New Orleans Inspirations: Cream of Root Beer & Cream of Almond Shaved Iceby Randi / September 8, 2014
Who would have guessed that the most vegan-friendly city in Europe was the city with some of the most horrific, heartbreaking history? It sort of makes sense, that as Berlin continues to rebuild, it forges a new path with more compassion and understanding not just for all people but for all living things. Those Germans though (that one’s for millytweet).
The majority of my posts about Berlin will be about this crazy surge in veganism, but first our city guide will focus on that horrific history and the importance of paying your respects to it when in Berlin. There are some absolutely wonderful museums about World War Two that I’ll go over. Also, Berlin offers some really fun tourist attractions, including one activity that was without a doubt the most unique, crazy, and fun thing I’ve found maybe anywhere (infra).
The majority of my posts about Berlin will be about this crazy surge in veganism, but first our city guide will focus on that horrific history and the importance of paying your respects to it when in Berlin. There are some absolutely wonderful museums about World War Two that I’ll go over. Also, Berlin offers some really fun tourist attractions, including one activity that was without a doubt the most unique, crazy, and fun thing I’ve found maybe anywhere (infra).
Very famous Brandenburg Gate. So famous.
First, you know how I love finding fun street graffiti in cities. On Oranienburger Strasse, near the synagogue, we came across the well-known Tacheles Art House, which housed various kinds of artists and fun people after the Berlin wall came down. Also, ‘tacheles’ is Yiddish for ‘straight-talking’ which is hilarious. The commune is now virtually empty because a bank owned the building and evicted all the artists because obviously hordes of free-thinking people scare banks. I’m pretty sure no one knows what to do with the building now.
You wouldn’t necessary think that Berlin boasts lovely green space but it does! People were hanging out and strolling through the parks. Ahnice.
Outside the Reichstag
I recommend making an appointment online to visit the Reichstag so you can climb up the fun mirrored tower and have a fantastic view of the city. You have to go through security upon entering. The Reichstag is like the Parliament building; it’s where the German bundestag/parliament meets. There’s actually a meeting room in the basement under the tower, so you can see through the glass floor right onto your representatives as they vote. Something about transparency this time around.
Inside the Reichstag
 View from the Reichstag tower |
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Part of the Punk Rock Section. Or maybe the Post Punk; it does look a lot like a PPK party
One of our favorite museums in Berlin was, to my great surprise, about life during the Cold War and not about a dancing video game that boys I went to high school with enjoyed. The DDR Museum (Deutsche Demokratische Republik) shows what life was like in East Germany before the wall came down. The exhibition includes everything from the daily life of citizens and what they eat to and how they rebelled. It’s an interactive museum so I was never bored. You can even fake-drive an actual model of the car that East Germans could have. Like that one car they could have. It was a piece of shit to say the least. Anyway, the various corners of the museum house tremendously interesting information, including the pictured bits about the punk rock movement, how military action was jammed down children’s throats at a young age, and apparently how fun naked beach volleyball was. They also sold a cookbook of recipes that people would have made during the separation, which I don’t see anyone buying, ever.
  I don’t care that it’s das original, I don’t want it |
 Nude beach volleyball was big in the DDR?  Poor Hedwig  I just love that they really say ‘Jesus sandals’ |
Pergamon Altar
The important museum-going place in Berlin is helpfully called Museum Island, which houses five wonderful museums, including the must-see Pergamon Museum. The Pergamon boasts the famous Pergamon Altar and the Ishtar Gate of Babylon, which we bought a paper model of at the gift shop. The Pergamon altar is an enormous stone room, pretty much, and can probably hold 100 museum visitors easily. The enormous building was originally on an acropolis in the city of Pergamon in Asia Minor; it was transported from Turkey to Berlin. The altar has friezes running along the walls depicting events from the life of the founder of Pergamon, as well as the battle between the Giants and the Olympians.
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The Ishtar Gate, which you probably recognize, is a freaking jaw-dropping structure that was originally a gate to the inner city of Babylon from 500s B.C., ordered into existence by King Nebuchadnezzar II, who had the unique of honor of having one of the first crazy celebrity baby names. It was dedicated to the goddess Ishtar, the Babylonian version of Aphrodite. The gate in the museum is a reconstruction, but it uses the original gorgeous blue and gold glazed bricks.
The Ishtar Gate so pretty
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The Pergamon also houses this beautiful Orpheus Mosaic:
And the museum teaches us, as all good museums should, that a popular Jewish word for an idiot or jerk is also the German word for Jews’ favorite thing.
Well some Jews, definitely 🙂
Oh, so it is recommended in guide books to go to the top of the TV Tower to see a panorama view of the city. But it’s expensive and crowded. Instead, go to the Park Inn in Alexanderplatz and pay only a few euro to go to the roof. You get the same amazing view of the city but you get the TV Tower in your pictures! Awesome!
That’s the TV Tower. It’s so acne!
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Crazy signs like the above were lining the staircase up to Panorama 37, and when we got there this random amazing bear was waiting for us. The bear and signs were probably the best part, because as you can see, Berlin’s skyline is not exactly beautiful, at least not in this direction. And also it was often overcast. No big deal, it’s still the greatest city, just maybe save your rooftop viewing parties for like Italy.
We passed some really literal storefronts as well, like the below left, my favorite, which doesn’t hold any information back. Also, the children’s carousel below right is super depressing.
 What you see is what you get |
 No thanks |
My favorite cathedral name probably ever is Berliner Dom because it means Berlin Cathedral but sounds better. You can climb up to the top, which is my favorite cathedral-related activity, and get even more pictures of the city from on high. When we were up there, I heard someone around the bend say “Philadelphia” and I screamed “Who just said they were from Philly!” And this guy came around to us and we chatted! He lived where I worked! Such a small world, and always smaller if you are willing to yell in public.
Inside Berliner Dom
View from the Top
Probably the hardest place to visit was the Topographie Des Terrors, the museum that shows, without holding anything back, what happened to all the various groups and people whom the Nazis persecuted in Berlin from 1933 to 1945. I learned so much I didn’t know about what happened to sick and injured people in various types of hospitals, including children with disabilities. It’s all really depressing and I couldn’t finish all the exhibits because it was just so difficult. But it’s really informative and I think it’s really important to go there. I appreciated that the exhibits didn’t mince any words.
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Right outside the indoor Topography of Terror museum is the remnants of the Berlin Wall, which has been converted to an exhibit showing more depressing information relating to the postwar era.
 I MADE IT OVER THE GREAT DIVIDE |
 TRY AND TEAR ME DOWN |
I definitely recommend that you go and spend ample time both inside the museum and reading all the information along the wall. But, you must plan to do something really happy afterwards.
LIKE TRAP BERLIN!!!
LIKE TRAP BERLIN!!!
We found Trap Berlin through TripAdvisor, because it was either the #1 or #2 recommended activity in all of Berlin. What is this random thing, you ask? It is a small room set up as a puzzle you have to solve before a bomb goes off. No joke. You and 2-3 friends book a time, and you go to a small room at the back of a café (information here) , in which six or so dark safes are stacked, locked, unmarked, and very little else is in the room. Aaaaand, GO! The clock starts and you have 40 minutes not only to start unlocking the safes SOMEHOW, but to use whatever you see to create clues and solutions. For instance, there is a small globe outside the safes to begin with. That’s necessary for finding one of the combinations. No joke. It’s legit crazy, so super stressful, and you have no idea what kinds of skills will be helpful. They say about 50% of participants actually diffuse the bomb (if they even find it – it’s in one of the safes. We didn’t locate it until very late in the game). My husband and I did it with our famous vegan friend Not Josh, so we had three fairly intelligent professionals with varying skills and abilities working together and it still felt like we were absolutely going crazy!
 I can’t even really describe what you do and how many intricate and complicated steps there are, but it was SO fun. It was really the most fun thing I’ve ever done in a foreign city I think! AND WE WON! YAYYYY! Seriously, if you go to Berlin, you HAVE to do it. The people in charge said they changed the setup every so often so I hope I am not spoiling too much by sharing these pictures. Even if you do remember what you see, it’s totally not going to help you solve anything anyway.
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This is a very unrelated poster that we saw in the Berlin metro stations.
We also love going to the opera when we visit other cities, and the Berlin Opera did not disappoint. We saw one of my favorite works: Donizetti’s “L’Elisir d’Amore”, or in German “Der Liebestrank” which is not quite as lovely a title. The Deutsche Oper Berlin was a lovely venue and the company was incredibly talented. It was just fabulous. My favorite things about it were a) it was still performed in Italian thank the f-ing gods (when we saw “Rigoletto” in Vienna, they did it in German. It was horrendous. MEINE TOCTERRRRRR!) and b) while the audience clearly loved the performance, there was no automatic standing ovation like in America. Nice!
As for the Berlin metro system, it’s pretty solid. I wasn’t blown away by German technology and/or precision, as I fully expected to be, but I wasn’t disappointed either. The standout of the public transport experience was of course the sign at right. Beware of tricksters! That’s good advice no matter where you are or what you are doing.
We also tried to go to Schloss Charlottenburg, the grand palace, but of course it was closed the day we went. No matter, the vast, beautiful gardens were open for strolling and stroll we did. We could have easily gotten lost in these many acres of ponds, bridges, paths, trees, and of course flowers. Luckily we didn’t.
There’s so much more we did and saw, like the controversial (in construction) Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe, a visit to the synagogue that was destroyed during the war and is now a wartime museum, a walking tour that included the site of Hitler’s bunker, and many strolls on Unter den Linden boulevard. You must really do all of the war-related tourism, and in return there’s so much fun stuff to do as well! Berlin really offers a great deal in terms of honoring the past and enjoying the present.
We stayed at the Mandala Hotel in Potsdamer Platz, a very nice hotel in a great location that I recommend.
Tomorrow and the rest of the week we will look at FOOD in Berlin! Yay!
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Zagreb, Croatia: Great Food, Museums, Babies in Baskets
The first thing I felt when I landed, alone, in Zagreb, Croatia was excitement. The second was idiocy, as I was still dressed in my airplane outfit – black pants and a long-sleeved black hooded shirt – and it was hot. Luckily, the excitement won over and I began an incredible journey through the Balkans.
Zagreb is a pretty easy city for a newcomer to maneuver. After getting my luggage (one of these days I’ll do a long trip with just carry-ons, but until then…), I quickly found an ATM and a cab to take me to my hotel. I usually like to rely on public transit in foreign cities, but my Rick Steves guidebook said a taxi was the best way. After nearly 24 hours of traveling, I welcomed the opportunity to be lazy. To go from the airport to the city center costs 180-220 kuna if you aren’t getting ripped off, about $30-$40 USD.
Zagreb is a pretty easy city for a newcomer to maneuver. After getting my luggage (one of these days I’ll do a long trip with just carry-ons, but until then…), I quickly found an ATM and a cab to take me to my hotel. I usually like to rely on public transit in foreign cities, but my Rick Steves guidebook said a taxi was the best way. After nearly 24 hours of traveling, I welcomed the opportunity to be lazy. To go from the airport to the city center costs 180-220 kuna if you aren’t getting ripped off, about $30-$40 USD.
Jelacic Square
As is the case with most European cities, the first (and usually best) thing I did was stroll through the busy downtown. Once you get your bearings with the main piazza, Ban Jelačić Square, and a few main streets like Ilica and Vlaska Ulica, you’ll see how manageable the center is. Of course, if you’re me, you’ll still get turned around every 15 minutes, but still. Better than usual.
Jelačić Square is marked by a large statue of its namesake, Josip Jelačić, riding a horse. Jelačić was governor in the 1800s, and decided that Austria > Hungary and united with the Habsburg Empire against the Hungarians’ attempts to control Croatia.
Jelačić Square is marked by a large statue of its namesake, Josip Jelačić, riding a horse. Jelačić was governor in the 1800s, and decided that Austria > Hungary and united with the Habsburg Empire against the Hungarians’ attempts to control Croatia.
Look, princess, there’s a baby in a basket!
The bustling square acts as a showcase for vendors, people watching, and random things like this amazing children’s ride as part of what seemed like a makeshift Renaissance Faire, as well as the hilarious dunk tank below.
A few blocks from Jelačić Square, you’ll see a funicular that takes you a very short way up the hill to an old village. It’s actually billed as the shortest cable car ride in the world. I’ll leave it to one of you to verify that. I love funiculars almost as much as I love the word funicular, but we just missed our chance to ride it.
A few blocks from Jelačić Square, you’ll see a funicular that takes you a very short way up the hill to an old village. It’s actually billed as the shortest cable car ride in the world. I’ll leave it to one of you to verify that. I love funiculars almost as much as I love the word funicular, but we just missed our chance to ride it.
Dunk tank!
Zagreb Cathedral, Glagolitic alphabet
A visit to the Zagreb Cathedral, considered the most important Catholic church in Croatia, is necessary. Without knowing what to look for, it’s similar to the thousands (millions?) of cathedrals in Europe. But this one houses something remarkable: a wall covered in text written in the Glagolitic alphabet. Invented in the 9th century by the saints Cyril and Methodius, this alphabet was mainly used in Croatia and was the precursor to the modern Cyrillic alphabet.
Zagreb is really trying to draw in tourists!
Widely considered the most important museum in Zagreb, the Croatian Museum of Naïve Art is a lovely little gallery right up the hill from the main square (in the Gradec area). And one the way you might pass some fun natives!
Tickets cost 20 kuna ($3-4), and you can definitely take a leisurely pass through in less than 45 minutes. It comprises six small rooms of peasant art.
Tickets cost 20 kuna ($3-4), and you can definitely take a leisurely pass through in less than 45 minutes. It comprises six small rooms of peasant art.
My favorite painting from the Naive Art Museum
It’s called ‘naïve’ because the artists are technically untrained, but it doesn’t seem like it. My favorite painting featured pink cows. I bought a mouse pad of it. I don’t even use a mouse. But it’s more durable than a postcard of it and was only a few dollars. Isn’t it so cheerful?
My real favorite museum in Zagreb, however, was the Museum of Broken Relationships. You may have heard of it, as the museum has toured around the world. All of the pieces come from people whose relationships have ended, and the donors write a little explanation of the role the object played in the relationship. It can be quite sad (as the numerous wedding albums and gowns attest) but also really funny (consider the baseball bat one donor used to smash an ex’s car (I think)). I wish the funny stuff was positioned later in the exhibit instead of the sad, because I left feeling a bit down, but overall it was a great time. I highly recommend going.
The Museum of Broken Relationships is right across from the Naïve Art Museum and costs the same (20 kuna), but has much better hours, open past 10pm in the summer. I have to mention the woman who sold us our tickets. She was so friendly and excited to meet native English speakers because she had been learning English. She asked if she could test out her skills with us, and she told us a really funny joke, in great English, and was so happy! So nice.
Just up the street from the two museums is St. Mark’s church, covered with a beautiful tiled roof depicting the coat of arms of Croatia, Slovenia, and the seal of Zagreb.
One of the best things about Zagreb, especially in nice weather, is how much green space there is. There are many lovely parks where I suggest you play and picnic, especially in the Green Horseshoe, where more museums also await.
IMPORTANT TIP: Everything has bonkers hours in Croatia. Make sure you find out the correct opening and closing times for EVERYTHING. Check with the Tourist Information Center (right in the Square) to be sure. Here are some things I learned the hard way:
IMPORTANT TIP: Everything has bonkers hours in Croatia. Make sure you find out the correct opening and closing times for EVERYTHING. Check with the Tourist Information Center (right in the Square) to be sure. Here are some things I learned the hard way:
- Even on Saturday nights (maybe especially?) restaurants will close very early. If you have my luck, the restaurants you are dying to try will be closed before 7:30pm and will REJECT YOU when you arrive at 7pm unaware that shit is crazy. Most others will close by 8pm.
- Museums are usually closed on Sundays.
- The Croatian Museum of Naïve Art – the #1 museum to see in this city – is only open on Saturdays from 10am-1pm. That’s the only day I had open, but you can easily get through it in 30 minutes while still appreciating it, so do like I did and hit it when it opens so you don’t miss it.
- In July, it can be really warm and sunny and then BOOM THUNDERSTORM. I lucked out and the rain moved quickly (and I was inside), but it was really heavy.
The restaurants closing so early on Saturday nights is still making me angry, because I was turned away from Zrno, which my friend raved about, and I had no other chance to go. Luckily, Green Point, the fast food vegetarian burger joint, was still open.
READ ABOUT GREEN POINT!
READ ABOUT THE ART OF RAW, THE MOST AMAZING RAW VEGAN RESTAURANT!
READ ABOUT VEGEHOP, AN ALL VEGETARIAN RESTAURANT!
Also luckily, the street food vendors were still selling their corn on the cob. Yup, this is the most common street food we saw. Love it!
The hotel I stayed at, the Hotel President Pantovcak, was very nice. It’s at the top of a hill just northeast of the city center, a great location but a beast to walk up if you are not in great shape and/or if it’s too hot. Just fyi. The rooms were clean, and the receptionist was friendly and helpful.
The most important thing about Zagreb left to say:
Buy as much Bajadera chocolate as you can carry in the extra suitcase you packed just for this purpose. You’re welcome.
Buy as much Bajadera chocolate as you can carry in the extra suitcase you packed just for this purpose. You’re welcome.
…While you’re at it, get some Griotte cherry-filled chocolates, and a box or five of Napolitanke. Get it all. Bring me some.
Enjoy!
Khiva, Uzbekistan: More Ancient Sandy Sights and History
After our lovely time in Samarkand, we ventured to our next Uzbek stop of Khiva. Khiva would resemble Bukhara more than the others, in that it’s a contained little ancient town full of minarets and mosques and the whole damn thing is a UNESCO World Heritage site. Also, it was similarly dusty and dry and boring for modern travelers but interesting to see for history purposes. It’s unclear when exactly Khiva was established, but historians say it probably came about after Jesus was born like as a birthday present for him maybe. (Not that last part.) But in the past thousand or so years, the town has gone through several different ruling classes from various cultures. I guess they all kept thinking like I did, going ‘hmm this place seems interesting let’s rule it up oh wait everyone here is mean and it’s kind of blah let’s bounce.’
But before we bounce, we have to get there. From Samarkand, we had a midnight-ish train to Khiva. The lovely staff at L’Argamak Hotel in Samarkand let us hang out until we had to leave, even though that meant we were keeping everyone up. They were so nice I missed them immediately upon leaving. Our train was actually to Urgench, a city large enough to have a train station, because Khiva is a little wee sandy baby that is not and does not. Once at Urgench, we had a car waiting for us, arranged through Sultan at the Advantour tour company, who arranged all our Uzbek transit (recommended; you don’t want to deal with Uzbek train tickets or taxi drivers). I honestly don’t remember this overnight train, which means it had to be okay, right? Or I just was so traumatized that I blocked out all memories? No I think this one was uneventful, and uneventful is good.
The next morning, we met our driver for the ride to Khiva, and he was the best driver and communicator yet so I wished we had him for more than just a 30 minute ride (‘whether bright or melancholyyyyy rough and ready finely spun’ anyone??). He told us about Urgench and how many people live there and what they do and grow and it was nice! I think there’s cotton there.
So Khiva was originally full of Iranian people speaking an Iranian language. But then the Turks, those darn Turks, took over power in the 10th century. After the Turks got tired of all the mean people in the restaurants and all the French tourists, the Astrakhans had their turn. Then the Astrakhans went back to their preferred job of imprisoning wizards and Khiva fell into the hands of Russians, under General Konstantin von Kaufman in the 1800s. Russia was soooo nice though and let Khiva act in a quasi-independent manner, kind of like they are doing to the USA right now! I guess this is why you can get by speaking Russian in Khiva, although no that’s not it because it’s pretty regular all over Uzbekistan so maybe it filtered in otherwise; I’m sure they took over at various points in time and space. Anyway Khiva was part of the USSR in the 1900s and then it became part of the Uzbek Soviet Socialist Republic and now it is part of Uzbekistan and yes I am getting all of this from wikipedia but my husband donates to it (unlike the rest of us who see that message ‘we just need a dollar from you and then you can keep having access to all this knowledge that you regularly use just give us a dollar’ and we just click that black ‘x’ on the box and are like byeeees am I right up top) so I think it’s okay.
Khiva exists in two parts – the ‘modern’ part of town where people live and where there are like roads (barely) and markets (found one) and stuff, and the ancient inner town completely surrounded by walls. The inside walled part is the historical center, the important part for tourists, the World Heritage area. It’s called Ichan Kala, the walled inner town, and it contained more than 50 monuments of historical importance that honestly are like heavily unmarked so I don’t really know what I’m going to be sharing pictures of, just know that they are the historic important things. Luckily, wiki tells me that the most important parts of Ichan Kala are the walls and the gates, and I can’t mess up identifying those! Above is a gate! Wheee!
Right on the other side of the gate was our guest house, the Qosha Darvoza which no I don’t know how to say either but I do love u-less q words. I highly recommend this guest house for Khiva visits because the location is perfect – right outside that (north?) gate of the old town so it’s very close but not inside the ancient walls, which is important because inside is like an immediate uncomfortable trip back in time and you don’t want to sleep in that kind of place. Also who knows if there’s electricity? So the Qosha cabana is a great choice. The man working there was also one of three very kind Uzbeks we met during our time in the country so you will want to meet him because that’s like a unicorn in these parts. Also it had such a cool desert-chic vibe.
The courtyard/breakfast area, with the rooms surrounding it
outside the Qosha cabana
I loved the Qosha’s location because as soon as you left those front doors, you were surrounded by the sights. First, across the street was a beautiful garden that we enjoyed walking through as we went back and forth to the old town. It was the only pretty thing in Khiva!
omg why are you laughing you look like an idiot
I’m sharing this super embarrassing picture (where’s that PPK thread when you need it) because it’s so cool how you can see the ancient gate and walls of the city in the background! Once you enter those gates, it really is a whole other world, and Uzbekistan itself is a whole nother world too so when you’re in the Ichan Kala it’s like so many worlds removed from earth know what I’m saying. Once you enter the gates, it’s like a little bit of Mars or maybe Tatooine right? Here’s that same girl in the same dumb hat on the other side (I’m on the east side, I’m on the west side, I’m on the one side, I’m on the other side).
Note to people who like to not be broken, climbing these walls is a bit treacherous! You can pretty much scramble your way up to this first level and take a few steps, but don’t go too far because it is like from the 8th century and is not exactly a ‘path’. Also climbing up to the higher levels would require more than just the willingness to scamper; I think you’d need rope. Kinda skir kinda skir!
A few steps beyond the gate, we ran into construction on one of the major buildings, because we were in Uzbekistan and that’s what we learned to expect all over this country so why should this tiny protected town be any different.
According to the signs around the construction site (this they sign well but of course none of the historic sites have plaques or any info eye roll), a Chinese company was overseeing this work. We seriously considered going in without hardhats and seeing if they could feed us (god we missed Chinese food/non-Uzbek food).
After this point, the Ichan Kala land becomes a complete maze. It is full of winding little alleys and no street signs (they aren’t streets!) and buildings that all look the same, lather rinse repeat, so following a path or keeping hold of any sort of intention with your wandering is impossible. And filling all these alleys are children who have learned how to say ‘WHERE YOU FROM’ in the languages of the main groups of tourists who come here – English, French, German – and they will chase you and harass you and shout WHERE YOU FROM as long as they want. Kind of annoying! And they see how lost you look because who can follow directions in this sort of confusing sandy maze! So they will chase you and ask you if they can help you and ask for American money and we were like ‘we don’t have any American money we are in Uzbekistan!’ and they won’t care and will just keep repeatedly asking you for it and chasing you. If you persevere, you’ll make it through the shady part of the alleys and into the opening up of the tourist center.
screaming from the minarets
And if you make it into the tourist center of the old town, you make it to all the minarets and mosques and unmarked other buildings and LOTS of French people. This is the one place on earth I’ve been where the touts don’t lead with English, guessing that regardless of where you are from as a white person, you probably speak English, playing the odds that English will work. Here the odds are higher that French will work! They lead with French because the tourists here are mostly French! It was kind of cool to notice that difference. And to not be bombarded with nonstop shouts of ‘where you from’ and ‘here buy this souvenir’ in English was fun.
FRENCH PEOPLEEEEE
Strangely, despite how barren this section of the country seemed, the very center of the center of the old town was full of tourists and LINED with touts and souvenir stands, which was quite surprising. And kind of blew the whole ancient historical vibe that is the purpose of a visit to Khiva. And if you didn’t catch what I was saying before, everyone was kind of mean, except for our guest house man and like one guy at one restaurant we ate at. Over three days! It still is cool to see this old town center and all the buildings, but you could honestly get your fill in a few hours, not a few days, and preserve some of your sanity, patience, and good will towards men (although that’s no longer necessary, haven’t you heard, men are over).
screaming from the minarets
Some of the buildings are pretty cool! As you can see! But we’ve been looking at similarly blue tiled mosques for like yeeeeears now. They all have names and stories but they weren’t well marked and we were kind of over it, I’m sorry to say. But it happens with long-term travel! Or even short-term travel! Don’t feel bad!
We mainly wandered around the old town, got lost, got hot, got thirsty, and looked on with appreciation at all the old structures. We were planning to climb the minaret but the random lady who came out of nowhere and approached us as the guardian of the minaret (a suspicious thing that happened at least five times a day so far since arriving in Uzbekistan) gave us a price for the climb that just wasn’t worth it. But it was super hot anyway so pictures will suffice.
what you see what you see what you see what you see is human
My favorite thing in the old town was honestly this map of the Silk Road. It was exciting to see how far we’ve come, how much we’ve seen. And it gave us some much needed boosting in terms of morale to remember how epic this trip was.
I also liked this statue, of Al Khorezmi. Khorezm is the name of the region surrounding Khiva, and Al Khorezmi was a scholar who I’m gonna guess is the same as Al Khwarizmi, the famous Persian mathematician who is considered the founder of algebra. He does indeed look like he’s thinking hmm why on earth am I foisting this shit upon the world. No just kidding algebra is great.
Oh I want to say that this is the Jame Mosque, a) because I know that the Jame mosque has over 200 columns and this looks like it could be it and b) I just want to be able to name something in this post considering what a shit job I did of recognizing what anything was in the first place. The Jame mosque’s pillars date back to the 10th century, and you can walk among them while enjoying the one single space in town that provides respite from the heat and sun. Apparently there’s a carriage in here that was a gift from Tsar Nicholas (old friend!) to the khan but I don’t see it, do you.
As for food, I was able to navigate the same-old same-old menus in the old town’s tourist-friendly (but not actually friendly, as we’ve established) restaurants. The place I was excited for turned out to be the world because of the staff. I think it was called Cafe Kheizem, right at the main central toilets (yes there are toilets in the center!). It was disappointing because the waitress didn’t write down our order and so my most-wanted dish of stewed cabbage never came, and when I asked the staff about it (she was long gone by then) there was no receipt or anything to point to. UGH. Listen, if you are in the restaurant business, it is not impressive at all if the waitstaff can remember your order without writing it down. It’s literally the stupidest thing to try to do to impress us, because if it works it’s keeping things at base level competence, and if it doesn’t work well then your customers don’t get their food. JUST WRITE IT DOWN. I really wanted that cabbage too. I did have a salad of course and a cold noodle salad thing that we shared and they were fine but like so boring.
Khorezem Art restaurant, on the other hand, is the only one I can recommend because like I said before, the guy working wasn’t outright mean to us. And it was fine. And they have beans! I got all the little accidentally vegan dishes on the menu and it made a very satisfying meal.
So, we basically saw everything there is to see and then another three more times in one day. The next day, we slept super late and didn’t go back to go see the same things again till late in the day, which was nice. We spent some time enjoying Uzbek television in our room. The only thing we could understand was a children’s program that was teaching English. And yet we watched it.
We were set to leave super early in the morning, in another car booked with Sultan, to take us to Nukus (we will talk about that in the next post!). We checked out the night before since it would be so early, and told the Qosha Darvoza guys that we wouldn’t need breakfast that early since it would be too early for humans to eat. They were so nice that they wouldn’t let us skip breakfast, and instead they packed us a giant wine box full of an insane amount of dumplings (not for me but still, nice), water bottles (def for me!), bread, cucumbers and tomatoes (I know), pears, and cake. How sweet is that?! Yay for nice people! And it saved us from having to buy stuff for our train that night.
Everything else was bullshit though, and we’d have even more rudeness in our next stop. We were so sick of this country and how badly it wanted to screw with it, apparently, so we were kind of dragging ourselves from place to place and going through the motions. What a shame to feel this way when traveling in such far away, seemingly cool places! Well not everything can be a winner, and at least we saw some nice mosques and minarets and other old things.
