Beijing, China: Adventures in Health and Electronicsby Randi / August 5, 2017Beijing, China: Give Me All Your Dumplings and Also All The Other Food
Remember a few weeks ago I was complaining about something or other, as I do, and got scared that I wouldn’t be able to find vegan dumplings in China, the one thing that would make it all worth it? Haha maybe dumplings aren’t that powerful but they are amazing and I had so many dumplings, guys. We even went to a place just called Vegetarian Dumpling. Twice. The food in Beijing was incredible, and I would happily go back there to hit more of the places on my list. After the boring food of Siberia and Mongolia, China so far has been a food paradise. There’s enough English spoken in Beijing that finding out what was vegan at regular restaurants was pretty simple, but when there are so many all vegan 0r vegetarian restaurants to try, why even bother elsewhere?
As soon as we got to Beijing, we walked from our hotel to one of the SUHU Vegetarian Tiger locations, the one in the Fullink Plaza. We walked at least an hour (we really wanted to move and not get on another train by taking the strong metro system immediately), so by the time we arrived we were super hungry and ready to pounce like the titular tiger but on vegan food. It was a weird time because we landed in the city in the afternoon, so we got to SUHU at about 4pm. Luckily they don’t close in between regular meal times, like so many restaurants in China do. However, it was super awkward because 99% of their numerous staff was sleeping at tables with curtains drawn around them. I thought only the Spanish napped in the afternoon while still at work! The restaurant is giant, and very nice, but seeing all these sleeping workers and trying not to bother them was hilariously weird. Whatever, I’m just glad someone was awake to let us in and cook for us, because this is one of my favorite restaurants, anywhere.
Beautiful, right? Behind that center curtain was a table full of a dozen sleeping Chinese people
Given how tired I was after the train and the super loud Canadians I had to deal with, trying to choose what to order from the NEVERENDING MENU was actually stressful. Amazingly lucky, but stressful! Not only was there a big coffee-table-book style menu measuring 13×15 inches with beautiful full size pictures of everything, but they had a second smaller menu with even more house specialies. Ahh it was too much choice! And, even though it says Vegetarian right in the name, and on HappyCow it’s listed as a vegetarian not a vegan restaurant, the About page of the menu says they don’t use dairy or eggs, so like, maybe there’s some honey in some desserts but that doesn’t help me decide what food to order! How do people without special diets order at regular restaurants?! How do you know what you want if there’s not just one vegan option?
Bean curd noodles and TOON
little eels
We decided before we ordered that we would come back another day, which took a lot of the pressure off. First of all, I needed to get a toon dish, because Jojo raved about toon. I chose bean curd ‘noodles’ (like fettuccine-shaped strips I’ve seen everywhere in China) mixed with the delicate green leaf that I learned was toon. I had no idea! It’s like a little green sprout (little green ghouls mannn!) and it’s usually eaten raw so sign me up. This was a perfect dish for me after all this travel – the very mild freshness of toon mixed with the protein-packed bean curd to make a great starter salad. Definitely the kind of thing I would eat every day!
We next tried one of the famed vegetarian eel dishes. I was surprised to see how tiny the portion was, considering how the other plates were pretty big, but considering how much food we ordered, it was for the best (although for the price, it’s kind of a dick move). The eel did not disappoint! It’s been a minute since I’ve had real eel, so my memory is hazy, but it tasted as much like the real thing as I’d want! Caramelized slightly sweet skin and that really good fishy-but-not-gross-fishy flavor and a pretty spot-on texture, so I was a fan of this dish. Maybe I do want more…in the past…however that works.
noodles and veggies and peanuts and mushrooms and more veggies ahhh
DUMPLINGS
Next we tried a simple but delicious noodle dish, with glass noodles, spiralized and marinated vegetables of all/indiscriminate sorts, tofu skin, peanuts, mushrooms, and sesame seeds and oil. It was so yummy! And, of course, because they had dumplings on the menu, I had to get them! I got the Shanghai style, which are a little soupier (but not as soupy as legit soup dumplings which I really want to find vegan version of SOMETIME ughh. These were I think cabbage and miscellaneous other veg. I had been in China for like 3 hours and hadn’t had dumplings yet; I had a quota to fulfill! They were good! Are any dumplings ever bad?? Ahhh love them.
The craziest thing we ordered at SUHU was the purple yam. I know you’re thinking, like, okay, that’s just what most people think are sweet potatoes, what’s the big deal. Well just look at how it was served:
I KNOW
Can you even believe that that whipped cream looking business comes from a tuber? The whipped yam was mixed with a little sugar and a little magic and drizzled with blueberry sauce. It was SO good. It tasted like cheesecake, actually, but not in a disgusting cheesecake way, in an amaaazing way. Literally the only problem with this was that three fluffy clouds of it were too many. It’s so filling and rich-seeming that it’s hard to eat a lot of. But it was so delicious!
some kind of grass
On our other visit, we ordered much more conservatively. Well, not much. Actually, maybe not at all. We never do. For my requisite green vegetable, I got this lightly sauteed dish of what I want to say are pea shoots, though it was a lot more sturdy of a stem than I’m used to with those – in a good way, they kept some bite and weren’t mushy. Very good! The mildness of this dish was necessary to combat the incredible heat of our tofu dish.
CHILIEST TOFU DISH EVER JOJO TURN AWAY
The tofu dish was incredible – dense (obviously pressed, good job!) hard little cubes of tofu covered in a spicy garlicky black sauce, with beans (beans!) of various sorts, a few small-cut vegetables, and most of all, CHILI and other peppers that made it suuuper spicy! We like spicy food (and are super excited for Sichuan province) so this was awesome. And despite the air conditioning in the restaurant, we were actually sweating and had to blow our noses a lot while eating it! Haha so fun!
Less fun was our Singapore noodle dish, which on the menu looked like a good plate of noodles and accompaniment but in reality was a bowl of broth with noodles (and lots of chilis!) in it! We didn’t order soup! It was fine, just a little bit not what we wanted.
SOUP! I MEAN NOODLE SOUP! I MEAN SOUP!
Obviously, I couldn’t go a meal without ordering dumplings, so this time I got the regular steamed dumplings, which were great, as all dumplings are. The two different colors had slightly different tangs to them but still it was mostly a game of cabbage, tofu, and some other standard dumpling stuff. I packed up most of these for the train to Shanghai we took later that last night, and they were perfect train food.
dumplings!
trickster little sesame buns
I wanted to order the hatcake that Jojo recommended, but for some reason my brain wanted me to order sesame buns to save for dessert later. I assumed they were the sweet, super chewy type of sesame bun I love from Chinatowns the world over, but instead they were buttery and flaky, falling apart in your mouth. Which sounds amazing, I know, and they were good, but I just don’t really like buttery and flaky, I like chewy. Regardless, SUHU was incredible and if I’m ever back in Beijing it would probably be my first stop.
I guess it’s really called Vegetarian AND Dumpling but no one says that
Well, it might be my second stop. Another place I absolutely adored was the well-named Vegetarian Dumpling, which was only 15 minutes walk from our hotel and so easy to get to that I went myself (without google maps or cell access at all!) once. The menu has English translations, the dumpling list has eggs next to the stuff that has eggs, it has good wifi, and it was full of actual Chinese people. All wins!
well-marked egg alerts!
The number of dumplings without the egg symbol is a bit limited, but they all still sounded great so we chose three. I read a lot about how Vegetarian Dumpling makes you order a double order of each kind you want, so 10 dumplings instead of the 5 that come in one order. I said, 1) if that was the case why don’t they just make the order size 10? and b) if it is true/so stupid then we will just cross one of the three we chose off!
The waitress came, looked at our order form (you check off what dishes you want and how many of them), and changed all the 1’s we put next to the dumplings into 2’s. So, it is true, and they are not just changing the official order size and price which makes SO MUCH MORE SENSE, but anyway, in more important news, we idiots could not decide what dumpling to cross off because they all sounded good so we just said FORGET IT BRING US ALL 30 DUMPLINGS. 30 dumplings is a lot, guys.
And guess what, having a limited number of vegan dumpling choices did not make ordering here any easier, because they still had an EPIC long menu of regular Chinese food! Ahhhh it looked just as good if not better than SUHU. We decided on a sauteed green vegetable with beans (BEANS!), plus one of their advertised (on the wall) specialties – a stewed meatball and cabbage (or other similar green) dish. SO MUCH FOOD. And it was all great.
30 DUMPLINGS
AHHH SO MANY DUMPLINGS! They were all great too. We got the cabbage and peanut, which was probably the weakest of the three but hey still a dumpling; the carrot, cucumber, black mushroom, black fungus (how’s that different) and vermicelli kind, which was great; and the sweet and sour shredded potato option, which somehow was the best of the three. SO interesting and great! You’d think that after struggling to eat 15 dumplings each I would be sooo over them by now, but that lasted approximately 12 hours.
The stewed meatball dish we got was one of the best things we ate in Beijing. It had NO business being that incredible. So delicious! Oh man! And the greens and beans were great too, if standard, but that’s what I want out of my greens usually.
THAT’S A SPICY MEATABALL no it wasn’t spicy but it was delish
Greens & beans are my favorite thing! Greens & beans are my favorite (beat) thing!
I was ecstatic to see cucumber juice on the list of fresh juices, the only non-fruit (well they have carrot but that doesn’t count) option. I ordered it and was SO happy to discover that it really was JUST cucumber juice! No mixing with apple or other bullshit that every non-Chinese juice place does! It was sooo good. I would soon learn that plain cucumber juice is hella prevalent all over China! Score!
Z ordered a drink called ‘syrup of plum’ out of sheer curiosity. It was not delicious.
I went back another night and had an incredible homestyle tofu dish, cooked and served in a black clay pot that DID NOT COOL OFF. I also had this raw cabbage and peanut salad that was just perfection.
I went back another night and had an incredible homestyle tofu dish, cooked and served in a black clay pot that DID NOT COOL OFF. I also had this raw cabbage and peanut salad that was just perfection.
The tofu dish was my very first dish that would fall under the ‘gelatinous’ category of Chinese cuisine! I don’t know how they did it or why but it was good and not a gross consistency as I’d expect! The cabbage salad was a perfect food for me. The dressing was light and soo delicious, very fresh herb-y and if I didn’t have such a bastardized palette I’d tell you which herbs.
Did I…did I not get dumplings this time??? What’s wrong with me!
I love Vegetarian Dumpling so much. It was pretty darn cheap, too, for SOOO much food. I wish they had one closer to me.
Another vegetarian restaurant we went to was Baihe Lily. This was not our first choice – after seeing the Lama and Confucian Temples, we wanted to go to a very closeby veg restaurant called Xu Xiang Zhai Vegetarian that was in the book and highly recommended. It sounded amazing! We got there, and it was NO LONGER IN EXISTENCE. BOOOO. The closest veg restaurant we could find on Google (we were hangry, no time to travel to something too far) was Baihe Lily. The food was good, but I can’t recommend it really because it’s super overpriced, frustrating to order, and impossible to get service.
First of all, the menus are tablets. Like, electronic little fake iPad looking jawns. So cool and technologically advanced, right? No it was the moooost annoying thing ever. You can’t go back and look at things that looked good without going through 100 other pictures, and then trying to go back and find where you left off. WORST OF ALL, you can’t keep going through and pointing to the things you want to order! They had a kind of online shopping style checkout way to order, by adding things to your cart, but unlike the menu descriptions, the things added only in Chinese so if you added something by accident you couldn’t figure out which thing to delete and would just have to start over and OMG MY AGITAAAA.
Second, no one came back to the dining room to do any of the service in an appropriate fashion. We had to keep flagging someone out in the lobby to order, to pay, &c. During our meal, a white woman was seated at the table next to us. We had seen her at the temples that morning so we made friendly small talk. We finished our meal before anyone even came to give her A MENU. When we saw someone, we asked ‘can someone please get this girl a menu?’ and no one did, so she left without even ordering. UNACCEPTABLE.
Luckily, the food was pretty great. We had this cool vegetarian spare rib-meat kind of dish that was excellent, and of course a plate of leafy greens.
They had a salad-y handroll looking thing that I’m always into, full of sprouts and other salad-y things. Unfortunately, the pink sauce tasting weirdly strawberry yogurty, and even if it was vegan, yogurt is gross, so blech. It reminded me of the gross pink dip that comes in supermarket fruit trays. no no no.
We of course got a noodle dish that was really good, the mix-it-yourself kind that has all the good herbs and peanuts and cucumber strips and spiciness but then when you mix it together like you have to in order to eat it all the good stuff sinks to the bottom and even though that’s annoying that’s just science and it’s all still soo good. We lastly got one of my favorite things, the fried vegetarian fish roll sort of jawn that I get all the time at our favorite London Chinatown restaurant. Leong’s Legends.
I love these weird fried tofu-skin-wrapped veggie fish rolls so much I obviously forgot to take a picture before I ate half
So, yeah, all the food was mostly great! So if you are okay with bad service and frustrating order process, then by all means go to Baihe. But, it was also the most expensive restaurant we had been to since, well, the start of this summer’s travels! Sure it wasn’t as much as a meal like this would cost in London, but that’s a pretty high bar considering how expensive London is and how cheap China is. A pot of the most basic tea, for example, was 65 yuan – at most other places it’s, like, 10. That’s crazy! We did not order the tea.
A few meals were not at all-vegetarian restaurants, if you can believe it! In the APM Mall (SO MANY MALLS IN BEIJING I LOVE IT, AIR CONDITIONING AND BUBBLE TEA!) was an outpost of the very famous Din Tai Fung restaurant, which is in the New York Times Top 10 in the world, apparently. Crazy. There’s one opening soon in London, which I imagine will be priced at 100x as much, because it was pretty cheap and casual and hectic for being so highly ranked. It also was, like, just okay. Granted, they just didn’t have that much for vegans, so I got the standard Chinese restaurant order of a sauteed garlicky leafy green plus another leafy green with bean curd (the smallest amount of bean curd ever served in China) and plain rice. It was fine, perfunctory, but like, not even in the top ten of restaurants we went to in Beijing. I’m sure for Z it was better. The best thing about it, though, was that an official manager lady, complete with microphone headset for running the large restaurant, came over with not-our-waiter, and asked if they would take our photos while we were eating! We were like…seriously? We are used to people asking to take our pictures, or take pics with us, because we are white, but that’s out in the world from regular people. Being asked by the MANAGER of an important restaurant? SO WEIRD! And we were eating! I was literally chewing with food in my mouth and was like um noo thanks you are not taking me with my mouth full of food and then what, putting a poster on the front wall? To quote Danielle Brooks as Sophia in The Color Purple, ‘heeeeeeell no. HELL NO.’ But like, why the manager? And why us? It was full of other whites who were slightly less sweaty, so why us? Did they think I was famous? Who did they think I was? Now I’m curious. But thank goodness I’m not now on Din Tai Fung’s promotional materials before I was able to take my 3rd shower of the day.
Basic food at Din Tai Fung
Fortunately, outside the APM mall (and just everywhere on the streets) are tons of fruit carts selling great fresh fruit. I scored this little bucket of melon for 10 yuan.
Another night, we went into another random mall and found a decent restaurant. I got a thing of greens (always!) and the FUNNIEST salad I’ve ever seen. It was amazing.
Guys I have no idea what this salad vegetable is! The menu translated as some sort of ice preserved plant, but it wasn’t iceberg lettuce, as I kind of suspected. If you look closely at the stem, you can see little clear beading, like water droplets. But it wasn’t little ice crystals! It was like…fake ice crystals? But it didn’t affect the taste at all, it just somehow made the VEGETABLE kind of icy? It was insane we were hysterical just like what is going on! It was actually really good. It came with a nice sesame dressing but the taste of the vegetable itself was so good and interesting that we preferred it plain. Just like…what is the process they put it through?! It’s so cray.
Early in our visit, we went to the Zheng Long Zhai Vegetarian Shop to stock up on goodies, as per Jojo’s recommendation. It is a little hard to find and not really near anything convenient, but it’s so worth going to. They have all these amazing jerky packets, like beef jerky and stuff, of 100 different sorts and it’s all vegan!
I can’t rotate the picture above without crashing the computer (thanks Weebly!), but you can see it’s a LOT of fun stuff. I bought one or two of literally all the jerky options, and most are really good. A little soft for my taste (I’m not supposed to be cooking them…right? They are portable food!…right?) but great, seitan-y goodness. They will so come in handy in the ‘stans, if I don’t eat them all beforehand. I also got two pancake-style single-serving food things, one yuba, and one mushroom. I wish I got more of them because they were delicious. Darn. Then, they have a giant bakery section, for such an incredibly tiny store (so tiny). Everything apparently is vegan! I got a box of crunchy rice cakes that I thought would be like the ones I was addicted to in Thailand – that is, sugary – but they were just plain rice! I was kind of mad but it’s better because they make great daytime snacks while out and about instead of just dessert. I got a few little pastry things that looked great but ended up being buttery flaky things, which you know by now aren’t my favorite, but they were still good. My favorite thing was that pancake looking thing! It was filled with a just barely sweet bean paste and I wish I got a ton of them! So yummy. The cellophane bag of little brown squares I assumed would be peanutty, but despite being fine I really cannot tell what the crap they are. The strangest thing about Chinese dessert, I’ve learned, is that – for a country where people drink bubble tea and juice and all drinks so flipping sweet that just one sip will give you the ‘beetus, their desserts have the smallest amounts of sugar possible to still qualify as dessert. Actually, some things I wouldn’t even let qualify as dessert, they are so non-sweet! It’s crazy! Seriously, I bought a tea from a fridge case once and had to throw it away because it was like pure high-fructose corn syrup. And I get my bubble teas (MY FAVORITE THING NOW, more on those in later posts because I didn’t take pics in Beijing I was too busy eating all the tapioca balls immediately and pouring out the tea just kidding but I would do that) at the ‘zero sugar’ or ‘25% the regular sugar’ options, and they are still hella sweet! It’s so weird that all the drinks are way too sugary but the desserts aren’t sugary enough! Let the two categories share the sugar amounts and both would then be perfect!
Regardless, this vegetarian shop is a must visit if you are traveling for a while and need snacks and emergency protein strips.
In the complete opposite world, we also stopped at a Wal-Mart. They have Wal-Marts all over China! And while 90% is Chinese products, they do have a decent amount of recognizable stuff. Like sooo many weird flavored Oreos! We tried the vanilla sundae kind – reeeeally good! – and the strawberry kind – reeeeally gross! We got some candy and some drinks, including a lot of what we thought was cranberry and blueberry juice (as per doctor’s orders!), a really good apple cider vinegar drink, and an almond milk. Some of that is pictured; I think I forgot to take stuff out of another bag.
The giant carton of coconut water came in handy on our exhausting sweaty trek of the Great Wall (next post!). Those macadamia chocolates are accidentally vegan and we see them EVERYWHERE! Remind me to get more before we leave China. They’re even in Family Marts and 7-11! Those little blue and red tubes in the middle, guess what they are? SINGLE SERVE PEANUT BUTTER PACKS BOIIIII! And the blue is Skippy! Ahhhh! I don’t like Skippy when I’m home but I’m very excited about having it in central Asia! The red kind is the Chinese (and cheaper) option. Yas peanut butter!
Lastly, I have to share one of my favorite things. After my doctor’s appointment, we went into a nearby office building to pee, and of course the basement where the toilets were had an epic food court/mall style set up because every single building does. The very first thing I ran into?
A JUICE BAR!!! Despite doctor’s orders to consume berries, I of course ordered the greenest option on the menu (which was also in English!) because I can’t not! If it’s my only real green juice/smoothie opportunity for 4 months, I’m going to get the greenest one obviously! It was peasprouts, lettuce, pineapple, apple, and orange I think. I think I added spinach? It tasted just like peashoots, and you know what? I loved it. (Z did not.)
Well that’s all the food in Beijing that I have pictures of, so that’s all we’re going to talk about! The food really is incredible. I’m sure with five weeks in China, I’ll get sick of Chinese food at some point, but I don’t see that happening soon.
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The Legend of Bilbao Baggins: Rain, Dogs, More Rain, More Dogs
As soon as we stepped off the airport bus near our hotel in Bilbao, the pouring rain turned to hail. It was hailing on us. Serious, scary balls of hail pounding on us like we’ve never before experienced. What a lovely welcome, Bilbao!
Luckily, the hail stopped that night, but the rain continued for almost our entire visit. That sucks, but although Bilbao isn’t as pretty in the rain as Paris is, it was still a solid trip in a nice city. Now, those adjectives might seem decidedly underwhelming, but I mean them with all my heart without going overboard with praise. Also, Gabrielle Union was wrong and you cannot just be whelmed in Europe.
Luckily, the hail stopped that night, but the rain continued for almost our entire visit. That sucks, but although Bilbao isn’t as pretty in the rain as Paris is, it was still a solid trip in a nice city. Now, those adjectives might seem decidedly underwhelming, but I mean them with all my heart without going overboard with praise. Also, Gabrielle Union was wrong and you cannot just be whelmed in Europe.
Fighter of the night man!
Landing in Bilbao, Spain, I thought I was sooo clever calling it Bilbao Baggins, like The Hobbit. Of course, five minutes later, we see on the road signs that, in the Basque language, Bilbao is ‘Bilbo’. So, not as clever as I thought. By the way, that Basque language is quite something. It’s a language isolate – meaning it has no discernible relationship to any other language. ON EARTH. That’s freaking wild. When you’re in Europe, you’re like, hey man, hit me with the romance languages, I’ll figure it out, they’re all close enough. But then in this region between Spain and France, all rules and prior knowledge go out the window and you are left staring at some hybrid of Japanese and Klingon where every 4th letter is a ‘k’ and every 6th letter is an ‘x’. It is CRAZY and crazy interesting. Where did they come from! How is the language not related to any other spoken on the planet? (That Klingon thing doesn’t seem too far-fetched now, does it? (Husband has me watching too much Star Trek.)) Everyone speaks regular Spanish though, but not many people we encountered in restaurants, shops, and train stations spoke English. So prepare some Spanish! I’ll get you started with some necessary phrases: “Donde esta la biblioteca? Me llamo T-bone la araña discoteca!”
OH LOOK IT’S THE ACTUAL ARAÑA DISCOTECA!
OH LOOK IT’S THE ACTUAL ARAÑA DISCOTECA!
If you know “Community“, or me at all, then you know that when I saw this giant spider outside the famous Bilbao Guggenheim (more on that below), I exclaimed “Ahh! It’s the araña discoteca!” (“What. It’s 2009.”) Now, this is where my talents of persuasion? lying? convincing myself that things are real? paid off. Husband is finding out only right now, as he reads this upon publishing, that I was making up my Bilbao history: When we walked up to this, he said “What??? It’s a giant spider! What the heck!” or something like that. And iiiiii said, “It’s called the araña discoteca. I read about it. Important in Spanish history.” Oh my god I’m awful. But good. So there we have it.
The disco spider stands (dances?) near Bilbao’s spectacular Guggenheim museum. Designed by Frank Gehry, it evokes the feeling of the water it’s on, with its wave-like sides and its shimmering fish-like scales. The building is gorgeous and larger than you can imagine, and although the atrium is splendid as well, the best part is the exterior view. Paying to get into this modern art museum seems almost silly when the best art is free to see outside.
The disco spider stands (dances?) near Bilbao’s spectacular Guggenheim museum. Designed by Frank Gehry, it evokes the feeling of the water it’s on, with its wave-like sides and its shimmering fish-like scales. The building is gorgeous and larger than you can imagine, and although the atrium is splendid as well, the best part is the exterior view. Paying to get into this modern art museum seems almost silly when the best art is free to see outside.
As a mountain of steel makes its way to the sea
Right?? It’s beautiful! Now, there isn’t much to do in Bilbao after you see this lovely building, so you might think, hey I guess I have to go inside. But…um…you don’t? The aforementioned atrium is gorgeous but the actual art hanging on these lovely walls? Balls. It’s all balls. I’m not the biggest modern art aficionado (could you guess?), but I can appreciate it, most of the time. Most of this stuff, however, was ridonkulous. Like if a toddler threw a bottle of paint at a wall. (Or his poop.) Or if a psychopath took a knife to some leather chairs. (There were actual destroyed leather seat cushions hanging on the wall.) One exhibit was just an old car’s motor. Unaltered. A car motor. How is this art! Someone tell me! The only item in the entire cavernous museo that I thought wow this is nice was a log by Ai Weiwei that somehow had a tiny picture of China drilled through it. That was awesome. The 2-D primary color blocked walls? Not so much.
There’s also this. A whole floor of this. The stuff of nightmares.
Luckily, there’s more fun external art to behold at this site. My very favorite thing about Bilbao was how dog-friendly it is. Everywhere we went, people had their dogs with them. (Rarely on leashes, which makes me absolutely nuts because I always frantically try to figure out who belongs to unleashed dogs in case someone is lost and I need to take care of them. So stressful. Just use leashes!) People who have seen me around dogs know that I go kind of nuts talking to them in my special dog voice (a high-pitched squeak that I cannot control), so all weekend in Bilbao was like me on helium. Doggies everywhere! It was amazing! I like to think that the very famous Flower Dog by Jeff Koons, standing proudly and beautifully outside the main entrance to the Guggenheim, is a symbol of how dog-friendly this city is. It’s possibly the most dog-friendly city I’ve ever been to. (And therefore the biggest point in its favor.)
PUPPIEEEEE!
More puppieeeee! That’s not me. (Move bi#$* get out da way!)
Me with a puppy!
Once you see the Gugs, you’ve done what you’re supposed to do in Bilbao! So now what? Well, stroll along the river in the rain and smile at how pleasant the little city is. It will be raining, I promise you. Oh it was on the trip that I was like ‘Ohhhhh the rain in Spain is mainly on THIS plain, that’s what they were talking bouttttt!’ Revelation. It made me okay with raining all weekend to feel like a part of a musical.
Then what? Well stroll some more. See some dogs and, if you’re like me, try to pet them and play with them but then realize that these dogs freaking speak Spanish so they don’t know what you are saying when you say “HI PUPPY YOU ARE SO CUTE! YES YOU ARE SO CUTE!” and their humans really have no idea probably what you are saying either or what the heck is wrong with you talking that high-pitched so you can try to adjust your language mid-freak-out and say “Hola….perro?? Tu es…um….HII PUPPYYYYY!” That’s pretty much how it went. 100x per day.
Walk over to the old town, as every good European city has, and wonder as your wander about the tiny streets and are lucky enough to catch adorable sights like this:
Then what? Well stroll some more. See some dogs and, if you’re like me, try to pet them and play with them but then realize that these dogs freaking speak Spanish so they don’t know what you are saying when you say “HI PUPPY YOU ARE SO CUTE! YES YOU ARE SO CUTE!” and their humans really have no idea probably what you are saying either or what the heck is wrong with you talking that high-pitched so you can try to adjust your language mid-freak-out and say “Hola….perro?? Tu es…um….HII PUPPYYYYY!” That’s pretty much how it went. 100x per day.
Walk over to the old town, as every good European city has, and wonder as your wander about the tiny streets and are lucky enough to catch adorable sights like this:
How cute is this! Does the building management make sure all the tenants have colorful umbrellas or like do Spanish people just know how to be adorable?
Another great treat was the stained glass in one of the train stations. Okay, this is where the language barrier got really rough. We needed to go to a nearby town for a fancy dinner (check back tomorrow!) and wanted to take the train. Well, we didn’t. We couldn’t get a straight answer from anyone (also, like, no one worked in the stations?? because Spain in the afternoon = sleepytime?) as to which was the correct station and which was the correct train and where to go and just f it, we took a taxi. Anyway, one of the stations – whichever it was – had this nice glass.
Another great treat was the stained glass in one of the train stations. Okay, this is where the language barrier got really rough. We needed to go to a nearby town for a fancy dinner (check back tomorrow!) and wanted to take the train. Well, we didn’t. We couldn’t get a straight answer from anyone (also, like, no one worked in the stations?? because Spain in the afternoon = sleepytime?) as to which was the correct station and which was the correct train and where to go and just f it, we took a taxi. Anyway, one of the stations – whichever it was – had this nice glass.
Bilbao also has a very cool suspension bridge that is pedestrian only AND is lined with like astroturf!! It’s so fun and squishy!
A really fun part of Bilbao is the funicular ride to the top of the hill. It’s a three-minute ride and costs like 70 cents or something crazy. It’s a scary steep climb, but so worth it for the views, although it will likely be foggy, and for one of my favorite sights, the fingerprint statue.
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doesn’t it look like there’s a crazy floating sky mountain like out of Avatar??
Why do I love this!
There were many lovely views around Bilbao. Near our hotel was a park with lots of fountains, which was nice but seemed redundant in the rain.
You’d think at night this park would be full of criminals and drug dealers but it was pretty safe.
There were also some hilarious things we came across. Down the street from our hotel, we found a weird mall. It was one of the only things in the city open on Sunday afternoon — but every single store in the mall was closed! So why was the actual building open to the public if every store was closed? Because one of the entryways had a few crappy kids’ rides, and every. single. child. in Bilbao was there with its family playing with the crappy toys. It was so so random. In this scary ghost mall was also this restaurant:
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Yes, this restaurant was called La Mafia, and every single seat in the place had a name written over it – a name of a character from “The Godfather” movies. I mean. That’s ballsy. And hilarious. And it’s inside a mall. It doesn’t get better.
Oh wait, YES IT DOES! Of course it gets better because Bilbao sells The Thermomix! If you aren’t familiar with The Katering Show, you must must must watch this right very now before continuing with your life, even your breathing. It’s the best thing out there. So, being a huge fan of the show, when I saw this gigantic ad for the actual real-life breathing (probably) machine that does it all but unnecessarily, well I freaked out! It’s real! It’s alive (probably)! And it’s beeyoootiful! No, it’s not, it’s frightening, but oh man how I adore it, if only for the jokes.
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Can you believe it’s real?
So, Bilbao may not have a lot of activities to do, but it’s a nice town to walk around in for a few days. If you go, you’ll have a nice, pleasant time, as long as you aren’t out very late when all the yoots come out of the woodwork and take over the city and all the streets like awful drunk ants. Ugh yoots. Anyway, during the day it’s nice. I wouldn’t go out of my way to go if you have limited time in Europe, but like if you live on the continent then why not. (Ringing endorsement!)
We’ll talk about the food for the next two days. See yaaa.
So, Bilbao may not have a lot of activities to do, but it’s a nice town to walk around in for a few days. If you go, you’ll have a nice, pleasant time, as long as you aren’t out very late when all the yoots come out of the woodwork and take over the city and all the streets like awful drunk ants. Ugh yoots. Anyway, during the day it’s nice. I wouldn’t go out of my way to go if you have limited time in Europe, but like if you live on the continent then why not. (Ringing endorsement!)
We’ll talk about the food for the next two days. See yaaa.
Freaking love this little pink and blue buildings.
Oh hey here’s a statue of John Adams on the main drag.
Travel Adventure Announcement! I Go To Old Country…a lot of them
Yay it’s time for our big news! This summer (and some of the fall!), we are taking the incredible sabbatical trip that we’ve been talking about for so long. For years now, we’ve been planning this adventure (well, Husband has), and this summer – THIS FRIDAY! – we finally get to start it. You might have guessed by now that that epic google maps screenshot at the top of the page is a map of our route. Here it is again:
I knowww. For 3 ½ months, we are taking the Trans Mongolian Railway throughout Russia to Mongolia and China, and then traveling all around China and through the Silk Route and overland back to Western Europe. It’s almost as crazy as how much stuff I’m trying to cram into my backpack! Yes, we are backpacking, and staying at hostels (and lots of yurts in mountains!), which we haven’t done in a long time (or ever in the case of mountain yurts alongside Mongol families) so it’s an adventure in every way.
This Friday, we fly to Helsinki, our last flight until the very end of September, and on Saturday we catch our first of many, many, so many trains, this one to Saint Petersburg, which means that that entire train ride I will be singing the following lyric from “Natasha, Pierre, and The Great Comet of 1812”, which is simultaneously impressive for the very high falsetto from Lucas Steele but also f-ing hilarious for the very high falsetto from Lucas Steele:
Sorry Husband I know that’s going to get RILL annoying rill fast but who could help it! Actually I’m going to be singing a LOT of “The Great Comet” throughout Section 1 of our trip. For instance, after PETERSBUURRRRRG I’ll be imitating Grace McLean’s scary shouty belt of “WELLLL WELLLL WELCOME TO MOSCOW!!!” God I’m so excited I LOVE when musical theatre provides the soundtrack to my whereabouts. (It’s gonna be so fun when we finally go to Buenos Aires.) I’ll also have a lot of “Anastasia” to work with, because I’ma need courage to not desert me but especially because my grandfather just told me literally 3 weeks ago that one of his parents was from Russia so it’s like a journey to the past. Didn’t know! Ya Rooskii!! So our first month, the Russia month, is like go to old country for me. P.S. that’s as good as my Russian is after we’ve been taking it for 2 years in preparation for this trip. I can pretty much just say “Where is the toilet?” and then speak English in a very comical Russian accent I hope they don’t srow zee acid in zeh face.
For the first week of our trip, our cousin Adam is meeting us! So fun! He was one of the OG’s at Weebly, which hosts this very blog [ed. note: not anymore! hello WordPress my new friend], so hopefully he can help me bypass any blocks and post updates! After Petersburg and Moscow, we train on through to Vladimir, Suzdal, Yekaterinburg, and Irkutsk in Russia. Then, we minibus for like a whole day (ahhh where do I peeeeee) to Olkhon Island, which is a pain in the ass to get to but everyone says once you get there it’s so worth it. I’m so excited. I hope it’s not too cold to swim in the lake. After we hypotherm it up, we train to our last stop in Russia, Ulan-Ude, before entering Ulan Bator, Mongolia, WHERE THERE IS A LOVING HUT. By that point in our travels, I will be so excited to find an all-vegan restaurant that I don’t even care that Loving Huts make you swear allegiance to the cult of the Supreme Master before they give you delicious food that all tastes the same no matter what you order.
Once in Mongolia, we will be celebrating the annual national festival of Naadam. Naadam celebrates the “three games of men” – wrestling, horse racing, and archery, which (aside from the horse racing which I am crossing my fingers is non-violent but when is horse racing ever non-violent?) is a hilarious concept to base a festival around. I hope Robin of Loxley shows up for archery and I can yell about how someone split Robin’s arrow in twaaaaain. In Mongolia (I can’t believe I’m going to Mongolia), we are meeting up with our crazier-than-us friend Sivani from Ever the Wayfarer because when you say to the California-based Sivani ‘hey we should hang out again soon’ she says ‘sure I will meet you in Mongolia that would be easiest for me.’
After Mongolia, we finish Section 1 by training to Beijing, where we begin Section 2 – literally all of China. Well I guess not literally all but we have more than 40 days there so we are seeing a shittonne of it. Right now, the only song I can think of to provide the soundtrack is Tori Amos’s “China” which is kind of a downer so if anyone can make some suggestions I definitely need them. (Am I having a total brain fart or are there no China-based musicals? Booo.) We’re visiting Beijing, Shanghai (bunsssss! I want steamed bunssss), Nanxun, Hangzhou, Huangshan, Guilin, Yangshuo, Chengdu (origin (not) of my dad’s Chinese restaurant staple, Chengdu triple delight!), Xi’an, and then through the western border via Urumqi and Kashgar. I’m gonna see giant pandas!! And so much other stuff. A lot of stuff. It’s hard to wrap my head around anything past Moscow right now but hopefully I will figure out a way to blog while in China or at least very soon after we leave so I can share everything we do.
We exit China into Kyrgyzstan, which honestly I didn’t know was a real place until we decided to go there. We have a lot of hikes and a lotttt of horseback riding in Kyrgyzstan because that is how they get from place to place, and no matter how much I don’t want to do that, you have to in order to visit this country [ed. note: you don’t! we got around that! we walked!]. The beautiful, remote places we will get to should make it worth it. After almost 2 weeks in Kyrgs, we bus (peeee???) into Kazakhstan, which we are really excited about because we are going to make sooooo maaaaany Boooooraaaat jooooookes. They will hate us but man alive is that going to be hilarious just to the two of us. Chinqui!
After Kazakhstan, we will be going to Uzbekistan, so by this point our trip is a huge challenge for Herman Cain to talk about. We see all the things (it’s not until SEPTEMBER I can’t fit the details in my brain just yet) before returning to Moscow via Volgograd to catch the train to Kiev, Ukraine. We are going to visit Chernobyl when there, which seems a little scary because of radioactivity but we decided to do it because who knows how much longer the planet has left anyway. From Kiev, we take the train to Warsaw, Poland, which I am really excited about because I’ve never been to Poland and that’s where the other half of my paternal ancestors are from (the maternals are all eye-tals it’s a spicy meataball! I’m so good at accents of my people). More of I go to old country! Finally, after Poland, we take our 500th and final train (at least of this trip) to Berlin, Germany, one of our favorite cities in the world, where Husband and I got engaged and the vegan food is beyond belief. Even though we won’t be there for three and a half months, I already know what I’m ordering from that all-vegan French bakery. Oh and vegan doner kebab! I’m going to be hungry. I have so many nuts and protein bars in my backpack.
From Berlin, we fly back to London, where we will probably have to be reacclimated to normal life like astronauts when they come back from space except hopefully we will have gotten better, not worse, at walking.
Jeez I’m tired just talking about everything we’re going to do! It’s going to be quite a challenge for me considering I’ll be doing without my four favorite things in the world (sleep, television, gyms, green smoothies with Vega) but I think I will be better for it. (Ha you thought I was going to say theatre but we already have amazing tickets for the opera and the ballet in the next two weeks dance dance dance emojis!)
I know it’s kind of scary to be going to some of these places at this turbulent time. And I realize how, um, awkward it is to be going to Russia when their involvement in the election is the top issue right now (and should be until it’s resolved). But as we learned in the last month, it’s just as safe, or not safe, in London as it is anywhere we could go. We’re all at risk of some sort as soon as we get out of bed each day, but we can’t let that fear dictate how we live our lives, because a sheltered unexamined life is easily wasted (although there is a good Broadway musical song extolling its virtues hello “Wicked” shoutout). I know that’s high talk coming from me, since I am the biggest scaredycat and worrywart (#scaredywortworrycat) out there, but I want to travel and I want to have fun and see the whole world and I can’t do that from my couch, as much as I love couch. You have to do stuff, is what I’m saying, and live your life without fear of the worst possible outcome, because all the other outcomes are pretty great, and regardless I think we’re all in some version of The Matrix anyway.
But on that note, I’m not going to be writing about any political issues or anything controversial in places like Russia and China, at least not while I’m in their jurisdiction. As outspoken and political as I am, it would be beyond stupid to risk anything in countries whose freedom of speech laws are more restrictive than I’m used to.
I’m not sure about the internet connection I’ll have over the next 3 ½ months, and when I do have internet, I’m not sure which sites will be blocked (except for in China, where I know everything is blocked). I’ll do my best to blog as much as I can, so make sure to keep checking back on the home page for updates (that’s the best way, because I know facebook and twitter updates will be hard if not impossible, and Weebly doesn’t have a program for sending emails to subscribers when new posts are up (dammit Adam!)).
So that’s the big exciting news! What an adventure it will be! Be sure to follow along. And if you have been to any of the places we are going to, please comment or email (link at top) with any tips, advice, and recommendations you have! Da svidanyaaaaa!
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Oh yummm