Turpan, China: Never Need a Reason, Never Need a Rhyme, Let's All Call It Turpantineby Randi / September 14, 2017
After our visit to Turpan, we took a super short train to Urumqi, which is the capital of the Xinjiang region. You know how state capitals are often not the best city in the state and usually not even in the top five? Like, Harrisburg you’d have to pay me to go back to. And Albany, I don’t know anyone not in government who would ever want to go to Albany. I don’t think anyone in government ever wants to go to Albany either but they have to. I still feel bad for my poor law school friends who were sent there to take the bar instead of the Javitts Center. Suuuucks. Anyway, same for Urumqi. It used to be a big deal on the Silk Road, as all these Xinjiang towns were because they had water and goods and people to help caravans and traders survive as they trekked through the desert. But now it’s just, city. And not a particularly fun one, just…city.
Urumqi is booming now with more than 3 million residents (tiny for China but big for rest of the world!) and apparently it is the biggest city in Central Asia (which I guess includes Xinjiang and the stans). Remember how in the Turpan post I said that Turpantiners consider their town to be farther from the oceans than any other place on earth? Well the Guinness Book of World Records, famed chroniclers of all things super important, give that honor to Urumqi. Let’s not quibble though, you both will always stay in my heart as the driest hottest hellholes in all of China. Okay they aren’t hellholes at all (they’re good cities Brent), they just have the same climate as hell.
After we got off the train, we did not walk out into the world as you usually do when you get off a train. We had to go through security again. To get out of the station. That’s how serious Xinjiang security is. At the exit were police and baggage x-rays and metal detectors for people to walk through and everyone diligently went through the ritual but we were pulled aside by guards seated at a table (you NEVER want to catch the attention of the seated guards!). They took our passports and wrote the info in a book, I’m guessing the Big Book of Foreigners, before letting us into their so magical city. Getting a little bit annoying. As I shared before, in China, there is no common building when people enter and exit and buy tickets all in harmony. All those activities are spread out over huge station complexes so that, if you want to pick up your tickets for your next train (as you should do when you arrive to be safe), you have to go through the rigmarole (I really don’t like that there’s not another a in there) of leaving the station, and then you have to walk around the whole damn thing and find the main entrance so you can then find the ticket office. And, guess what, to get to the ticket office, you have to go through x-rays and metal detectors and security again! I always wait outside with all the bags so Z can run in more easily. But guess what, Urumqi was not a ‘run in and hurry through security’ kind of ticket office situation. I waited in the sun for over an hour for him to return! In the picture above, you might be able to see a long line of people from the station door. That line stretched all the way back to be even with where I was standing, and that was just after the guards at that checkpoint checked you out and let you into the main line. The line to reach THOSE guards stretched down the block. The amount of time he had to wait in that line was almost longer than our train here. It was RIDICULOUS.
Fortunately, we had a nice refuge to go to next. To make up for the hole that was Turpan and our hostel, we upgraded to a room at the Urumqi Sheraton for this visit. Of course, that refuge was temporarily blocked by – you guessed it – more baggage x-rays, metal detectors, and security guards at the entrance. We couldn’t even tell when we entered if we were in the hotel because it was in a mall! So we looked up and saw cafes and stores lining the perimeter and no Sheraton Hotel signs and we were trying to ask the security guards if this was the hotel and they just yelled to put our bags on the conveyor belts which DID NOT FIT BECAUSE THEY ARE HUGE BACKPACKS AND THE BELT WAS MADE FOR EVERYDAY PURSES and they were NOT HAVING IT and finally they just let us through to the check-in on one side of the lobby and the hotel staff was nooooot good, not good at all, I must remember to complain about them. Anyway we finally got up to our room and then everything was okay. As long as we stay indoors, away from every other human, we will be fine.
obligatory hotel pics
Before this trip, I never really appreciated a Sheraton or similar mid-level hotel chain. They are clean and comfortable and have real toilets! This was the perfect thing to do at this time in our travels, because we really needed a few days without too much running around (any) and without too many things to see (we literally saw one). Instead, we ate snacks in the hotel bed (what a lovely bed I love bed) and watched horrible movies. This hotel didn’t have HBO like our other recent treat-yo-self China hotel stays have surprised us with – but it had Cinemax. Lolol you know how people used to joke and call it Skinemax? That’s not the right joke. There was nothing bawdy on, just PURE UTTER SHIT. We watched so many bad movies. There was one with Chloe Grace Moretz where somehow she keeps surviving all these alien attacks that wipe out 99% of the population and you watch and you think ‘well she’s gotta be special in some way right any minute now we will learn what makes her so different from everyone else and she will fight something and win back Earth’ but no her special skill is sleeping with a man who turns out to be part alien and HE is the one who helps save her she LITERALLY does nothing oh my god why is she the star in this disaster movie if she has NO Katnissy skills to speak of she literally just lucked out a few times then met a rando and slept with him and the man saves her and some other kids she does NOTHING and has no special abilities except not dying from bird flu or whatever. We watched this movie twice. We also watched Whiskey Tango Foxtrot twice, partly because Tina Fey is great even when she’s trying to be serious and dramatic and you’re like aw good for you hon trying new things and mostly because we have a big metal water bottle from the film that sits in our bathroom for no good reason so it’s like a part of the family. WTF was actually not bad. The third movie we watched was indeed awful. It was called Terrordactyl. I shit you not. Terrordactyl. It was like if Sharknado wasn’t funny, but was super depressing because you just feel so bad for these ‘actors’ who showed up to set and probably couldn’t make eye contact with each other because they were so ashamed of what their careers and dreams had become. We watched it only half a time.
In the mall attached to the hotel. WHAT THE CRAP IS KILLER LITTERING? IS IT THROWING PEOPLE OFF THE SKYWALK SO THEY DIE? IS THAT WHAT KILLER LITTERING MEANS?????
We lucked out with the hotel being attached to a mall because in our newfound lazy state, we didn’t have to go very far for food. Well, our first night, we did try to go very far for food. There’s one vegan place on HappyCow called Yuangqi Vegetarian, and we got on a public city bus to get there with everyone staring at us (we did not see any other tourists in this city, p.s.). It’s online info said it should be open and I was so excited to finally have a good meal after a few days without. I was so excited for their mock meats, as HC reviews claimed they had. Well I will never know because there was a handwritten looseleaf paper sign on the padlocked door that a nice passerby told us said they needed a rest today and had closed. FUUUUUCK YOUUUUU you need a rest?? I NEED FOOOOOOOOD. Dammit to hell. We could have tried back the next day but I was too angry with them.
Learning not to ever leave the hotel and its attached mall, we returned and scoped out the many restaurants on the upper floors, including a food court that was, as usual, too confusing with too unhelpful staff so we chose a Han restaurant with a picture menu. We got several vegetable dishes that were pretty good and I got mapo tofu but asked first if it was vegetarian because it always had pork, but this menu didn’t say pork. The waitress said yes and confirmed that it had no pork when we asked that separately. Of course it came with pork, and when we said (/had our phone say) ‘but you said it didn’t have pork!’ she motioned that it was just a little bit. I get that vegetarianism is super alien to most Chinese people considering their recent history and that being able to eat meat is a sign of being in an okay place finally, so it’s hard to complain about all these frequent mishaps. But like, this was a young girl and I asked her so many times. Blah. I hate wasting food so I hope someone ate it in the back. They brought me a porkless one and it was really good so at least it was sort of worth it.
This delicious spinachy dish was translated on the menu as “Casual”. That’s it.
After dinner, we checked out another floor that had tons of ice cream vendors (still none for me in three months ughhh), donut vendors, drinks of all sorts, and of course bubble tea. We were surrounded! I ordered one and asked for bubbles to be added, as I always have to do because usually only the milk teas come with bubbles automatically. I learned the right words finally and everything. Of course, it came without bubbles. I have HAD IT with these M***F***ing kids giving me M***F****ing bobaless teas! I wasn’t having it anymore and I said, hey remember I asked for boba? And the boy said ‘yes but it doesn’t come with it so you can’t have it.’ I MEAN. Luckily someone else overheard and was like wtf is going on just put the damn bubbles in, it will not lead to the downfall of your (*cough* Taiwan’s *cough*) culture if you put bubbles in milkless teas.
Anyway.
The hotel had a pretty decent gym, with tons of treadmills, weight machines, free weights, and kettlebells, the first I’ve seen of those in any place in China. There was also a separate spinning room attached which is hilarious because it didn’t seem like they had any classes, just all the bikes set up as they would be in a class. Unfortunately, the staff members ‘working’ in the gym were beyond horrendous. Two young guys were chasing each other around the gym floor trying to pour water from paper cups onto each other the entire time I was on the treadmill. I kept looking back at them and being like WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU but they were too oblivious to notice my withering glare. Finally one of them left so the other finally just sat the crap down, but then this huge guy came in, went into the office inside the gym, and put on THE WORST music I’ve ever heard – slow, painful, and exceedingly loud. I asked the seated staffer if they could turn it down considering I had to cover my ears to breathe normally through it, and he shrugged and pointed to the guy as if to say ‘it’s his music.’ Remember that this huge guy putting the music on was not an employee. Seriously I need Sheraton Corporate to care that this was happening. I went up to the huge guy, who was starting to lift, and pointed to the office and the speakers and asked for him to turn it down. And you know what he did? He laughed at me. So I went right up in his face and SCREAMED “TURN THIS SHIT MUSIC DOWN BEFORE I TURN IT OFF FOR YOU YOU GODDAMN ASSHOLE.” He turned the music off. And then he did bicep curls with a freaking machine (so dumb) while making the loudest grunts I’ve ever heard at a gym and I just laughed thinking of what all the reddit fitness commenters would say about this jackwagon.
The hotel had a pretty decent gym, with tons of treadmills, weight machines, free weights, and kettlebells, the first I’ve seen of those in any place in China. There was also a separate spinning room attached which is hilarious because it didn’t seem like they had any classes, just all the bikes set up as they would be in a class. Unfortunately, the staff members ‘working’ in the gym were beyond horrendous. Two young guys were chasing each other around the gym floor trying to pour water from paper cups onto each other the entire time I was on the treadmill. I kept looking back at them and being like WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU but they were too oblivious to notice my withering glare. Finally one of them left so the other finally just sat the crap down, but then this huge guy came in, went into the office inside the gym, and put on THE WORST music I’ve ever heard – slow, painful, and exceedingly loud. I asked the seated staffer if they could turn it down considering I had to cover my ears to breathe normally through it, and he shrugged and pointed to the guy as if to say ‘it’s his music.’ Remember that this huge guy putting the music on was not an employee. Seriously I need Sheraton Corporate to care that this was happening. I went up to the huge guy, who was starting to lift, and pointed to the office and the speakers and asked for him to turn it down. And you know what he did? He laughed at me. So I went right up in his face and SCREAMED “TURN THIS SHIT MUSIC DOWN BEFORE I TURN IT OFF FOR YOU YOU GODDAMN ASSHOLE.” He turned the music off. And then he did bicep curls with a freaking machine (so dumb) while making the loudest grunts I’ve ever heard at a gym and I just laughed thinking of what all the reddit fitness commenters would say about this jackwagon.
in the Xinjiang Museum. Doesn’t “the mortals from the last millenium” sound like a creepy sci-fi film?
We were going to go to the big bazaar, but we read that it was pretty fake and just for tourists and it all sounded very annoying and unnecessary considering that our next destination, Kashgar, has an authentic and still amazing bazaar. So we didn’t. The one thing we did in Urumqi was the thing you really have to do when there, which is visit the big museum, called the Xinjiang Regional Museum (or the Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region Museum). Named for the whole region for a reason, it houses some of the most important archaeological and historical finds that weren’t shipped out of the country, including all those mummified corpses I mentioned in the Turpan post that they found there. They were REAL mummies, my goodness. It was a little sickening. The super dry climate in Turpan (slash all of Xinjiang) helped preserve so much detail – like, hair. And freaking eyelashes! There were 21 mummies, I think, in this museum, and they included men, women, and children – including an infant-sized mummy. It was very disturbing and upsetting to see. I think I am over dead bodies, okay?
The museum included exhibits on all the ethnic cultures living in the Xinjiang region, which happened to represent all of the places we had so far visited on this long journey – Russia and Siberia, Mongolia, Kyrgyzstan, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, and all the other stans. So my favorite parts of the museum were things that reminded me of our travels up to this point and pointed to our next destinations. like this look at Mongolian wrestlers that were NOT wearing the traditional wrestling uniform (speedo + feather boa) that we learned about in Naadam.
The museum included exhibits on all the ethnic cultures living in the Xinjiang region, which happened to represent all of the places we had so far visited on this long journey – Russia and Siberia, Mongolia, Kyrgyzstan, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, and all the other stans. So my favorite parts of the museum were things that reminded me of our travels up to this point and pointed to our next destinations. like this look at Mongolian wrestlers that were NOT wearing the traditional wrestling uniform (speedo + feather boa) that we learned about in Naadam.
I also loved seeing a view from inside a ger/yurt that had an animal right in the doorway! Just like we saw in Mongolia! It feels like that was years ago!
And of course I have to take a picture whenever there’s a dog.
But the best was this look at traditional goings-on inside a house…in which the museum staff decided it was super appropriate and traditional for the girl to be wearing a sweatshirt that says “MATHLETE”?? We were crying. Whoooo decided that? Do they know how weird it is? The others are wearing non-ridiculous garb. I still can’t get over this.
WHAT WHY
As usual, the other visitors to the museum provided some entertainment as well. I still am a little scared of this girl’s shirt:
It says “until the tears run into your mouth”. why so cry?
I can’t even put into words the immediate dread I felt when I saw this huge crowd of little kids on a school field trip. I gasped, saying to Z, “OMG ARE THEY ALL LITTLE TRUMP SUPPORTERS?” I see red hats, I fear the worst. I guess all these little Chinese kids aren’t probably Trumpers, right? Just an easy way for the teachers to keep tabs on them?
only a small section of the Baby Trumpers
After the museum, we walked around the city a little, and I found my new favorite bubble tea place, called FlyJuice. It was the best tea – not too sweet! – and it came automatically with boba AND weird white jelly! The best!
We did some more wandering, found a grocery store, and then went back to the hotel to scout more of the restaurant floors. I had a weird noodle bowl that ended up being with sauerkraut and not just plain cabbage that isn’t worth sharing a picture of. But I will share a picture of my dessert, courtesy of Happy Lemon drink stand.
Yeah, I know, I am a monster! I had two bubble teas in one day! It made me so nauseous that it actually – can you believe – put me off bubble tea FOR GOOD. Well probably not for good, but I haven’t had any since and looking back at these pictures is making me nauseous again. End of an era, I know. I guess that’s the secret to beating this type of obsession – have so much of it that you never want it again. I said to Z, “I’m like the girl in The Joy Luck Club who ate too much strawberry ice cream and then never ate it again.” Z said “what.”
So, I know we didn’t do much, but that’s our time in Urumqi. It was just a regular old city with a good museum but not much else to recommend it for tourists. It was good though because we needed a bit of a rest before the last section of our trip when we hop from place to place extremely quickly. I leave you with the sign on the door to the train platform (which some of you saw on instagram) as we left Urumqi for Kashgar (the next post).
AND TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER
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New Orleans Food Guide: If You’re Not Eating 24/7, You’re Doing It Wrong
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When I was in sixth grade, we sang this ridiculous song in chorus about New Orleans. I don’t remember what it was called or who wrote it, but I remember the words because they were all about food, with the most fun-sounding, exotic-to-young-me names. For more than 15 years, I’ve remembered those words and stored them for whenever I finally got to New Orleans, so I would be sure to eat the proper dishes. The song went:
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Jambalaya and a crawfish pie and file’ gumbo
Cause tonight I’m gonna see ma cher amio (pronounced ah-MY-oh)
Pick guitar, fill fruit jar, and be fine-o,
Son of a gun we’ll have big fun on the bayou.
Cause tonight I’m gonna see ma cher amio (pronounced ah-MY-oh)
Pick guitar, fill fruit jar, and be fine-o,
Son of a gun we’ll have big fun on the bayou.
And then at the end you repeated “son of a gun, we’ll have big fun, son of a gun, we’ll have big fun, son of a gun we’ll have big funnn onnn theeee bayouuuuuu” and I swore ONE DAY I would have big fun on the bayou and eat that file’ gumbo and fill my fruit jar and you know what buster? I did.
Seitan gumbo at Seed. It’s not my fault the bowl is messy.
As soon as we landed in New Orleans, we were starving. I don’t use that word lightly because there are actually people starving in the world and also because every time I say it I imagine Louis CK saying “I’m starving” in his voice of mockery (“I’m literally starving. It’s so annoying” oh my god I love it). We immediately began our journey through the many places on the NOLA List Of Dreams that I cobbled together from Melissa Bastian’s NOLAinGreen blog and from Queen Kittee Bee Berns‘ recommendations.
13 BAR
Our first stop was 13 Bar, in the Marigny, which is the neighborhood just northeast of the French Quarter. This low-key joint would be one of my favorite local places if it was in Philly or London. It was so casual and had a nice vibe. More importantly, it had several vegan options on the menu, including totchos (tater tot nachos)! I of course ordered the tofu bahn mi because that’s my favorite sandwich in the world. It was so delicious! The tofu was spiced and pressed into perfect little dense squares, and it had a good amount of shredded carrots, jalapenos, and cilantro. I could always use more but this veggie showing was more impressive than most other purveyors. I would have added some shredded lettuce or even jicama to add just a little freshness (all the vegetables were warm from the grilling). The bread was a little too chewy but the fillings made up for it.
Our first stop was 13 Bar, in the Marigny, which is the neighborhood just northeast of the French Quarter. This low-key joint would be one of my favorite local places if it was in Philly or London. It was so casual and had a nice vibe. More importantly, it had several vegan options on the menu, including totchos (tater tot nachos)! I of course ordered the tofu bahn mi because that’s my favorite sandwich in the world. It was so delicious! The tofu was spiced and pressed into perfect little dense squares, and it had a good amount of shredded carrots, jalapenos, and cilantro. I could always use more but this veggie showing was more impressive than most other purveyors. I would have added some shredded lettuce or even jicama to add just a little freshness (all the vegetables were warm from the grilling). The bread was a little too chewy but the fillings made up for it.
We also tried their red beans and rice, a New Orleans staple dish that quickly became one of my favorites and something I can’t wait to recreate. 13’s version was decent, creamy and comforting if a little bland. The service was fast, the bartender was nice, and they had a pretty clean bathroom. Win.
We didn’t get totchos, which in hindsight was the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. |
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COOP’S
We went to Coop’s, a famous old pub-ish place packed with locals, so husband could have their famous jambalaya, and we had our first fried shit of the week, the fried okra. Oh man. Fried okra might be my favorite fried thing ever! I don’t have pictures because Coop’s is dark and the people were kind of glaring at me?
We went to Coop’s, a famous old pub-ish place packed with locals, so husband could have their famous jambalaya, and we had our first fried shit of the week, the fried okra. Oh man. Fried okra might be my favorite fried thing ever! I don’t have pictures because Coop’s is dark and the people were kind of glaring at me?
SUPERFOOD BAR
On our second day, I patiently sat as my husband and his good friend who lives in NOLA ate supposedly the best fried chicken in the world. How good am I? What’s that, I deserve presents? Well I had a more than lovely reward afterwards, when they drove me to get my favorite type of food at Superfood Bar on Magazine Street.
On our second day, I patiently sat as my husband and his good friend who lives in NOLA ate supposedly the best fried chicken in the world. How good am I? What’s that, I deserve presents? Well I had a more than lovely reward afterwards, when they drove me to get my favorite type of food at Superfood Bar on Magazine Street.
This is the best picture I’ve ever taken you’re welcome |
Viet Wrap I had some doubts about a place called Superfood Bar. I love things that profess to be super foods and raw and super healthy and what not, but I always wonder whether such a place would be too raw and too grassy even for me. But for the most part I loved my food!
It was a cute little spot that reminded me of Blossom du Jour in NYC, but with slightly better seating, cheaper prices, and a bathroom, praise the lord. I got a green smoothie of course, because I hadn’t had one for more than 24 hours and I wasn’t sure what would happen to me if I waited any longer. It was a decent smoothie, full of greens, but I asked to add some Grassy Green or some such powder that made it taste primarily of that. Not bad though! |
Kimchi salad
So that was breakfast, and then 6 minutes later I had a wonderful lunch of the Kimchi Salad and the Viet Wrap. The salad was a bit bland, but luckily the wrap came with an extra side of sauce that I shared with it. The wrap though was SO good! It was in a gluten-free brown rice wrap, and as I’ve learned (and learned to love), when you grill a brown rice wrap, they get kind of hard and surprisingly crispy instead of just hot. Well I love it. The wrap comprised a spicy red bean and rice patty, paying homage to the famous dish of NOLA, along with pickled vegetables like carrots, lots of cilantro, not enough greens but I drank those, a sunflower cream and a spicy mango sauce. Oh man I could eat healthy wraps like this every day. Nothing makes super healthy food like putting it in a warm wrap.
RAW REVOLUTION
After I was sufficiently (insanely) fed at my new fave place Superfood Bar, we wandered around the area of Magazine Street, which is a somewhat more upscale and modern shopping area, at least the stretch we wandered. Just a few blocks down from Superfood Bar was Raw Revolution, which was also on my list for lunch. I can never thank the universe enough for making me choose Superfood Bar first, because, in contrast to the few things I could find online, Raw Revolution does not have food. It has a fridge of bottled juices, yes, and some ginger and lemon shots, and some packaged raw date balls (that were actually delicious, but made on Martha’s Vineyard?) and kale chips, but it doesn’t have food. It was mostly pills and products for cleanses (and not the good taco kind) and stuff like that. It was a disappointment. I don’t know how they pay the rent for the large, mostly wasted space, unless people in New Orleans like to spend a lot of money on diet pills and shite like that. (And then I bought a juice for later and it was over $10 and realized oh that’s how they pay the rent, gauging. It was a decent extremely green juice but dayum, this isn’t NYC.)
After I was sufficiently (insanely) fed at my new fave place Superfood Bar, we wandered around the area of Magazine Street, which is a somewhat more upscale and modern shopping area, at least the stretch we wandered. Just a few blocks down from Superfood Bar was Raw Revolution, which was also on my list for lunch. I can never thank the universe enough for making me choose Superfood Bar first, because, in contrast to the few things I could find online, Raw Revolution does not have food. It has a fridge of bottled juices, yes, and some ginger and lemon shots, and some packaged raw date balls (that were actually delicious, but made on Martha’s Vineyard?) and kale chips, but it doesn’t have food. It was mostly pills and products for cleanses (and not the good taco kind) and stuff like that. It was a disappointment. I don’t know how they pay the rent for the large, mostly wasted space, unless people in New Orleans like to spend a lot of money on diet pills and shite like that. (And then I bought a juice for later and it was over $10 and realized oh that’s how they pay the rent, gauging. It was a decent extremely green juice but dayum, this isn’t NYC.)
Our favorite thing to do is walk around new cities, so we walked maybe 45 minutes and were rewarded by the universe with this Mecca:
Damn right we’re taking a detour |
I want a dispenser of various bulk liquids at my Whole Foods! |
A GIANT WHOLE FOODS! Oh man, I love seeing what Whole Foodses in other cities have for sale. This one had so many more flavors of Justin’s Nut Butter than I’ve ever seen. If you haven’t had the vanilla almond butter, I suggest you find it immediately. Amazing! We also picked up a slice of vegan carrot cake that promptly melted (still good) .
HANSEN’S SNO-BLIZ
Then, because this trip was mostly about being gluttonous, we walked to the very famous and very old school Hansen’s Sno-Bliz, the greatest snow-cone-type concoction in the world. Listen, I’m from Philly, the land of waterice. I love all the old school waterice places all over the Philly area, but this place is different and ridiculously good. They pour their fancy syrups over the shaved ice, like snow cones, but then they put it in a machine that like poufs and fluffs the ice and then drops clouds of snowier ice on top. And the flavors are so much more subtle and elevated and fancy than traditional waterice.
Then, because this trip was mostly about being gluttonous, we walked to the very famous and very old school Hansen’s Sno-Bliz, the greatest snow-cone-type concoction in the world. Listen, I’m from Philly, the land of waterice. I love all the old school waterice places all over the Philly area, but this place is different and ridiculously good. They pour their fancy syrups over the shaved ice, like snow cones, but then they put it in a machine that like poufs and fluffs the ice and then drops clouds of snowier ice on top. And the flavors are so much more subtle and elevated and fancy than traditional waterice.
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Look how it got fluffed! 
The majestic, mysterious cucumber. |
That first day I had half cucumber and half ginger. Yes, that’s right, CUCUMBER. And it was the best water ice-y thing I have ever, ever had. It was perfect, light and refreshing and a tiny bit sweet and it was somehow exactly like cucumber. Later, I tried cardamom which was spectacular, chocolate which was wonderful but comparable to Rita’s, and spearmint, which was somehow not mouthwashy. They also do cream flavors that my husband reported being amazing (especially the cream of root beer and cream of almond together) and that I will create later this week! I really want to try recreating the cucumber but my efforts would be disgusting I imagine.
MEALS FROM THE HEART CAFE
In the heart of the French Market, which is full of various vendors’ stalls of mostly food, stands the vegan-friendly Meals from the Heart café. I only got to try the vegan shake, which was very good despite not having any vegetables!
They also have Portobello sandwiches and other various vegan-friendly foods that I would love to try when I return. The extremely friendly manager/owner gave us fresh orange slices while we waited, and he talked about how his family started eating more vegan foods and solved tons of their health problems that they picked up from traditional New Orleans cuisine. Yay for people eating more vegan food, even if it’s for health reasons!
They also have Portobello sandwiches and other various vegan-friendly foods that I would love to try when I return. The extremely friendly manager/owner gave us fresh orange slices while we waited, and he talked about how his family started eating more vegan foods and solved tons of their health problems that they picked up from traditional New Orleans cuisine. Yay for people eating more vegan food, even if it’s for health reasons!
DREAMY WEENIES
Oh man, one of our absolute favorites was Dreamy Weenies – or, as we refer to it because it’s better this way, Weiner Dreams. So, this popular hot dog place has 5 vegan dog options!! I wanted to try the falafel dog, but I always have falafel, so I got the vegan andouille. So crazy meat-like ahh! I got it ‘Genchili’ style, which is topped with house-made vegan chili and Creole mix (celery, onion, peppers). With ketchup and mustard on top it was very tasty. It was seriously outmatched, however, by the red beans & rice, which we got as a side. Oh my goodness, these were the best red beans & rice either of us had in New Orleans! So crazy! The person who took our order also said that all of the sides are vegan. Amazing! So, you definitely have to go here and get a fun dog but BE SURE to get the red beans & rice all the time. I wish I knew how good they were earlier in the week; Weiner Dreams was so close to the hotel, we could have had them for breakfast every day. They also had a navy bean pie on display that husband said was really good, so I will be making that soon.
Oh man, one of our absolute favorites was Dreamy Weenies – or, as we refer to it because it’s better this way, Weiner Dreams. So, this popular hot dog place has 5 vegan dog options!! I wanted to try the falafel dog, but I always have falafel, so I got the vegan andouille. So crazy meat-like ahh! I got it ‘Genchili’ style, which is topped with house-made vegan chili and Creole mix (celery, onion, peppers). With ketchup and mustard on top it was very tasty. It was seriously outmatched, however, by the red beans & rice, which we got as a side. Oh my goodness, these were the best red beans & rice either of us had in New Orleans! So crazy! The person who took our order also said that all of the sides are vegan. Amazing! So, you definitely have to go here and get a fun dog but BE SURE to get the red beans & rice all the time. I wish I knew how good they were earlier in the week; Weiner Dreams was so close to the hotel, we could have had them for breakfast every day. They also had a navy bean pie on display that husband said was really good, so I will be making that soon.
Good job weenies! 
I ate all the topping first :/ 
Fun chalkboards are always fun and chalkboardy |
The best red beans & rice 
I WILL HAUNT YOUR WEINER DREAMS |
My sausage plus waffle fries!
KILLER PO’ BOYS
One of the most fun food-related things in NOLA is the existence of Killer Po’ Boys. This centrally located Irish pub called Erin Rose has a little back room where a separate operation makes and sells fantastic po’ boys, the most famous food out of NOLA. I have tried to find out what makes a sandwich a po’ boy, and the only consensus is just the French bread, which seems super wrong.
One of the most fun food-related things in NOLA is the existence of Killer Po’ Boys. This centrally located Irish pub called Erin Rose has a little back room where a separate operation makes and sells fantastic po’ boys, the most famous food out of NOLA. I have tried to find out what makes a sandwich a po’ boy, and the only consensus is just the French bread, which seems super wrong.
Anyway, the best part? KPB always has a vegan option! I got a sweet potato & greens po’ boy, hot and melty from the grill and coated with a pecan spread. Holy crap this was so good! It was nearly falling apart, in the best way. Greasy from the grill and hot and perfect. I could have had two…maybe. It’s such a charming operation, just hashing out hot po’ boys!
I think of Joey from “Friends” as the voice of wisdom so sandwiches are the best food, and po’ boys are the most fun (besides bahn mi!). HOWEVER, on one menu at a different place we found this winner of a po’ boy listed:
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This is an actual food item that people apparently order and then eat. You know who these people are? US! I’m going to make this later this week! So tune back in for this craziness!
BREADS ON OAK
Thank you LazySmurf for telling me that Breads on Oak was a must. It’s kind of out of the way, over where d.b.a. is, but oh my god, everything I had (and I had a lottttttt) was amazing. We stopped here on our way out of the city for the day (for plantation and bayou tours) so I stocked up, getting an entire day’s worth of food (wasn’t necessary but you never know?).
Thank you LazySmurf for telling me that Breads on Oak was a must. It’s kind of out of the way, over where d.b.a. is, but oh my god, everything I had (and I had a lottttttt) was amazing. We stopped here on our way out of the city for the day (for plantation and bayou tours) so I stocked up, getting an entire day’s worth of food (wasn’t necessary but you never know?).
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I had the Buckwheat Breakfast Sandwich first – it was gluten-free and tasted like it (very earthy because of the buckwheat) but I love that taste. The tofu filling was mild and stuffed with sprouts, the perfect breakfast item.
For lunch a few hours/minutes later, I had the Live Food Sandwich, which featured the most incredible, chewy sandwich bread stuffed with carrots, cucumber, avocado, and some kind of spread. Ugh it was so good! My favorite kind of food, fresh vegetables and good bread. |
Floating breakfast sandwich of dreams 
Sooo good! And I think that’s the pie to the left |
The besssst
THE GUMBO SHOP
Right in the heart of the French Quarter is a heavily trafficked, adorable little restaurant called The Gumbo Shop. Because of its prime location, you’d probably assume it doesn’t have anything for vegans, but you’d be wrong. Not only is Gumbo Z’Herbes – a traditional vegetarian gumbo often filled with cabbage, collards, beans, and fresh herbs – always on the menu, but they also always have a vegetarian special entrée! Note, the Gumbo Z’Herbes is on the menu as an appetizer (a cup of it), but I wanted it as my meal so I just asked for a bowl of it and it was no problem. It was absolutely delicious!
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Here’s a picture of my favorite tree
I hope this will help you if/when you go to New Orleans! Don’t worry, we aren’t finished! The next two days will feature reviews of two fancier restaurants (Seed and Feelings) we went to that merit fuller coverage. Both were really good, and one was my favorite place of the whole trip!
After that, we will create dishes inspired by several items you see above — including that absolutely revolting but amazing sounding po’ boy!
Xi’an, China: Some Sights, Some Crowds, and Yes, Those Famous Foods
After our lovely time in Chengdu, I said a tearful goodbye to the Fraser Suites and we headed towards Xi’an for four days. We knew we had to see the Terra Cotta Warriors, and we were super excited for a change of pace foodwise. Xi’an is in a section of China that is heavily Muslim, so there would be mosques to see instead of Buddhist temples, and the city has a famous food stall market in the Muslim Quarter that was supposed to be amazing. And it was, although the rest of our time there left us a little less than thrilled. Like I’ve been saying for a month now, we cannot get used to the lack of awareness for other people – the pushing, the walking into others and having no one bat an eye. It’s not like Chinese people are trying to be rude or pushy or anything! It just is. Like we watched a woman on her phone walk straight into another person and neither of them flinched. We are definitely the weird ones here being like WHY ARE YOU PUSHING ME and we will never get used to that!
Aside from that though, I guess we enjoyed our time in Xi’an. To get there, we got on – you know it – another sleeper train. It was PRAISE BUDDHA cleaner and slightly nicer than the last few have been! It was still a K train, so the same style and overall look, but our bags actually fit under the bunks, the sheets weren’t noticeably stained with the residue of Other People, the sink drained into a pipe and not onto the floor, and there was actually soap in there! Also, the strangers we shared with were fine. There was one lady who stayed in the hallway the entire time until sleepytime, and then there was an older couple sitting on the other bottom bunk until the man went to sleep in another room. I was nervous that they were gonna be sharing the bed (as we’ve heard some couples do to skirt buying two tickets) and we’d have 3 adults with us but luckily that wasn’t the case. And luckily, it was the man who left us, because a) it’s always better to room with women (sorry it is true from all these months of train travel), and VERY MUCH BECAUSE b) the man was farting all evening. It was SO BAD! Old man farts! I had to wear my mask it was nauseating. His farts were worse than smoke oh my god it was atrocious. When it was apparent that he was the one leaving us we finally breathed out of our noses and shouted BYE FARTY DON’T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU IN THE ASS OR MORE FARTS MIGHT COME OUT.
Xi’an Train Station
We got to Xi’an and headed to our hostel, the Seetang Youth Hostel. Um, our room didn’t have windows. That’s not good. Well, it did have one piece of wall that opened, but it opened into the hallway, which does not count as a window and also WHO would use that and let strangers look at them in bed? Weirdest. The walls were extremely thin, and we heard all the usual hostel noise – people shouting at all hours, people listening to music at all hours, people stomping about like they are trying to break through the floors. It was loud, is what I’m saying. And people were smoking everywhere! I asked the main staffer if smoking was allowed everywhere and she looked horrified and said no but guess who did nothing about the rampant smoking everywhere, that’s right she and the rest of her staff. Blargh. She also said they had laundry on ‘the fifth floor’ and I spent a long while searching the big building for stairs that led anywhere to a fifth floor but couldn’t find it. We later learned that the fifth floor was actually THE ROOF. I did not do laundry.
why would i photograph that room this is the view from the roof /’fifth floor’
The bed and bathroom were fine at least and relatively clean, so it was overall fine. The turn right before it was a trash alley so that stunk (lolol) to have to walk that every time we came and went. But was good to stay in a place we didn’t want to actually stay in all day I GUESS. So we did more in Xi’an than we did in Chengdu – which also means we were out in the crowds most of the time. By now, we have zero patience left. We’ve been in China for a month, with more to go, and we are soooo done with the pushing and shoving and lack of regard for anyone else’s personal space or even person. A small boy jumped off a ledge and landed ON Z’S LEGS. Like a monkey. Z was like WHAT THE F IS HAPPENING and the boy just ran off like it was nothing. I CANNOT.
the road our hostel was on
We arrived in Xi’an covered in sleeper train residue and ready to eat some good Muslim food. We took a taxi to the hostel (it was easier than navigating the subway or buses in our state), which caused us a great deal of anguish as all taxi rides here have. Every time, the driver either yells at us in Chinese or overcharges us or does some miscellaneous stupidness that we can’t do anything about and it’s so frustrating. But anyway. We got to the Seetang, showered in the windowless room, and went out in search of food. Our hostel was about 10 or 15 minutes walk from a big mall, which is always promising, and we found exactly what we wanted on the top floor – a food court! Now, Chinese mall food courts are unnecessarily complicated affairs. In Bangkok, I remember we had to purchase little credit card type things in advance and put a certain amount of money on them and then go to the different vendors for food and pay with the card. It was a little complicated, but it was clearly laid out and we figured it out. In China, a lot of food courts do similar things as far as prepaying goes, but they make no sense. No signs, no visible station or person selling the cards or even just taking money. It’s all very confusing, and no one is willing to work with us by using nonverbal communication to try to figure it out. NO ONE POINTS. We try to use clearcut hand signals while trying to say Chinese words and 100% of the time Chinese people will just continue to shout at us in Chinese with no attempt at meeting us halfway, or even 10%. Seriously, how do Italians stand being in China? NO one will use their hands. For instance, like with numbers. If we ask if there are 1 or 2 of something, it’s pretty easy to guess what we are getting at using our hands, and very easy to give the correct answer. But instead, they will just say the Chinese word for 1 or 2. Ahhh.
Anyway, I was getting very hangry and had just pointed to some vegetables in the food court and they wouldn’t let me pay because I had to have paid beforehand (not a card thing, just paying a random lady in advance). HOW DO YOU PAY BEFORE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT OR CAN EVEN GET. FFS I hate stupid systems. Luckily someone took money out of my hand and walked to another end of the hall to a random woman behind a counter just like all of them, and then came back with my change and a receipt?? How was I supposed to figure any of that out? Oh China why do you HATE ME.
Luckily, they had easily identifiable bowls of vegetables and I ate them and it was okay in the end.
Little random bowls – a broccoli salad, cabbage in soy, some kind of mashed green with a couscous sort of thing, and a bowl of steamed pumpkin or sweet potato that was TOO MUCH PLAIN but eh whatever, vitamins.
Next door to the food court was a Coco Bubble Tea so I was happy!
The mall of course rewarded our struggles with some nice signage:
LITTLE PRETTY UNDERWEAR
the mall in the middle of everything that has vegetables and bubbles
After eating, we walked around town and saw the Bell Tower and the Drum Tower, the two big sights of the city center that are nicely visible from most of the city center. We visited them both another day (and walked around them 10x every day), and I like that they face each other across a little expanse of crazy busy city, like two pillars in the face of modernity, amid the chaos.
So, the Bell Tower is smack in the center of everything – on like an impenetrable traffic island surrounded by the main roads and separating everything important from each other. Meaning, to cross the main roads in the very center of things (which we did 100x a day), you have to go underground and use this enormous underpass circle of hell. It was always packed and hot and loud and PACKED DID I SAY PACKED and just kind of annoying to have to go up and down, up and down (I will lead them up and down, I am feared in field and town…can’t help it) all the time and around and around. One bend of this circle of hell is the metro station, one is the exit to our favorite little street that led to the Muslim Quarter/Market, and one is the Bell Tower ticket window and entrance, which at all times of day and night had a super long line of tourists waiting to buy tickets. BIGGEST TIP FOR VISITING: Go to the Drum Tower first, because you can buy combined tickets for both towers there, and thus can skip the crazy underground line for the Bell Tower. The crowds inside both actually seemed the same, yet the line at the DrumT was maybe 3 people long, so I guess the ticket sellers and takers at the DrumT are just more efficient than the BellT. We felt like SUCH BADASSES walking past that endless line of Chinese domestic tourists at the BellT and flashing our combined tickets and just strolling right through.
Drum Tower
Both towers date from the 14th century but were renovated or reconstructed in different subsequent centuries. The Bell Tower would ring its bell at dawn, and the Drum Tower would beat out dat rhythm on its drums to mark dusk. Cute. I like the Drum Tower more, maybe because it was coverd with drums, LIKE IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE, while the Bell Tower had ONE MEASLY BELL.
…till you try?
LOVE that they painted the security camera so cute!
The view of the Bell Tower (and Xi’an) from the Drum Tower
The Bell Tower
the one bell
I liked these sites though because they were quick and easy to navigate, leaving ample time for more important things – exploring the Market food and getting sooo many fun drinks. Okay, we will save all that for the end because it’s the best part.
Another day, we took the metro (again, completely identical to every Chinese city’s metro) to the Big Goose Pagoda, also known as the Wild Giant Goose Pagoda, also called (by me) the HEHE GOOSES Pagoda. We went on the hottest day, and it was a 30-40 minute walk from the nearest subway station so it was rough (there’s actually a station literally on its grounds, but google maps didn’t know about it you stupid pos I hate you I HATE YOU). The pagoda is apparently Xi’an’s most famous landmark, which seems like b.s. to me but that’s probably because of the crowd. It was bad, guys. See there’s a lot of shit happening at this pagoda. First of all, it’s another of those double ticket ordeals – you buy a ticket to the grounds and then find out it doesn’t include the pagoda. When you walk a little more, there’s another ticket office for the pagoda itself. i hate that b.s. No one is entering these little bits of grounds and not going to the pagoda. It puts me in a horrid mood. Anyway, fine, two tickets needed, got it. But no. In all of China, there’s been preeeeetty decent set ups for tourist sites with stairs specifically for going up and then another set for going down, to help the crowd flow. Even at the Bell and Drum Towers they had this. But the Pagoda was the first place I can remember that not only didn’t, but only had one teeny tiny thin winding stairway AND didn’t control the flow of guests. So we climbed up seven floors with the worst of humanity. There were children pushing through legs with their parents doing nothing to stop them; men pushing you from behind to what, make you go faster?; and overall just horribly behaved people. It was terrifying and terrible, trying to climb these stairs. It was also very hot, 98 degrees outside, and at least 15 degrees hotter in this unventilated narrow building. As you may have guessed, it was not my favorite visit.
I liked that the pagoda, from the 7th century, is situated among all these modern office buildings, but you can see that from outside. Inside the only benefit was exercise. There was nothing else going for it.
A site we absolutely loved was the Great Mosque, hidden behind the crazy busy Muslim Quarter’s Market. It’s very centrally located and yet provides a drastic change to the chaos outside its walls – it provides calm and peace. It’s a beautiful mosque, mixing Islamic traditions with Chinese architecture to make a very interesting and pleasant space. The Muslims working there and praying there made us feel very welcome, smiling at us and shaking Z’s hand. It was a necessary respite from the craziness of the city and was really beautiful. It felt nice to visit this sacred spot before eating ALL OF THEIR FOOD outside in the market.
And, before we get to that part, we of course have to talk about the #1 thing to do in Xi’an – visit the Army of Terra Cotta Warriors. You know these guys, you’ve seen pictures. Honestly, the pictures are better. The TCW is the biggest shitshow in all of China. Everything else that I’ve said is ‘so crowded and so pushy and so demoralizing’ PALES in comparison to this situation (except the Big Goose Pagoda in the height of summer; that was indeed shit). People push and walk into you with no regard for any of your space even between your toes just RAM right into you no matter where you are.
Anyway. To get there, we walked 45 minutes to the train station to get a bus for 8 yuan that goes to the site. Even though the bus has ‘terra cotta warriors’ painted on the side, it still made some stops along the way. The book and the lady who directed us onboard said it just took an hour but because of the stops and stuff it was closer to an hour and a half. Okay, fine. But noooo. This POS bus driver dropped us down the road from the entrance, and across the street. And not some suburban little road either, oh no, it was a highway. That we had to walk along and cross. WTF, STUPID F-ING BUS. I’m still livid at them. Other buses were clearly dropping off at the entrance. We crossed with the rest of the passengers for safety in numbers but it was still ridiculous and terrifying. Finally we go inside, and we can’t find any signs for ticket office. We see endless rows of stalls and kiosks selling food and crappy crap and drinks and lanterns and string and stuff and NO TICKET OFFICE. We walked for more than 20 minutes and finally saw a sign for the ticket office. Inside that building was a long line, and tickets cost 150 yuan, around $23 each. After you exit with tickets, you walk ANOTHER 20 minutes through a maze and a park to the actual site. By this point we had cursed more than we ever had in our lives. There are several buildings on the grounds – all poorly signed, of course, and nothing in English. We figured out from a map which buildings were Pits 1, 2, and 3, the main things to see. This of course after we went in a building that was a worthless small museum. Most people do the pits in order, but DON’T. It will make everything even worse. We did 2-3-1 and I recommend that, or do 3-2-1, but whatever you do, save Pit 1 for last. It’s the only one that’s actually cool. Pit 2 is the most boring, with most of it just surrounding an excavation site that is mostly sand with nothing to show for it really. Pit 3 is slightly less boring, with a few things actually visible. Pit 3 seems to be the army headquarters, and many of the greatest warrior finds are army officers, generals and such, who are encased in glass around the perimeter. Pit 1 is where the real Army is. Pit 1 is the best, but it is the pits in terms of crowds and pushing. I’m sorry I’m such a broken record so here are pictures.
Pit 1
Pit 2
Pit 3 at least I think
It was definitely the right choice to do it in this order, to be able to end on a high note. Well, on a Middle C, considering how…underwhelming it all is. The warriors are scattered in different pits and rarely can you catch a glimpse through the throngs of people where they actually look as cool as they do in pictures. Okay, don’t get me wrong, I sound ridiculous, I know. It is a VERY AWESOME architectural site, it’s just that it has been hyped beyond what it actually is. If you haven’t seen pictures taken from just the perfect spot to make it look like it goes on forever with intricate statues, then you will be impressed. Or, hey, if you just DON’T GO IN THE SUMMER, you’ll have a better experience (honestly if you go any place in China NOT in summer, you’ll have a better experience than I did in said place).
There aren’t really signs explaining what’s even going on – I didn’t see any in Chinese either, but people could have been blocking them – so I learned from our guidebook. The Warriors are more than 2000 years old, and there are thousands of them, still being excavated. They stand as guardians to the tomb of Qin Shi Huang (his actual tomb is illegal to visit), China’s first unifier. They were only discovered in the 1970s, which must have turned the world upside down.
I know you are probably shaking your head at me like ‘girl do you just complain about everything, this site is amazing’ and it really is, it’s just that a) if it wasn’t hyped to high heaven it would have been more enjoyable and really b) if we didn’t have to fight tooth and nail to get a look at any of it, I’m sure we would have loved it. CHINA IN SUMMER IS NO JOKE. There’s a reason they tell westerners not to go now. OH OH AND C) if the grounds were designed as a labyrinth meant to claim 90% of visitors as victims to its non-navigable twist and turns and impasses and OMG JUST HAVE SIGNS AND NOT AN HOUR OF BULLSHIT TO GET TO THE TICKETS.
Getting back to town was even worse.
There were no signs ANYWHERE for buses. We walked for ages through a maze of parking lots and random buildings and kiosks – still on the grounds – before we found signs for buses. They went to Xi’an North Station, which is quite far from the downtown and isn’t the main station. All we finally saw for the main station – for getting freaking to the city from this huge site – was a hand-written piece of printer paper taped to a pole that said ‘Xi’an Station’. So we followed the arrow drawn on it to the street and found a lady who said ‘Xi’an?’ We said yes and she dragged us onto a PACKED bus, with no seats. We said nah we will wait for the next one. Then that bus pulled ahead and stopped a bit farther along the curb, and she yelled go go go! and forced us to get on the same exact bus! The three of us were in the aisle trying to figure out if maybe there were seats and then before we could get off because there weren’t, it was too late! Ahhh we were freaking out. The crazy lady – who was ALSO onboard now – starting pulling random kids out of seats and putting them elsewhere, like putting 3 kids in 2 seats, to make seats for us. And we couldn’t tell her to stop so it was just soo embarrassing. And then it cost 10 yuan instead of 8! I was so mad about it all but then it got us back faster than the bus there so whatever. Oh what a mess EVERYTHING we try to do here is!
OK. FOOD TIME.
This is where I LOVED Xi’an. We went to a few restaurants but mostly ate at the Muslim Quarter market, which was sooo much fun. First, I’ll share the good food we had at Ding Ding Xiang restaurant, a recommendation from our guide book that had good food. A man started smoking and we complained to a waitress, and instead of stopping it, she brought him a bowl to use as an ashtray. Oh ffs, China. We moved upstairs (so many restaurants have so many empty floors) and they protested no don’t go up there! but we were like, we’re either sitting away from the man you’re allowing to smoke in here or we are leaving. So they relented and luckily the food was good. I couldn’t walk away from a place that actually had vegetables! So hard to find in these parts.
From above, we had sauteed sesame spinach, sword beans and roasted eggplant, and cabbage with tofu. All of it was so good! There was a lot of food too, so we brought leftovers back to the hostel fridge for the next day (which was a travel day, so this was necessary). Unfortunately, the shitty Seetang staff didn’t know how to open the room with the fridge when we left the next morning so we lost our leftovers. SO SAD. God customer service here is abysmal. But the food is good!
I also found good vegetables at what we think was Muslim Family Restaurant, part of the Muslim Quarter but a sit-down place instead of only stalls on the street. (They had a kebab counter out front as part of that.) They had a salad bar type set up of veggie dishes, and it was a little hard at first to communicate that that’s all I wanted, and then we learned to ask them for ‘side dishes’ and it was clear! I just pointed to which of the 8 or so dishes I wanted on my plate and it cost like 15 yuan. It was all fine and I went several times to find veggies because there were none in the market.
And then we went to the Muslim Quarter market literally every day at least once, for breakfast fruit and fresh juices, for fun tofu and potato things and endless noodles, and for dessert and incredible fresh coconut milk at night. I’m gonna share a lot of pictures now of everything amazing we ate.
One thing you can count on finding every few seconds is a potato-based stall and a tofu-based stall. I had 3 different amazing kinds of street tofu and they were all excellent, and they all cost 10 yuan each (like $1.50?) for a big cup of it. We also really enjoyed these street potatoes – they were super hot and super spicy but really incredible.
this tofu was one of the spiciest things I’ve ever eaten
that is, until I ate this tofu
…and then this one
The market is also a world-class location for eating carbs. We had noodles! We had bread! Then we had more noodles! And more bread! Luckily, Xi’an famous noodle dishes are often just the sesame noodle variety, so they will be vegan. The noodle stalls that will add meat are easy to clearly see since you watch everyone make your food.
good cheap bread!
But my favorite part had to be all the incredible fresh fruit and the juices juiced from them. Oh man, the fruit in China has been amazing and the market was overflowing with it. I especially loved the cup of fresh jackfruit! In the mad takeover of the cooked-jackfruit-tastes-like-pulled-pork discovery in the vegan world, I’d forgotten that the fruit itself is so good. And pomegranates! Sooo much pomegranate abounded everywhere we looked it was glorrrrious.
The watermelon is sooo good out here! And this fruit in the cup looked like cherries but tasted like grapes so we called them chapes
For the first time, there were actually vegan options for dessert! First up is this glutinous rice patty on a stick that is dipped in tamarind paste and/or other jams (there’s an assortment if you want to dip) and crushed nuts. Pretty good! Although it is kind of bland in the center (it’s a lot of rice!) so I recommend covering it in as much crap as possible. There’s a lot of glutinous rice stuff around, including a big yellow cake-looking thing that is cut into slices – these are literally every 5 seconds around the city center. Fortunately, it’s just more glutinous rice with a slight covering of slightly sweet osmanthus paste (that’s a fruit? I think? that is huge here?), so it is vegan, but unfortunately, it’s just a big slab of unsweetened glutinous rice so is not at all worth it.
Next is the thing I’m prettttty sure is vegan – the persimmon donuts. We showed one of the ladies making them the words for ‘egg’ and ‘milk’ and asked if they were in them, and she shook her head no, and clearly understood, so I am kiiiind of confident that that was the truth. The ones pictured at the pretty stall below are the best ones, with three different fillings – a tamarindish one, a peanutty one, and a maybe jaggery? Who even knows. The consistency is very much like mashed sweet potato, not a bread-y donut, which made me feel better about the possibility of it being vegan. They were really good, especially hot, and especially if you get a lot of the filling in yours.
But maybe the very best thing in the whole market is the fresh coconut milk. Erma p, it was SOOO DELICIOUS! More delicious than the So Delicious brand! Oh man I wish I could get one now.
Honestly the food in Xi’an was the best part of our time in the city! I really had no idea until Jojo at veganinbrighton told me! I’d been worrying about finding anything at all and she was like, um, dude. I never would have thought the food would be so fun and the thing I was most excited for – the Terra Cotta Warriors – would be simply good and not amazing.
I leave you, as usual, with amazingly ridiculous things we saw around Xi’an, including restaurant names, song lyrics as a store name, and the weirdest thing in any Apple store ever in the history of the world.
