Sunday Night! Pizza Night! In America! - Al Rokerby Randi / January 20, 2014
You may recall that a few weeks ago, during my first week of P90X3, I was pretty disappointed. The majority of the opening workouts are lackluster and, though certain moves are really hard, I felt that the workouts overall are not hard enough. My trusty PPKers told me that Beachbody considers X3 to be a precursor, and therefore easier, than P90X, which is in turn a precursor/easier than P90X2. If this is true, I’m quite peeved that this wasn’t made clear, because I would have been tempted to get X2. Does anyone have experience with it?
Nonetheless, I am determined to love X3, or at least parts of it, mostly because I missed the full return date while I was traveling. Fortunately, I am in really deep like with a few of them. For the past few weeks, to make up for the workouts that are less than thrilling, I decided to add a few Insanity workouts back in on days when I had extra time. There’s no better cardio in the world, and I think X3 is screaming for more cardio. Even if you add a bit of running or use the elliptical to loosen up first, that’s going to be beneficial. I was traveling for most of the past few weeks, and warming up with a few miles on hotel treadmills really made all the difference in my mind. So, I guess from now on I am doing kind of a hybrid. I am a bit reluctant to give up on pure X3, a decision which will definitely be clouding my results, but 90 days is too long to stop doing what I consider more well-rounded exercises that my body has gotten used to. The following descriptions contain my favorite combinations and order of exercises for Phase 1.
Day 1: Insanity Pure Cardio and X3 Total Synergistics
Even just with less than 2 weeks away from it, my Insanity workout killed me! I was huffing and puffing like I haven’t since more than a year ago. Damn. I felt good after though, and Total Synergistics is slow enough and strength-focused enough to act as a good wrap-up to the cardio workout. It’s really just a few pull-up moves, a few push-up moves, a few ab moves, and a few balance moves. That’s about it. Now, I am finding the final move, Warrior Moon, even more challenging than the first time. It’s pretty amazing. I am excited to improve my balance and quad strength with this move. It’s so hard! You go from a one-legged squat to Half Moon Pose to Warrior 3, and repeat like 8 times. Really hard, really good. While TS is one of the workouts that left me really disappointed, I really enjoy it as an add-on, especially with this final fantastic move.
Day 2: Insanity Cardio Circuit and Agility X
Mmm…maybe not the best two workouts to combine when I think back on it! However, given enough time to spare, I really enjoyed these together. This was quite a difficult combo and made me appreciate Agility X more. I enjoyed the running parts as a way to loosen up my tired legs, much more than I did when they were my only leg workout. But I’m still a little confused about what they are actually doing. Is the grapevine any different from the face-front weaving? Seriously, I can’t tell! Some moves seemed duplicative. I definitely enjoyed it more this week. Those one-legged hops from X-to-X are HARD! How are others doing with the plyometric pushups? Oh I almost forgot: The best thing about doing Agility X after the first time is knowing when to mute Tony’s “regular gym guy” mimicry session.
Day 3: Yoga X (P90X)
Not even a question – if I have time to do Yoga X, I’m going to do it. It’s my favorite yoga video of all time (OF ALL TIME!), but at 93 minutes or so, I don’t get to do it as much as I’d like. After the Day 2 combo, I definitely feel this, and I had to come out of a few (like the extended right angle pose) just to get feeling back into my legs. It was fun to watch this one after learning that Shawna is now Tony’s girlfriend! Was she back in the original X days? So cute! No wonder he always said she was so gorgeous in P90X. (And focused on her flexibility way too much.) Seriously, for people who don’t have the full P90X system, it’s worth buying this DVD as a single.
Day 4: Insanity Cardio Power & The Challenge
Now this combo I love! Cardio Power has arguably the most strength training of all the Insanity workouts – with tricep dips, tricep ball whatevers, shoulder dips, many rounds of pushups – and The Challenge is all upper-body strength. I really liked pairing these two. Soulmates. The Challenge is ridiculous. I’m pretty optimistic that I can’t come out of this program without being able to do an unassisted pull-up. Meanwhile, I’m using a stepstool. Do any of you still use assistance? How do you do it? And Cardio Power is my Insanity nemesis. I hate it – I hate how the warmup includes non-warm-uppy moves like power jacks and vertical jumps – but I love it – I love how perfectly belt kicks chill you out but still keep your heart up after power jumps, and that it builds up your ability to do mountain climbers in plank so well. This combo rocks.
Day 5: CVX
I think CVX is my favorite X3 workout. The moves are very doable but they raise your heart rate more than you expect. Adding a weight or medicine ball makes this video what it is. I think the definition and strength I’ve noticed is due to holding a weight during this workout. I freaking love it. This one suffices on its own. This is the 30-minute workout X3 promised. I do think it needs maybe 3-5 minutes of running in place and jumping jacks as added warm-up and cool-down, but that’s easily added.
Day 6: The Warrior
Again, this is one that I love on its own. In fact, this was my favorite workout to do while I was traveling. The Warrior is perfect to do in small spaces no matter if you are outside on grass, at home on a hardwood floor, or in a corner of a carpeted hotel room. That’s what it was designed for, as Tony tells us he brought it to many military bases. I love the people in this video too. They remind me of Pam the Blam: no nonsense, just kicking ass. Elevator push-ups will continue to pose a challenge, as will those crazy super burpees. I don’t understand how that man in the back gets his legs so freaking high during them. What is happening there? I love it!
Day 7: Dynamix or X Stretch
Dynamix, which I skipped the first week, is a pretty pleasant way to stretch your body out and get blood flowing to your tired muscles. I really dislike the moves (in this and in Cool Start) that have you kneeling on one knee. It doesn’t necessarily hurt my bottom knee, but it doesn’t feel good either, and I can’t help but worry about what that pressure must be doing to other, less healthy knees. Aside from this, Dynamix is nice. That’s seriously the best word for this cool-down style workout. Isn’t that odd? It’s like the exercise equivalent of picking flowers. When time permits, I love to swap X Stretch, from P90X, instead. I always feel wonderful after this hour-long stretch session.
When traveling, I substituted the above Insanity workouts with a half-hour on hotel treadmills. Not the same in the least, but adequate. Actually, I think using the treadmill is mentally more difficult than Insanity workouts. So boring! Time moves so slowly on them. The next few review weeks will be late again, because of traveling and because I was sidelined for a while with the flu. Ugh. I am excited to see what the new videos bring. I hope I love them!
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P90X3 Review: Week 1 – Boys & Girls, Buy My Products! Oh You Already Did?
If you can’t tell by the title of this post, I’m a bit peeved. Tony Horton has gone even crazier than he was before.
After hearing that “bum-ba-bum-ba-bum-bum BEACHBODY” title ditty nearly every day for the last five years, I was/am excited to try the fitness empire’s newest offering: P90X3. It will be very trying to give up my favorite workout, Insanity!, for 3 months, but I am curious to see if X3 really can provide the power plays of the original P90X in half the time. (God those P90X strength hours were boooooring. Thank goodness for Bobby Stevenson and Daniel Haas. And, of course, Pam the Blam, who I want to be president.) I decided to review X3 here to keep me motivated. In doing the newest X workout, I hope that 1) I will be able to do all kinds of creative pull-ups by the end, and many of them, and 2) I’ll restart Insanity! for the bazillionth time after finishing and do better than ever. (I’ll review that one too, when we get there.)
After hearing that “bum-ba-bum-ba-bum-bum BEACHBODY” title ditty nearly every day for the last five years, I was/am excited to try the fitness empire’s newest offering: P90X3. It will be very trying to give up my favorite workout, Insanity!, for 3 months, but I am curious to see if X3 really can provide the power plays of the original P90X in half the time. (God those P90X strength hours were boooooring. Thank goodness for Bobby Stevenson and Daniel Haas. And, of course, Pam the Blam, who I want to be president.) I decided to review X3 here to keep me motivated. In doing the newest X workout, I hope that 1) I will be able to do all kinds of creative pull-ups by the end, and many of them, and 2) I’ll restart Insanity! for the bazillionth time after finishing and do better than ever. (I’ll review that one too, when we get there.)
But after finishing Week 1, do you know what I’ve accomplished? I’ve been able to hold my shit together enough to not throw the 5-pound weight at the TV as Tony repeatedly and continuously reviews the selling points of X3 and mocks people who go to the gym instead. It bears repeating – he wastes most of his airtime trying to sell a system that the people watching HAVE ALREADY BOUGHT. It’s nigh infuriating. Has he lost his mind? Does he not realize what he’s doing? Does he not realize how annoying it is, or that many people, including yours truly, cannot harness the power of Thor and work out at her best when she is so annoyed?
It’s not all bad. Some of the workouts actually do provide a great workout in only 30 minutes. Some of them suck. Let’s review week 1!
It’s not all bad. Some of the workouts actually do provide a great workout in only 30 minutes. Some of them suck. Let’s review week 1!
Day 1: Total Synergistics
Kind of mad about this workout! During this mixture of strength moves, I didn’t break a sweat – and that is not a comment about how I’m so in shape or anything like that. It’s just slow and sparse with moves (yet it felt longer than my usual actually longer workouts). I hope that it is easier to balance out what is coming tomorrow, but I can’t help feeling cheated out of a workout today.
A few things:
- Cold Start, the 12-minute warm-up to add when it’s extra cold out, or when you are extra tight, is on every DVD. It’s not a separate DVD. This would have been helpful to know before starting, because I wasted 20 minutes looking for it and searching for “I didn’t get Cold Start DVD in my X3 package!” tweets.
- The Branon Boat is my favorite move from this. It’s a difficult ab move that I can pretty much do, but not easily, and I can tell that with practice I will improve. That’s how the exercises should be.
- Crawly Push Ups were fun, but they weren’t enough to make up for the lackluster push-up presence.
As for the backup team, Dreya is back! But she is a shadow of her former self, and it made me sad. She can still kick some serious ass, but she no longer has an ass. :/
Day 2: Agility X
This was a much better workout than Total Synergistics, but it’s not even as good as Plyo X from regular P90X. Again, it just felt like half of that workout, not a more intense version.
So, this workout requires that you tape up your floor so you have exact points to aim for while you jump and run. I like that in theory, but in practice it sucks. Who has floors equipped for this? My tape slipped all over.
This workout has the famous plyo push-ups that we saw in the teaser trailer, and they are amazingly fun. I took it easy and didn’t go very high off the ground, because I like having the use of my wrists. How is this move harder than the power push-ups in Insanity, when you jump to your feet? It doesn’t make sense. But it is. Nice move!
All the running along the tapes seemed very silly. It would have been great to do during the warm-up, but it seemed lame to be the crux of the workout. In contrast, the jumping from X to X on one leg was a solid, difficult move. Approved!
The last 5 minutes of this video is the main reason for my annoyance at Tony. For way too long, he pretends to be a guy going to the gym, needing to change out of his suit from work, and using the elliptical machine and not getting good results, etc. Basically, 5 minutes of preaching to the choir that ‘this is the way to exercise’. Like, WE ALREADY BOUGHT THIS. What the hell is his point? It is actually revoltingly annoying.
It’s not helped by Tony’s repeated suggestions that one of the backup team members, Lauren, ‘Beyonce-ify’ everything. What the hell. It’s really annoying. Between the Beyoncification and Tony’s sales pitch, I dread doing this workout again.
Day 3: Yoga X3
Hot damn. Ok. So I know from the forums that Yoga X, the 90-minute Yoga from P90X, is one of the most polarizing issues since Anne Hathaway. So many people despise it. I adore it. I’ve continued doing it regularly even though I haven’t done the rest of X in years (save for ARX, because it’s the best). Needless to say, I had high hopes for this supposedly more intense version.
Instead of doing Yoga X3, I suggest that you do the first 40 minutes of the original Yoga X. Or really any yoga video marked intermediate or above. X3 is boring and barely made my muscles twitch. Yes, many of the positions are difficult, but you are only holding them for a few beats, not long enough to make a dent. It’s maybe worth doing once to see the man in the backup team, who is one of the most impressive yogis I’ve ever had the privilege of watching. Man alive! Or you can use it as a rest day video, as I might. But it’s not nearly strong enough to use on a full, hard workout day. So disappointing.
Day 4: CVX
Now we’re talking! This cardio workout pushed me the hardest yet, finally. It contains familiar cardio moves, some easier than others, but you do the entire thing holding a weight (or a ball). I used a 5-pound weight, and I was struggling by the end. I loved it. Now this is what a 30-minute workout should look like. It’s not impossible, but you feel like you actually broke a sweat. You might need a break, but you don’t feel silly taking it or like you are wasting precious time. Phew. Finally, a plus in the ‘pro’ column. I look forward to doing this workout again.
Day 5: The Challenge
This is one of those days when I wished I had time to do some cardio first, but I was counting on the video to provide a well-rounded workout. Although it doesn’t give any cardio, it is a solid strength workout, alternating entirely between pull-ups and push-ups, pull-ups and push-ups, until you can’t use your arms anymore. I quite enjoyed it, even though I still can’t do unassisted pull-ups. (Remember – if I don’t return it – that this is my major goal with using this system!) My upper body is super sore (in a good way…except for my neck, which is twingey), and I don’t feel like I wasted my exercise time.
I recommend, as I did, doing jumping jacks or running in place between each move. Otherwise, it’s too stationary. Also, the light cardio helps to loosen up your quickly dying upper body muscles.
You might be thinking, ‘it doesn’t seem like a good enough workout to get your approval after how harsh you are being.’ And you’re right. It’s just decent, but you know what pushes it over the edge? BOBBY STEVENSON! My aforementioned 3rd favorite part of P90X is back! He’s like 20 years older, gray, and the spitting image of Bill Nye the Science Guy, but I’m so glad my old friend is back.
Day 6: The Warrior
Yes! Now, this is the workout P90X3 promised to provide. Finally. Tony said (several times) that he brings this mix of push-up challenges and squat challenges to military bases around the world. It was a solid, difficult combination of isometric holds and explosive movements. My favorite move was the elevator push-up, when you start in plank and lower to push-up position and all ranges in between upon Tony’s call of floor levels (like, Floor 1 is down as far as you can, Floor 2 is a bit higher, &c.). That is really hard to maintain! It’s overall a great combo workout that I look forward to doing again. However, I’m glad I did a little warm-up on the treadmill to start, because it’s definitely more strength than cardio. If my time permits, I would do a good 10 minutes of extra warming up.
On that note, it seems that the determination to make each workout about 30 minutes resulted in very awkward cuts, rather than solid planning. The warm-ups and stretches are virtually nonexistent. To be safe, you should probably warm-up and stretch on your own, or at the very least do Cold Start (which is a semi-decent way to get blood-flowing). Obviously, this throws the whole dramatic selling point of ’30 minutes!!!’ out the window. In workouts like Total Synergistics and Yoga X3, the cutting resulted in very disjointed, meager plans that don’t provide cohesive workouts, let alone make you sweat.
A few videos this week were great, and I hope that the remaining videos are even better. So far, I’m not sold, but I’m not giving up yet. I’ll be back next week reviewing either week 2…or week 4. I haven’t decided whether to skip ahead to check the different videos out before the 30-day return period is up. Eek. Not a great start Tony! I know only two things that will fix this — much harder, more intense videos to come…or Pam the Blam!
Voting with Your Dollar: 3 More Co’s on My Naughty List, Plus Thoughts on Cashless Businesses
This is #2 in the Vote With Your Dollar series in which I ruin things you probably love, and I’m sorry, but like, the world is a mess and we should try to do better. Every other Friday I’ll be here ruining stuff for you!
Today we are discussing three more businesses across vegan food and clothing/commerce I will not support: Papa John’s Pizza, Wayfair home goods, and Forever 21 cheap ass clothing. I’ve also got some thoughts on the hottest trend in capitalism: cashless businesses.
Papa John’s Pizza
I have been vegan for 11 years now, so those of you who are likewise not baby vegans can appreciate how difficult it was when we were just starting out all those years ago. Remember those vegan ‘cheeses’ that were probably made of cardboard? Remember making your own almond milk (out of necessity and not preference)? Remember getting a dry portabella mushroom on a bun with an enormous roasted red pepper whenever you deigned to go to a restaurant? Suffice it to say, being vegan nowadays, especially in big cities like London, is unbelievably easy and fun and exciting. What new incredible product will be released today? What restaurant will announce a fantastic new vegan option today? What new vegan soft-serve can I find? It never ends!
However exciting all these developments are, not all of them are good. I don’t mean tasting; I’m sure they all taste good. But something being ‘vegan’ isn’t enough to warrant our support. The company has to not be an asshole, at MINIMUM. I think that’s a pretty good rule! It’s hard to enforce consistently, but that’s what I’m here to help with and I hope you’ll help me too: figuring out which companies are decent and which are Papa John’s. Oh, today’s Vegan Food I Don’t Support and You Can Decide on Your Own I’m Not Telling You Not to Patronize Them I’m Just Telling You What I Do is Papa John’s and their newish vegan pizza options. Listen. I’m sure it’s delicious. Well no, it is Papa John; I’m sure it’s edible. And I remember how sad it was to not find good vegan pizza for like, years! I get it! Pizza is the best food on the planet and you shouldn’t have to stop eating it as a vegan!
But there’s no reason to have to choose Papa John. First of all, in London?? We have incredible vegan pizza options all over the city, including Purezza (man alive!), Picky Wops (what a name), even all the big chains like Voodoo Ray’s and Pizza Union and Basilico have vegan options. There are dozens of veg-friendly pizza joints all over the city I haven’t even been to yet! There’s a tiny shop that just opened around the corner from me that has vegan cheese! It’s EVERYWHERE. I have no reason to get Papa John’s when there’s all this actually good vegan pizza all over the place.
BUT, even if these other options didn’t exist, I still wouldn’t. Sure, that’s because I make my own really excellent pizza (Imah half eye-tal I gotta that spicy meataball in my bloodah), but also because this guy John? He ain’t my papa. He sucks.
John Schnatter, former CEO and founder of Papa John’s, is a long-time republican which sure used to just mean white businessman but now means an active racist, sexist, homophobe, anti-Semite, anti-everything good pretty much little fucker. Don’t believe me? He donated to the Cheeto Mussolini campaign. He spoke out against Obama and the Affordable Care Act, and famously stated that if he was forced to pay for the ACA and give his employees healthcare, his pizza prices would go up a certain number of measly cents. (To which the sensible world responded, “you mean you could be giving your employees g-d health insurance if you just charged 8c more???!!” and rightly boycotted.)
Then, he was loudly on the wrong side of history during the NFL protest controversy. And while he did resign as CEO after his use of the n-word on that matter came to light, this is still the business he founded, and a company is built on the ethos of its founder. I would guess that his viewpoints and beliefs are reflected at all levels of management within this company. No founder, or CEO, or racist, exists in a vaccum. Also, John still retains a stake in the company, obviously, since he founded it, and he is worth more than ¾ of a BILLION dollars. So, like, fuck that.
Wayfair Furniture
Moving is the worst, decorating a new home can be frustrating, and finding affordable but still stylish furniture is a nightmare. That’s why online home giant Wayfair has become such a successful brand. But fuck them. Wayfair may have sold that adorable side table and pineapple lamp to your friend from work, but you know who else they sold furniture to? The detention facilities at the U.S. Mexico border. Wayfair is in a partnership with the monsters running these concentration camps, and for that reason, I cannot support them.
As you may have heard, Wayfair employees recently walked out on the job to protest the company’s sales of furniture to the border detention camps. The employees involved first wrote a letter asking that the company refrain from such sales. The CEO rejected this request, naturally, because the kind of person who aids concentration camps is not the kind of person who cares about what some of his employees have to say.
You might be thinking, well the migrant kids that the U.S. government doesn’t care if they kill have to sleep somewhere! And maybe, if the Wayfair corporate leadership had said that what’s happening is atrocious but their aim was to provide beds to make this horrible experience a little easier for the children, then that would be something else. Or maybe they could have sold the furniture and donated all the profits to charity! (LIKE SO OBVIOUS.) At least maybe some of them could be said to have good intentions. But do you know what statement the leadership team made? They said that they “believe in the importance of respecting diversity of thought within the organization and our customer base. No matter how strongly any one of us feels about an issue, it is important to keep in mind that not all employees or customers agree.” So they basically said, just because some of you easily replaceable employees don’t like that people are dying in concentration camps doesn’t mean we all do, so we have to respect the views of our fellow workers who LOVE the camps. I mean. And then of course they said as a retailer, their practice is to sell their goods to anyone operating within the laws of the USA. So you know, it doesn’t matter what’s right or wrong or just, it just matters that the people in charge of deciding what’s legal or not have determined that this particular atrocity, as with many they’ve created, is ‘legal’. Cool cool cool.
So obviously Wayfair is now on my list, as is anyone and everyone who supports the concentration camps. If you’re thinking ‘but maybe people shouldn’t immigrate illegally!!’ or ‘if they didn’t want their children taken from them and put in cages then they should have thought of that before’ or ‘but it’s a corporation that needs to make money and if they didn’t sell the beds someone else would have’ then please leave a comment with your contact info so I may persuade you to get psychiatric help and/or turn off Fox News. If you’re thinking, ‘darn, that sucks, but I can’t support them anymore either if they are supporting these ICE facilities’, then congratulations, you’re a decent person and you’ll be okay without their products. Also, as far as I know Ikea is still run by magical unicorn people who love us all.
Forever 21
I know, at this rate there will be no more fast-fashion brands who are destroying the earth with their cheap production methods and their overuse of resources left for us to shop at! Forever 21 was a last-minute entry to this post, as just a few days ago I learned about their sooooo-fun new trick of sending free Atkins diet bars inside online orders. At first, it appeared that only those who had ordered plus size clothes received the diet bars – which is so unbelievably evil and straight-up rude that it’s entirely believable for this bleak ass world right now. Fortunately (?), the bars were included in online orders across the board, not just in plus-size orders, so they weren’t being totally snide mean girls all like ‘you should rully try one of these barssss also thanks for giving us your moneyyyyy!’ I mean I’m sure they still were, but at least to everyone. (Do they just want all their customers to lose weight?)
But even if it wasn’t targeted harassment at plus-size customers (I feel it necessary to reiterate they were treating paying customers like this, for fork’s sake), it’s still absolute bullshirt to include diet bars that no one asked for inside otherwise unrelated and innocuous purchases. I’m sure they don’t care if a customer had an allergy to any of the ingredients. But I know for sure they don’t care if they are sending diet products to people with disordered eating histories or body insecurity – and given, um, statistics and facts, many of the women who received this ‘gift’ fall into those categories. Here, wear our clothes and also lose weight! What a great idea! It’s not just ill-considered and rude; it’s disrespectful. It assumes, as most of the world does, that weight loss is a universal goal, and an always-positive one. Obviously, the lads over at corporate didn’t think this through, or if they did, they really don’t care about women.
Also WHO is still partnering with forking Atkins? Is it 2003 again? Go fork yourself. Also your clothes are crap.
Cashless Businesses
A friend of mine recently said that he was on a mission to no longer support cashless businesses. Since London seems to be going all cashless lately and I am very aware of le crime, I was like but why? Isn’t it easier and safer and faster and just funner? (I didn’t say that.) Going cashless may help businesses thwart off potential robbers, I guess, but a) that’s not actually an enormous problem to begin with and b) the real result is turning away a significant portion of the community. Cashless businesses disenfranchise part of our population that is already incredibly vulnerable: homeless people, migrants, poor people in general who are unbanked. Not everyone has a bank account! Not everyone has access to a contactless card that makes you feel like you aren’t even spending any money because you just have to lightly tap it against the payment screen and then you’re done and it’s like whaaat was this all free? IT WASN’T. YOU’RE PRIVILEGED. As so many of our cities gentrify at alarming rates, these businesses are basically defining the clientele they want, and it doesn’t include everyone. And that’s bullshirt.
Now that I know it’s bullshirt, I’ve been doing my best to avoid patronizing businesses that don’t accept cash. It’s a tiny little action, and it probably doesn’t do anything, but aren’t most of these little protests just acts of solidarity anyway? With London being on the fast track to complete cashlessness, it’s been difficult. Just last week, Husbo and I had lunch in Canary Wharf, as we frequently do because of work, and when we went to pay, I noticed it was card only. SHIIIIIT, I said to Husbo. It’s cashless! I’m supposed to be boycotting these places! But then Husbo pointed out that we were literally in Canary Wharf – an entire little city built by banks, for banks. Of course this was a cashless place; the entire place – filled with endless underground malls – exists for bankers. Trying to support the unbanked sector of the community in Canary Wharf is literally nonsense.
But that kind of brings me to the point of all of this: you have to do what makes sense, for you and for the message you’re trying to send. This extends to veganism in general too: Sure we’d all love everyone to be vegan, but not everyone is able to, so let’s all do the best we can, and act within reason. That’s kind of the purpose of this series, after all.
If you missed the first in this series, you can find it at this link. I managed to ruin food, clothing, and musical theatre in one post!
