need to double the amount of Romaine, and triple the amount of garlic-almond dressing, plus add some salt to the dressing and some more of the nut base for heft, and that’ll be great. It was too small and too nothing – there was barely any taste except plain raw garlic, which yes I love that but that’s not a Caesar.
The mushroom pate, on the other hand, was wonderful, and all three of my omnivore companions loved it, maybe even more than I did! I liked that it came with chip points because they were sort of like a cross between crackers and pita and tortilla chips and I love all those things. Any hesitation we had from the Caesar flavor(lessness) was nullified by the perfectly balanced taste of the pate.
The seitan Rockefeller, which means richest seitan in the world, was stellar, one of my faves. Maybe it’s just because I always love seitan, and they make their own in-house (you can even buy pounds of it ‘raw’ to cook at home! There’s a fridge case!). The Rockefeller sauce was delicious. It’s a super green sauce, filled with herbs and possibly spinach, and I love how fresh and strong it tasted. The pickled veg on the side was unnecessary; maybe a few actual pickles (in the American sense) would be better (or – you know what I always want – a small salad), or just roast the veg (or potato wedges!), since these root veg shapes were meh. but they were the garnish so no real complaints. The actual dish, the seitan, was great.
The last of the appetizers was my favorite thing of the whole meal, and so good I almost cried. I’m just SO PLEASED. These are the pretzel bites with spicy beer cheese, a play on the movie theatre and ballpark staple of my childhood. You all know how important it is to me that milkshakes are thick (thin milkshakes are just milk and they are an abomination to the phrase and to my existence if we wanted sweet milk we would buy a carton of Alpro chocolate soy for $1) but equally important to me is the quality of soft pretzels. It is hard impossible to find decent soft pretzels in England (so I make my own (“I’m 100% that bitch”)), especially coming from the city that perfected them (Philly). I did not expect these soft pretzel bites to be some of the most perfect soft pretzels of any size or form I’ve EVER had. The texture, the bite, the chewiness, the flavor, it was all heavenly. Literally almost cried. How did she do it? HOW? Teach me your secrets! They’re amazing. And the beer cheese? STOP. It was INSANE. Oh my god this was the best dish ever and you need to go to Baltimore and order it and find out how she made both components because they made like a Vedge-worthy dish. UNBELIEVABLE. I want pretzels and I didn’t raise any dough today DAMMIT.
For our mains, the three of them ordered sandwiches which I found hilarious but it was smart because sandwiches are some of the best food on the planet; Joey Tribbiani would never steer us wrong. (On my 115th rewatch, he’s probably the best character too.) And I ordered a terrific plat du jour. Between us we shared:
- the BL-TBD panini: tofu-bacon, lettuce, apple, and herb mayo
- the grilled seitan sausage reuben: their housemade seitan-sausage, sauerkraut, cashew cheese, thousand island dressing
- the double-decker sandwich: tofu-bacon, seitan-sausage, cashew-cheese, hyphen-overload, herb mayo, lettuce, apple
And my plat du jour of the herb mushroom crepes, with seitan-filled crepes, creamy herb mushroom sauce, and a baby spinach salad. (Did I get it just because it came with more salad? No! Not entirely.) We also added sweet potato fries on the side of one of the sandwiches.
The crepes were by far my favorite, and for the first time I felt like I did the best ordering. I always feel order envy and regret but not tonight! I never have crepes, just not usually my thing, maybe because of Ricky Bobby, but these were incredible. The seitan cubes were great but that mushroom sauce was real French restaurant perfection. It was saucier than it appears in the picture but I would have appreciated a little cup of more of the sauce just because man alive it was so good. I want that now too! Writing about food before dinner is rough!
The sandwiches were all good, but the seitan-sausage Reuben won the day for I think everyone. We have had our fair share of Reubens since vegan Reubens are also on my Very Important Food list, and usually I’m partial to tempeh-based ones. But this was GREAT. Inside shot:
The grilling really made it sing, and the combo of the sausage and the cheese and the sauerkraut was just right. SO GOOD.
I also liked the other two. The tofu-bacon, lettuce, apple, and herb mayo one felt very springy and fresh, and grilling it (it was also a panino) really made it work, especially with the fresh apple in there. The double-decker was good but I’m not a huge fan of an extra slice of bread in the middle of a sandwich so that’s purely just not my order. And this bread needed to be toasted; I think that would have been better. It was a little dry too, so a lot more of the mayo and cheese is definitely needed.
So that was our dinner at L’Eau de Vie, and despite my few bits of constructive criticism, it was sublime. It was pretty great all around, with some dishes spiking to absolutely amazing, making this my fave restaurant in the city and my #1 Must Return To If I’m Ever In Baltimore Again I Mean Surely I Must Be At Some Point Right restaurant. I highly recommend a visit!
L’Eau de Vie Organic Brasserie, Baltimore, Maryland, USA
Water speed: Our waitress was probably the fastest shot in the West with her pitcher of water. She would refill our glasses before they were even halfway through; it’s like she saw me coming and it was amazing. We were all in awe of her water skill. This sounds poss sarcastic but I’ve never been more serious; you know I need my water.
Service: Really nice and friendly!
Bathrooms: Big, clean, nice single serves.
Food: Overall great, some incredible. Would love to return.
Bonus: An all-vegan restaurant with quality French dishes? making their own seitan? with juices and smoothies and all kinds of my favorite things??? The best!
