Eating in Madrid, Spain: All-Vegan Bar Food at B13

July 29, 2015

In our short time in Madrid, we weren’t able to hit all the vegan spots I put on my list. (I was saving my food-tour kind of living for Austin.) Adding to the struggle was that we found at least two spots closed when they were supposed to be open. (I hate Uncle Siesta!) Luckily, we did get to eat at B13, an all-vegan bar the name of which I assume refers to how they’re even better than vitamin b12. Or that like b12, vegans need them. I doubt it’s that. It’s a cool, chill, punk-ish hole-in-the-wall with an unreliable but fun menu. The food was decent, nothing extraordinary, and at times hilarious, but it was just a treat to have an entirely vegan place, even if that place smelled of spilled beer and felt like it too.

globbible

We were very hungry after a day of walking and wandering, so we were happy when they brought a complimentary starter of bread and ‘salad’. Or were we? This was one of the most hilarious plates of food. In the middle of two pieces of bread was a mayonnaise-y clump of mayonnaise, as far as I could tell. Or potato salad, but the mayo outweighed the presence of potato and other vegetables. Yes, it was vegan (doesn’t look like it!), but still, there’s not much that’s appetizing about a big puddle of mayo, vegan or not. Not the most auspicious start, although it did taste okay in little bites. It’s hard to tell, but this was a huge portion. We tried to attack it at various points in the meal but it was just too much for our soft Western feet.

Not having had enough beige, our first food order was calamari. Having fried calamari on the menu was a main reason I wanted to go to B13, because it used to be my faaavorite. And guess what that came with? More bread!

beige food, beige food, a-whatcha gonna do

The calamari was pretty good! It didn’t have a discernible fishy taste, which I think is a good move, and it was maybe more like very chewy onion rings, but it was one of the more enjoyable fried foods I’ve eaten. The hunk of bread we could have done without. Perhaps a salad (not of mayo) would have complemented it better.
I was also lured to B13 because it actually has vegan Spanish omelette, the staple dish of potato-filled omelette. It’s so good and I really really wanted a vegan version. Guess what. None that day. They also were out of the croquettes, which sounded great. Arghaaanauts.

For our mains, we created two combo platters. The combo platter situation was quite something. You can pick one item from three different sections, which we did. So, three separate items, okay. One of ours came out as expected, like a full plate of food. But one was kind of funny in execution. For this unexpectedly funny one, we chose the sausages, the green peppers, and hummus. Like, it was three foods. On a plate. Just chilling. This is kind of weird, right?

I mean, yes, here we have sausages, hummus, and peppers, which we did order, but they’re just, I don’t know, sitting there! All the components are just sitting there. I don’t know, it’s a weird plate! This also came with a basket of bread. It’s like a deconstructed plate of food or something. Weird. The peppers were really great, grilled until they were super soft. Although I may have just been excited about seeing a non-mayoed vegetable. No they were good. And the hummus was quite enjoyable, as almost all hummus is, despite it being the first food that needed bread but the 3rd dish that came with bread.
The other combo platter we made was the breaded seitan steak with salad and onion rings. Hrm. This seitan steak was…weird. It was super soft ‘seitan’, like you could tell it was maybe made with flour and not vital wheat gluten and not made correctly, and it was suuuuper sweet. It actually tasted like a maple syrup-covered pancake. But it was seitan. Husband couldn’t eat it. I tried. I did not fully succeed.

At least this plate looks more like an actual plate of food, right? And that salad was so good. Well, it was average normal green salad with tomatoes and carrots, but I was so happy to see it after all this beige. The onion rings were decent but unnecessary. If I returned, I would combo platter the burger, which we didn’t try and I bet is really good just because of odds, the salad, and the peppers.
This is the point where our story gets very very sad. One of the best parts about B13 is that they have soy milkshakes! And milkshakes are one of the best foods out there! The availability of milkshakes was my #1 reason for wanting to go to B13. You’ve probably already guessed what happened: no milkshakes that day. Sadface.
They did have one last piece of cream cake. Or pie. I am not really sure what this was, but it had a wide layer of light thick sweet cream that was just really really good. The wondrous fluffy cream came on top of a spongy vanilla cake layer, and it was all topped with delicious caramel-ly crushed nuts. So yay for that.

thank you. thank you. thank god for you.

B13, MADRID, SPAIN
Water speed: Hooray for a carafe, though refills were slow.
Service: Staff is mostly behind the bar, which we were near, so we could talk to them easily.
Bathrooms: One or two very typical bar bathrooms.
Food: Disappointing if you want great food (or anything you were jonesing for on the menu), but good if you just need somewhere vegan.
Bonus: An all-vegan place in the middle of any city is pretty cool!