Dunhuang, China: The Mogao Caves and the Start of Our Silk Road Journeyby Randi / September 12, 2017
Our next stop on our Silk Road journey was the city of Turpan (the English name) in the Xinjiang region of China. It’s also known as Turfan and Tulufan (in Uighur and Chinese) while I, on the other hand, refer to it as Turpan Alley, because it is a bit of a hole. Turpan was a fertile little oasis town back in the day, and today (and probably back then too) is known as “China’s Death Valley” because it’s one of the few places below sea level and also because IT’S DUCKING HOT AS BALLS. It’s so hot and sunny and dry that walking around the city would have been uncomfortable even if it wasn’t a bit of a hole. Apparently, the Chinese like to say that Turpan is farther from the ocean than any other place in the world, which I don’t doubt but that is a chitty thing to brag about. (I hate feeling landlocked! I love being near water! This trip is difficult for me.) The best part about Turpan (and Xinjiang) is that this climate grows some insane delicious watermelon.
Turpan was an important Silk Road stop because desert traders in desperate need of fresh water love them some temperatures hotter than at any other point in their desert struggles? is that why? Or maybe because of the watermelon. Actually, Turpan had an impressive system of irrigation that I’m sure increased its draw to caravan-peeps seeking water. They brought fresh water down from the snowy Tien Shan mountains, which is the name of the brand of bottled water that we found most in Xinjiang and then in Kyrgyzstan so hooray for longstanding traditions. Archaeological sites in the Turpan Depression (the fitting name for the whole region, although they mean because it’s so low in the earth and not because of what it does to you) uncovered important old stuff from many centuries ago that helped researchers understand the goings-on of traders and others passing through. In fact, Turpan was the site of important discoveries of certain specific goods. Silver coins were big here – in fact, the plethora of silver coins found here helped prove that China’s main trading partner along the Silk Route was not Rome, as many romantic history buffs (are there such a thing) would like to think, but the Iranian world, because zero coins from the Roman Republic were ever found anywhere in China. I knowww. Zilch. Anywhere. You’d think even once drunk on a dare a trader would try to go to Rome. But then I guess they wouldn’t return. Or they just didn’t have enough time in their lives to go there AND back. They were walking, people! Turpan was also big on burying their dead in paper outfits they made in craft sessions, I imagine, like an ancient version of stitch-and-bitch. A lot of boring but informative documents – contracts, meeting notes, whatever – were pieced together to make clothes for corpses. You might be thinking, no way no how corpses were preserved let alone regular old paper that could actually be read! But yeah, that’s how dry Turpan is, that lots of paper and lots of corpses were preserved with no effort on their part other than to Be In The Driest Hottest Land Ever. (We saw some of those corpses in the Urumqi Museum (coming next). I am very much done with such things.) Today, the important things to see include the Emin Minaret, which is impossible to find in the maze of little backstreets, and the ancient ruins of Jiaohe.
The big other draws in the city are the Bazaar and the Night Market – both of which were nowhere to be found during our visit! This is a good time to tell you about the Xinjiang region of China, an autonomous territory in northwest China where these Silk Road sites lie. Being all autonomous, Xinjiang has a separatist movement with its native Uighur people trying to become their own state (that’s what that means) of East Turkestan which is a cute name. China of course wants to quash that but good, and has been kind of sending Han Chinese people into Xinjiang to balance out the population – or dilute the local culture and traditions. It’s all very tense and uneasy. All the Chinese train stations had crazy security, but it’s enhanced beyond anything I’ve ever seen before in Xinjiang. Police are everywhere. In Turpan, there was a police building on every single block – I am not exaggerating – with at least 5 policemen patrolling outside. They say it’s because of terror threats from the local Uighur people, who are mostly Muslim and who look completely different from the Han Chinese. It seemed a little like a control method to keep them down. Throughout the region, we saw average Uighur locals stopped by police to have their phones examined, which is police state bullshit. They are definitely treated like second class citizens in their own land, which is like Indigenous People 101.
All of this to say, we think that maybe the Bazaar and the Night Market – two very crowded very public gatherings, the kind that are difficult to police in excruciating detail – were shut down due to ‘safety precautions’ but possibly as a way to continue curbing the goings on of the Uighurs and take away their traditions and culture. However, Turpan is one of the more Chinese-friendly of the Xinjiang cities; the officials are friendlier towards the locals and it’s more easygoing, if you can believe it with police on every inch of ground. (Kashgar, for instance, is considered more of a problem and the government is a lot more hostile there towards the Uighurs. (Kashgar, incidently, was my favorite part of Xinjiang, but we will get there.)) But then again, I haven’t been able to find anything about these events being permanently closed, so maybe we just happened to be there on a bad day. It sucks that we couldn’t find these two fun events, and I really hope that we just couldn’t find them, because it obviously would be much, much worse to be right that the Chinese government just up and decided to clamp down on the locals doing their thing.
Part of Jiaohe…sort of…we passed a little village on our walk from the visitor centre to the ruins that I think was a separate ticket but we just went in
This guy stands watch outside the Jiaohe ruins
So, let’s talk about what we actually did do. From Dunhuang, we had to drive two hours (inexpensive taxi that we had the Silk Road Yododo inn hire, which was annoyingly difficult but easier than it would have been to deal with getting one ourselves as we keep learning) to the Liuyuan Train Station to get a fast train to Turpan. The security at Liuyuan was our first real look at the Xinjiang craziness. There were dozens – dozens! – of police and security officials, and it was not a big station at all. They found our camping utensils – a magnetic set of a fork, spoon, and baby-sized knife – plus our Swiss Army knife, and were not pleased. You CANNOT get on trains in Xinjiang with anything weapony, including all sizes of knives and scissors. We learned this at this point. I think our foreign privilege gave us a pass and instead of confiscating them, security officials taped up all the knives so we can’t get into them (not without another knife, lol) but let us keep them, and they made us sign a book with our passport numbers given. I guess in case there was report of a crime committed with a tiny little camping knife, they would have our info.
View from the train station, outside the city center. This is as modern as it gets
The train to Turpan was only 4 hours, which is absolutely nothing to us now, and then we got a taxi to our hostel, called Dap Hostel – like giving dap? Hilarious. The hostel was a legit travelers’/backpackers’ land, with tons of dirty yoots smoking and drinking at all hours in an inner courtyard that all the rooms encircle so you have no choice but to listen and smell it all. I did not like this place. The staff was very stupid and the bathrooms were gross. There was one trench sink, like 4 feet long, with one drain and three faucets and everyone would stand cramped together to brush their teeth and spit together and it was harrowing. The service was bad. Z asked for a coffee one morning (they have a chalkboard coffee menu at reception) and one girl said okay. No one brought any coffee. We asked a different girl. She said okay. No coffee. We asked a third. Then we asked the original girl and she said ‘you didn’t get it?’ It took over a half hour for someone to pour Z a cup of coffee from an already made pot. Then we asked if they could call a taxi for us on our last morning to the train station. Two staff members spoke in Chinese to each other for 10 minutes before turning to us and saying, “There’s a bus that goes.” Thank you. You’ve been helpful. If we wanted to take the bus, we would take the bus. And actually, it’s not a direct bus, you have to switch buses, which is bullshit to do when a taxi would be cheap and easier, and also, you are a travelers’ hostel you should know how to call a taxi when it’s the main way of getting around your city.
Who knows if Turpan ever stood a chance with me, because if I hate where I’m sleeping, it’s hard for me to loosen up enough to accept anything. As for the aforementioned sights that actually did exist, let’s start with the Emin Minaret. We walked around the dusty heat of small residential streets trying to find the mosque for almost an hour, and it was supremely difficult. There are few signs, and they are incomplete, leaving you in view of the minaret but with no evident way of actually reaching it. We both said we’d never been so close to a destination – seemingly so close you could touch it – and yet so far – seeing no clear way of actually reaching it. In the end, we had to ask three different random people in the area how to navigate the maze of their homes. One teenager on a bike, one ancient woman on her front stoop, and one shepherd who was, well, herding some sheep. We finally found the back entrance of the complex once we had finished all our water and we quickly bought up some bottles of clear liquid from a chest on the site. We assumed it was cold water. It was cream soda. (Say it with me: FFS CHINA!)
The Emin Minaret stands tall as the defining monument in central Turpan, blending Uighur architecture and history with Islamic traditions. It’s made of wood and brick and is pretty cool considering how it looks nothing like China. There are very few Muslim buildings in China, almost all of which are in Xinjiang, so it’s rare and interesting to see the mixture of Chinese and Islamic art or architecture. A guard let us look inside the basic mosque and we just walked around for a little. There’s a toilet, so that’s good.
screaming from the minaretssss
Now onto the Jiaohe ruins
The big thing to see when in Turpan is the Jiaohe Ruins, about 10 kilometers outside the city. We shared a taxi with a rando from the hostel and usually they charge a flat rate to Jiaohe but this driver just used the meter and it was cheaper so score. Jiaohe is an archaeological site and used to be an important place along the Silk Road, including at one time being the seat of the Protector General of the Western Regions, which is the highest ranking military post of Chinese officials stationed in the west. Jiaohe was a city full of residential districts, temples, stupas, and of course government offices. All the ruins now look the same since it is, in fact, in ruins, and the site is a vast expanse of white dusty broken rocks. Walking around the ruins for hours was the hottest I have ever felt, well, until later in our trip. Our skin was melting. The sun was like a few inches above my head, it seemed. As the cherry on top of this sundae of discomfort and frustration, the toilet on the grounds was padlocked and there are no staff members anywhere near the actual ruins, only at the visitor centre and ticket office which is 3 kilometers down the road. I know. Say it with me.
*shakes fist at an entire country over this*
When we bought tickets at said visitor centre, they didn’t tell us that everyone should take the shuttle bus around that costs 30 yuan extra. We were like, we can walk, we don’t need to pay for the extra bus. The woman selling tickets should have said, well actually everyone takes the bus it is dumb not to. ACTUALLY, they should just add the cost of the bus to the ticket price and be done with being stupid, because there are no signs on the road for how the F to get there. So we were on this deserted winding road like, where do we actually go? We walked down where we saw shuttle buses going and it was three kilometers away in the sun and heat and oh my goddd. For the biggest site in the area, not having any signage is pretty ridiculous. Ugh but why would they ever have signs for pedestrians at any site, right? We already learned this! Anyway, we finally found it, and it was hot. It was fine, for an archaelogical site, but without enough descriptive signs (not just not in English, but like, none) it was hard to care.
The best part of walking, though, was some fortuitous happenings at the end of our visit. On the walk back, we were so hot and so dehydrated that we were really craving some of that famous watermelon. Across from the exit/entrance to return to the visitor center was this lovely little path covered with a trellis with what looked like a restaurant underneath. An old Uighur couple was sitting on carpets on the floor, and we peeked in and saw some watermelons under a big table. So we went up and pointed and communicated that we would like some watermelon. The lady was super friendly and picked a giant one up and weighed it and then was just going to sell us a whole damn watermelon, and we were like no no we want to eat it now, like sitting here, and also we don’t have knives they taped up our knives and she understood and took it in the back to cut up and motioned for us to sit at the table. And then we realized, oh shit, she’s gonna bring us like an ENTIRE watermelon cut up and not just a few pieces like we want. Lo and behold, a few minutes later she came out with a silver platter stacked with an entire sliced watermelon, plus several bunches of grapes. I’ve been talking a lot about how good the watermelon is, but Turpan is actually famous throughout China and the stans for having incredible grapes and thus incredible raisins. I know, raisins, they’re the worst, but no the raisins in Turpan are delicious, as are the grapes, and here we were being given soo many grapes! It was so lovely and kind. We were cracking up at how much watermelon we were housing. It was probably the best watermelon I’ve ever had. And the grapes were amazing. Everything was. When we really could not force any more into our bodies, the lady took the platter away and then came back with all the rest of the watermelon AND the grapes packed in a plastic bag for us to take away. NICEST PEOPLE IN ALL OF CHINA! We stood up and went over to them to pay and they both waved our wallets away and shook their heads. We were like what, come on, are you kidding me? And they would not accept any money. We felt really bad – we ate your fruit guys! – but they really were vehemently against us paying. It was the nicest encounter in all of China. Probably this entire summer actually.
best ever
Aside from that lovely experience, it was hard to find food in Turpan. And not just for me finding vegan food! Just finding food, period! Like for Z too! One night we lucked out and finally found this great Han Chinese restaurant with a picture menu that had tofu and vegetables and ALSO had purple velour booths with the chintziest chandeliers you’ve ever seen. It was inexpensive and really good food but it took way too long for it to arrive. The homestyle tofu was great. We also finally got to try the weird jelly noodle dish that’s all over China. It’s a weird texture but it was done well here – SO incredibly spicy! And hooray for veggies! The waitress also recommended that we get these crunchy fried tomato sticks and we were like, wow sure that sounds really interesting! Too interesting – she meant potato. Lol. They were actually good, like french fries but with a little bit of a sweet exterior too, but we would probably not have gotten them if we knew they were potatoes! Fried tomato sticks sound good, right? Or gross? Make them and let me know.
So I have no idea what this restaurant was called, I’m sorry, but if you go to Turpan and ask the people where you are staying about the purple velvet booths I bet they know it. We had enough leftovers to eat for lunch the next day (no one stole them from the hostel fridge!). It seems I forgot to take a pic of the potato sticks, oh no, but just imagine fries with like, seeds?
yes the couch is studded with huge faux diamonds
HELLO LOVER
spicy weird jelly
tofu in China, I mean, does it get better
We should have returned there the next night, but instead we tried to find John’s Information Cafe in the backyard of the Turpan Hotel which according to our guidebook was a great place for backpackers with decent food. John’s no longer exists. In its place, literally in the backyard of this hotel, is a kebab grilling joint where you point to kebabs and they grill them so everything tastes the same and you reek of smoke for days. It was not my favorite place. I pointed to sticks of vegetables and what they said was tofu/doufu but it did not have the texture of anything resembling tofu so I didn’t trust it and couldn’t eat it. The texture was just so wrong. Shame.
The best part of Turpan, aside from the watermelon couple, was the bread babushka in the alley outside our hostel. She had a stand with the BEST breads I’ve had since my St. Petersburg babushka. Unfortunately, she wasn’t out the day we left. Shame. Also I forgot to take a picture of her cart. Shame. Here is a picture of the rival bread man across the alley from her and much inferior.
this guy said his dumpling-y things were vegetarian. they were not.
So, Turpan Alley. That’s really all I have to say about that. Some interesting sights but I didn’t learn as much about the Silk Road as I did in Dunhuang or our later Silk Road sites (or as much I learned about Turpan from my books, which like…come on you should learn more at the actual site right! Otherwise people will never leave their couches! Ohh…couch…I miss you…). There are so many incredible places in China, lots we saw and lots we have still on our list, that I think this is really for Silk Road aficionados and not novices like me. I can recommend street bread and eating all the watermelon and grapes. Shout out to our watermelon friends.
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New Orleans Food Guide: If You’re Not Eating 24/7, You’re Doing It Wrong
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When I was in sixth grade, we sang this ridiculous song in chorus about New Orleans. I don’t remember what it was called or who wrote it, but I remember the words because they were all about food, with the most fun-sounding, exotic-to-young-me names. For more than 15 years, I’ve remembered those words and stored them for whenever I finally got to New Orleans, so I would be sure to eat the proper dishes. The song went:
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Jambalaya and a crawfish pie and file’ gumbo
Cause tonight I’m gonna see ma cher amio (pronounced ah-MY-oh)
Pick guitar, fill fruit jar, and be fine-o,
Son of a gun we’ll have big fun on the bayou.
Cause tonight I’m gonna see ma cher amio (pronounced ah-MY-oh)
Pick guitar, fill fruit jar, and be fine-o,
Son of a gun we’ll have big fun on the bayou.
And then at the end you repeated “son of a gun, we’ll have big fun, son of a gun, we’ll have big fun, son of a gun we’ll have big funnn onnn theeee bayouuuuuu” and I swore ONE DAY I would have big fun on the bayou and eat that file’ gumbo and fill my fruit jar and you know what buster? I did.
Seitan gumbo at Seed. It’s not my fault the bowl is messy.
As soon as we landed in New Orleans, we were starving. I don’t use that word lightly because there are actually people starving in the world and also because every time I say it I imagine Louis CK saying “I’m starving” in his voice of mockery (“I’m literally starving. It’s so annoying” oh my god I love it). We immediately began our journey through the many places on the NOLA List Of Dreams that I cobbled together from Melissa Bastian’s NOLAinGreen blog and from Queen Kittee Bee Berns‘ recommendations.
13 BAR
Our first stop was 13 Bar, in the Marigny, which is the neighborhood just northeast of the French Quarter. This low-key joint would be one of my favorite local places if it was in Philly or London. It was so casual and had a nice vibe. More importantly, it had several vegan options on the menu, including totchos (tater tot nachos)! I of course ordered the tofu bahn mi because that’s my favorite sandwich in the world. It was so delicious! The tofu was spiced and pressed into perfect little dense squares, and it had a good amount of shredded carrots, jalapenos, and cilantro. I could always use more but this veggie showing was more impressive than most other purveyors. I would have added some shredded lettuce or even jicama to add just a little freshness (all the vegetables were warm from the grilling). The bread was a little too chewy but the fillings made up for it.
Our first stop was 13 Bar, in the Marigny, which is the neighborhood just northeast of the French Quarter. This low-key joint would be one of my favorite local places if it was in Philly or London. It was so casual and had a nice vibe. More importantly, it had several vegan options on the menu, including totchos (tater tot nachos)! I of course ordered the tofu bahn mi because that’s my favorite sandwich in the world. It was so delicious! The tofu was spiced and pressed into perfect little dense squares, and it had a good amount of shredded carrots, jalapenos, and cilantro. I could always use more but this veggie showing was more impressive than most other purveyors. I would have added some shredded lettuce or even jicama to add just a little freshness (all the vegetables were warm from the grilling). The bread was a little too chewy but the fillings made up for it.
We also tried their red beans and rice, a New Orleans staple dish that quickly became one of my favorites and something I can’t wait to recreate. 13’s version was decent, creamy and comforting if a little bland. The service was fast, the bartender was nice, and they had a pretty clean bathroom. Win.
We didn’t get totchos, which in hindsight was the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. |
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COOP’S
We went to Coop’s, a famous old pub-ish place packed with locals, so husband could have their famous jambalaya, and we had our first fried shit of the week, the fried okra. Oh man. Fried okra might be my favorite fried thing ever! I don’t have pictures because Coop’s is dark and the people were kind of glaring at me?
We went to Coop’s, a famous old pub-ish place packed with locals, so husband could have their famous jambalaya, and we had our first fried shit of the week, the fried okra. Oh man. Fried okra might be my favorite fried thing ever! I don’t have pictures because Coop’s is dark and the people were kind of glaring at me?
SUPERFOOD BAR
On our second day, I patiently sat as my husband and his good friend who lives in NOLA ate supposedly the best fried chicken in the world. How good am I? What’s that, I deserve presents? Well I had a more than lovely reward afterwards, when they drove me to get my favorite type of food at Superfood Bar on Magazine Street.
On our second day, I patiently sat as my husband and his good friend who lives in NOLA ate supposedly the best fried chicken in the world. How good am I? What’s that, I deserve presents? Well I had a more than lovely reward afterwards, when they drove me to get my favorite type of food at Superfood Bar on Magazine Street.
This is the best picture I’ve ever taken you’re welcome |
Viet Wrap I had some doubts about a place called Superfood Bar. I love things that profess to be super foods and raw and super healthy and what not, but I always wonder whether such a place would be too raw and too grassy even for me. But for the most part I loved my food!
It was a cute little spot that reminded me of Blossom du Jour in NYC, but with slightly better seating, cheaper prices, and a bathroom, praise the lord. I got a green smoothie of course, because I hadn’t had one for more than 24 hours and I wasn’t sure what would happen to me if I waited any longer. It was a decent smoothie, full of greens, but I asked to add some Grassy Green or some such powder that made it taste primarily of that. Not bad though! |
Kimchi salad
So that was breakfast, and then 6 minutes later I had a wonderful lunch of the Kimchi Salad and the Viet Wrap. The salad was a bit bland, but luckily the wrap came with an extra side of sauce that I shared with it. The wrap though was SO good! It was in a gluten-free brown rice wrap, and as I’ve learned (and learned to love), when you grill a brown rice wrap, they get kind of hard and surprisingly crispy instead of just hot. Well I love it. The wrap comprised a spicy red bean and rice patty, paying homage to the famous dish of NOLA, along with pickled vegetables like carrots, lots of cilantro, not enough greens but I drank those, a sunflower cream and a spicy mango sauce. Oh man I could eat healthy wraps like this every day. Nothing makes super healthy food like putting it in a warm wrap.
RAW REVOLUTION
After I was sufficiently (insanely) fed at my new fave place Superfood Bar, we wandered around the area of Magazine Street, which is a somewhat more upscale and modern shopping area, at least the stretch we wandered. Just a few blocks down from Superfood Bar was Raw Revolution, which was also on my list for lunch. I can never thank the universe enough for making me choose Superfood Bar first, because, in contrast to the few things I could find online, Raw Revolution does not have food. It has a fridge of bottled juices, yes, and some ginger and lemon shots, and some packaged raw date balls (that were actually delicious, but made on Martha’s Vineyard?) and kale chips, but it doesn’t have food. It was mostly pills and products for cleanses (and not the good taco kind) and stuff like that. It was a disappointment. I don’t know how they pay the rent for the large, mostly wasted space, unless people in New Orleans like to spend a lot of money on diet pills and shite like that. (And then I bought a juice for later and it was over $10 and realized oh that’s how they pay the rent, gauging. It was a decent extremely green juice but dayum, this isn’t NYC.)
After I was sufficiently (insanely) fed at my new fave place Superfood Bar, we wandered around the area of Magazine Street, which is a somewhat more upscale and modern shopping area, at least the stretch we wandered. Just a few blocks down from Superfood Bar was Raw Revolution, which was also on my list for lunch. I can never thank the universe enough for making me choose Superfood Bar first, because, in contrast to the few things I could find online, Raw Revolution does not have food. It has a fridge of bottled juices, yes, and some ginger and lemon shots, and some packaged raw date balls (that were actually delicious, but made on Martha’s Vineyard?) and kale chips, but it doesn’t have food. It was mostly pills and products for cleanses (and not the good taco kind) and stuff like that. It was a disappointment. I don’t know how they pay the rent for the large, mostly wasted space, unless people in New Orleans like to spend a lot of money on diet pills and shite like that. (And then I bought a juice for later and it was over $10 and realized oh that’s how they pay the rent, gauging. It was a decent extremely green juice but dayum, this isn’t NYC.)
Our favorite thing to do is walk around new cities, so we walked maybe 45 minutes and were rewarded by the universe with this Mecca:
Damn right we’re taking a detour |
I want a dispenser of various bulk liquids at my Whole Foods! |
A GIANT WHOLE FOODS! Oh man, I love seeing what Whole Foodses in other cities have for sale. This one had so many more flavors of Justin’s Nut Butter than I’ve ever seen. If you haven’t had the vanilla almond butter, I suggest you find it immediately. Amazing! We also picked up a slice of vegan carrot cake that promptly melted (still good) .
HANSEN’S SNO-BLIZ
Then, because this trip was mostly about being gluttonous, we walked to the very famous and very old school Hansen’s Sno-Bliz, the greatest snow-cone-type concoction in the world. Listen, I’m from Philly, the land of waterice. I love all the old school waterice places all over the Philly area, but this place is different and ridiculously good. They pour their fancy syrups over the shaved ice, like snow cones, but then they put it in a machine that like poufs and fluffs the ice and then drops clouds of snowier ice on top. And the flavors are so much more subtle and elevated and fancy than traditional waterice.
Then, because this trip was mostly about being gluttonous, we walked to the very famous and very old school Hansen’s Sno-Bliz, the greatest snow-cone-type concoction in the world. Listen, I’m from Philly, the land of waterice. I love all the old school waterice places all over the Philly area, but this place is different and ridiculously good. They pour their fancy syrups over the shaved ice, like snow cones, but then they put it in a machine that like poufs and fluffs the ice and then drops clouds of snowier ice on top. And the flavors are so much more subtle and elevated and fancy than traditional waterice.
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Look how it got fluffed! 
The majestic, mysterious cucumber. |
That first day I had half cucumber and half ginger. Yes, that’s right, CUCUMBER. And it was the best water ice-y thing I have ever, ever had. It was perfect, light and refreshing and a tiny bit sweet and it was somehow exactly like cucumber. Later, I tried cardamom which was spectacular, chocolate which was wonderful but comparable to Rita’s, and spearmint, which was somehow not mouthwashy. They also do cream flavors that my husband reported being amazing (especially the cream of root beer and cream of almond together) and that I will create later this week! I really want to try recreating the cucumber but my efforts would be disgusting I imagine.
MEALS FROM THE HEART CAFE
In the heart of the French Market, which is full of various vendors’ stalls of mostly food, stands the vegan-friendly Meals from the Heart café. I only got to try the vegan shake, which was very good despite not having any vegetables!
They also have Portobello sandwiches and other various vegan-friendly foods that I would love to try when I return. The extremely friendly manager/owner gave us fresh orange slices while we waited, and he talked about how his family started eating more vegan foods and solved tons of their health problems that they picked up from traditional New Orleans cuisine. Yay for people eating more vegan food, even if it’s for health reasons!
They also have Portobello sandwiches and other various vegan-friendly foods that I would love to try when I return. The extremely friendly manager/owner gave us fresh orange slices while we waited, and he talked about how his family started eating more vegan foods and solved tons of their health problems that they picked up from traditional New Orleans cuisine. Yay for people eating more vegan food, even if it’s for health reasons!
DREAMY WEENIES
Oh man, one of our absolute favorites was Dreamy Weenies – or, as we refer to it because it’s better this way, Weiner Dreams. So, this popular hot dog place has 5 vegan dog options!! I wanted to try the falafel dog, but I always have falafel, so I got the vegan andouille. So crazy meat-like ahh! I got it ‘Genchili’ style, which is topped with house-made vegan chili and Creole mix (celery, onion, peppers). With ketchup and mustard on top it was very tasty. It was seriously outmatched, however, by the red beans & rice, which we got as a side. Oh my goodness, these were the best red beans & rice either of us had in New Orleans! So crazy! The person who took our order also said that all of the sides are vegan. Amazing! So, you definitely have to go here and get a fun dog but BE SURE to get the red beans & rice all the time. I wish I knew how good they were earlier in the week; Weiner Dreams was so close to the hotel, we could have had them for breakfast every day. They also had a navy bean pie on display that husband said was really good, so I will be making that soon.
Oh man, one of our absolute favorites was Dreamy Weenies – or, as we refer to it because it’s better this way, Weiner Dreams. So, this popular hot dog place has 5 vegan dog options!! I wanted to try the falafel dog, but I always have falafel, so I got the vegan andouille. So crazy meat-like ahh! I got it ‘Genchili’ style, which is topped with house-made vegan chili and Creole mix (celery, onion, peppers). With ketchup and mustard on top it was very tasty. It was seriously outmatched, however, by the red beans & rice, which we got as a side. Oh my goodness, these were the best red beans & rice either of us had in New Orleans! So crazy! The person who took our order also said that all of the sides are vegan. Amazing! So, you definitely have to go here and get a fun dog but BE SURE to get the red beans & rice all the time. I wish I knew how good they were earlier in the week; Weiner Dreams was so close to the hotel, we could have had them for breakfast every day. They also had a navy bean pie on display that husband said was really good, so I will be making that soon.
Good job weenies! 
I ate all the topping first :/ 
Fun chalkboards are always fun and chalkboardy |
The best red beans & rice 
I WILL HAUNT YOUR WEINER DREAMS |
My sausage plus waffle fries!
KILLER PO’ BOYS
One of the most fun food-related things in NOLA is the existence of Killer Po’ Boys. This centrally located Irish pub called Erin Rose has a little back room where a separate operation makes and sells fantastic po’ boys, the most famous food out of NOLA. I have tried to find out what makes a sandwich a po’ boy, and the only consensus is just the French bread, which seems super wrong.
One of the most fun food-related things in NOLA is the existence of Killer Po’ Boys. This centrally located Irish pub called Erin Rose has a little back room where a separate operation makes and sells fantastic po’ boys, the most famous food out of NOLA. I have tried to find out what makes a sandwich a po’ boy, and the only consensus is just the French bread, which seems super wrong.
Anyway, the best part? KPB always has a vegan option! I got a sweet potato & greens po’ boy, hot and melty from the grill and coated with a pecan spread. Holy crap this was so good! It was nearly falling apart, in the best way. Greasy from the grill and hot and perfect. I could have had two…maybe. It’s such a charming operation, just hashing out hot po’ boys!
I think of Joey from “Friends” as the voice of wisdom so sandwiches are the best food, and po’ boys are the most fun (besides bahn mi!). HOWEVER, on one menu at a different place we found this winner of a po’ boy listed:
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This is an actual food item that people apparently order and then eat. You know who these people are? US! I’m going to make this later this week! So tune back in for this craziness!
BREADS ON OAK
Thank you LazySmurf for telling me that Breads on Oak was a must. It’s kind of out of the way, over where d.b.a. is, but oh my god, everything I had (and I had a lottttttt) was amazing. We stopped here on our way out of the city for the day (for plantation and bayou tours) so I stocked up, getting an entire day’s worth of food (wasn’t necessary but you never know?).
Thank you LazySmurf for telling me that Breads on Oak was a must. It’s kind of out of the way, over where d.b.a. is, but oh my god, everything I had (and I had a lottttttt) was amazing. We stopped here on our way out of the city for the day (for plantation and bayou tours) so I stocked up, getting an entire day’s worth of food (wasn’t necessary but you never know?).
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I had the Buckwheat Breakfast Sandwich first – it was gluten-free and tasted like it (very earthy because of the buckwheat) but I love that taste. The tofu filling was mild and stuffed with sprouts, the perfect breakfast item.
For lunch a few hours/minutes later, I had the Live Food Sandwich, which featured the most incredible, chewy sandwich bread stuffed with carrots, cucumber, avocado, and some kind of spread. Ugh it was so good! My favorite kind of food, fresh vegetables and good bread. |
Floating breakfast sandwich of dreams 
Sooo good! And I think that’s the pie to the left |
The besssst
THE GUMBO SHOP
Right in the heart of the French Quarter is a heavily trafficked, adorable little restaurant called The Gumbo Shop. Because of its prime location, you’d probably assume it doesn’t have anything for vegans, but you’d be wrong. Not only is Gumbo Z’Herbes – a traditional vegetarian gumbo often filled with cabbage, collards, beans, and fresh herbs – always on the menu, but they also always have a vegetarian special entrée! Note, the Gumbo Z’Herbes is on the menu as an appetizer (a cup of it), but I wanted it as my meal so I just asked for a bowl of it and it was no problem. It was absolutely delicious!
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Here’s a picture of my favorite tree
I hope this will help you if/when you go to New Orleans! Don’t worry, we aren’t finished! The next two days will feature reviews of two fancier restaurants (Seed and Feelings) we went to that merit fuller coverage. Both were really good, and one was my favorite place of the whole trip!
After that, we will create dishes inspired by several items you see above — including that absolutely revolting but amazing sounding po’ boy!
Muscat Susie, Muscat Sam: Oh Man, Did We Enjoy Oman
Oman wasn’t on our list for very long – in fact, it might be the fastest we’ve ever decided to go somewhere and then gone. Last year we heard several unrelated wonderful reports about this gem of a country in the Middle East and then suddenly, we were off! (And I was going to be so close to Chandler next door in Yemen, living it up with that rando he met on the plane and/or at 15 Yemen Road.) Between the charming little city of Muscat and the incredible wadis (like my favorite place, Wadi Shab) and sinkholes we swam in around the country, we had a fabulous time. Whether you’re an explorer, a history buff, a water-feature-lover (me), or just in the mood for a super fancy resort vacation (but don’t only stay in the resort), I highly recommend a visit to Oman.
You will definitely need to rent a car, which sucks for people like me who hate driving, especially in foreign lands where you don’t read the language. So, after our super pleasant and short flight from Dubai (which you read about last week, right?) on Swiss Air (which was outfitted like an old professor; I don’t know something about the light wooden detail and the tweed vibe on that plane read ‘professor’), we landed at Muscat International Airport SUPER late at night and SUPER needing to do two specific things: 1) get a SIM card for the phone, and 2) pick up our rental car. You’d think these would be simple since they are most everyone’s 2 things to do! Both the SIM and the Budget rental car people were the. worst. ever. So rude and they took forever so we were well into the wee hours of the morning before we were on our way to the hotel. And that wasn’t even the worst part: I had a full panic attack driving to the hotel because I am the navigatrix, and Google maps had NO IDEA ABOUT MUSCAT. Just never heard about it, I guess. So I was flipping, and I mean flipping, out because I had no idea what to tell Z to do and we kept getting farther away from the city center and we don’t read Arabic so it was terrifying.
Finally somehow we found our hotel. (If you’re driving, print out directions from the airport just in case your maps app also decides it needs 24 hours to start working properly.) During our time exploring, we stayed at the Intercontinental Muscat, which sounds fance because the IC usually is, but this was (known in advance to be) a quite dingy one, with motel-looking rooms. It was more affordable this way, and it was undergoing an extensive remodel while we were there, so while we were lucky to snag the lower prices, we missed out on the nicer rooms. But since we were going to be busy sightseeing (and driving around the country) all day, we didn’t need to be anywhere fancy. No, we were saving that for the second half of our trip, which you’ll see in the next Oman post.
After sleeping, omg sleeping is THE BEST, we explored Muscat the next morning, first by making our way up to the fort area at the north of the city. It’s like a bunch of forts and government buildings and noooo one around, which was cool for exploring and…interesting for my usual fear of “has the world I Am Legended or something?”
Muscat curves along the water (the Gulf of Oman) with various corniches lined with mosques, souks, and cafes (and banks and all other markings of civilization, except we don’t have Habib Bank which is a shame because it’s so close to my favorite thing to shout (HABIBI!) and if there was a Habibi bank I’d be like here take my money). What I consider the main drag of the waterfront, along Al Bahri Road, is right where Mutrah Souk and the Gold Souk are located.
You have to pay to park along the corniche, and while there are plenty of spots, it’s kind of annoying because it’s those newfangled machines (I hate MACHINES) and they only take 50p coins (I know it’s ‘p’ but I don’t know their abbreviations for the smaller denominations) so you have to go buy a tea or something in a nearby cafe and ask for change in 50p coins. But now you know so you can just make sure to have them handy! Who says you don’t learn from me?
I guess this is as good a time as any to share some DEETS about their currency in Oman. It’s the Omani rial! One rial breaks into 1000 baisa, so when I said 50p coins you (like me originally) probably brained that as ‘half their dollar or whatever’, but it’s not half, it’s 1/20!!!! That’s rial small! I hope I did that math right otherwise I’ll be rially embarrassed. One rial is about $2.6 USD, so 10 rials is like $26 and you can generally figure out whether most things are cheap or pricey knowing that. As a destination, it’s cheaper than most of Western Europe, but more expensive than I assumed. You can find super cheap food and stuff but overall it’s much less of a post-Dubai steal than I wanted.
Before or after exploring the coastline and the souks, you’ll want to hit the main cultural museum to learn about Oman and Omani culture. That’s why you’re here! The very nice and informative museum is called the Bait Al Zubair, opened to the public since 1998. Comprising six different buildings and lots of outdoor space, the museum features exhibits on Omani culture and heritage in terms of dress, jewelry, weapons, food, history, furniture, money, housing, and more, including two big ass cannons.
We learned all sorts of info from the museum, but honestly the most compelling info-graphic was about the first postal stamp. Whoever wrote the sign explaining how Britain issued the first government-printed postage stamp on May 6, 1840 was INTO the history of stamps. They honestly sounded like a nerdier version of me, using all caps and everything to make a point! I KNOW! In a museum! It was adorbs. They were like ‘before 1840 the RECEIVER of the letter had to pay for the costs of delivery, but then Mister Sir Rowland Hill became British Postmaster General and he thought the SENDER should pay the price and that was the first time this happened aren’t stamps EXHILARATING?’ no but it’s a good change, Rowland. Could you imagine having to pay for the shitty mail you get? I’d be like hard pass.
Maybe you want to learn about Muscat and not the history of stamps in the U.K. So that means it’s time for our favorite Laughfrodisiac travel feature, your completely accurate history lesson.
So Oman is a Sultanate, along with Brunei and parts of Indonesia and Malaysia, which makes it baby’s first Sultanate visited! I did not see that pudgy little doofus who let Jafar manipulate him, no I did not, I would have given him a talking to. A talking down to, if you will, because I’m still mad at his initial treatment of his daughter and also because he so smol. (I’m OBVIOUSLY joking, Omani officials, and would never speak ill of your actual sultan who is also prime minister? It’s an absolute monarchy over there. (that’s the actual phrase I’m not saying like oh it’s an absolute monarchy; no it’s an ‘absolute monarchy’ it’s a thing.)) My fave thing is that there’s no clear answer about where the name came from (probably someone just saying ‘oh mannn’ like I did) but some think it’s related to writing from Pliny the Elder, which tickles me because I forking LOVE Pliny the Elder, one of my fave elders.
Muscat is Oman’s capital and largest city, and archaeological finds (fishermen graves, so sinister) date the city, an important port, as having communities since 6,000 years before Jesus was like ‘oh hayyyy oh you don’t care about me.’ And then pre-Iranians invaded dun dun dunnn and then they all converted to Islam and then there were all these battles between different tribes and then Marcos Baghdatis’s people invaded (not Cyprus, Baghdad…I see how this gets confusing but stick with me) but then Omani tribes were like gtfO Marcos, it’s Wimbledon time, and then power shifted between native tribes for a bit and all this time the importance of Muscat as a port city between powerful civilizations grew and grew, causing some animosity from people not by the city/water, like how England hates Londoners because we’re the most important.
But then in the 1500s the Portuguese were like ‘o bom dia I’ma gonna takeover you nowah’ (the Portuguese sounded Italian!) and they fought but the Portuguese won and they were like ‘Muito prazer em conhecê-lo but I’ma burna your city to the groundah!’ and they did. They ruled till later in the 1600s when the Imam was finally like FORK THIS and sent troops to Muscat and toppled the power of the Portos. Then there were civil wars which are NEVER good and the Persians kept interfering and trying to take over like ‘oh but itsa my turn to ah rule you!’ (they sound Italian too) but they even though they didn’t get the chance they still contributed to the whole region being destabilized which is rude. The need for cohesive rule let the Al Bu Sa’id dynasty emerge and rule ever since, but not without lots of dramaaaz like even in the last century there was a civil war, from friction between the sultan and the imams and all the interior tribes being like what gives and the sultan asked the British to help quell the rebels (they’re good at that, and stamps), and then the sultan’s son, current ruler Qaboos bin Said al Said, famously staged a bloodless coup to take the seat of power from his father, with the help of the British. It was a very William vs. Charles in the play King Charles III situation.
Well that’s enough history for lunatics so let’s go to one of Qaboos’s favorite places, the mosque. How do I know it’s one of his favorite places? It’s called the Sultan Qaboos Grand Mosque. Construction of the mosque took six years seven months in the 1990s, which is fun because the American version, Six Days Seven Nights, also took place in the 1990s.
It’s an incredibly beautiful, tranquil place, despite having so many tourists visiting – it’s so big that you’re not even bothered by other people (ew other people). Civilians like me (non-Muslims) are allowed to visit the Grand Mosque in the mornings from Saturday to Thursday, so make sure to plan accordingly. You must cover all your damn skin, which you should do in the serious sunshine anyway, but women must also cover their hair. And they are serious about this. I had the pictured headscarf dutifully wrapping me up, but I have hella long and unmanageable hair, and a lock of it fell through the bottom at the back, and a guard yelled at Z to tell me to fix it. (Obviously he spoke to Z and not me, because the man is in charge of the women, because religion.) The language barrier made for a fun exercise in ‘but my hair is covered!’ arguments, not being able to see that a tiny piece was visible on my back. Stupid sinful lady hair!
Aside from mean old guard, it was a really lovely visit. It’s confusing to know where to park and where to enter properly, but we just followed other people from the first parking lot we found and figured it out.
Aside from food-related activities and hotel swimming, which come in their own post (the fun one with the previously hinted resort vacation), that’s pretty much what we did in Muscat! From our base in the city, we took several day trips out into the country, to various sinkholes for more swimming (yay!), to Wadi Shab (my FAVORITE part of this trip (you’ll see that in its own post, with the sinkholes)), and to Nizwa, for the Nizwa Fort and Souqs. Although we enjoyed Nizwa Fort, it was a long way to go (about 2 hours each way) on really busy roads, when we could have used that time to see a lot more educational stuff left in Muscat. I’d only recommend going if you’re heading out of Muscat to stay in another town, or if you have a ton of time.
Even though we admit we probably should have used this day better, it was nice to see the Nizwa Fort. It was built in the 1600s by the Imam Sultan (both things!) Bin Saif Al Ya’rubi, but the underlying structure of this gigantic fort dates back to the 1200s. It’s really architecturally impressive, with a giant drum tower, enormous underground foundations, and endless sections and rooms on different levels showcasing all the good stuff you normally find in defensive structures: battlements, turrets, cannons, food storage, housing, jails, and literally MURDER HOLES: if the windy stairs and secret passages and defensive attacks weren’t enough to impede enemies, there were shafts above each set of doors that people poured boiling oil or water through to stop them. Murder holes. Cool guys. Can’t you just hear Mindy St. Clair going “I call it my murder hole.”
Entry to the Nizwa Fort cost us 5 rial each, so like almost $30 for the both of us, which is LOADS more than any other tourist attraction in Oman cost us. So that kind of bothered us, even though this was cool.
It was a super hot and sunny day when we visited, which was rough because so much of it is outside in the blazing heat and it’s SO climby. As I said before, the various sections are on all different levels, which means lots of stairs. And just when you think you’ve gotten as high as you can possibly go, to the top section, you’re met with these stairs:
Sure they just go up and then down again, but there’s a VIEW UP THERE. We had to do it! Fun fact: There were four sets of these triangle staircases around this tower, and we climbed up and down each one, to capture all the different views.
The Nizwa Fort did have the g-d coolest bathroom signs I’ve ever seen in my life, so that’s something. Look what the men got, it’s so badass.
Afte the fort, we planned to visit the famous souqs, but they were closed! It’s okay though, we weren’t going to buy vegetables, although it was nice to see where my fave souq would have been.
So we had some fun learning about Muscat and Oman, and the posts to come will be about even more fun stuff! Stay tuned.
