Veganz, Berlin: If Heaven Had A Storefront...by Randi / September 17, 2014
To celebrate our engagement, husband and I decided to treat ourselves to a fancypants dinner at Lucky Leek, an upscale all-vegan restaurant in Berlin. The food was stellar, but there were a few issues that prevent me from completely raving about it. However, based on the food alone I would definitely have to recommend Lucky Leek if you are looking for something lavish and delicious.
The restaurant itself was decorated simply and nicely, with lots of fresh plants and clean white and black decor. The menu options sounded delicious and was heavy on the spargel (asparagus), because it was spring and spargel (our new favorite word to say) was everywhere. We decided to each get the Chef’s Menu, which offered about five solid courses and several additional items. We got this for one good reason and one dumb reason (restaurant’s fault): Good reason: It sounded delicious and we were doing what Retta was telling us to do. Dumb reason: Only with the two of us getting the expensive 50 euro Chef’s Menu would we be able to hit the restaurant’s incredibly lame and stupid 100 euro credit card minimum. I mean…what restaurant on earth has a credit card minimum that high? That is super lame.
The only thing dumber? The restaurant would not give us tap water – you had to buy bottled water. I have never encountered this shittiness anywhere in the world. Even in cities where drinking the tap water would kill you, restaurants would still happily give it to you for free. Okay that’s a bad example but still. I am still battling rising blood pressure thinking about how stupid this is. If the food wasn’t so good, I would say let’s picket Lucky Leek with fire hoses until they give us free tap water. I mean, let’s do that anyway because I am starting to super hulk out again, but still, you should eat here because it is so damn good.
The only thing dumber? The restaurant would not give us tap water – you had to buy bottled water. I have never encountered this shittiness anywhere in the world. Even in cities where drinking the tap water would kill you, restaurants would still happily give it to you for free. Okay that’s a bad example but still. I am still battling rising blood pressure thinking about how stupid this is. If the food wasn’t so good, I would say let’s picket Lucky Leek with fire hoses until they give us free tap water. I mean, let’s do that anyway because I am starting to super hulk out again, but still, you should eat here because it is so damn good.
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We began with a really delicious amuse-bouche sent out from the kitchen with “our compliments”, which was nice but I was like “a better compliment would have been free tap water, yo. Or at least tell me I’m pretty.” Anyway, the amuse was a toasted carrot sandwich with a pepper and a pickle on top. It was delicious! I could have had 100 of them!
Our first real course was this fantastic salad that featured a raw zucchini roll-up filled with amazing truffled cheesy cream (I think the phrase cream cheese is disgusting even though I am from Philadelphia (snaps)). The salad was arugula, fancy carrots, and salted almonds in a potato dressing. I don’t really know what that means, but it was delicious. The main focus of the plate aside from the zucchini roll-up was kohlrabi carpaccio which was fantastic. Fanciest salad ever!
* Next up was this ‘spring consomme’, which was a lovely French-oniony soup with like wonton balls in the middle. Delicious wonton balls! It said it came with herbed pancake strips but I don’t remember that being the case, unless those little squares are the strips. The wonton was a cheesy semolina dumpling that was really yummy. * The standout dish was next, the pasta. I wrote in my notes that this ravioli dish was perfect! It had a ridiculously large spear of spargel across the top, and the ravioli was filled with more spargel! (Remember spargel is asparagus. We learn languages on this show!) The ravioli pasta itself was superb with that perfect chewiness and taste. It was in a Hollandaise sauce that was not disgusting; it was in fact delicious. The dish was spotted with beluga lentil samsa (which Google tells me is just a misspelled samosa, which wasn’t the case here) that was the perfect spargel accompaniment. It also was topped with ‘sage panache’ but that just sounds like a dapper old wise man. Like the nicest way to describe a dandy British man. That bloke is full of sage panache. Hahahahah. * THEN THEY GAVE US FRUIT SORBET TO CLEANSE OUR PALATES LIKE WE WERE FREAKING ROYALTY OR SOMETHING. It was melon and rose hip sorbet and it was so lovely! It throws me a little though to have dessert before the main main. (As a vegan, even the blandest lightest sorbet is usually our dessert, so my brain was like, oh man it’s over? And then it was hard to get out of that.) * The main main, or piece de resistance, as the menu actually said, was a “Seitan and Onion Roast Joint“, which I assume is similar to a Spike Lee Joint, but more delicious and filling and less upsetting in most ways. It came with potato and carrot puree, which is the kind of thing I make a lot (a LOT a lot) but obviously not as perfectly as this was. It also came with pak choy, which as far as I know is bok choy, but in Europe they call it pak choy and I kind of love the discrepancy and kind of hate it. But I love love bok/pak choy! And I will always welcome more greens on my plate! It was the perfect unexpected Asian accompaniment to the meat and potatoes. The joint was also topped with a beet and walnut confit and just wow everything was perfect. * Then came real dessert, a trio of uhhhmazing cake and cream confections. In the center was the raspberry cake, which was good but fruit flavored dessert is not my favorite when it could easily be chocolate instead. Much MUCH better was to the left, the coconut and nougat tartlet. Yes, that’s right, this entire meal was sponsored by the first Jon Lovitz episode of “Friends”. The crust of the tartlet (hehehe) was a bit shortbready, which normally I hate because it feels like my teeth are hurting, but this was fantastic – and cold, which helps. That middle layer of coconut nougat was incredible. Oh man. Just the most perfect layer of cream imaginable. Lastly, probably my favorite component was the mocha banana ice cream with the chocolate praline sticking out of it. I don’t usually like mocha or coffee flavors, but this was mostly banana with just a hint of something deeper and bolder. And I love ice cream so much. I don’t like that the amount of ice cream in this and every single restaurant is just that little ball that is so difficult to eat because you end up smearing most of it around the plate and you’re like, am I allowed to lick the plate? And you are like no, but then they should have just given you a large bowl of it to begin with. Anyway, it was fantastic, and that chocolate praline was like those really thin and crunchy Pepperidge Farm doodads but sooo much better. Everything was delicious and perfect and we were extremely stuffed at the end of it, as it should be.
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Carrot sandwich amuse-bouche 
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All in all, Lucky Leek was an absolutely fantastic meal, and if you are looking for something fancypants in Berlin, I can definitely recommend it. But bring a bottle of water with you — which is the dumbest thing to have to say about a fancypants restaurant, but I do not like being forced to pay for water.
LUCKY LEEK, BERLIN
Water speed: UGH FFS!
Bathrooms: Hilariously, the bathroom is in the back of the restaurant through a freaking beaded curtain, like in 1970s dorm rooms. So out of place and funny. Bathroom was fine.
Service: They were pretty nice, those water selling bastards.
Food: Delicious delicious delicious.
Bonus: Decent location. & maybe by the time you go they will have gotten the memo about the water? Go for the food.
Related Posts
How NOT to Make an Ice Cream Cake
This was DELICIOUS.
However, don’t do what I did. Follow the instructions of someone who knows what they are doing.
Or…
If you don’t like being told how to do something, and you prefer being AWESOME, read on.
However, don’t do what I did. Follow the instructions of someone who knows what they are doing.
Or…
If you don’t like being told how to do something, and you prefer being AWESOME, read on.
Tip of the Day: Do not assemble an ice cream cake when the cake parts are still hot.
My birthday this year was quite uneventful, so I decided that my birthday cake would be special: Ice cream cake! I’ve never made one before, and haven’t had one since elementary school, when other kids had those Carvel cakes at their parties. So now it was my time. (THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN MY TIIIIME!) However, I didn’t think the process through enough. So, this post is more of a ‘What Not to Do’ version of ‘How to Make an Ice Cream Cake’. Some truly amazing cake wreck pictures wait ahead.
My birthday this year was quite uneventful, so I decided that my birthday cake would be special: Ice cream cake! I’ve never made one before, and haven’t had one since elementary school, when other kids had those Carvel cakes at their parties. So now it was my time. (THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN MY TIIIIME!) However, I didn’t think the process through enough. So, this post is more of a ‘What Not to Do’ version of ‘How to Make an Ice Cream Cake’. Some truly amazing cake wreck pictures wait ahead.
It looks nice, right?
What’s hard to tell, though, is that the frosting melted into the top, coloring the cake, and then all of it slid off into those soupy corners, mixing with the ice cream to make admittedly delicious, viscous plasma. The top looks iced, but it’s mostly just the cocoa that seeped into the pores.
Every time I bake something with my mom’s knowledge, it needs to be chocolate and peanut butter. This is her rule. It’s a good one, but it gets old. After so many chocolate peanut butter cakes throughout the years, I wanted my birthday cake to be different. First of all, instead of the chocolate cake base I always always make in some form, I went with vanilla. I chose my favorite vanilla cake recipe, a doubled variation on Isa Chandra’s Vanilla Bean Cupcakes, minus the vanilla bean (which I have never had/used and that makes me sad. Future birthday present? Actually if you want to get me a present, get me a Vitamix), converted into layer cakes. And then I proceeded to throw together the most ridiculously poor ice cream cake probably ever seen. (Poor looking, and poorly constructed. Obviously not poor tasting!)
It doesn’t look too bad when it’s sliced, does it? But it was, oh it was. Have faith.
First, make the cake.
BEST EVER VANILLA CAKE
Adapted from Isa Chandra Moskowitz’s Vanilla Bean cupcakes
- 2C unsweetened non-dairy milk (vanilla almond is my choice)
- 3t apple cider vinegar
- 2½ C all-purpose flour
- 2t baking powder
- 1t baking soda
- 1t salt
- 2/3C canola oil
- 1¼ C sugar
- 2t vanilla extract
Preheat oven to 350°. Pour the milk and apple cider vinegar into a measuring cup; let it stand for at least five minutes until it curdles. I usually leave it for longer to ensure quality curdling action. Mix the dry ingredients (minus the sugar) in a mixing bowl. Add the sugar, then the oil, vanilla, and curdly milk and mix until just combined; do not overmix. Pour into two 8x8inch baking pans, or two round ones, or do what I did and do one square pan and one circular. (You should also wear 2 different shoes.) Bake for 45 minutes.
LET THE CAKES COOL. Like, for hours, not for 15 minutes like I did. Holy crap, I’m serious.
 See how it rose in the middle? Level that off the tops of the cakes. This is a great thing to do because you get to eat some of the cake before it’s ‘cake time’. Because this is just a sneaky way to eat warm cake without damaging the structure, I have no instructions for how to really do this. You should be able to tell when it’s flat enough, or when you are full enough. I guess it also makes the cakes more amenable to layering and topping with stuff. Really, just do it because it lets you eat the cake immediately. And it’s real good. |
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NEXT!
ONCE YOUR CAKES ARE COOL.
Take out your ice cream of choice. I used Trader Joe’s Cherry Chocolate Chip soy ice cream. It’s gooood. It reminds me of my childhood favorite, Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia, but it’s better because it’s doesn’t hurt animals OR your stomach! By the by, is there a website yet that has veganized the Ben & Jerry’s flavors? Because I’d buy an ice cream maker for that purpose. K maybe I’ll do it. I’m on it!
Getting back to the task at hand…
Let your ice cream thaw for a good 30 minutes. If it’s really super crazy hot in your kitchen, you’ll probably only want to leave it out for 15-20. We don’t want milk here. Also, I’m sorry you’re so hot!
Action shot! So fun!
Next, while your ice cream is thawing and your cakes are cooling (or if you are like me, while the cakes are cooking because you didn’t allow them to cool), make your frosting!
I mixed a bag of Trader Joe’s confectioner’s sugar (a pound) with 1/4C cocoa powder and 1/3C Earth Balance, plus splashes of almond milk. And then, as you can see at right, I mixed it with a hand blender.
Tip: Put the bowl in the sink, because this will shoot powder, both the sugar and cocoa variety, all over the place.
I mixed a bag of Trader Joe’s confectioner’s sugar (a pound) with 1/4C cocoa powder and 1/3C Earth Balance, plus splashes of almond milk. And then, as you can see at right, I mixed it with a hand blender.
Tip: Put the bowl in the sink, because this will shoot powder, both the sugar and cocoa variety, all over the place.
Then, when the cakes are cool (FREAL), smear a thick layer of the ice cream on top of your bottom layer. I like to flatten out scoops of the ice cream with my hands, then throw it down on the cake, then lick my hands. No I’m kidding I don’t really do that. Anyway, so you have your ice cream layer. If you have enough frosting, drop a layer of that on top of the ice cream before placing the second cake layer on top. Then top the second layer (and, if like me you used a circle on top of a square, top the exposed corners as well) with the frosting. If you didn’t listen to me but instead followed my example and you assembled this while the cake was still really warm, then by now you realize that you have a HUGE PILE OF MELTING STUFF oozing out onto the counter in front of you and then in a minute ahhhh there it goes onto the floor below you! All down the side of the counter and now oh no! It’s oozing towards your feet! Oh my god you have to contain this delicious sugary mess but you have frosting-ice cream mash-up on your FEET! What is the proper triage order for this fiasco?? Feet or cake? FEET OR CAKE????? Breathe! Towel off your feet because you’re going to be walking soon! You’re going to toss the baking dish of mudsliding horror onto a huge baking sheet and RUN DO NOT WALK to the freezer, where hopefully you already made room*. (Hint: Go back in time and make room!) You are going to throw that sliming overflowing monster into the freezer, cover it with a loose sheet of aluminium or saran wrap, and pray to all that is holy that it stops oozing at some point before your birthday. The end.
*If you were a goody two shoes and you assembled it properly, you still need to put the whole thing in the freezer. You just don’t have to scream while doing it.
*If you were a goody two shoes and you assembled it properly, you still need to put the whole thing in the freezer. You just don’t have to scream while doing it.
 Ta daaa! My epic cock-up turned out to be delicious, naturally; It was just a problem of construction. Those corners though, once they froze? Incredible. It turned into a cross between frosting and ice cream, obviously, since those two things melted together. It was amazing. At right, see my beautiful birthday flowers and my ‘Friends’ birthday card. A-nice! |
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Vegan Michelin Series: A Return Visit to Clove Club, London’s Highest Ranked Restaurant
For our recent anniversary (aw thanks), Husbo and I returned to one of our favorite fancy restaurants in London, The Clove Club. We celebrated our anniversary there two years ago, and this year we decided to shake our shoulders like Danny Burstein’s adorable Tevye and make a tradition of it. You might recall that last year, we were on a train to Chengdu for our anniversary, which was prettay prettay disgusting. To make up for that (plus 98% of all our train experiences last year), we splurged on this super extravagant dinner again. The Clove Club is one of the few Michelin-starred restaurants in London that will offer a worthwhile vegan tasting menu, so it always comes to mind first when we are considering super swanky restaurants.
One of the first UK restaurants to use the ticketing system, where you pay when you make the reservation, The Clove Club is a ritzy Shoreditch restaurant with an exclusive club-like vibe, located in Shoreditch Town Hall. It has one Michelin star and it’s the UK’s highest ranked restaurant on the World’s 50 Best Restaurants list, at #33. (Last year it was #26, just saying.) (Alinea is #34 so take this list, like all lists/awards, with a dangerous-for-your-blood-pressure amount of salt since that restaurant is extraordinarily better than most of the places ahead of it.)
Also, I believe it’s the only restaurant I’ve ever been to that offers a soft pairing instead of just a wine pairing with your menu. They even say on the website that they do that; it’s not like some secret you have to ask for. Especially in London, where most of the social activity for a non-drinker involves watching everyone else drink till they’re pissed (UK has a serious alcoholism problem but it’s part of the culture so it will remain ignored), it’s great for a non-drinker to have a nice option. In fact, on this visit our waiter told me that not only were they offering a soft pairing, they had two soft pairings available! I could choose between juice and tea, and obviously I chose juice. There were a few missteps in there, but I’ll talk more about that below.
Soon after we were seated, we were asked about our beverages – the wine and the soft pairings, yes, but also whether we wanted still or sparkling water. You know I appreciated getting right to the most important issue – water – without making me take out my big reusable bottle from my bag in a place like this. As usual, I chose still and Z chose sparkling, and the server assigned to our water needs (lol the dream) got confused and gave both of us sparkling for much of the meal. Luckily our main server took over at some point and gave me still. It is hard to chug sparkling and I like to chug!
We were getting the tasting menu, and so the first few dishes sent out were little off-menu ‘gifts’ from the kitchen to amuse our bouches, which are always some of the most interesting bites. I received an adorable tiny crispy cup of green beans and edible flowers that tasted of dill, and even though I tend not to like dill because of food poisoning memories, I loved this. Next up was a little turnip roll, looking like a sushi roll or a baby burrito or something but it was rolled up turnip. Sounds whack, tasted amazing.
My last amuse was a chickpea panisse, and I almost high-fived the waiter who brought it. I was psyched for some acknowledge that vegan proteins exist, and also I just forking love everything made with chickpea flour, like socca, and this was a little bite of socca.
To follow up/erase the little treats, they next brought me melon gazpacho granita as a palate cleanser, though a more interesting one than usual.
At this point in my notes, I wrote ‘Almost a potato but watery’ and I have zero clue what I meant by that or what point in the meal it was supposed to correspond to, if it was related to this meal at all. Recent-past me was very wise though, so I will use the phrase as much as I can.
Next, I was brought one warm tomato. I kind of thought ho boy, is this how it’s gonna be? After that promising chickpea panisse? But it was one warm good tomato, doused with soy sauce, almost a potato but watery, and even though it was hard to eat, I remembered that it’s all about the meal at large at a place like this, not each individual dish. It was served with a fresh cucumber juice, tinged with a little apple and some other subtle hints of this and that to make a really lovely, refreshing cucumber juice. A soft pairing win!
My next course needs no introduction. It was BEANS! I love beans oh how I love beans, especially in fancy restaurants who would love to only give me single tomatoes and no protein. The white beans (the server said cocoa beans?? but no) (I googled and apparently Coco de Paimpol beans are a thing and are whitish so that is probably it; shortening it to ‘coco’ is misleading guys!) were served with impeccably cooked and flavored mushrooms, so it was a dish I often cook myself but made delicious and wonderful. My drink of the moment was a buckwheat iced tea, which I loved because I love buckwheat and really got into buckwheat teas in China last year. It was Bucks County up in here! Calling it another Soft Pairing Win even though it was a tea and not a juice and I thought they were two different routes to take but I guess sometimes they share the path?
The next course was my absolute favorite and brought the whole shibang to another level. I got a little bowl of the freshest herb broth that was like if everything green and fresh and herby was reduced to their strongest, most sublime levels of green and fresh and herby taste concentration and probably mixed with a little magic. It was INCREDIBLE. I mean yeah it was broth, but incredible forking broth. There was a baby potato and a single strand of samphire in the bowl, which was fun to try to get when you were drinking directly from the bowl. I would say the potato in the broth was almost a potato but watery, but it really was a potato. It was served with the greatest piece of solid food ever, too – a cracker of crispy potato topped with white bean puree and amazing grilled mushrooms (but grilled differently from the previous course, I believe). Everything about this course was perfection and I really wanted to shout ‘just give me a million of these, please’ which really should be an option when you are paying this much but alas, I behaved.
Next up to bat, we have a wonderful white beet dish. The beets were sliced super thin and I guess the whiteness instead of the redness means there is no trace of any dirt taste that regular beets often have, and they were topped with slivered almonds. The waiter poured a Greek yogurt (made from almonds) sauce over the whole thing, and it was splendid. It looks like a mess because I didn’t get the picture until after the pouring happened, but whatevs. So good! And I appreciate the perfectly smooth almond yogurt sauce that I like to think they made just for me that night.
While this course was great, the soft pairing was…not. You may remember from my previous Clove Club review that I was given a red pepper juice to accompany a corn-based dish, and the match of red pepper and corn was highly praised. However, I also mentioned that too much juiced red pepper is a lot to ask someone to drink. At this latest meal, the red pepper juice was a weird match for white beet and yogurt, and the giant glass was way too much to ask. I could barely finish two sips before I wanted to barfalomew. Soft Pairing Fail.
Luckily, this was about the time they brought out their superb sourdough bread, so I could get rid of the taste. Their bread is so good we would have happily filled up on it even though everyone always says not to do that, for some dumb reason.
The more substantial ‘main’ dish section of the menu came out now, and my first of these was a grilled baby eggplant with cumin sauce and eggplant caviar. So, not the most interesting or inventive dish, but it tasted great and was well made. Still, given the setting, you’d hope for something more imaginative. I LOVED my soft pairing, though: a steaming hot pot full to the brim of mushroom tea. I drank the whole pot and loved it. The taste was very subtle, almost bland, but that’s okay for tea, and the smell was sensational (just like MUSHROOM and SO STRONG).
The last of the savory courses was one of my favorite parts of the dinner: a plate of maitake mushrooms and broccoli and other greens and leaves served with a courgette (zucchini) puree and a Jura foam. Jura, I learned, is a region of France where they make their own kind of French wine and so this foam was made from that, I guess, but was cooked and foamified so it didn’t taste like or have alcohol. So fancy, so delicious! They really based my meal around cooking mushrooms impeccably and I am down with that.
Unfortunately, my soft pairing for this wonderful course was a big bummer: They brought me a non-alcoholic beer. Okay there’s a lot to go over here. First of all, I said juice pairing. JUICE. Second, you’re assuming that the people not drinking alcohol still like the taste of alcohol. That’s a very bold assumption to make, and one that I don’t think will ever prove true in any situation. Third, you don’t know why I’m not drinking. What if I was an alcoholic and the taste of beer, even without the alcohol, was a big trigger? Fourth, WHO LIKES NON-ALCHOLIC BEER? Literally NO ONE on the planet. Lastly, and most offensive to me personally, this felt exceedingly lazy. We’re paying more than we’ve ever paid for any meal up in here, and someone back there is like ‘hmm, we need a drink for this dish that isn’t alcohol, oh I know, how about just this beer that the alcohol pairing is getting but the non-alcoholic kind! Great! Except not great. Beer is disgusting and non-alcoholic beer is bullshit. SOFT PAIRING FAIL. Ugh thank goodness most of this meal was wonderful because this aspect of it feels really like a slap in the face.
Luckily dessert came next to distract me from my OVERWHELMING RAGE.
And dessert was epic. You know from my past reviews of fancy places that don’t primarily cater to vegans that they often just can’t do dessert. They either buckle under the pressure or they never give a shit in the first place and they go ‘oh here’s a plate of fruit and, if we feel like trying a little, that same fruit made into a syrup or a sorbet ENJOY THAT WILL BE $100!’ But my two desserts (actually, three sort of) from Clove Club this evening were remarkable. Not only were they both interesting and creative, but they were also delicious.
First up was a blackcurrant granita with soy foam and berries. The soy foam was more of a substantial cream and there was more of it than there was granita, so that really saved this from being one of the aforementioned kinds of lazy vegan desserts, as did the fact that it tasted great. The granita was a little too melted underneath the cream, like it was ready in the kitchen before the server fetched it for us, but things happen. There was also a shot of olive oil poured across it, which seems fancy and whimsical but I couldn’t really taste it so that’s just like unnecessary fat but whatever. Oh so for my American readers, blackcurrant is like the most popular fruit flavor in the UK. Husbo keenly observed (he’s so keen) that it’s used as commonly here as grape flavor is in the USA. It’s pretty strange to UK friends that blackcurrant juice et al. is just not a thing in the states. Anyway great dessert. BUT, the real treat of this course was the soft pairing! Thank god they returned with such a strong followup to the Biggest Fail in Soft Pairing History because this blackcurrant and beetroot soda was so incredible, so perfect and delicious with both flavors balanced, that it almost made up for everything. I wish I could buy this soda from them to have at home. And I don’t even drink soda!
But the last dessert was the winner, maybe of the whole meal, maybe at least tied with that herby broth and potato thing. This is the kind of dessert I want to share with all future omnivore restaurants who claim to be able to make me something good. It was a caramel ice cream (WIN) on top of a coffee meringue foam (WIN) on top of potato sticks (WHAT SURPRISE WIN). The potato sticks were exactly like those things we’d get at a Wawa as kids, which I completely forget the name of but could NEVER forget the taste. YOU KNOW like those superskinny shoestring potato sticks (the name was probably Potato Stix lol) and they were so greasy and salty and amazing. Well whoever had the idea of putting them with caramel ice cream and meringue deserves a medal. This dessert was REMARKABLE. And I don’t even like coffee, well I don’t drink it, but in dessert form it was great, especially mixed with caramel. And potato stix. The soft pairing was a pear juice with coffee syrup and it was delicious. Another SP Win.
As is the case with these fancy super long tasting menus, when you think you are finished and you can’t possibly eat another bite of anything, they bring you petit fours with your coffee or bill as supposedly a little treat but at this point it’s like a mockery of your stomach. Unforch, Husbo got the petit fours because they didn’t have vegan versions. However, they gave me a house-made dark chocolate bar, as they did last time, and it’s good chocolate. And since the guy who brought it to me felt bad that I didn’t get the petit fours/knew I was going to mention this on the internet/saw how much I loved chocolate by my face tattoo that says I Love Chocolate, he brought me a second one! So I brought 1.5 very nice dark chocolate bars home.
All in all, this was a spectacular meal that lived up to our expectations and memories of last time. Even though there were a few missteps and a few things that are making my veins pop and not in my forearms like I like, overall it was wonderful. But it is incredibly expensive, and even though it was a special occasion, it feels very strange to spend that much money on a meal. That guilty feeling is stronger than usual now that it’s like end-of-days time and everything is going to shit, so it might have to be the last fancy meal for a while. Or, if it really is end-of-days there is no reason to save our money soooo maybe not. WEIRD ENDING.
CLOVE CLUB, SHOREDITCH, LONDON, UK, EUROPE FOR NOW
Water speed: Pretty good, though not as good as last time and I got a lot of sparkling by accident. I know that sounds like theeeee most entitled bullshit to complain about but that kind of detail is what Michelin stars are given for.
Service: Very nice.
Bathrooms: The bathrooms are downstairs, dark and reminiscent of like a brothel in 1800’s New Orleans. You know what I mean? The lighting was dim, the colors were dark reds and browns, and random cosmetics were scattered on display. A very strange mood going on but it was nice and clean, so whatever! Also I liked that the stall was separated from the sink area, despite being a single serve bathroom. People don’t have to wait outside that way, avoiding the awkwardness that comes from that. Oh the toilet seat was hysterically big and weird! That’s enough. (copied from previous review because it’s the same.)
Food: Splendid! I read over my previous review, and all my food-based complaints seem to have been addressed: the lack of protein was fixed (they could still do more, especially in the two mains, but still, an improvement), the desserts were improved by extraordinary leaps and bounds.
Bonus: Great to have a fancypants restaurant for special occasions/profligate spending when you have no need for money anymore.
