Carrot Ginger Soup with Whipped Avocado Cream: Eat Your Colors!by Randi / July 31, 2014
This bitch
The Emmy Awards are tomorrow! Yeah, on a Monday! And still in August! What’s up with that! What the hell? Who decided this? Not that it affects me but I’m sure it affects someone and that’s not right. I hope none of you are working late tomorrow.
Anyway, so we’re here again at this 4-hour dose of crazy called the Emmy Awards, honoring whatever the crap the insane voters (the most insane of any voting body except maybe Florida) want to honor in Television. Television is amazing, by the way. As those of you who actually know me know, if a person doesn’t watch Television I will not know how to converse with said person. But the Emmys don’t really honor the best – if that were true, Tatiana Maslany (of “Orphan Black”) would already have at least one statue, and Steve Carell two. No, even more than the Golden Globes (that’s right, I’m saying it), the Emmys are…whack. Totally whack. Sometimes, the most deserving nominees do win, but the nominations themselves are often ridiculous.*
Anyway, so we’re here again at this 4-hour dose of crazy called the Emmy Awards, honoring whatever the crap the insane voters (the most insane of any voting body except maybe Florida) want to honor in Television. Television is amazing, by the way. As those of you who actually know me know, if a person doesn’t watch Television I will not know how to converse with said person. But the Emmys don’t really honor the best – if that were true, Tatiana Maslany (of “Orphan Black”) would already have at least one statue, and Steve Carell two. No, even more than the Golden Globes (that’s right, I’m saying it), the Emmys are…whack. Totally whack. Sometimes, the most deserving nominees do win, but the nominations themselves are often ridiculous.*
I know what you’re thinking. You’re slowly raising your hand and saying, “Um, excuse me, but the Golden Globes nominations are more nonsensical than the continued popularity of the Ice Bucket Challenge.” Yes, that’s true, but we know the Globes are redonk. We expect the redonk from the Hollywood Foreigners and we LOVE it. The Globes are fun and everyone knows they only exist because the Hollywood Foreigners’ parents are out of town and they want famous people to help them raid the liquor cabinet. But people still consider the Emmys to be meaningful and valuable and, god help us, career defining. The Emmys are tricksters. And, as it reads on the signs in Berlin metro stations, beware of tricksters. Seriously, Steve Carell. Never won. These voters are awful.
So let’s talk about who should win out of this year’s milky-unmixed-cloudy-substance of the crop, and more importantly, who should have been nominated. Full disclosure: I don’t actually watch every Television show there is. Shocking! But I know stuff. Also, Seth Meyers is hosting. I love Seth Meyers, but in things like Weekend Update and especially his White House Correspondent’s Dinner performance, my favorite of all time. I am wary of his being able to match Tina and Amy or Jimmy Fallon, the best Emmy hosts ever, because he doesn’t seem silly. But I have high hopes.
So let’s talk about who should win out of this year’s milky-unmixed-cloudy-substance of the crop, and more importantly, who should have been nominated. Full disclosure: I don’t actually watch every Television show there is. Shocking! But I know stuff. Also, Seth Meyers is hosting. I love Seth Meyers, but in things like Weekend Update and especially his White House Correspondent’s Dinner performance, my favorite of all time. I am wary of his being able to match Tina and Amy or Jimmy Fallon, the best Emmy hosts ever, because he doesn’t seem silly. But I have high hopes.
*I mean, I guess that’s the same for every award out there, but still. E for egregious, Emmy.
**PPS, I’m going to use the f word (well the letter f because I’m a lady) a lot, I predict.
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BEST COMEDY SERIES
SERIOUSLY AMERICA??? F THIS. I am so sick of the lazy voting. It’s like 7 years ago voters checked off ‘annuity’ instead of ‘cash’ for “Big Bang” and “Modern Family” and so their votes get renewed every year without a second thought. Yes, they are funny to some people, but come the f on, Bridget. Even the incredible “Louie” isn’t in there because voters actually watch and respect it; it’s in there every year now because the voters are too lazy to actually see what’s out there and change something. BEST ACTRESS IN A COMEDY
What?? I love Melissa McCarthy and Lena Dunham, but STOP it, voters. Stop voting for the former just because you love her movie work and stop voting for the latter because you love her writing. Voters don’t even watch EITHER of their shows, I guarantee it. How do I know? Because the old people composing this voting group don’t watch “Girls”, and they certainly don’t watch “Molly” because NO ONE DOES. BEST ACTOR IN A COMEDY
UGHHH!!!! Do you know how much it absolutely pains me to admit that Parsons is 99.9% likely to win yet afreakinggain on Sunday? I mean yes he is great and created a wonderful character but ENOUGH. FFS!!!! This entire category is a bunch of lazy recycled flooey. There’s no inspiration, there’s no ingenuity, no real thought evidenced. Same old same old, maybe some new but not really, lazy lazy lazy. My vote would have been for…none of these. It would have been for Chris Messina of “The Mindy Project”. He is PERFECTION. Seriously, do you watch it? I’m not just saying that because Mindy Kaling has written the most perfect romantic comedy leading man in a long time. He is a fantastic actor and he brings out genius and emotion in every single line. “I’ll have whatever gave her an orgasm!” will stand as the best paraphrase of all time. OF ALL TIME. How many times did you rewind the airplane scene? Did it even compare to how many times you watched the part where he tries to dress like Bradley Cooper for Mindy? OR WHEN HE DANCED??? Seriously. SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY
I partly love this group and partly hate. Oh my lordy lord why is Julie Bowen nominated every year? It’s like her name was written in permanent marker on the dry erase board and no one can get it off so they’re like eh whatever, she’s good, let it stay up there. BUT COME ON. She’s good but she’s been doing the same thing for like 14 seasons and there is so much new fresh talent out there that deserves recognition. Also she scares me. SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY
Last year, Tony Hale’s surprise win was one of the very best moments. Everyone loves Baby Buster, and he’s the easiest pick for the lazy voters this year because of that moment. (He also would definitely deserve it, because he submitted the nosebleed episode.) Andre might sneak in to win it, as his foray into comedy is what made B99 a success thus far. The “Modern Family” nominations are driving me absolutely bonkers and I can’t deal with them any longer. Stop it. I’m excited for Adam Driver but not for this past season. Maybe for next season. And who doesn’t like Fred Armisen (I mean I’m sure tons of people?) but…who besides vegans watches “Portlandia”? |
BEST DRAMA SERIES
Lazy lazy lazy, stick your head in gravy, ashes, ashes, you should all fall down. “Downton Abbey”? Give me a f-ing break! The first two seasons, sure, they were deserving of a nomination. But no more! Please, no more! America! You must get over this blind obsession with all this British! Ugh! Also, it’s a comedy. Watch it as a comedy and your mind will be blown. It should switch places with OITNB because the latter deserves to be in this category. BEST ACTRESS IN A DRAMA
Oh man are you as sick as I am of the lazy Michelle Dockery nomination every year? I just don’t get it. And “Homeland” gosh it feels like that hasn’t been on for years. That of course shouldn’t determine anything, but Claire has won a bunch and I like socialism in my awards. Julianna Margulies and Robin Wright are consistently awesome, but I just don’t see either of them winning. My vote would be for the ridiculously amazing and gorgeous Kerry Washington, who last year made cryface even better (and more often!) than Claire Danes. She should have won last year, especially after her co-presenter Diane Carroll pretty much said “Hey babe you’re gonna win later tonight” and then she LOST. That’s embarrassing. But I think Lizzy Caplan gets it this year because she’s on a new buzzy show that probably won’t win elsewhere (because it’s not nominated elsewhere). And come on, who doesn’t want Janis Ian to win? BEST ACTOR IN A DRAMA
Oh my god, if Jeff Daniels wins again I think every head in that theatre will explode. How crazy was that last year? And not good crazy. Crazy crazy. Woody Harrelson deserved a nod for his stint as Nathan “I’ve got my spleen money” NoLastName on “Will & Grace” but I don’t feel it here. And how nice would it be if Jon Hamm, always excellent but always a bridesmaid, finally finally won? He won’t though. Kevin Spacey deserves a win, but this race is between Cranston and McConaughey. Honestly, if McConaughey wins an EMMY the same year he won an OSCAR (over Chiwetel FFS!!!) I think my skin may just fall off. I guess we’ll see, because there’s actually a strong chance he’ll beat the favoritest Cranston for his final season as the most lovable (?) meth dealer in history on “Breaking Bad”. BB will either sweep its categories in a wave of final respects, or it’ll lose all its categories. Or something in between. SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA
Ok. Deep breaths. Yes, Frogwoman and McGonagall are inexplicably nominated AGAIN for that show about annoying Brits. Jesus H! Maggie Smith has like 3 lines per season. I love Maggie so much, who doesn’t, but come the f on. 3 lines. And she’s won for this show like multiple times! And she’s never there to accept it! Move onnnnn Emmy voters! Move onnnnnn! Stop worrying if your vision is new/let others make that decision/they usually do/just keep moving onnnnnn! SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA
Okay, I’m not actually angry about this category. In fact, I think it is the only category this year that isn’t giving me agita. I would be happy with 3 of these guys winning, and that’s not even including the one I bolded above. (But let’s get that lazy “Downton” vote out of there first.) |
WHAT ELSE CAN YOU EXPECT?
Expect a win for Jimmy Fallon’s first season on “The Tonight Show” and a sheeeettonneeeee for “The Normal Heart”. It wasn’t even half as brilliant and wrenching and soul-shattering as the last Broadway revival and still it was one of the best things on Television all season.
Do not expect a musical number.
Expect a directing win for none other than two-time Oscar winner Jodie Foster, for her direction of OITNB. Maybe she will EGOT? Can she sing?
Do not expect anyone to mention Lin-Manuel Miranda’s win at the Creatives last week, making him one of the few people who already have 3 of the 4 trophies necessary for an EGOT. He’s gonna do it. I can feel it.
Expect someone to present obviously drunk and for twitter to explode about it. And for the best part of the night to be the Best Actress in a Comedy nominees doing something silly as their category is announced.
ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Expect a win for Jimmy Fallon’s first season on “The Tonight Show” and a sheeeettonneeeee for “The Normal Heart”. It wasn’t even half as brilliant and wrenching and soul-shattering as the last Broadway revival and still it was one of the best things on Television all season.
Do not expect a musical number.
Expect a directing win for none other than two-time Oscar winner Jodie Foster, for her direction of OITNB. Maybe she will EGOT? Can she sing?
Do not expect anyone to mention Lin-Manuel Miranda’s win at the Creatives last week, making him one of the few people who already have 3 of the 4 trophies necessary for an EGOT. He’s gonna do it. I can feel it.
Expect someone to present obviously drunk and for twitter to explode about it. And for the best part of the night to be the Best Actress in a Comedy nominees doing something silly as their category is announced.
ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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A German Life at the Bridge Theatre: Maggie Smith is a Treasure; This Show is Not
It’s Theatre Thursday! A German Life is playing at London’s Bridge Theatre until May 11.
First of all, let me be clear that Maggie Smith is one of a handful of global treasures (pronounced tray-sure, like fellow old-lady-treasure Emily Gilmore). If she wanted to be an honorary Golden Girl I’d allow it. She’s the best. I love her. I wish her decades more of life and health and work.
A German Life is one of the most painful theatrical events I’ve ever had the non-playsure of experiencing. And not in a good ‘oh that was dramatic and heavy in a necessary way’ kind of painful. I mean it was torture. It was almost two hours straight of wondering in agony whether Maggie Smith was losing her short-term memory and forgetting lines (the thought of which was heartbreaking), or whether this was a purposeful choice for her character. Either way, it was painful to watch. It was hundo p when you visit an older person in a nursing home and you listen to their rambling stories and how it takes them a year to get out one sentence, and once they get the sentence out, they repeat it three times so they can figure out where they wanted to go from there and you’re just like OH MY GOD SPIT IT OUT but you can’t because that’s a horrible thing to think and say (when you aren’t talking to a Nazi).
And yes, all this means that Maggie was entirely successful in her portrayal (it had to be an acting decision, right, because Maggie Smith is still IN HER PRIME) of a 105-year-old woman. I mean, it’s incredible that a 105-year-old woman managed to communicate all that she did. But realism and accuracy in the portrayal doesn’t automatically make for good theatre.
What also doesn’t make for good theatre is that the show gets its message across in about 10 minutes, and the rest of the time is just playing that same one note for longer. And the message…isn’t enough. In A German Life, Maggie plays Brunhilde Pomsel, former secretary to Joseph Goebbels during WWII. The real Pomsel broke her silence at age 105 when she spoke to a group of filmmakers about her life. This play, by Christopher Hampton, is based on that. Maggie sits in a chair as Brunhilde and talks to us about her life like we are filming her for the documentary. The significance of her testimony is that she was a Nazi, who worked in Goebbels’ propaganda wing, who doesn’t think she did anything wrong. In her recounting of wartime, she spends more time explaining her favorite suit she got from Mrs. Goebbels than sharing anything she knew about what was happening in the war. It’s an effective portrait of willful ignorance, I’ll give it that. We spend this time with a self-involved person who hasn’t learned any lesson still, and so we are supposed to reflect on what makes someone ignore such atrocity, and what we would have done differently, if anything.
What bothers me about this show is how frustrated I am that the subtle messaging is not going to reach some people. Instead of thinking how horrifying it is that this woman still doesn’t get it, still thinks she was a victim for what she faced post-war, some people are going to go ‘hmm that really makes you think, there could be very fine people on both sides.’ I’m all for subtle theatre, but our audience needed to be told more clearly that Nazis were bad. I’m not joking. As usual, this show was a prime example of the disturbing humor of London audiences. Without fail, whenever there’s a soul-shocking line that would make normal humans breathe in sharply or widen their eyes or gasp, we’re with an audience that laughs. The most alarming example in my experience previously was when, in Caroline, or Change, Caroline told the young Jewish boy in her care that his people go to hell. It’s a big gasp moment. OUR AUDIENCE LAUGHED. And not in a nervous laughter way that some people on Broadway did; this was in a ‘oh that’s funny because making fun of Jews is funny’ way. Well, the Bridge audience at A German Life matched that distress by laughing every single time Maggie’s character made fun of Jews, especially their appearance, their penny-pinching ways, and especially when she motioned slightly at her nose to comment about Jews’ big noses. The audience roared. This is why anti-Semitism is back; it’s by popular demand.
And that’s why this show didn’t work for me and mostly frustrates me. It’s extremely subtle in its message, because all we get is her story and her words. It only works for people who know that the Nazis were bad and that anti-Semitism was, is, wrong. So, today, when more and more people don’t realize that anti-Semitism is wrong, they laugh along with Brunhilde like it’s their granny and then come away thinking ‘maybe not all Nazis were bad! She seemed fine!’ It’s ridiculous that I have to say this, today, but apparently we as a society haven’t reached the point where subtlety in anti-Nazi messaging makes any headway. I know some of you are like ‘you’re assuming all of that just because people laughed at the wrong things?’ No, I’m assuming all of that because of the conversations I have had every single day since 2016 about what is or is not anti-Semitic, and how often I’ve been told that just because something is anti-Semitic doesn’t mean it’s bad. When we still have people who are like ‘eh but Jews’, a restrained portrait of a non-actively-evil Nazi isn’t going to get through to anyone who needs it.
INFORMATION
I’ve previously raved about the human-friendly, modern design of the Bridge, but that was when I sat in the stalls. Sitting in the weird nether-region of the Gallery 1, which is really just more stalls at the back walls of the theatre, separated from the regular stalls by a half-step and a banister. It felt much more cramped than the regular stalls and at a weird side angle. Definitely won’t be sitting there again.
Infuriatingly, the show started 10 minutes late, in order to seat all latecomers. This is because this show has a policy of no admission or readmission once the show begins – but they also publicized the policy of ‘no latecomers allowed in’. Get your story straight! Don’t hold the curtain for people who are 10 minutes late, man alive.
Be More Chill in London is an Incredibly Fun Modern Musical, Against All Odds
The youth culture monster Be More Chill, by Joe Iconis, has finally hit London. I dreaded seeing it because I’m An Adult who appreciates High Art. I girded my loins and I evoked Chandler thinking “could I BE any more nervous about seeing this show?” And guess what? It was a whole lot of fun, both silly and earnest, with a book that despite being a little predictable is also as clever as it is enjoyable, and I am shocked.
Why am I shocked? After all, yoots have been obsessed with Be More Chill for years now, overjoyed to finally get a show that reflects what high school life and concerns are like nowadays without requiring you to sob through it. But everything I heard about the New York productions from people of discerning taste was that it’s too loud, too annoying, with a score that’s basically just noise and a plot that’s completely eye roll. So is the London production really that much better or are we just getting desperate for good shows over here? Maybe these people, whose opinions I usually value, are just not as fun-loving and happy-go-lucky as lil bab childlike me. (I told you I can be funny.) Maybe the relatively small Other Palace is just the perfect theatre to house this show. Or maybe I just still have the soul of a 14-year-old. Maybe it’s all of that but whatever the reasons, I found Be More Chill surprisingly entertaining, enjoyable, and, honestly, of decent quality. No I’m not going to listen to the cast recording until I memorize every breath like I usually do (I tried, it’s not my kind of score), but seeing it live? So fun!
Be More Chill tells the story of Jeremy (Scott Folan, very good but I fear he will lose his voice soon), a huge nerd trying to get through the school day without too much trouble and maybe with a run-in with the girl he likes, Christine (Miracle Chance, cute and yes that’s her real name not the character name I forking love her parents). He learns a huge secret: Japan has new technology called a Squip, which implants on your brain and controls your behavior via a sort of Bad Janet that only you can see, who helps you make cool dude decisions so you can stop being a nerd and start being awesome. I DID SAY I WANTED ORIGINAL STORIES, DIDN’T I.
Obvs Jeremy gets one on the black market (he mentions using his Bar Mitzvah money to pay for it, which is the kind of casual Jewish representation that WE NEED to help normalize it in this anti-Semitic country, MORE OF THIS PLZ (also it’s like the first tiny step in a long future of necessary apologies I require from The Other Palace for Falsettos)) and while it does make him cooler, there are consequences, like alienating his best friend Michael (Blake Patrick Anderson, honestly incred), treating people like dirt, and, of course, the Little Shop-like twist that our trusty Squip (Stewart Clarke) and his fellow Bad Janets intend to take over the world (so he’s def more Audrey-II-But-Hot-and-Straight-Out-of-the-Matrix than our beloved Bad Janet who LEARNED and REDEEMED herself). So, like what I originally assumed Parasite was going to be about (I did not read about it in advance, as I was instructed).
What’s great about this show is…not so much the music, which is serviceable but does indeed start to resemble a wall of noise towards the end of Act I (especially the whole Burning down the House section which was too close to going clubbing and seemed like just an excuse for a dance break) (shocking because I love so much of Joe’s music (no not just his amazing “Broadway Here I Come” from Smash…but yeah that is my fave)). The story, even though it’s this futuristic techno crazyspice, is really a completely universal tale about friendship, insecurity, and being okay with being yourself. The clever book, by Joe Tracz (based on Ned Vizzini’s book) (no not that Vizzini), weaves through storylines and achieves callbacks with finesse and humor. It’s definitely American slanted, and I’m glad they didn’t rewrite some of the best parts for London, because we appreciated the bejesus out of the references to New Jersey malls, Ghostbusters ecto cooler, and so much more. (The people near us were probably like WHAT IS SO FUNNY ABOUT PARAMUS.)
Anderson’s “Michael in the Bathroom”, the famous song to come out of this show and the only one I sort of like out of context, is the showstopper you hope it’ll be, due to its wonderful role in the story, relatable message, and Anderson’s pitch-perfect performance. He’s clearly very talented and I hope we see a lot more of him in future shows. Millie O’Connell, probably the most famous name in the cast, doesn’t have much to do, but when she does get to shine it’s hilarious, like in her very Alexis-Rose-oh-that’s-cute-for-you book scenes. Even Jeremy’s dad gets to have a ball (no reference to the fact that he’s pantsless most of the time intended). The whole cast is having a blast and it’s impossible not to join in.
INFORMATION
Be More Chill is playing at London’s The Other Palace until June 14, after extending another 6 weeks. (I don’t think it can extend again due to TOP’s future season but it is breaking all sorts of box office records there, so.)
The first act ended after 72 minutes and the second exactly at the 2 ½ hour mark overall so good work team.
The Other Palace is an okayyy theatre. Seating is in just one giant section of central-aisle-less rows, a solid block and a super steep one at that, so unless you like being trapped for what can seem like forever, sit closer to the aisles and further up/back. For the first time ever, I sat in the back of the theatre and not only did I not get trapped behind slowpokes when exiting, but the view from the back is just as good. Highly recommend my new fave seats.
Bathrooms are out in the lobby by the bar and also behind a secret (ish) door right next to the house left side of the stage, which few people know about.
This is the first time I’ve ever seen an off-West End production sell merch, which isn’t even the done thing all too often at regular West End shows, so if you want clothing and what not, good for you.
Be warned, since this is a show that attracts cult-like superfans, there’s a lot of dancing in the seats and mouthing along, which got super annoying and distracting but not enough to detract from the show. Also lots of over-the-top wrapper noise which is just par for the humanity course nowadays because everyone is monsters.
