Kashgar, China: A Vital Oasis on the Silk Road Both Then & Now

After Moscow, we began the part of our trip touring what Republicans would probably refer to as the ‘real Russia’ even though all parts of a country are real. A short high-speed train to Vladimir began our visit to Russia’s Golden Ring, small towns that used to be hugely important cities shaping Russia’s early history. And I mean early – Vladimir was founded in the elevensies by Prince Vladimir Monochromatic (something like that) of Kiev as a fortress town just because he was like ahh I need a fortress to protect my eastern lands and I’m all one color this is terriburrrr. Oh it was Monomakh. Anyway Vladdy was satisfied with his namebrand town as a fortress but his grandson Andrei could never be satisfied (and he also isn’t heeere how many Broadway references in one sentence can we do) so Andrei stormed Kiev and stole all the master craftsmen away and forced them to Vladimir to make it the new happening place. It became the Russian capital for a bit and had even more people than London at that time. London was so bum. The city’s population boomed as it became a political center and then a religious center, but then its population disappeared by the 1400s. Not like ah they were taken by aliens, just it shrank back to near nothingness because of Moscow being close and having the good opera and ballet and stuff. Today it is an industrial center with actually a completely vegan little cafe that does amazing wraps, a much more stable population, and lots of Medieval sites, mostly cathedrals, as most of the sites in this land are.

​We got to Vladimir at about 8:30pm, so we went straight to our hotel to drop our bags and then find food. The hotel was called the Kinolenta, and I should have guessed before, knowing that Kino means movie theatre, that I would like this place a lot – it was indeed movie themed! There were little film reel decals everywhere and they had a big screen tv at one end of the main hallway with a few chairs. Okay that is as far as the theme goes but for this little town that doesn’t even have a movie theatre it was pretty cool. In our room, there was a photo of London, complete with a double decker bus, so that was incredibly comforting and such a fun coincidence. It was technically a hotel and it was a lot nicer than our last hostel (dreck), but it still had a hostel vibe – shared bathroom (at least just with the room next door (which happened to be our cousin’s (so I guess I can’t complain about that))) and SUPER LOUD PEOPLE. After we came back from dinner at 11:30pm, there were about 20 adults having some sort of meeting in the kitchen – which was across from our room – while their children ran around the halls. Ughhh people what is your liiiife be quiettttt. I thought maybe I’d get up early and exercise or something and give the noise right back to them but then they were up meeting again in the kitchen at like 7am! Dammit loud people who don’t need much sleep! 

​Anyway, aside from those people the hotel was fine and the staff was very nice. The woman who checked us in spoke no English but we had an okay time. Since leaving Moscow, we are really seeing the payoff from studying Russian. Thank god we did. We would be scah rewed out here where we are now. So we dropped our bags and went out on the town of Vladimir, which actually had a lot of town to its name. Lots of restaurants were still open, there was a McDonalds AND a Burger King (the boys of course got soft-serve at McDonalds for the equivalent of like 40 cents and I’ve never been so jealous you know soft-serve is my favorite and I haven’t even been able to have even hard ice cream on this trip) (okay that’s not true I did have ‘ice cream’ in Moscow at Avocado but it was completely freezer burn like they bought it 10 years ago and I was the first dunce to order it). We walked through the main sites – namely the Golden Gate, which we would be visiting the next morning – and took some night time pics on our way to a HappyCow recommended place called Khilinki Dom, which means Tavern House. It doesn’t have anything particularly stand out for vegans, but it is a Georgian restaurant which means easy to find veggie side dishes. Unfortunately the bread wasn’t like my babushka friend’s in St. Petersburg, but it was still bread and I won’t turn it away. I got a dish of rice with chopped peppers and tomatoes, which was pretty good, and a plate of grilled vegetables that I didn’t take a picture of because it would have been ridiculous – it was half a tomato, half a red pepper, half a hunk of eggplant, and half a zucchini, grilled as is. It wasn’t bad. 

​After stocking up on water and apples at the biggest supermarket I’ve seen in a while (they had Alpro soy milk too! I had a baby vanilla one for dessert!), we had a lovely night listening to the kitchen meeting. The next morning we saw all the Vladdy sights, including the Golden Gate. Vladimir was once ringed entirely with earthen rampants, a bit of which remains that we climbed up. The whole city was protected by these defensive walls, and the Golden Gate is the part that still remains. We scrambled up the steep side of the rampant to get to the top and once there learned that there’s a pedestrian-friendly path on the other side.

​Above the Gate is a Cathedral, I mean I guess it’s all connected but there’s a Cathedral and it’s another one of those Deposition of the Robe ones, because it was really important to Russians to commemorate where their robes went. In there, there’s a small museum that was 100% worth it because there’s a huge diorama along one wall that tells the story of Vladimir with lights and an audio track. We arrived at a good time when we were the only people in that room so they played the English track! And they turned off the lights because no one was looking at the other stuff on the other walls so it was LEGIT. I don’t really remember what it was about but like in the 1200s the Tatars attacked by climbing up the ramparts and being like ahh are we wearing Scottish plaid or do we have bad teeth oh neither there aren’t enough r’s!!! But Vladimir stayed strong and still was important religiously. I don’t know I was so distracted by the cool flashing lights. 

​What else did we see. Oh we scrambled up the super steep rampart next to the Gate for the view of the town center, which was really the theatre and this big PECO building! Cool that they provide electricity to both Philadelphia and Vladimir.

​We also went to the Old Vladimir museum housed in a 19th century water tower, which was cool. It had a little room on each floor up the winding stairs and then had a lovely panorama view at the top. The museum showed off such…interesting, shall we say, dioramas of what life was like in Vlad 100s of years ago. Apparently old-timey men with ridiculous bicycles flirted with Elizabeth Hurley while other women had unfortunate hairdos but gorgeous desks. 

One thing I’ve noticed in every Russian town we’ve visited so far is that they really REALLY hate the Nazis, which I like seeing. I mean of course they do considering how many people they lost in WWII, it’s really insane how many, but it’s nice to see constant reminders of anti-Nazism, especially when my own country is failing to do the same and even demonstrating overt anti-Semitism in things that should be all-inclusive like the NYC Pride Parade. Raging over that. F you Linda Sarsour. 

After seeing all the Vladimir sights we wanted to see that day (lots of things are closed on Mondays and/or Tuesdays all over Russia), we went back to the hotel to grab our daypacks (they kindly stored our enormous packs for the next 24 hours) and went to catch the <1 hour minibus to Suzdal, the next of the Golden Ring towns on our agenda. 

​On the way to the Vladimir Bus Terminal (conveniently right across the street from the train station), we passed this sign on the main street:

​I MEAN. Could I BE any more excited? What a freaking fortuitous turn of events! I had read about Veggie Bro on HappyCow (it was literally the only other listing besides Khilinki Dom in the entire region) but it didn’t have an address listed so we had trouble internetting it. But it was RIGHT on the main street, on Bolshoya Moskovaya, I think it was called, and we just chanced upon it! So lucky! Of course we went in and luckily everyone was hungry so we got a lot. The man working the register was very nice and spoke the best English we’d heard in Vladimir, so he helped us order. They have various burgers and salads but really the draw there is the make-your-own wraps, because they are AMAZING. Seriously, after that sad sad Pret a Manger-style wrap I had on my first day in Moscow, this wrap was a g-d delight. You have to grill them, guys, that’s the secret to deliciousness and keeping them from getting soggy ugh that’s the worst. And amazing fillings. Husband got a seitan burger, Cousin got a falafel wrap, and I concocted a lavash wrap with seitan, shredded carrots, cabbage, cucumber, tomato, pickles, lots of fresh herbs (mostly dill, which I think I’m allergic to but that’s not part of this tale), and a secret Veggie Bro sauce. It was like a Greek gyro/god.

It was SO GOOD. Erma P GERD. I also got the ‘chef salad’ which was just lettuce, beets, and hummus, with a SHITTONNE of paprika tossed around the plate (Jojo don’t look you’ll die!) so that was a little sad looking but I was due for some lettuce and hummus (which 90% of the time is what I eat for dinner when I’m by myself) so it was fine. Man alive I loved this wrap. Husband’s burger was good but the wraps are where it’s at. So obsessed. The lone young man cooking all the food back there is a talent. 

​Full and happy, we bought our minibus tickets for Suzdal. There are minis between the two towns every half hour or so, so you just rock up to the window when you want to go and you get on the next one. Don’t worry about them selling out, because apparently they don’t have a limit to how many tickets they sell for each bus. We were given seats 15, 16, and 17, but the seats only went up to #16! Then as more and more people got on we realized that it is a standing room only situation. Husband and I took turns standing and it was okay because I was listening to The Great Comet on my headphones (err day err day) even though I don’t think Russians on public transit know about headphones yet. It was packed full of smelly people as usual with that very distinctive Russian man b.o. but I had the voice of Groban in my ear and seitan in my belly so it was okay. No just kidding I was super nauseous the whole time. 

​We arrived in Suzdal at a train station literally in the middle of a field with nothing else as far as the eye could see. If Husband didn’t have his phone I don’t know how we’d be getting around. Seriously how did people travel before smartphones? How did I travel across Europe in college without internet! I can’t even believe that was me. Despite appearances, our guesthouse was only a 20-minute walk away, down dirt roads and little streets with the most adorable houses, most of which had very intricate wood carvings decorating the exterior.

​Our guesthouse had a cute little rooster carving on the outside as well as a phone number to call in case the door was locked, which it was. Okay, but most travelers don’t have telephone access! Luckily we did, but guess what, lo and behold that number was out of service! We banged on the door for a good 10 minutes before deciding to go ask the neighbor if she could help. Five or 10 minutes after ringing the doorbell there, Neighbor Babushka comes out and speaks rapid fire Russian maybe apologizing? She was smiling and she had the keys to the guesthouse! She let us in and without stopping to breathe she explained how to use the stove, the samovar, the oven, the microwave, the television, all while speaking incredibly fast countryside Russian and I was like ahhh I have to peeee. Luckily when she showed us our room and starting explaining how to use things we would actually be using like the keys, something clicked in my brain and I ACTUALLY UNDERSTOOD. Better than that, I communicated right back to her! We communicated the shit out of that conversation! I’m so proud. She seemed really proud of me too, I think. She didn’t slow down ever, btw, but every time we thanked her she would say no no I thank YOU! At least I think that’s what she said. I was sweating buckets throughout the entire conversation like my whole body was on red alert trying with every fiber to remember what I’d learned. I guess I learned something! I hated Neighbor Babushka when we were waiting outside in that sun and heat (first hot sunny day of course) but then we were BFF. 

​After that roller coaster of emotion, we hightailed it to the Suzdal Kremlin so we could see that and a museum before everything closed. Yes this is all still one day, the same day we saw all the things in Vladimir and ate that glorious wrap. The Suzdal Kremlin is not like the huge acreage of the Moscow one. This one is a very old fashioned white stone area with mostly cathedrals, including this beautiful blue-starred-onion-domed one that is one of the oldest cathedrals in all of Russia. I wrote on instagram that it was the oldest one but it’s one of the oldest ones okay just chill.

It’s quite cool that the architects had such fun with color and stars such a long time ago. Husband made a pun about this cathedral that I still have stomach pains over, many days later. He kept mentioning the ‘starry’ cathedral, which is funny/punny because it is covered with the gold stars of course but also because the Russian word for hella old is pronounced “starry” so you get it oh my belly oh oh oh the pain of his punning. 

​Oh outside the Kremlin was a honey-mead (this region is BIG On their mead and honey drinks) shop with MY FRIEND OUTSIDE!

​Can you believe it? His famous line in Shrek is pretty much my most quoted thing ever so I was super pumped. 

​The Kremlin grounds reached on around a beautiful expanse of fields and river and it was really peaceful and lovely.

​In some of the cathedrals were little museums full of more/endless religious iconography, including this one that I had a ball with trying to land the center square myself:

​Husband and I also did a prom-style pose in the middle there but it’s too embarrassing to share here. I’ll share this guys cape though! Religious figures know how to cape but good:

​On our lovely walk to our next site, we saw more lovely sprawling fields full of farmers as well as a tiny shack on the side of the road that had a legit kvass, mead, and other beverage brewing operation going, so of course we refer to it now as the funniest thing you can imagine if you were a fan of “30 Rock”:

The rural brewer! Hopefully you said it in your head the correct way, which is “the ruhhh bruhhhr” . I crack myself up. 

Next up was the Museum of Wooden Architecture, a hilariously cute outdoor museum site that has examples of real cabins and workshops and chapels and lighthouses as were used in regular domestic life of peasants in the area in the 18th and 19th centuries. All the structures were really used, taken from various villages in the region. 

​It was such a great way to do museuming, especially since we lucked out with the weather this day. We saw the inside of a small peasant chapel, a regular peasant’s house, a ‘well-to-do’ peasant’s house, and the world’s biggest hamster wheel:

Guess what, it is indeed like a hamster wheel – but for hooomans! It’s connected to the well, and to lift the bucket up and down the human actually has to power the wheel just like a hamster ahhh I wish they’d let me try.

​On the grounds, they had a cute little cafe and shop with lots of mead and honey jars and then something I thought would be for me – the seesaw! But as soon as I was about to sit on one end, I saw the saddest sign:

Children only! Fie! Fie upon your rules! I do love that that sign probably was the result of experience, though. 

For dinner that evening, we went to a relatively famous (for this one-horse town (actually, sadly, they did have horse-drawn carriages all over so it was really a 10-horse town but really more like a 1-horse town you get it)) restaurant on the main street recommended by our guide book and (we think) by Neighbor Babushka, called Kharchevnaya. The menu had English translations under every dish, although they weren’t the most helpful. They were pretty freaking entertaining though:

The Omelet is Natural! Cheerful honey moderately drunk! Meat motley crew!
​The only vegetarian-looking things were that Omelet is Natural and some mushroom dishes. I asked about the mushrooms but she said they were cooked in cream. I asked if they could cook me mushrooms without cream, and she said they could give me potatoes. Like okay I know I’m being a nuisance by asking for changes but that’s just a whole different thing lady. Anyway it was okay, the potatoes were really good and I haven’t gotten sick of them just yet. I also got a salad-y pickle-y plate which I am accustomed to now, having had it at most meals it seems! But I like it! It’s good to have fresh vegetables and pickled stuff for probiotics. Pickled stuff has probiotics right? I’m counting on that to prevent illness. Haha just kidding we’re traveling through Central Asia for more than 3 months I’m gonna get sick. 

We said goodbye to Cousin after dinner, as his part of our journey ended and now it’s just the two of us. The next morning we interlaced our destinies and went to the big Monastery in Suzdal, The grounds were very nice, if the museums inside all the cathedrals and buildings seemed a little endless. But it was all worth it because the hunchback they have ringing the bells every hour is FIRE. Oh my god he did this incredible bell concerto for like 15 minutes I got only a 5 second video but it was awesome. I’ve never seen a noon-time bell ringing garner applause before. I’ve never seen any bell ringing garner applause before.

Aside from pretty but getting-standard cathedrals and museums of religious iconography (they had some naaaames back then), the Monastery also had a cafe with SOUP! I love soup. I asked about the shchi, one of my faves, but it had meat in it! It’s not supposed to! Maybe it’s supposed to. But lady was nice and said the mushroom soup had no meat. Yay! I asked for it without smetana – sour cream, which Russians put on EVERY SINGLE THING. I wouldn’t be surprised if people put it in their beer. I think they use the same spoon for everything because my soup had little flecks of sour cream in it but I did my best to fish them out and anyway I can’t even fathom how much accidental dairy and egg I’ve probably already had this trip so I didn’t go nuts over getting all the miniscule flecks out. I’m okay. It was really good soup! I mean it was fine but all soup is generally really good yay soup.

​The monastery was surrounded by ramparts that we could walk through, and we were delighted to find that inside these walls were like little movie museums! Apparently Russian filmmakers have used the monastery very often in their films and so many movies were shot there. They had posters to a lot of them lining the walls, as well as a projector and screen set up. It would be cool to see a movie in there! 

​After we saw all the Suzdal sites on our list, we headed back for another minibus adventure back to Vladimir. This time, we both had to stand the whole time and ugh it was hot. Luckily, our reward for that journey was another meal at Veggie Bro! This time, I got a seitan AND falafel wrap (genius) with various veggies and sauces and it was sooo good. Husband got a smoked seitan and tofu wrap with BBQ sauce that was also really good. And I got the chef salad again, expecting that sad lettuce and hummus plate, but out came a gorgeous cabbage and red pepper slaw!!

​I think chef salad just means whatever the chef feels like cooking up that day! In for it! I loved this salad so much and this wrap. And this place! I wish Veggie Bro had a location in London because I really want to go to them again but I don’t know if Vladimir really necessitates a second visit. We had a great few days in these Golden Ring villages of Vladimir and Suzdal, called such because they are ancient towns preserving the memory of the important times of early Russian history. They are very charming. But of course they are tiny little towns and we saw the things we had to see, so, I guess, that’s all she wrote. That night, we got on our first long overnight train, from Vladimir to Yekaaterinburg, a 24-hour journey. Next post will be my nervous breakdown on that train, before I knew what a nervous breakdown really was (cough wrote most of this post on a three-day train cough). Till next time!

After our lovely time in Samarkand, we ventured to our next Uzbek stop of Khiva. Khiva would resemble Bukhara more than the others, in that it’s a contained little ancient town full of minarets and mosques and the whole damn thing is a UNESCO World Heritage site. Also, it was similarly dusty and dry and boring for modern travelers but interesting to see for history purposes. It’s unclear when exactly Khiva was established, but historians say it probably came about after Jesus was born like as a birthday present for him maybe. (Not that last part.) But in the past thousand or so years, the town has gone through several different ruling classes from various cultures. I guess they all kept thinking like I did, going ‘hmm this place seems interesting let’s rule it up oh wait everyone here is mean and it’s kind of blah let’s bounce.’ 

But before we bounce, we have to get there. From Samarkand, we had a midnight-ish train to Khiva. The lovely staff at L’Argamak Hotel in Samarkand let us hang out until we had to leave, even though that meant we were keeping everyone up. They were so nice I missed them immediately upon leaving. Our train was actually to Urgench, a city large enough to have a train station, because Khiva is a little wee sandy baby that is not and does not. Once at Urgench, we had a car waiting for us, arranged through Sultan at the Advantour tour company, who arranged all our Uzbek transit (recommended; you don’t want to deal with Uzbek train tickets or taxi drivers). I honestly don’t remember this overnight train, which means it had to be okay, right? Or I just was so traumatized that I blocked out all memories? No I think this one was uneventful, and uneventful is good. 

The next morning, we met our driver for the ride to Khiva, and he was the best driver and communicator yet so I wished we had him for more than just a 30 minute ride (‘whether bright or melancholyyyyy rough and ready finely spun’ anyone??). He told us about Urgench and how many people live there and what they do and grow and it was nice! I think there’s cotton there. 

So Khiva was originally full of Iranian people speaking an Iranian language. But then the Turks, those darn Turks, took over power in the 10th century. After the Turks got tired of all the mean people in the restaurants and all the French tourists, the Astrakhans had their turn. Then the Astrakhans went back to their preferred job of imprisoning wizards and Khiva fell into the hands of Russians, under General Konstantin von Kaufman in the 1800s. Russia was soooo nice though and let Khiva act in a quasi-independent manner, kind of like they are doing to the USA right now! I guess this is why you can get by speaking Russian in Khiva, although no that’s not it because it’s pretty regular all over Uzbekistan so maybe it filtered in otherwise; I’m sure they took over at various points in time and space. Anyway Khiva was part of the USSR in the 1900s and then it became part of the Uzbek Soviet Socialist Republic and now it is part of Uzbekistan and yes I am getting all of this from wikipedia but my husband donates to it (unlike the rest of us who see that message ‘we just need a dollar from you and then you can keep having access to all this knowledge that you regularly use just give us a dollar’ and we just click that black ‘x’ on the box and are like byeeees am I right up top) so I think it’s okay. 

Khiva exists in two parts – the ‘modern’ part of town where people live and where there are like roads (barely) and markets (found one) and stuff, and the ancient inner town completely surrounded by walls. The inside walled part is the historical center, the important part for tourists, the World Heritage area. It’s called Ichan Kala, the walled inner town, and it contained more than 50 monuments of historical importance that honestly are like heavily unmarked so I don’t really know what I’m going to be sharing pictures of, just know that they are the historic important things. Luckily, wiki tells me that the most important parts of Ichan Kala are the walls and the gates, and I can’t mess up identifying those! Above is a gate! Wheee! 

Right on the other side of the gate was our guest house, the Qosha Darvoza which no I don’t know how to say either but I do love u-less q words. I highly recommend this guest house for Khiva visits because the location is perfect – right outside that (north?) gate of the old town so it’s very close but not inside the ancient walls, which is important because inside is like an immediate uncomfortable trip back in time and you don’t want to sleep in that kind of place. Also who knows if there’s electricity? So the Qosha cabana is a great choice. The man working there was also one of three very kind Uzbeks we met during our time in the country so you will want to meet him because that’s like a unicorn in these parts. Also it had such a cool desert-chic vibe. 

I loved the Qosha’s location because as soon as you left those front doors, you were surrounded by the sights. First, across the street was a beautiful garden that we enjoyed walking through as we went back and forth to the old town. It was the only pretty thing in Khiva!

I’m sharing this super embarrassing picture (where’s that PPK thread when you need it) because it’s so cool how you can see the ancient gate and walls of the city in the background! Once you enter those gates, it really is a whole other world, and Uzbekistan itself is a whole nother world too so when you’re in the Ichan Kala it’s like so many worlds removed from earth know what I’m saying. Once you enter the gates, it’s like a little bit of Mars or maybe Tatooine right? Here’s that same girl in the same dumb hat on the other side (I’m on the east side, I’m on the west side, I’m on the one side, I’m on the other side). 

Note to people who like to not be broken, climbing these walls is a bit treacherous! You can pretty much scramble your way up to this first level and take a few steps, but don’t go too far because it is like from the 8th century and is not exactly a ‘path’. Also climbing up to the higher levels would require more than just the willingness to scamper; I think you’d need rope. Kinda skir kinda skir! 

A few steps beyond the gate, we ran into construction on one of the major buildings, because we were in Uzbekistan and that’s what we learned to expect all over this country so why should this tiny protected town be any different. 

According to the signs around the construction site (this they sign well but of course none of the historic sites have plaques or any info eye roll), a Chinese company was overseeing this work. We seriously considered going in without hardhats and seeing if they could feed us (god we missed Chinese food/non-Uzbek food). 

After this point, the Ichan Kala land becomes a complete maze. It is full of winding little alleys and no street signs (they aren’t streets!) and buildings that all look the same, lather rinse repeat, so following a path or keeping hold of any sort of intention with your wandering is impossible. And filling all these alleys are children who have learned how to say ‘WHERE YOU FROM’ in the languages of the main groups of tourists who come here – English, French, German – and they will chase you and harass you and shout WHERE YOU FROM as long as they want. Kind of annoying! And they see how lost you look because who can follow directions in this sort of confusing sandy maze! So they will chase you and ask you if they can help you and ask for American money and we were like ‘we don’t have any American money we are in Uzbekistan!’ and they won’t care and will just keep repeatedly asking you for it and chasing you. If you persevere, you’ll make it through the shady part of the alleys and into the opening up of the tourist center. 

And if you make it into the tourist center of the old town, you make it to all the minarets and mosques and unmarked other buildings and LOTS of French people. This is the one place on earth I’ve been where the touts don’t lead with English, guessing that regardless of where you are from as a white person, you probably speak English, playing the odds that English will work. Here the odds are higher that French will work! They lead with French because the tourists here are mostly French! It was kind of cool to notice that difference. And to not be bombarded with nonstop shouts of ‘where you from’ and ‘here buy this souvenir’ in English was fun. 

Strangely, despite how barren this section of the country seemed, the very center of the center of the old town was full of tourists and LINED with touts and souvenir stands, which was quite surprising. And kind of blew the whole ancient historical vibe that is the purpose of a visit to Khiva. And if you didn’t catch what I was saying before, everyone was kind of mean, except for our guest house man and like one guy at one restaurant we ate at. Over three days! It still is cool to see this old town center and all the buildings, but you could honestly get your fill in a few hours, not a few days, and preserve some of your sanity, patience, and good will towards men (although that’s no longer necessary, haven’t you heard, men are over). 

Some of the buildings are pretty cool! As you can see! But we’ve been looking at similarly blue tiled mosques for like yeeeeears now. They all have names and stories but they weren’t well marked and we were kind of over it, I’m sorry to say. But it happens with long-term travel! Or even short-term travel! Don’t feel bad! 

We mainly wandered around the old town, got lost, got hot, got thirsty, and looked on with appreciation at all the old structures. We were planning to climb the minaret but the random lady who came out of nowhere and approached us as the guardian of the minaret (a suspicious thing that happened at least five times a day so far since arriving in Uzbekistan) gave us a price for the climb that just wasn’t worth it. But it was super hot anyway so pictures will suffice. 

My favorite thing in the old town was honestly this map of the Silk Road. It was exciting to see how far we’ve come, how much we’ve seen. And it gave us some much needed boosting in terms of morale to remember how epic this trip was. 

I also liked this statue, of Al Khorezmi. Khorezm is the name of the region surrounding Khiva, and Al Khorezmi was a scholar who I’m gonna guess is the same as Al Khwarizmi, the famous Persian mathematician who is considered the founder of algebra. He does indeed look like he’s thinking hmm why on earth am I foisting this shit upon the world. No just kidding algebra is great. 

Oh I want to say that this is the Jame Mosque, a) because I know that the Jame mosque has over 200 columns and this looks like it could be it and b) I just want to be able to name something in this post considering what a shit job I did of recognizing what anything was in the first place. The Jame mosque’s pillars date back to the 10th century, and you can walk among them while enjoying the one single space in town that provides respite from the heat and sun. Apparently there’s a carriage in here that was a gift from Tsar Nicholas (old friend!) to the khan but I don’t see it, do you. 

As for food, I was able to navigate the same-old same-old menus in the old town’s tourist-friendly (but not actually friendly, as we’ve established) restaurants. The place I was excited for turned out to be the world because of the staff. I think it was called Cafe Kheizem, right at the main central toilets (yes there are toilets in the center!). It was disappointing because the waitress didn’t write down our order and so my most-wanted dish of stewed cabbage never came, and when I asked the staff about it (she was long gone by then) there was no receipt or anything to point to. UGH. Listen, if you are in the restaurant business, it is not impressive at all if the waitstaff can remember your order without writing it down. It’s literally the stupidest thing to try to do to impress us, because if it works it’s keeping things at base level competence, and if it doesn’t work well then your customers don’t get their food. JUST WRITE IT DOWN. I really wanted that cabbage too. I did have a salad of course and a cold noodle salad thing that we shared and they were fine but like so boring. 

Khorezem Art restaurant, on the other hand, is the only one I can recommend because like I said before, the guy working wasn’t outright mean to us. And it was fine. And they have beans! I got all the little accidentally vegan dishes on the menu and it made a very satisfying meal. 

So, we basically saw everything there is to see and then another three more times in one day. The next day, we slept super late and didn’t go back to go see the same things again till late in the day, which was nice. We spent some time enjoying Uzbek television in our room. The only thing we could understand was a children’s program that was teaching English. And yet we watched it. 

We were set to leave super early in the morning, in another car booked with Sultan, to take us to Nukus (we will talk about that in the next post!). We checked out the night before since it would be so early, and told the Qosha Darvoza guys that we wouldn’t need breakfast that early since it would be too early for humans to eat. They were so nice that they wouldn’t let us skip breakfast, and instead they packed us a giant wine box full of an insane amount of dumplings (not for me but still, nice), water bottles (def for me!), bread, cucumbers and tomatoes (I know), pears, and cake. How sweet is that?! Yay for nice people! And it saved us from having to buy stuff for our train that night. 

Everything else was bullshit though, and we’d have even more rudeness in our next stop. We were so sick of this country and how badly it wanted to screw with it, apparently, so we were kind of dragging ourselves from place to place and going through the motions. What a shame to feel this way when traveling in such far away, seemingly cool places! Well not everything can be a winner, and at least we saw some nice mosques and minarets and other old things.