Valletta, Malta: I Didn’t See One Maltese Dog But It Was Still Nice

​We’ve been together on this journey for a while, right? So it’s okay to get a little personal. Today we’re going to talk about what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real. The Real World: China. No we are going to talk about health issues we faced in Beijing, and then be rewarded with a look at our hilarious attempt to fix the little baby laptop in a huuuge Chinese computer parts superstore center where no one spoke English. It’s like an interlude. La la la la…

Just to clear up any potential confusion, no, that lead picture has nothing to do with anything. We just saw it on the street.
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So, first of all, you think Beijing, you probably think air pollution. Luckily, the air pollution levels when we were there never reached high enough levels for an Unhealthy warning alert – according to @BeijingAir on twitter, the best provider for hourly updates and pollution levels. It’s incredibly useful and apparently trustworthy (run by the embassy, not by Chinese government, which has doctored the reports before, apparently). But even in the just ‘Moderate’ and ‘Unsafe for Sensitive Groups’ ranges, we were still uneasy about breathing in so much dangerous particulate matter. I mean, we were outside the whole time, walking around the super busy streets. So we did some research and found a shop in one of the business districts that sells masks. Not surgical masks, which do absolutely nothing, but legitimate face masks that actually filter out many of the dangerous particles. Doctor’s masks and scarves do zilch, p.s. Doctor’s masks, the ones they wear in surgery or at the dentist, and the most prevalent type you will see on people in China and other polluted countries, are only for protecting others (i.e. a patient) from any germs in the doctor’s mucus. They don’t do anything in the other direction, when the wearer is inhaling. It’s just a waste. Scarves, I imagine, are just as useless if not more so. 

We made our way on our first afternoon to Torana Clean Air, a smaller store than we expected with a small range of face masks and room air purifiers. They did have the masks we wanted in the sizes we needed, just not a big range of colors, so we were stuck with this weird octagon color pattern. Whatever, I don’t care what I look like if it’s keeping my lungs safer. The mask is called the Vogmask, and it helps protect from airborne particulate matter and “non-oil airborne particles” like dust, pollen, and, best of all, SECONDHAND SMOKE! I’m gonna wear this baby on the trains so hard! I know that obviously this sort of mask isn’t perfect, but it is good at filtering big and tiny particles, according to studies, and decent at the dangerous sort-of-small particles, so as long as it’s better than nothing and better than a doctor’s mask, I’m happy. I would like to get one of those total face covers with the mouth hole that you blow out of but like I’m already stared at enough here I don’t think I would be able to handle more. 

They were a bit expensive at about $30 USD, but that’s super worth it for something that is helping you not get asthma and lung cancer and all kinds of shit. I do feel like I can’t catch my breath sometimes here, so I will have to see a doctor when we get back about whether China-induced asthma is a thing, but overall it’s okay. Hooray for us looking like fools but acting like smarties! I like being healthy!

So, about that…

After we left Mongolia (hip hip hoorayyy!), I had some abdominal discomfort, like, in and around the kidneys. I was peeing a helluva lot more than usual, which by now you know is a lot anyway, and it wasn’t because of drinking much more fluid, so I was concerned. We decided to go to an international health clinic we had on our emergency list (we have a list of all the hospitals and clinics where we are going where mostly expats go, so they speak English), called Parkway Health. They made a same-day appointment for me and were so nice and professional and I love them. 

It was a hilarious experience, if you forget the part about me not feeling great. With my symptoms, they pretty much just needed to do a urine test. So one of the many nice nurses led me to the bathroom upstairs, but it was locked. She got another nurse, and they both tried lots of random keys to unlock it, but nothing worked. I was just standing around for like 20 minutes. Finally one of them said, “Can you just hold it?” I did my best to communicate, “Um, I don’t just need to pee, you need to test my urine, like that’s the whole point of why I’m here??” Finally they got it open and took my sample off to the lab. Meanwhile, I met the doctor. She was a lady doctor so in your face, riddles. Her English was slightly less wonderful than all the main nurses’, but still good and I felt comfortable with her. She asked if we had been traveling hard for a while, and I explained that yes, we don’t sleep we just take trains to random places for like months now. I said I had just gotten to China from Mongolia AND SHE SHUDDERED. She gets it. I said how we were pretty much in a car for 7 days there where I had to hold my pee all day and I was also dehydrated. She was like no no no this is all bad! Are you sleeping? No I’m not sleeping as much as I should be or usually need to. She was SO CONCERNED. She kept putting her hand on my shoulder like for moral support, that’s how upset she was with like, these very minor complaints. It was like if I became a doctor. I would SO be the doctor telling everyone to sleep more and drink more water and getting so upset if they weren’t doing enough of either. She was like, listen, you need to sleep more, you need to drink more water, you need to eat berries, especially red ones (amazing medicine). Then she hit a language snag and said, “You need…it’s in Chinese pingwan (or pingyan I don’t know)…just….lying down on the bed is good.” I THINK SHE WAS TRYING TO TELL ME TO TAKE NAPS. I love this doctor! The results came back and showed signs of infection, and given the symptoms was 99% a UTI. Which, given how many jokes I made about getting UTIs in my recent posts, shows that the universe looooves messing with me. 

​We went over the things that can cause a UTI and kind of just laughed:

Dehydration – CHECK
Holding urine – CHECK
Long car rides/travel – CHECK
Squatting instead of sitting when urinating – CHECK CHECK (all that business about how it’s better anatomically to squat is just for #2; for #1 for women it leads to incomplete emptying which leads to infection in the urinary tract which issss UTI)
Poor hygiene – CHECK did you READ the Mongolian outback post?

I mean, every single thing! Man alive! She put me on a cycle of antibiotics (and I’m all better, p.s., this blog is on a 2-week tape delay). I went to the waiting room and told Z the good news (not sarcasm; it’s a simple easily treatable thing, that’s good news). Then I said, “The doctor said I need to sleep more, drink more water, and eat berries.” Z responded, “Oh SURE she did. Did she also order you to pet more small dogs??” I almost passed out laughing so hard and had a very hard time convincing him that doing more of my favorite things was indeed doctor’s orders. 

 I’m relieved that we went to a real doctor who believes in medicine and fixed me up. And mostly, I’m super grateful for our UK health insurance, which covers us worldwide and immediately gave the clear when the receptionists contacted them so we didn’t even have to pay out of pocket first. We area so lucky to have such good insurance that covers us everywhere we go  – well, except in the USA. It covers us in freaking China and will continue to cover us in Kazakhstan and everywhere else, but it can’t cover the USA because their healthcare system is too much of a mess. Every other country is fine though! Jesus America. 

Okay that’s enough about my insides! Here’s the treat I promised you (plus one more hilarious treat at the bottom) about our adventures in Beijing’s super intense electronics scene. One whole section of the city seems to be electronic parts superstores, selling all types of gadgets but most of all doing repairs and crazy customization of gadgets. Little baby laptop’s fan stopped working, so we took it to this section of the city and just dove in headfirst. We entered one of the giant buildings, and were greeted with four floors of indistinguishable counters with Chinese guys gadgeting huge messes of gadgets. We went over to one counter that we chose randomly and showed the guy the computer and mimed a fan turning with our hands and then did a NO gesture. He got it. Unfortunately, he didn’t have the part. We tried the next counter, and a guy was just not into trying to figure anything we were miming out (not as many English speakers as you might expect in such a city!). Onward! The guy at the next counter was in, and he rebooted the computer a few times and determined that the fan wasn’t actually broken, but that something was stopping it, so he needed to just go in there and clean the parts instead of replacing them. How we communicated this is a feat of human interaction and behavior because it did not happen with actual language. 

So we watched as he took apart the entire little netbook, because since it’s so small everything is under the keyboard, and he really had to take every last piece out. Like, we went down to the motherboard. Little baby was in 30 pieces! And to check if what he did worked, he had to put it all together again, all the tiny little barely visible screws that each have a very specific part they go with so you have to keep all these tiny screws straight and it’s a mess! Of course, the first go-round didn’t jive well with the computer, because it refused to work! So back apart it all went, a little more fixing, and then back together. Oh it was EXCRUCIATING to watch. How can people watch actual surgeries?! Finally he did a few more rounds of fiddling and it was back! It took over an hour of stress and just sitting in the super hot warehouse with people staring at us like whaaat are these tourists doing here. We also increased the computer’s RAM (I think that means it has horns now!) and we got a Chinese power cord so we don’t have to keep plugging it in with an adaptor, and it all came to I think 230 RMB, which is less than $35. Not bad! It was kind of fun to have the kind of electronics experience usually reserved to locals who have a clue what they are doing with electronics. It was definitely out of the ordinary and cool to see. 

Okay, one more random thing, I guess relating to health? At the checkout at most grocery stores we went to, they have tons and tons of condoms where in the USA there would be, like, gum and candy bars. It’s a little disconcerting but hey, China is serious about birth control which is good! But one brand jumped out at us and we were CRACKING up. 

UH HUH, that’s a condom brand called JISSBON. So shocking and hilarious! But it gets better, if you can believe it. Our Chinese friend said that jissbon is ACTUALLY WHAT CHINESE PEOPLE CALL JAMES BOND. So this condom line is named after James Bond! And it JUST HAPPENS TO SOUND HYSTERICALLY PERFECT FOR A CONDOM. Omg I can’t even believe. The writing underneath says something like “you can’t even see it”, something very 007 spy-like. Ahh it’s so funny! 

Okay that’s all the random thoughts I have for today. And don’t worry Mom I’m all better and it was like nothing! 

​After our lovely time in Chengdu, I said a tearful goodbye to the Fraser Suites and we headed towards Xi’an for four days. We knew we had to see the Terra Cotta Warriors, and we were super excited for a change of pace foodwise. Xi’an is in a section of China that is heavily Muslim, so there would be mosques to see instead of Buddhist temples, and the city has a famous food stall market in the Muslim Quarter that was supposed to be amazing. And it was, although the rest of our time there left us a little less than thrilled. Like I’ve been saying for a month now, we cannot get used to the lack of awareness for other people – the pushing, the walking into others and having no one bat an eye. It’s not like Chinese people are trying to be rude or pushy or anything! It just is. Like we watched a woman on her phone walk straight into another person and neither of them flinched. We are definitely the weird ones here being like WHY ARE YOU PUSHING ME and we will never get used to that! 

Aside from that though, I guess we enjoyed our time in Xi’an. To get there, we got on – you know it – another sleeper train. It was PRAISE BUDDHA cleaner and slightly nicer than the last few have been! It was still a K train, so the same style and overall look, but our bags actually fit under the bunks, the sheets weren’t noticeably stained with the residue of Other People, the sink drained into a pipe and not onto the floor, and there was actually soap in there! Also, the strangers we shared with were fine. There was one lady who stayed in the hallway the entire time until sleepytime, and then there was an older couple sitting on the other bottom bunk until the man went to sleep in another room. I was nervous that they were gonna be sharing the bed (as we’ve heard some couples do to skirt buying two tickets) and we’d have 3 adults with us but luckily that wasn’t the case. And luckily, it was the man who left us, because a) it’s always better to room with women (sorry it is true from all these months of train travel), and VERY MUCH BECAUSE b) the man was farting all evening. It was SO BAD! Old man farts! I had to wear my mask it was nauseating. His farts were worse than smoke oh my god it was atrocious. When it was apparent that he was the one leaving us we finally breathed out of our noses and shouted BYE FARTY DON’T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU IN THE ASS OR MORE FARTS MIGHT COME OUT. 

​We got to Xi’an and headed to our hostel, the Seetang Youth Hostel. Um, our room didn’t have windows. That’s not good. Well, it did have one piece of wall that opened, but it opened into the hallway, which does not count as a window and also WHO would use that and let strangers look at them in bed? Weirdest. The walls were extremely thin, and we heard all the usual hostel noise – people shouting at all hours, people listening to music at all hours, people stomping about like they are trying to break through the floors. It was loud, is what I’m saying. And people were smoking everywhere! I asked the main staffer if smoking was allowed everywhere and she looked horrified and said no but guess who did nothing about the rampant smoking everywhere, that’s right she and the rest of her staff. Blargh. She also said they had laundry on ‘the fifth floor’ and I spent a long while searching the big building for stairs that led anywhere to a fifth floor but couldn’t find it. We later learned that the fifth floor was actually THE ROOF. I did not do laundry. 

The bed and bathroom were fine at least and relatively clean, so it was overall fine. The turn right before it was a trash alley so that stunk (lolol) to have to walk that every time we came and went. But was good to stay in a place we didn’t want to actually stay in all day I GUESS. So we did more in Xi’an than we did in Chengdu – which also means we were out in the crowds most of the time. By now, we have zero patience left. We’ve been in China for a month, with more to go, and we are soooo done with the pushing and shoving and lack of regard for anyone else’s personal space or even person. A small boy jumped off a ledge and landed ON Z’S LEGS. Like a monkey. Z was like WHAT THE F IS HAPPENING and the boy just ran off like it was nothing. I CANNOT. 

We arrived in Xi’an covered in sleeper train residue and ready to eat some good Muslim food. We took a taxi to the hostel (it was easier than navigating the subway or buses in our state), which caused us a great deal of anguish as all taxi rides here have. Every time, the driver either yells at us in Chinese or overcharges us or does some miscellaneous stupidness that we can’t do anything about and it’s so frustrating. But anyway. We got to the Seetang, showered in the windowless room, and went out in search of food. Our hostel was about 10 or 15 minutes walk from a big mall, which is always promising, and we found exactly what we wanted on the top floor – a food court! Now, Chinese mall food courts are unnecessarily complicated affairs. In Bangkok, I remember we had to purchase little credit card type things in advance and put a certain amount of money on them and then go to the different vendors for food and pay with the card. It was a little complicated, but it was clearly laid out and we figured it out. In China, a lot of food courts do similar things as far as prepaying goes, but they make no sense. No signs, no visible station or person selling the cards or even just taking money. It’s all very confusing, and no one is willing to work with us by using nonverbal communication to try to figure it out. NO ONE POINTS. We try to use clearcut hand signals while trying to say Chinese words and 100% of the time Chinese people will just continue to shout at us in Chinese with no attempt at meeting us halfway, or even 10%. Seriously, how do Italians stand being in China? NO one will use their hands. For instance, like with numbers. If we ask if there are 1 or 2 of something, it’s pretty easy to guess what we are getting at using our hands, and very easy to give the correct answer. But instead, they will just say the Chinese word for 1 or 2. Ahhh. 

Anyway, I was getting very hangry and had just pointed to some vegetables in the food court and they wouldn’t let me pay because I had to have paid beforehand (not a card thing, just paying a random lady in advance). HOW DO YOU PAY BEFORE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT OR CAN EVEN GET. FFS I hate stupid systems. Luckily someone took money out of my hand and walked to another end of the hall to a random woman behind a counter just like all of them, and then came back with my change and a receipt?? How was I supposed to figure any of that out? Oh China why do you HATE ME. 

​Luckily, they had easily identifiable bowls of vegetables and I ate them and it was okay in the end. 

Next door to the food court was a Coco Bubble Tea so I was happy!

​The mall of course rewarded our struggles with some nice signage:

​After eating, we walked around town and saw the Bell Tower and the Drum Tower, the two big sights of the city center that are nicely visible from most of the city center. We visited them both another day (and walked around them 10x every day), and I like that they face each other across a little expanse of crazy busy city, like two pillars in the face of modernity, amid the chaos. 

So, the Bell Tower is smack in the center of everything – on like an impenetrable traffic island surrounded by the main roads and separating everything important from each other. Meaning, to cross the main roads in the very center of things (which we did 100x a day), you have to go underground and use this enormous underpass circle of hell. It was always packed and hot and loud and PACKED DID I SAY PACKED and just kind of annoying to have to go up and down, up and down (I will lead them up and down, I am feared in field and town…can’t help it) all the time and around and around. One bend of this circle of hell is the metro station, one is the exit to our favorite little street that led to the Muslim Quarter/Market, and one is the Bell Tower ticket window and entrance, which at all times of day and night had a super long line of tourists waiting to buy tickets. BIGGEST TIP FOR VISITING: Go to the Drum Tower first, because you can buy combined tickets for both towers there, and thus can skip the crazy underground line for the Bell Tower. The crowds inside both actually seemed the same, yet the line at the DrumT was maybe 3 people long, so I guess the ticket sellers and takers at the DrumT are just more efficient than the BellT. We felt like SUCH BADASSES walking past that endless line of Chinese domestic tourists at the BellT and flashing our combined tickets and just strolling right through. 

​Both towers date from the 14th century but were renovated or reconstructed in different subsequent centuries. The Bell Tower would ring its bell at dawn, and the Drum Tower would beat out dat rhythm on its drums to mark dusk. Cute. I like the Drum Tower more, maybe because it was coverd with drums, LIKE IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE, while the Bell Tower had ONE MEASLY BELL. 

​I liked these sites though because they were quick and easy to navigate, leaving ample time for more important things – exploring the Market food and getting sooo many fun drinks. Okay, we will save all that for the end because it’s the best part. 

​Another day, we took the metro (again, completely identical to every Chinese city’s metro) to the Big Goose Pagoda, also known as the Wild Giant Goose Pagoda, also called (by me) the HEHE GOOSES Pagoda. We went on the hottest day, and it was a 30-40 minute walk from the nearest subway station so it was rough (there’s actually a station literally on its grounds, but google maps didn’t know about it you stupid pos I hate you I HATE YOU). The pagoda is apparently Xi’an’s most famous landmark, which seems like b.s. to me but that’s probably because of the crowd. It was bad, guys. See there’s a lot of shit happening at this pagoda. First of all, it’s another of those double ticket ordeals – you buy a ticket to the grounds and then find out it doesn’t include the pagoda. When you walk a little more, there’s another ticket office for the pagoda itself. i hate that b.s. No one is entering these little bits of grounds and not going to the pagoda. It puts me in a horrid mood. Anyway, fine, two tickets needed, got it. But no. In all of China, there’s been preeeeetty decent set ups for tourist sites with stairs specifically for going up and then another set for going down, to help the crowd flow. Even at the Bell and Drum Towers they had this. But the Pagoda was the first place I can remember that not only didn’t, but only had one teeny tiny thin winding stairway AND didn’t control the flow of guests. So we climbed up seven floors with the worst of humanity. There were children pushing through legs with their parents doing nothing to stop them; men pushing you from behind to what, make you go faster?; and overall just horribly behaved people. It was terrifying and terrible, trying to climb these stairs. It was also very hot, 98 degrees outside, and at least 15 degrees hotter in this unventilated narrow building. As you may have guessed, it was not my favorite visit. 

​I liked that the pagoda, from the 7th century, is situated among all these modern office buildings, but you can see that from outside. Inside the only benefit was exercise. There was nothing else going for it. 

​A site we absolutely loved was the Great Mosque, hidden behind the crazy busy Muslim Quarter’s Market. It’s very centrally located and yet provides a drastic change to the chaos outside its walls – it provides calm and peace. It’s a beautiful mosque, mixing Islamic traditions with Chinese architecture to make a very interesting and pleasant space. The Muslims working there and praying there made us feel very welcome, smiling at us and shaking Z’s hand. It was a necessary respite from the craziness of the city and was really beautiful. It felt nice to visit this sacred spot before eating ALL OF THEIR FOOD outside in the market. 

​And, before we get to that part, we of course have to talk about the #1 thing to do in Xi’an – visit the Army of Terra Cotta Warriors. You know these guys, you’ve seen pictures. Honestly, the pictures are better. The TCW is the biggest shitshow in all of China. Everything else that I’ve said is ‘so crowded and so pushy and so demoralizing’ PALES in comparison to this situation (except the Big Goose Pagoda in the height of summer; that was indeed shit). People push and walk into you with no regard for any of your space even between your toes just RAM right into you no matter where you are. 

​Anyway. To get there, we walked 45 minutes to the train station to get a bus for 8 yuan that goes to the site. Even though the bus has ‘terra cotta warriors’ painted on the side, it still made some stops along the way. The book and the lady who directed us onboard said it just took an hour but because of the stops and stuff it was closer to an hour and a half. Okay, fine. But noooo. This POS bus driver dropped us down the road from the entrance, and across the street. And not some suburban little road either, oh no, it was a highway. That we had to walk along and cross. WTF, STUPID F-ING BUS. I’m still livid at them. Other buses were clearly dropping off at the entrance. We crossed with the rest of the passengers for safety in numbers but it was still ridiculous and terrifying. Finally we go inside, and we can’t find any signs for ticket office. We see endless rows of stalls and kiosks selling food and crappy crap and drinks and lanterns and string and stuff and NO TICKET OFFICE. We walked for more than 20 minutes and finally saw a sign for the ticket office. Inside that building was a long line, and tickets cost 150 yuan, around $23 each. After you exit with tickets, you walk ANOTHER 20 minutes through a maze and a park to the actual site. By this point we had cursed more than we ever had in our lives. There are several buildings on the grounds – all poorly signed, of course, and nothing in English. We figured out from a map which buildings were Pits 1, 2, and 3, the main things to see. This of course after we went in a building that was a worthless small museum. Most people do the pits in order, but DON’T. It will make everything even worse. We did 2-3-1 and I recommend that, or do 3-2-1, but whatever you do, save Pit 1 for last. It’s the only one that’s actually cool. Pit 2 is the most boring, with most of it just surrounding an excavation site that is mostly sand with nothing to show for it really. Pit 3 is slightly less boring, with a few things actually visible. Pit 3 seems to be the army headquarters, and many of the greatest warrior finds are army officers, generals and such, who are encased in glass around the perimeter. Pit 1 is where the real Army is. Pit 1 is the best, but it is the pits in terms of crowds and pushing. I’m sorry I’m such a broken record so here are pictures. 

​It was definitely the right choice to do it in this order, to be able to end on a high note. Well, on a Middle C, considering how…underwhelming it all is. The warriors are scattered in different pits and rarely can you catch a glimpse through the throngs of people where they actually look as cool as they do in pictures. Okay, don’t get me wrong, I sound ridiculous, I know. It is a VERY AWESOME architectural site, it’s just that it has been hyped beyond what it actually is. If you haven’t seen pictures taken from just the perfect spot to make it look like it goes on forever with intricate statues, then you will be impressed. Or, hey, if you just DON’T GO IN THE SUMMER, you’ll have a better experience (honestly if you go any place in China NOT in summer, you’ll have a better experience than I did in said place). 

​There aren’t really signs explaining what’s even going on – I didn’t see any in Chinese either, but people could have been blocking them – so I learned from our guidebook. The Warriors are more than 2000 years old, and there are thousands of them, still being excavated. They stand as guardians to the tomb of Qin Shi Huang (his actual tomb is illegal to visit), China’s first unifier. They were only discovered in the 1970s, which must have turned the world upside down. 

I know you are probably shaking your head at me like ‘girl do you just complain about everything, this site is amazing’ and it really is, it’s just that a) if it wasn’t hyped to high heaven it would have been more enjoyable and really b) if we didn’t have to fight tooth and nail to get a look at any of it, I’m sure we would have loved it. CHINA IN SUMMER IS NO JOKE. There’s a reason they tell westerners not to go now. OH OH AND C) if the grounds were designed as a labyrinth meant to claim 90% of visitors as victims to its non-navigable twist and turns and impasses and OMG JUST HAVE SIGNS AND NOT AN HOUR OF BULLSHIT TO GET TO THE TICKETS. 

Getting back to town was even worse. 

There were no signs ANYWHERE for buses. We walked for ages through a maze of parking lots and random buildings and kiosks – still on the grounds – before we found signs for buses. They went to Xi’an North Station, which is quite far from the downtown and isn’t the main station. All we finally saw for the main station – for getting freaking to the city from this huge site – was a hand-written piece of printer paper taped to a pole that said ‘Xi’an Station’. So we followed the arrow drawn on it to the street and found a lady who said ‘Xi’an?’ We said yes and she dragged us onto a PACKED bus, with no seats. We said nah we will wait for the next one. Then that bus pulled ahead and stopped a bit farther along the curb, and she yelled go go go! and forced us to get on the same exact bus! The three of us were in the aisle trying to figure out if maybe there were seats and then before we could get off because there weren’t, it was too late! Ahhh we were freaking out. The crazy lady – who was ALSO onboard now – starting pulling random kids out of seats and putting them elsewhere, like putting 3 kids in 2 seats, to make seats for us. And we couldn’t tell her to stop so it was just soo embarrassing. And then it cost 10 yuan instead of 8! I was so mad about it all but then it got us back faster than the bus there so whatever. Oh what a mess EVERYTHING we try to do here is! 

OK. FOOD TIME. 

This is where I LOVED Xi’an. We went to a few restaurants but mostly ate at the Muslim Quarter market, which was sooo much fun. First, I’ll share the good food we had at Ding Ding Xiang restaurant, a recommendation from our guide book that had good food. A man started smoking and we complained to a waitress, and instead of stopping it, she brought him a bowl to use as an ashtray. Oh ffs, China. We moved upstairs (so many restaurants have so many empty floors) and they protested no don’t go up there! but we were like, we’re either sitting away from the man you’re allowing to smoke in here or we are leaving. So they relented and luckily the food was good. I couldn’t walk away from a place that actually had vegetables! So hard to find in these parts. 

From above, we had sauteed sesame spinach, sword beans and roasted eggplant, and cabbage with tofu. All of it was so good! There was a lot of food too, so we brought leftovers back to the hostel fridge for the next day (which was a travel day, so this was necessary). Unfortunately, the shitty Seetang staff didn’t know how to open the room with the fridge when we left the next morning so we lost our leftovers. SO SAD. God customer service here is abysmal. But the food is good! 

I also found good vegetables at what we think was Muslim Family Restaurant, part of the Muslim Quarter but a sit-down place instead of only stalls on the street. (They had a kebab counter out front as part of that.) They had a salad bar type set up of veggie dishes, and it was a little hard at first to communicate that that’s all I wanted, and then we learned to ask them for ‘side dishes’ and it was clear! I just pointed to which of the 8 or so dishes I wanted on my plate and it cost like 15 yuan. It was all fine and I went several times to find veggies because there were none in the market. 
​

And then we went to the Muslim Quarter market literally every day at least once, for breakfast fruit and fresh juices, for fun tofu and potato things and endless noodles, and for dessert and incredible fresh coconut milk at night. I’m gonna share a lot of pictures now of everything amazing we ate. 

One thing you can count on finding every few seconds is a potato-based stall and a tofu-based stall. I had 3 different amazing kinds of street tofu and they were all excellent, and they all cost 10 yuan each (like $1.50?) for a big cup of it. We also really enjoyed these street potatoes – they were super hot and super spicy but really incredible. 

The market is also a world-class location for eating carbs. We had noodles! We had bread! Then we had more noodles! And more bread! Luckily, Xi’an famous noodle dishes are often just the sesame noodle variety, so they will be vegan. The noodle stalls that will add meat are easy to clearly see since you watch everyone make your food. 

But my favorite part had to be all the incredible fresh fruit and the juices juiced from them. Oh man, the fruit in China has been amazing and the market was overflowing with it. I especially loved the cup of fresh jackfruit! In the mad takeover of the cooked-jackfruit-tastes-like-pulled-pork discovery in the vegan world, I’d forgotten that the fruit itself is so good. And pomegranates! Sooo much pomegranate abounded everywhere we looked it was glorrrrious. 

For the first time, there were actually vegan options for dessert! First up is this glutinous rice patty on a stick that is dipped in tamarind paste and/or other jams (there’s an assortment if you want to dip) and crushed nuts. Pretty good! Although it is kind of bland in the center (it’s a lot of rice!) so I recommend covering it in as much crap as possible. There’s a lot of glutinous rice stuff around, including a big yellow cake-looking thing that is cut into slices – these are literally every 5 seconds around the city center. Fortunately, it’s just more glutinous rice with a slight covering of slightly sweet osmanthus paste (that’s a fruit? I think? that is huge here?), so it is vegan, but unfortunately, it’s just a big slab of unsweetened glutinous rice so is not at all worth it. 

Next is the thing I’m prettttty sure is vegan – the persimmon donuts. We showed one of the ladies making them the words for ‘egg’ and ‘milk’ and asked if they were in them, and she shook her head no, and clearly understood, so I am kiiiind of confident that that was the truth. The ones pictured at the pretty stall below are the best ones, with three different fillings – a tamarindish one, a peanutty one, and a maybe jaggery? Who even knows. The consistency is very much like mashed sweet potato, not a bread-y donut, which made me feel better about the possibility of it being vegan. They were really good, especially hot, and especially if you get a lot of the filling in yours. 

But maybe the very best thing in the whole market is the fresh coconut milk. Erma p, it was SOOO DELICIOUS! More delicious than the So Delicious brand! Oh man I wish I could get one now. 

Honestly the food in Xi’an was the best part of our time in the city! I really had no idea until Jojo at veganinbrighton told me! I’d been worrying about finding anything at all and she was like, um, dude. I never would have thought the food would be so fun and the thing I was most excited for – the Terra Cotta Warriors – would be simply good and not amazing. 

I leave you, as usual, with amazingly ridiculous things we saw around Xi’an, including restaurant names, song lyrics as a store name, and the weirdest thing in any Apple store ever in the history of the world.