Show Boat on the West End: Top-Notch Production of a Classic Showby Randi / August 16, 2016
*This post is part of a series in which I eat fancy Michelin-starred meals and then brag about it.
Recently, Husband and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary! Although the traditional gift is cotton, we decided we’d be okay with food instead. (We decided this last year too, and next year.) We quickly came up with The Clove Club after I was informed that eating tubs of soft serve from Yorica! probably isn’t a smart idea. Located in Shoreditch’s Town Hall, The Clove Club is only a few years old and a favorite of super hip people. To make sure people know how super hip it is and how special you have to be to get in, you don’t make a reservation per se; you buy tickets online to the ‘event’ of your dinner, well in advance. So we had tickets to the show a few weeks ago, on a Tuesday evening at 7ish, and it went past 11pm because it was a tasting menu at a Michelin-rated restaurant (one star) and that’s what they do that’s what they do.
The Clove Club shares sample tasting menus on their website, and lists a vegetarian option, which is a great start considering none of these restaurants (except Alinea) ever use the v-word without prompting. The sample vegetarian menu is heavy on dairy and eggs, but they assured us that they could easily make a vegan menu of equal quality. WE’LL SEE. (No they did, it was great.) I have no f-ing clue how many courses this is going to be, because we ordered the extended menu (which you can see; I love the restaurants that give you your personal menu like you’re a goddamn king) but like all such places, they send out a number of ‘snacks’ first that they don’t include on the menu and I forget what anything is the second I’m done eating it. Oh well.
When we arrived, various people led us to our little table in the little dining room, which was decorated simply. I didn’t notice any famies but then again I don’t know British celebrities at all. All the good ones go to American anyway amiright!! Our waitress was fantastic, and immediately confirmed that I was une vegan. I wish I remembered her name but all I remember is that she was from Sicily. She was seriously the best wait person I have encountered ever in this country. Give her a raise, Clove Club.
Sicilia (I’m just gonna call her that) immediately asked if we wanted still or sparkling water, so, plus 1 on the water issue getting handled quickly! To that question, I usually respond ‘tap’ because they are always trying to trick you into buying a bottle when they ask that question. Angry face! No one should have to pay for water! Luckily, Husband answered before I had the chance to embarrass us with my answer, because fancy clean water was included in our already-paid bill. Phew! They probably would have asked me to leave. Husband likes sparkling water and I like still, so they brought us bottles of both and kept refilling them at a very impressive pace. Bravo! Finally! Sicilia also confirmed that Husband was doing a wine pairing while I was getting a soft pairing! I had completely forgotten about that! This is the first time I’ve ever heard a restaurant offering beverage pairings with each dish for anything other than alcohol, so this was so exciting. Then she brought us cold towels like you might get on planes if you are a fancy person. I liked that they were chilled because it is summer (sort of), but I wonder if they give warm towels in the winter. That sounds like it would be nice.
Sicilia (I’m just gonna call her that) immediately asked if we wanted still or sparkling water, so, plus 1 on the water issue getting handled quickly! To that question, I usually respond ‘tap’ because they are always trying to trick you into buying a bottle when they ask that question. Angry face! No one should have to pay for water! Luckily, Husband answered before I had the chance to embarrass us with my answer, because fancy clean water was included in our already-paid bill. Phew! They probably would have asked me to leave. Husband likes sparkling water and I like still, so they brought us bottles of both and kept refilling them at a very impressive pace. Bravo! Finally! Sicilia also confirmed that Husband was doing a wine pairing while I was getting a soft pairing! I had completely forgotten about that! This is the first time I’ve ever heard a restaurant offering beverage pairings with each dish for anything other than alcohol, so this was so exciting. Then she brought us cold towels like you might get on planes if you are a fancy person. I liked that they were chilled because it is summer (sort of), but I wonder if they give warm towels in the winter. That sounds like it would be nice.
DON’T EAT THE YELLOW SNOW. or do
Okay so the food! We started quickly with a few tiny dishes, or snacks as they’re called, though I know from “Friends” that they should be called amuse bouches. Thanks television! First off was this freeze-dried yellow tomato ice crumble. I might be completely wrong. But this yellow stuff was definitely vegetable ice, and it was pretty goodl! It melted away sort of like a cross between sorbet and snow. Yeah it was very much like snow. It was really cool and refreshing.
ohneeon skin |
I’ll call you jicama |
The next bouche was a piece of fried onion skin, which sounds mean but it was decent. It tasted like a sophisticated onion ring without the stench of other Outback customers infiltrating it. I liked that it was something different and fun, although yeah it was a piece of ohneeon skin that they just chose not to throw away. Next was like a little sushi piece or wrap, with a thin crunchy vegetable ribbon rolled up with greens and a pate. I forget what the vegetable was; I want to say jicama because it looks like it but it wasn’t that. Whatever, it was a nice little veggie roll-up.
Fun with cookie cutters!
The last of our little snacks was hot! This star-shaped veggie patty was deeeelicious! I could have eaten 100 of ’em! It had a very thin outer layer and was soft inside, like a fried jawn you’d keep in the freezer for children. As a childlike person, I really enjoyed it. And it was a fun shape!
We were brought a basket of bread by this point, with olive oil for me. Like other Michelin restaurants who give you bread, the olive oil was the best I’ve had in a long time, probably since the last such place. The bread was good but it was cold. Well not cold but room temperature, I guess. If it was slightly warm it would have been off the chiz.
We were brought a basket of bread by this point, with olive oil for me. Like other Michelin restaurants who give you bread, the olive oil was the best I’ve had in a long time, probably since the last such place. The bread was good but it was cold. Well not cold but room temperature, I guess. If it was slightly warm it would have been off the chiz.
We’re on to the main event(s)! First up for me was a salt baked white beetroot, that they had grown in their special garden and sliced into thin ribbons. I’m loving all these ribbons, guys! I didn’t know you could make white beetroot; I thought the main identifying aspects of beets were that they were red and tasted like dirt. These were excellent though, and salt baking sounds like a great way to cook them. The white ribbons were mixed with hazelnuts and burnet, which I learned is a salad herb, and dressed up with little edible flowers. It was a truly beautiful dish, and a nice start to the main meal. My soft pairing here was so perfect for me it was like they researched me in advance – green juice! I forget the exact components but I think it had cucumber, parsley, and lemon.
Next was a salad of bobby beans, which I never heard of before, but apparently they’re just green beans, which I don’t count as beans, actually; I count them as vegetables. Regardless, this was the only sign of bean/protein in the entire meal, which is expected at nonvegan restaurants like this but disappointing. Definitely something these restaurants have in common and all need to work on. Anyway though, this was a very good little salad, with the green beans mixed with incredibly fresh and delicious peach, almond pieces, and something called manjimup truffle. The only manjimup I found while googling is a place is Australia, so I guess it’s a fancy way of saying imported truffle? I f-ing love truffles. Pour truffle oil on all of my food. I like it less so when it’s just sliced raw pieces because their immense flavor doesn’t fully come out that way, but even so I feel like Cathy Z. Jones when I am served it, so yeah still good. Ooh my soft pairing here was a cold Earl Grey tea with lavender, I think. Really good!
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Next was the standard you would expect when any and every nonveg place caters to a vegan – baked aubergine, or eggplant for you ‘mercans. Unlike the endless conference/wedding meals of crappy baked eggplant topped with bland tomato sauce, this version was wonderful. The tiny eggplants were cooked well and covered with herbs and a thin, tasty green tomato sauce. RG! My soft here I thiiiink was the apple juice, slightly greenified. Yum!
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As a little interlude in the meal, we were served a summer herb broth that was a million times more incredible than it should have been. This liquid was denser, flavor-wise, than anything I can remember ever eating, and each sip was like an enormous garden boiled down to a teaspoon. It really was great. I’m like the vegan version right now of what I imagine people who rave over bone broth are, except not a damn idiot.
CORN HAIR
The first course in Act II I think is my favorite, just because while being delicious it was also fun and kind of hilarious. The Scottish girolles, Michelin restaurants’ favorite mushroom, were grilled wonderfully and served with kale and sweetcorn. Then it was all topped with CORN HAIR! I find this so darn funny! I ate the corn hair, naturally, and it was pretty good so I do think I was supposed to eat it. Every component of this dish was great: kale is always welcome on my plate; the sweet corn tasted like perfect creamed corn down south; and the girolles were lovely. Yay fun great dish! Oh, you can sort of see in the background a little cup of red? That was my soft pairing, and while I couldn’t finish it, it was the most perfect pairing – red pepper and gochujang juice! Unlike my experience at the Just V Fest, this wasn’t just pure (chili) pepper; it was tempered with other fruits and vegetables, but it was pretty powerful and really just awesome, especially with the gochujang. I can’t do a lot of red pepper though before I start feeling sick, so the last sips went to Husband, who really enjoyed it. I just love this pairing idea because red pepper goes so well with corn! And corn hair!
One of the few times our courses resembled each other’s happened next, with the consomme. Mine was mushroom, and between this and the summer herb broth, I’m pretty sure The Clove Club has the best broths in the entire world. Such good liquids! And you know I love liquid! What put it over the top, though, was how it was served. The alcohol guy came over, not the waiters, with our soups and a bottle of 100-year-old Madeira. A small amount of the Madeira was poured into a big glass, and then swished around so it coated the glass, and then we were instructed to drink the bit that was left before the consomme was poured in. That way, we had the Madeira taste in our mouths and it was coating the glass, so it augmented the flavors of the consomme, which was amazing, deep and mushroomy. I don’t like alcohol but this was a really cool way to jazz up consomme while also making the diner feel super g-d special! I mean hell it was A HUNDRED YEARS OLD and the little amount they gave me probably cost like $200 or something crazy. Fire that son of a bitch up and throw it at my head!
Groatsy boatsy oatsy floatsy
My last savory course was this great pile of oat groat risotto with courgette (zucchini) and sunflower seeds. I knowwww you’re thinking, omg another dish of hot wet rice (risotto) at a fancy pants restaurant? I know because I thought it too, and always do when I’m presented with hot wet rice, the vegan standard dish all over the world. Le sigh. But this was great! The oat groats made for a nice creative change and helped to earthify the zucchini from being too light and sweet. The courgette flowers fried on top were a nice touch. The only problem was that half the zucchini was cut into thick slabs, which is gross, and thus undercooked. And that one with the little stalk-end still on it should have been cut off. That piece was really undercooked too, which was upsetting. But aside from the too-thick zucchini pieces (just ribbon it, always! otherwise it’s just plain warm zucchini which is usually not tasty), this was a nice dish and I really liked the main groat part.
Next came dessert! Unfortunately, dessert did not meet the higher standards set by the dinner part. What are the two things I always complain about being served for dessert as a vegan? Fruit sorbet, and fruit. And those were the two dessert courses here, sadly. They were still really good and impressive for what they are, but I just can’t help being the tiniest bit disappointed that, in essence, these two very basic things are the best this outstanding restaurant (and virtually all others) can come up with. You should be able to think of something more creative! I understand that the fact that they accommodated me at all is something, and that they can’t think of so many spectacular alternatives when they’re focusing on the main menu offerings, but still I have hope.
Little sorbet treat
At least the sorbet wasn’t lemon or something. It was apricot, and it really was delectable, for sorbet. Served with toasted almonds, a few mint leaves, and more edible flowers, it was beautiful looking and tasting. It was creamier than most sorbets are, so that is good. Okay, this one gets a pass! It really was good.
The second dessert was a lemongrass and berry jelly, which was fine but not worthy of ending the meal. A little too boring, a little too it’s-just-berries-and-jelly. Of course by this point I was seriously full anyway, so whatever.
The second dessert was a lemongrass and berry jelly, which was fine but not worthy of ending the meal. A little too boring, a little too it’s-just-berries-and-jelly. Of course by this point I was seriously full anyway, so whatever.
My last soft pairing was disappointing too. It was an elderflower juice, which normally I love, but it was just too f-ing sweet, cloying really. The rest of the soft pairings were absolutely killer so an off one had to happen, I guess. It’s just too bad it happened at the end. The berries were good, I’ll give them that! However, that little tart thing was for Husband, and I was told that because I don’t get one of those, I was given an extra strawberry piece. UM. That’s pretty lame. Like…that takes balls to offer as a substitute.
Aside from the final course and a few complaints here and there, this dinner really was impressive. All the savory dishes and snacks were delicious and interesting, as was the sorbet, though I hate to admit it. What really saved it after the disappointing finale was that they brought two house-made chocolate bars over for us to take home – and one was actually vegan! Similar places never have vegan chocolate! Huzzah! Totally saved. It was dark chocolate with coffee and biscuits, and I don’t like coffee but couldn’t taste it at all. I think it just enhanced the chocolate flavor. So nice!
Our lovely waitress brought over this little token at the end too, how cute!! She really was the best!
THE CLOVE CLUB, SHOREDITCH, LONDON, UK, EUROPE FOR NOW
Water speed: Amazing!! Great job! And it wasn’t tap but it was included dance dance dance! (I’m very cheap.)
Service: Absolutely wonderful. The best waitress in London by far!
Bathrooms: The bathrooms are downstairs, dark and reminiscent of like a brothel in 1800’s New Orleans. You know what I mean? The lighting was dim, the colors were dark reds and browns, and random cosmetics were scattered on display. A very strange mood going on but it was nice and clean, so whatever! Also I liked that the stall was separated from the sink area, despite being a single serve bathroom. People don’t have to wait outside that way, avoiding the awkwardness that comes from that. Oh the toilet seat was hysterically big and weird! That’s enough.
Food: A wonderful meal overall, with only very few missteps. As with all similar fancy but nonveg restaurants, they really could do to up the protein quotient of the vegan menu. They focus on doing vegetables and doing them very well, and I’m not saying add tofu or seitan or something when they don’t use it for the main diners, but add a bean here or there, ya know? And dessert, at least the final one, really could use some work. Other than that, it was splendid.
Bonus: The restaurant has a great atmosphere and makes you feel so special being there! Be cool like hip Shoreditch people! It was the perfect place to celebrate a special occasion. Oh and the biggest bonus – SOFT PAIRING!!!!
Water speed: Amazing!! Great job! And it wasn’t tap but it was included dance dance dance! (I’m very cheap.)
Service: Absolutely wonderful. The best waitress in London by far!
Bathrooms: The bathrooms are downstairs, dark and reminiscent of like a brothel in 1800’s New Orleans. You know what I mean? The lighting was dim, the colors were dark reds and browns, and random cosmetics were scattered on display. A very strange mood going on but it was nice and clean, so whatever! Also I liked that the stall was separated from the sink area, despite being a single serve bathroom. People don’t have to wait outside that way, avoiding the awkwardness that comes from that. Oh the toilet seat was hysterically big and weird! That’s enough.
Food: A wonderful meal overall, with only very few missteps. As with all similar fancy but nonveg restaurants, they really could do to up the protein quotient of the vegan menu. They focus on doing vegetables and doing them very well, and I’m not saying add tofu or seitan or something when they don’t use it for the main diners, but add a bean here or there, ya know? And dessert, at least the final one, really could use some work. Other than that, it was splendid.
Bonus: The restaurant has a great atmosphere and makes you feel so special being there! Be cool like hip Shoreditch people! It was the perfect place to celebrate a special occasion. Oh and the biggest bonus – SOFT PAIRING!!!!
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Morimoto Philadelphia: The Original Sushi Lovers’ Paradise Has Wonderful Vegan Options
Despite living in Philadelphia since Morimoto opened, I never ate there until after I became vegan. It might seem like unfortunate timing to many, but the vegan options are so wonderful that anyone, vegan or omnivore, would be more than satisfied eating fishless here. I called the restaurant when I was helping The Humane League make the new Philly Veg Dining Guide, and the person I spoke with was so excited to talk about their fantastic vegan options that it warranted inclusion.
It’s still milk! |
Now it’s tofu! |
I’ve tried many dishes and still not all of them. I started with the yosedofu, which I’ve heard is one of Morimoto’s most famous and beloved dishes for vegetarians and non-vegetarians alike. Perhaps the most authentic dish on the menu, the yosedofu is a soft tofu that is made at your table. The server brings a clay pot of fresh soy milk to your table, stirs it with a flourish, and covers it for 10-15 minutes. When the time is up, the lid is lifted and you magically have a dish of solid tofu! It usually comes with a crab sauce, but the vegetarian option was some type of carrot-y goo. The tofu was insane, obviously the freshest you could ever imagine, but begged for a strong sauce. This goo was not that sauce. I ended up using a lot of soy sauce to give it the necessary kick. The video below shows the waiter stirring the soy milk for way longer than you need to watch it.
The tofu, now plated
Speaking of the soy sauce, the #1 rule for vegetarian dining at Morimoto is to ask for the vegetarian soy sauce! What kind of soy sauce isn’t vegetarian by default, you ask incredulously? Morimoto’s house soy sauce, that’s what. It’s ‘infused’, or some other fancy word, with fish sauce. E. Gads. Like I said, #1 rule.
Next I tried a dish that I have been craving daily ever since I had it, the cha-soba, which are green tea noodles, chilled, with scallions, wasabi, sesame seeds, and shoyu. I don’t know how these subtle noodles won me over but they did. I didn’t quite get the green tea – maybe I don’t actually know what the flavor of green tea is if it’s not over-steeped actual bitter tea – but there was a special, new taste to them that was lovely. I love noodles. Noodles noodles noodles. Watch them go down. Down into my belly.
Noodles. Every time you eat them, you get smarter.
See you tonight! Sushi! Sushi!
Surprisingly, the sushi rolls were less impressive, though of course delicious. At a place like this, you’d expect even their vegetarian sushi rolls to be as innovative and remarkable as the fishy rolls. But, although the seasonal vegetable maki and the shiitake mushroom rolls were great and I could eat 100 of them, they were basic. They weren’t noticeably better than anything I’d get from the local great but non-veg sushi place. Maybe I’m just super-spoiled by Beyond Sushi, the all vegan sushi joint in NYC, which I have pretty much every single weekend. Okay, I’m definitely spoiled by Beyond Sushi. But shouldn’t Morimoto be better than a counter in Chelsea Market? He needs to add some creative vegan sushi to the menu.
Two of the main entrees can be made vegan, and while I didn’t get them, I will need to next time because they both sound great. One, the ishi yaki bop, is rice cooked with vegetables and tofu (for the veg option) in a hot stone bowl that crispifies the components, like a bi bim bap. I know you are shocked I didn’t get something with the word bop in it. Next time. The other option was another rice and tofu-based dish that sounded wonderful.
Two of the main entrees can be made vegan, and while I didn’t get them, I will need to next time because they both sound great. One, the ishi yaki bop, is rice cooked with vegetables and tofu (for the veg option) in a hot stone bowl that crispifies the components, like a bi bim bap. I know you are shocked I didn’t get something with the word bop in it. Next time. The other option was another rice and tofu-based dish that sounded wonderful.
My favorite dish was the yasai ramen, an already vegetarian soup with vegetable broth, rice noodles, and Japanese vegetables. The vegetables were not as plentiful as I would have hoped (or cut small enough! It got messy), but there were lots of those stick-like mushrooms that I love. And more importantly, the broth was superb. It was the best soup broth I have ever tasted. Stuffed at this point, I still needed to finish this enormous bowl. I would go back and just get this ramen. I wonder if Morimoto does orders for pick-up. This huge bowl of perfect soup was only $12, too, so it’s pretty much the same price as any ramen you’d get from any street corner noodle shop. What a great deal! The rest of the menu is pretty incredibly expensive, but this ramen is so filling and delicious you’d be set just having this and proving to your friends that eating vegan can be cheap, even at four-dollar-sign restaurants! (Just don’t ever split the bill evenly. Ever. Always say, “Nah let’s each pay for what we got.” Jesus.)
Someone remind me what my favorite kind of mushroom is called.
MORIMOTO, PHILADELPHIA
- Water speed: Decent, but the glasses are too small. What is it with fancy restaurants and tiny glasses? Give me enormous beersteins or something!
- Bathrooms: Downstairs and lovely, as expected in fancy restaurants. HOWEVER, my biggest gripe was that one sink was marked as ‘out of order’, but was just running nonstop. I talked to the hostess and she said “Yeah, that’s broken.” I asked if someone was called to SHUT THE WASTING WATER OFF, and she said yes but like, how long does it take to get a plumber to just shut off the water? How long did they let it run? Ughhh stabby.
- Service: It was fine at first, but then in the second half of our meal, our waitress was nowhere to be found. It got so bad that we were going to order dessert, and then too much time went by that it was like bedtime so we just asked another waiter for our check. When it was time to pay, our waitress came back and looked super out of it. I blame the rampant drug problem that occurs behind the scenes at fancy restaurants.
- Food: Delicious and interesting, for the most part. Great place to bring omnivores for a special occasion (it is expensive!)
- Bonus: Eating at an Iron Chef’s restaurant is pretty cool, even if he wasn’t there.
The Best Restaurant in London Is Almost A Secret
I get an email from various London ‘news’ roundups at least every week, no matter how often I mark TimeOut as the spam that it is, boasting that they found, yet again, the best restaurants in London. Not only are many of the reviews in these types of outlets actually sponsored (did anyone think today’s journalists followed ethical guidelines?), but they’re also always wrong. Always. Wrong. How can I say this so assuredly? Because the actual best food in London is at Persepolis.
Persepolis is this tiny, and I mean like baby shoes, cafe located in the back of a shop in Peckham, so when (not if) you go, you’ll be like “oh I can get the bus there in 40 minutes” but no silly you’ve forgotten everything you’ve learned about traveling in London and you will really get there an hour late. The main chef is bright-red-haired firecracker Sally Butcher, author of middle eastern cookbooks including Veggiestan and Snackistan, and despite only having one burner in the cafe, the food she sends out is beyond imagination. She and her Iranian (I think?) husband sell middle eastern sweets and interesting spices and all kinds of fun stuff in the shop (including what is supposed to be the greatest rice cooker ever), and the cafe – now with more than 3 tables AND a toilet – is a flinging flanging gem. The fact that I returned there before I learned that they now have a toilet (they didn’t the first time I went and I had to go into a nearby chicken shop like 8x) says much more about how miraculous the food is than I can say with other words, but I’m going to go on anyway for like 9 more pages probably because that’s how I do.
If you live in London or its surroundings (I’m going to say, for these purposes, that those surroundings stretch to within 2-3 hour flight time), you need to go now till December 23 for their Christmas feast, offered at lunch and dinner times before the baby Jesus’s birthday. For $30 (remember that is GBP but I don’t have the pound sign on my keyboard…though I could have copied and pasted one instead of typing this aside but whatever), you get, well, a feast of Persian delights. It takes a while (our meal took about 3.5 hours) because of that aforementioned single burner, but like I said, it’s the best food in London. It’s hard to remember what everything was, but it was all delicious. NB, we had one or two extra dishes in our feast because I was with a VIP, but even half of this amount of food would have been more than enough, and still an insanely good deal. Considering the quality and the quantity, this feast was more akin to the gutbusting Michelin-starred meals we’ve had, but for the price of, well, not them.
I’m also going to talk about their regular menu at the end so you can see what you might be able to enjoy if you can’t go immediately. But first, the Christmas feast!
As you can see, our table was decorated with a fun Christmassy tablecloth and lots of toys and ribbons. Christmas crackers were on the table waiting for us. Christmas crackers, I have learned, are not a crunchy edible item that smells of cinnamon or something. No, they are cardboard tubes that you pull apart to make a loud obnoxious sound. We all did ours at the same time so all the other diners knew not to mess with us.
We were treated to pomegranate juice Prosecco early on, but it took a very, very long time to get someone’s attention to ask for water, and even longer for them to bring it, so bring a bottle to save you. Finally, our cold mezze arrived.
I’m also going to talk about their regular menu at the end so you can see what you might be able to enjoy if you can’t go immediately. But first, the Christmas feast!
As you can see, our table was decorated with a fun Christmassy tablecloth and lots of toys and ribbons. Christmas crackers were on the table waiting for us. Christmas crackers, I have learned, are not a crunchy edible item that smells of cinnamon or something. No, they are cardboard tubes that you pull apart to make a loud obnoxious sound. We all did ours at the same time so all the other diners knew not to mess with us.
We were treated to pomegranate juice Prosecco early on, but it took a very, very long time to get someone’s attention to ask for water, and even longer for them to bring it, so bring a bottle to save you. Finally, our cold mezze arrived.
Admiral ajvar |
I don’t like yogurt |
These little oil balls were so good
We got a plate of ajvar, a red pepper puree that I learned to love in Sarajevo; a mild rice and pea dish that came with a tangy dilly yogurt sauce; and makhdoush with fresh herbs, Peter Piper’s pickled peppers, and sweet potato crackers. Oh, and every round comes with unlimited baskets of warm lavash or crispy lavashy chips. I think both the flatbread and cracker forms can properly be called lavash, actually. Anyway, all good, but the makhdoush was the one where you’re like, oh snap, this is blowing my mind. The flavors were so complex, it was like spicy and sour and also allspice-y? I have the palate of a fast food fry cook so I can’t identify subtle spices correctly but it was incredible. They are baby eggplants filled with a sort of walnut paste and preserved in oil. That oil was really good to dip the second bread basket into.
After a much less painful wait (considering all we just ate) came the warm mezze, otherwise known as happy fried things.
Persepolis’s delicious kibbeh is filled with chickpeas or surprisingly with chopped walnuts in their fried bulgur croquette-like shell. Their great falafel was also included, and another fried ball that I’m going to say was sweet potato but I really forget. It was all so delicious, but what pushed it over the top was the harissa cole slaw on top. Super spicy yet incredibly flavorful, this was the kind of condiment every fried thing should always come with. I want to make harissa cole slaw and put it on everything now. It’s also a pretty color.
This is probably where normal people would be full, especially because by now we have gone through 4 baskets of bread per head, but we’re just getting warmed up. Next we had a traditional chickpea, spinach, and crispy fried bread dish and a most delicious peanut and Brussels sprouts stew.
This is probably where normal people would be full, especially because by now we have gone through 4 baskets of bread per head, but we’re just getting warmed up. Next we had a traditional chickpea, spinach, and crispy fried bread dish and a most delicious peanut and Brussels sprouts stew.
Fried bread
Yahmmm
These were two of my favorite things. The chickpea, bread, and spinach dish is already a combination of my 3 favorite foods, but it also came in a super thick tahini sauce with a huge dollop of thick as hell tahini cream in the center, so it’s pretty much the perfect dish you could ever create for me. Sally doesn’t even know me. With that taken care of, what’s the next most perfect dish you could give me? Brussels sprouts of that super hard to achieve properly edible texture, in a robust tomato-based peanut sauce full of crushed peanuts. I eat at least 4 peanut-based things per day (usually 4 chocolate peanut butter cups) so this was welcome, and super delicious. Damn. These really seemed tailor-made for me and I am just reveling in the memory of how good they were.
But we’re not done! That was just the mezze/appetizer portion! We haven’t even gotten to the mains. I’m full just remembering all of this.
First came the traditional and very recognizable dolmeh: imam biyaldi (from the webiste), Turkish stuffed aubergines with tomato, onion, and garlic; and Persian stuffed red peppers with rice and nuts. Stuff vegetables are common, almost expected vegan mains and might not seem exciting to you, or me, but even I would happily order this magical plate again. It helped that the oil-dredged roasted veggies came on a bed of thick lavash, rendering the bread soaked through and pretty outstanding in its own right.
But we’re not done! That was just the mezze/appetizer portion! We haven’t even gotten to the mains. I’m full just remembering all of this.
First came the traditional and very recognizable dolmeh: imam biyaldi (from the webiste), Turkish stuffed aubergines with tomato, onion, and garlic; and Persian stuffed red peppers with rice and nuts. Stuff vegetables are common, almost expected vegan mains and might not seem exciting to you, or me, but even I would happily order this magical plate again. It helped that the oil-dredged roasted veggies came on a bed of thick lavash, rendering the bread soaked through and pretty outstanding in its own right.
Magic
The peppers and the eggplant fell apart at the touch of the fork, they were so tender and amazing (and, yes, oil soaked). Oh I almost forgot; you can see in the background the white cabbage wrap as well. It looked like an organ donation from the ice box but it tasted like heaven. The delicious dish came with a tangy peppery relish in a cup and a green salad to offset all the comforting heavy tastes. I really liked how much fresh greenery seemed to abound.
The next main was so unique and special, both in taste and appearance. The chestnut tagine with a buttery basmati rice and shirazi salsa (and more green salad!) showed off chestnuts, chickpeas, and other legumes and vegetables stewed for a very long time in tamarind, resulting in a black dish with extraordinarily deep levels of flavor.
The next main was so unique and special, both in taste and appearance. The chestnut tagine with a buttery basmati rice and shirazi salsa (and more green salad!) showed off chestnuts, chickpeas, and other legumes and vegetables stewed for a very long time in tamarind, resulting in a black dish with extraordinarily deep levels of flavor.
Black magic
It was such a fun dish to eat because, since the stewing left everything black and unidentifiable, you’d pierce an object with your fork and expect, say, a chestnut but then it would be a parsnip, or vice versa, or you’d expect a chickpea and it would be a walnut, &c. You get it. Fun game. Delicious food.
After all of this food, plus 7 baskets of lavash each, we were busting at the seams. But Persepolis’s desserts are just as remarkable as its savory food, so we knew that more challenges awaited us. We did not quite anticipate the extent of those challenges. We all laughed in disbelief, shock, and excitement when our tray of middle eastern sweets arrived with the stern order from Sally that we were to finish every last bite. (Yes ma’am.)
After all of this food, plus 7 baskets of lavash each, we were busting at the seams. But Persepolis’s desserts are just as remarkable as its savory food, so we knew that more challenges awaited us. We did not quite anticipate the extent of those challenges. We all laughed in disbelief, shock, and excitement when our tray of middle eastern sweets arrived with the stern order from Sally that we were to finish every last bite. (Yes ma’am.)
Ne’er hath these eyes beheld a more beauteous sight.
Paklava (for Persian cuisine it’s a p not a b). Turkish delight. Halva. Semolina cake. Coconut bars. That’s just the bottom right corner. I loved the big bowl of pomegranate seeds in the center, making us feel at least a tiny bit healthy. As long as you eat a spoonful of pomegranate seeds between every sugar-soaked piece of phyllo-wrapped pastry, you achieve balance health-wise, though you do have to spend more time in the underworld. It was all so delectable that I’m actually using that word even though it usually makes me cringe. Before we even finished our first pieces, however, Sally came out to test us even further:
At this point I thought I was being punked.
Yup, she dropped mugs full of vegan ice cream in front of each of us. We simultaneously groaned in pain, fear, and absolute delight. Even though they use Swedish Glace (a popular dairy-free ice cream in the UK that, if you take it out of its container and place it on a tabletop overnight, it will melt YET NOT LOSE ITS SHAPE (this is a troubling experiment that my vegans have actually done)), Persepolis has the absolute best sundaes I’ve ever had, so here was a chance to make my own! I simply put everything from that sweets tray into the mug and mashed mashed mashed it up. Perfection. And then I slept and/or cried for 15 hours with my hearing and vision both going in and out as my body focused on digesting instead of anything else.
The Christmas feast includes mint tea or coffee to end, and even though fresh mint tea is my favorite, none of us could stomach another thing, even a liquid. It was an amazing, incredible, unbeatable meal, and for only $30 there’s no better deal, especially in this town. Run don’t walk.
The Christmas feast includes mint tea or coffee to end, and even though fresh mint tea is my favorite, none of us could stomach another thing, even a liquid. It was an amazing, incredible, unbeatable meal, and for only $30 there’s no better deal, especially in this town. Run don’t walk.
A view of the quaint shoppe. You can’t read it from here, but all those little taped signs say the most hilarious things, like “if you can’t control your child we can laminate him for you” or stuff like that.
But what about for the rest of the year? Or what if you aren’t in the mood for a half day of sublime eating (who are you)? You’ll still have the best meal ever. It’ll still take a long time, but it’s worth it. Here are some moments from previous visits. HIGHLIGHTS!
liquids |
solids |
Persepolis has a really interesting drinks menu. Pictured is a mixed carrot and apple juice (I think. I don’t remember) but they offer intriguing things such as a carob, halva, and banana smoothie; a mango, tamarind, and ginger smoothie; and vegan hot chocolate with carob and spices. Foodwise, we started with bread (yay bread) and incredible individual portions of carrot soup. P.S., this was a really long time ago, I didn’t take notes, and I’m making up 70% of it. Just know it was all delicious. I remember that much.
We shared an overstuffed plate of traditional mezze: hummus, falafel, their wonderful kibbeh, tabbouleh, Peter Piper’s pickled peppers, olives, pickled other things including garlic which requires a warning, and lentil chips. All so good. I will never turn down a middle eastern mezze plate especially if there’s hummus, and this was a great batch of everything. I even ate that pickled garlic. I remember that.
The next dish was the most incredible standout, one of Persepolis’s best and most interesting offerings. It’s soft tofu cooked with the most insanely deep-flavored dates of all time. You probably think that sounds disgusting, because I did, and I would never have ordered it if my friend didn’t insist, thanks to her prior knowledge. But this puts all other tofu scrambles to shame. To damn shame. Somehow, these amazing Iranian dates meld with the tofu to create this magical flavor that you never imagined existed. And then it’s all over warm bread. Yes.
The next dish was the most incredible standout, one of Persepolis’s best and most interesting offerings. It’s soft tofu cooked with the most insanely deep-flavored dates of all time. You probably think that sounds disgusting, because I did, and I would never have ordered it if my friend didn’t insist, thanks to her prior knowledge. But this puts all other tofu scrambles to shame. To damn shame. Somehow, these amazing Iranian dates meld with the tofu to create this magical flavor that you never imagined existed. And then it’s all over warm bread. Yes.
Sugar dates and figs! Sugar dates and tofu.
Next is ANOTHER of Persepolis’s standout must-gets! I think maybe everything they make is? Anyway, get the foul medammes because 1) foul is the best, but more importantly b) it comes with eggy za’atar bread, and although it takes ages to make, Sally’s tahini-flavored vegan version is off. the. chiz. arts. I don’t know what all the components are or if it really is just pure magic that I can’t imitate, but it is insane.
Look at that eggy mess of delight
As I said above, Persepolis’s desserts are not to be missed. At one visit, since there were three of us, we ordered three gigantic sundaes to share. Duh.
NOT MY HANDS |
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We got the Knickerbocker sundae and I still don’t know what that is so don’t ask, but I know it was insane amazing. I think it had date caramel, and probably halva, probably chocolate, just definitely get it, okay? We also got the Turkish Delight, which is doused in bright pink rose syrup and lots of bits of sugar-bomb Turkish Delight. This was too much for me, though others seem to love it. It’s sugarrrrrr on another frequency, one that I don’t think I communicate on. But the Hot Paklava Meltdown, our last sundae, was exactly my speed. It’s the vanilla ice cream with, you guessed it, hot syrupy paklava mixed it, so you have to dig in asap before all the ice cream melts. We of course stopped to take pictures because we are vegans with blogs. But oh man, in that mid-melt stage, it’s the best thing you can imagine.
So obviously you can see that Persepolis is not to be missed. Not one thing on their menu is to be missed. If you can’t get to London, you should check out Sally Butcher’s cookbooks. But really, you need her to cook for you. I imagine how I feel about her now is along the lines of how Eric Ripert and all those award-winning NYC chefs feel about that old woman living in a monastery in South Korea who cooks for the monks.
So obviously you can see that Persepolis is not to be missed. Not one thing on their menu is to be missed. If you can’t get to London, you should check out Sally Butcher’s cookbooks. But really, you need her to cook for you. I imagine how I feel about her now is along the lines of how Eric Ripert and all those award-winning NYC chefs feel about that old woman living in a monastery in South Korea who cooks for the monks.
PERSEPOLIS, PECKHAM, LONDON
Water speed: Nonexistent at first, but then they really became attentive.
Service: It depends how crowded the place is. They are doing a million things at once but will be super helpful when they can be.
Bathrooms: There is one now!
Food: The best. Go hungry and don’t expect to eat for the rest of the day.
Bonus: Fun, cozy atmosphere, extremely affordable and so cheap for what you are getting.
