Buy Xanax In India Buy Phentermine Diet Pills Online Buy Xanax Xr Online Buy Xanax Toronto Order Ambien Online Buy Xanax From Usa
Sunday, December 22, 2024
Top News

Yummy Pasta Alert! Apple-Sage Sausage, Chard, & Cashew-Pistachio Cream

July 29, 2014
0
Share
     I only made this because I like using hyphens. And because it’s uhhhmazing! This is rapidly becoming my favorite pasta dish. It’s really easy but it tastes like it’s difficult. You cook the best type of Field Roast sausage, the apple sage kind, with its perfectly paired green – rainbow swiss chard – and put it over fusilli. Then, you whip up this amazing creamy cheesy sauce in two seconds in your blender, and voila! Breakfast! No that’s from “Rookie of the Year”! I mean dinner! Or breakfast! Whatever you want dude! 

             I like to pair this pasta with a simple green salad without dressing, because I’ll inevitably wipe up the remaining sauce with the leaves, as I do with any salad and any sauce. Also, I used quinoa-brown rice pasta (from Trader Joe’s) for this, so it can be easily made gluten-free. Of course, I’m not sure about any of the sauce ingredients being gluten-free. And, of courser, the Field Roast sausage is made of gluten, I’m pretty sure. But then even more of courser, most punks nowadays claiming they are gluten-free only mean they don’t want to eat pasta and bread because scary carbs/they don’t understand nutrition and people with real gluten allergies already know what they can and can’t eat so I don’t have to worry about it. So! 
Gluten-Free (or Not! Probably Not!) Pasta with Apple-Sage Sausage, Swiss Chard, & Cashew-Pistachio Cream
The foods
Ingredients:

  • 1 pound fusilli pasta (make sure it’s gluten-free because carbs and idiots)
  • 2T olive oil
  • 1 medium onion, chopped small
  • 2 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1 pound Swiss Chard (I love getting the pre-washed bag of rainbow chard from Trader Joe’s), chopped
  • 1 package Field Roast Apple Sage Sausages (4 little wieners), diced in small half-moons

Directions: 

  1. Cook the pasta according to package directions and set aside. Don’t leave in the colander in the sink where people might wash dog food off their hands because then you will have to repeat this instruction. 
  2. Heat the onion in the oil in a large pot on medium-high heat and cook for about 5 minutes until browning.
  3. Add the garlic and cook for another 2 minutes.
  4. Add the sausage and cook through for about 5 minutes, adding a little water if it sticks too much.
  5. Pour the chard on top of the cooking sausage, adding a tiny bit of water (like less than 1/4C), and cover to let it cook down. The moisture from the chard will help the sausage cook and not stick so don’t add too much water.
  6. When everything is cooked, pour the pasta into the pot and stir everything through.

Cream sauce
Ingredients: 

  • 1/2 C raw cashews (buy the pieces; they are cheaper!)
  • 1/3 C raw pistachios
  • 2 cloves garlic
  • 1/2 C unsweetened original almond milk
  • 2t dijon mustard
  • 2t miso
  • 2t tamari
  • lots and lots of black pepper
  • 1/2C nutritional yeast (NOOCH)
  • 1-2 handfuls of fresh parsley 

Directions:

  1. Dump everything in a high-speed blender. (If you only have a regular blender, you’ll prob have to pre-soak your nuts.)
  2. Blend until smooth.
  3. Pour over the pasta.
  4. Enjoy!!!!

Picture

Party girls don’t get hurt

Picture

Can’t feel anything, when will I learn

Picture

I push it down, push it downnnn

Picture

123 123 drink, throw em back till I lose count

Picture

IIIIII’M GONNA SWIIIIIIING FROM THE CHANDELIEEEERRRR

Picture

FROM THE CHANDELIEEEEEERRRR

Picture

Yuuummm! You should eat with a fork because it is pasta (and maybe salad). I used a spoon because I don’t like dirtying extra things. Also I usually just use my fingers. And my face.
I really loved the fresh parsley as an addition to an otherwise heavy cream. You can use this sauce in so many ways: over tofu or tempeh, in mashed potatoes (ERMA P. GERD), over pretty much anything you want except ice cream. I hope you enjoy! 

Picture

I’M GONNA FLYYYY LIKE A BIRD THROUGH THE NIGHT
Related Posts

Sunday Night! Pizza Night! In America! – Al Roker

January 20, 2014
0

Picture

      While most people were watching football today (American football, where the foot rarely touches the ball), I decided to celebrate Pizza Night In America (as Al Roker announces every week…right?) by breaking in my brand new pizza stone! Yes, thanks to my bestie known around here as The Bean, I can no longer complain about not owning a pizza stone! (And after buying myself a Vitamix for Christmas, I’m running out of equipment-based things to complain about. Not that I’m complaining.) 

      Blessed with a few rolls of Field Roast sausage waiting to be used, I decided to top a bean-spread-based pizza with it, along with roasted cauliflower, a ton of roasted garlic, and some greens I had lying around. As you may know from my past pizza-making expeditions, I’m a big fan of replacing cheese or cheese-like substances, and sometimes (like now!) even sauce, with bean spreads. White beans are really the tofu of the bean world (I guess aside from soy beans…), waiting to be turned into anything you want. Except for brownies. Seriously, chill with that noise.
       I’m pretty sure the pizza stone ranks as one of the smartest inventions in human history. The crust slid right off the stone, it browned nicely all around, and even though I used about twice as much dough as I should have (you can’t really tell, but I redefined the term ‘deep dish’ – and so can you!), it cooked perfectly throughout the massive folds of bread. Delicious!      
       Obviously, this will work with a wide variety of items you might have on hand, but I have to recommend following my lead with spinach and pre-sauteed Brussels sprouts. Or, better yet, arugula and spinach mixed together. I’m not a huge fan of arugula eaten raw, but it’s great on pizza. 
       Sadly, I realized that I was out of nooch. I KNOW! Perish the thought. This is a really serious problem. Please, everybody, to avoid a fate similar to mine, please make sure that you have a backstock of nooch. Don’t fail your future self. Keep nooch well-stocked as if it was the only way to thwart a nuclear attack. Happily, I realized that I can make a cheesy white bean spread without nooch. (Not that I’ll ever do it again.) So the below recipe is great for those of you who didn’t prepare well, or who don’t like nooch. 
SOME PRETTY GREAT PIZZA
Components:

  • 1 batch pizza dough 
  • 1 batch bean spread 
  • Sauteed Brussels sprouts 
  • Roasted cauliflower and garlic
  • 3 Cups fresh spinach
  • 2 tubes Field Roast sausage

Ingredients for pizza dough:

  • 4C wheat flour
  • 2t salt
  • 2C warm-to-hot water
  • 1 packet active yeast
  • 1.5 T sugar

Directions:

  1. In a glass measuring cup, mix your sugar and warm water together. Add the yeast and make sure it starts jumping. Let sit for at least 5 minutes. 
  2. Mix your flour and salt together in a large mixing bowl.
  3. Add the yeasty water to the flour bowl. Mix together and then knead like the wind.
  4. Knead some more. Get out all of your anger at your past self for not stocking enough nooch.
  5. Clean and oil the bowl, roll the dough around it in to get it all oiled up, and cover it with a dish towel. Let it sit in a warm place for 2 hours. 

Ingredients for white bean spread:

  • 2 cans (3 cups) white/cannellini beans
  • 4T water
  • juice of one large lemon
  • 2T  soy sauce
  • 1/2 cup cashews
  • 3t dijon mustard
  • 3T tahini
  • 2t garlic powder

Directions: 

  1. Blend in a blender. Or a food processor. You got this. 

For the Brussels sprouts:

  • 1/2 pound shaved Brussels sprouts
  • 1T olive oil
  • 1/2 t salt

Directions:

  1. I usually like roasting these, but today I was feeling sauteeing them first to soften and oilize them against the crunchy roasted cauliflower. 
  2. In a sauce pan, heat the oil over medium high heat, then add the sprouts and salt. Cook for about 10 minutes, until totally soft.

For the cauliflower and garlic:

  • 1 head cauliflower, chopped very finely 
  • 1 head garlic, separated into cloves
  • 2 T olive oil
  • salt and pepper

Directions:

  1. Line a big baking sheet with parchment paper.
  2. Spread the cauliflower and all the garlic cloves onto the sheet.
  3. Drizzle the oil over it all, and mix with your hands to spread it and massage it into the cauliflower. 
  4. Sprinkle salt and pepper over everything.
  5. Bake for about 30 minutes at 350F. 

Assemblage:

  1. Put your pizza stone in the oven and preheat it to 350F. Whee!!!
  2. Roll out your pizza dough. Today, my dough was really yielding and it let me spin it like a real eyetalian. 
  3. Form the crust so that it puffs up when it bakes, because puffy crust is the best.
  4. Spread the bean dip in a thick layer all over the dough (not on the crust part).
  5. Top that layer with all the cauliflower and garlic.
  6. Top that with the Brussels sprouts. Try to spread everything evenly. And densely.
  7. Top that with the spinach. It’ll shrink down almost immediately upon being placed in the hot oven, so don’t worry about it being all poufy. 
  8. Top that with the sliced sausage. 
  9. Top that. 
  10. Bake for about 20 minutes until the crust starts to get golden.

Picture

Brussels, cauliflower, and garlic successfully placed.

Picture

How good is Field Roast. This kind was pretty darn spicy. Love it.

Picture

Now that is some crust.

Picture

I love sharing pictures of my yeast jumping because it is magic!

Picture

Look how pretty my new stuff is! Thanks brotherrrr.

Picture

Beans & cashews & other things oh my!

Picture

I want to go to there. Not to a saucepan. To Brussels. I love that statue of the little boy peeing. I don’t know.

Picture

Objects in picture look a lot bigger than they actually were.

Picture

GLUTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Picture

I made hummus in a blender, look at me I’m a rebel.

Picture

Aw man it kind of looks like my pie mousse. It’s not!

Picture

Spinach! We’re movie clockwise here.

Picture

Cooked & shriveled.

Picture

Enjoy! It’s real good.
      Is there anything better than Pizza Night? I might have to make this a regular weekly or biweekly fixture now that I have a Stone. So exciting! What are your favorite pizza toppings? Is pizza your favorite food? I went to a casting call when I was like 11 (just for shits and giggles) and about 30 girls were asked “What’s your favorite food?” Every single one of us said pizza, except for one girl, who said “raviolis”. I said to her, “Um that’s not a word. Ravioli is already the Italian plural form.” She got a callback. Bitch. 
Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *