Veganizing "Friends": Tartlets?...Tartlets?...Tartlets?...The Word Has Lost All Meaningby Randi / December 30, 2013
Tonight is one of the greatest holidays of the year! Yes, that’s right, it’s time for the Golden Globes, the most meaningless but most hilariously fun awards show there is. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, queens of the modern era and of my heart, are the hosts again this year, after their stellar turn last year when they made the best joke ever about James Cameron. So yeah, with the two of them entertaining us again, the show is sure to be worth watching. But yes, these are the most meaningless awards out there. I think even the People’s Choice mean more. That’s because the Hollywood Foreign Press is famous for nominating and voting for famous people they want to come to their show and go onstage, regardless of desert. And we have the infamous ‘Musical or Comedy’ movie category, which means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Some of the ‘hilarious’ movies qualifying as comedies this year include the traumatic family drama ‘August: Osage County’ and the depressing-as-shit ‘Nebraska’, along with the tragically serious ‘Inside Llewyn Davis’. See, the movie studios decide what categories they will submit in, so if there’s an abundance of quality dramas that year, cunning/lying studio execs will decide their tearjerking poverty-stricken story is quite funny. Liars, the lot of them. Anyway, so that’s why this shit means shit, but it’s still going to be amazingly fun. Here are my predictions.
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BEST MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
Saw it twice. It’s epic and amazing and as tough to watch as it should be. Please win the Oscar too. BEST ACTOR – DRAMA
All of these men were great, and this could very well be the Oscar list as well. But Chiwetel gives the performance of a lifetime and deserves to win. BEST ACTRESS – DRAMA
Another category that I hope is the Oscar list. All of these women give incredible performances, especially Emma Thompson, but Cate Blanchett’s stunning, haunting work will be hard to beat. BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
If Lawrence wins, I will be so angry. SO ANGRY. Nyong’o was amazing. Also, I wish Scarlett Johansson was nominated for ‘Her’. What a remarkable voice-only performance. BEST DIRECTOR
Russell could win because of the aforementioned conning of the voter pool, but I am rooting for McQueen to triumph for his triumph. BEST ANIMATED FILM
FROZEN BEST MOVIE EVERRRRR! |
BEST PICTURE – FAKE COMEDY
I am begrudgingly saying ‘American Hustle’ because I believe it will win, because for some reason people think it’s the best movie of the year. I don’t even think it’s the 4th best of these 5, but whatever. If I were voting, I would vote for ‘Her’, one of my favorites of this year. It’s incredibly creative and moving. But yeah, ‘American Hustle’ has conned enough voters into thinking it was a good movie that it will win. BEST ACTOR – COMEDY
If I were voting, I’d be voting for Joaquin for his beautifully touching performance. But the HFP loves Leo so much, and they love ‘Wolf’ for being so cool and vulgar (said like Miley Cyrus), so I think he’ll be winning tonight. BEST ACTRESS – COMEDY
Oh my god Greta is nominated!!!! ‘Frances Ha’ was one of my favorite movies not of the year but OF ALL TIME. OF ALL TIIIIME, KANYE! I’m so happy she’s nominated. But she won’t win. Adams could, but I’m going with Meryl because she’s amazing as always and she famously lost last year to Lawrence (famous because of Lawrence’s “I beat Meryl” acceptance speech). BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
I’m hoping so much for Leto. He was so heartbreaking and beautiful in ‘DBC’ and really deserves it, though Fassbender and Abdi would be solid winners too. |
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BEST TELEVISION DRAMA
This better not even be a question. I like when shows are honored for their final season. As long as they are fantastic shows and stellar final seasons, which is true here. BEST ACTRESS TV DRAMA
I would be so happy if Kerry or Tatiana won, but I think ‘Scandal’ has more traction with voters. Probably because IT’S THE BEST SHOW EVER. BEST ACTOR TV DRAMA
Not even a questions. Final season, genre-changing show, done. Although I’d be happy for Liev because I think we are related. |
BEST TELEVISION COMEDY
If Big Bang or Modern Family wins AGAIN, I will cry, because Parks & Rec is the greatest comedy on tv and has been for a while now. It better win, and with Amy hosting, it has a better chance now. BEST ACTRESS TV COMEDY
I’m going with Amy because hosts get a little push in voting, but I’d be just as pleased if the Veep one. So amazing, both of them. BEST ACTOR TV COMEDY
I mean really, Samberg? Nice for him but so silly, these nominations, all of them almost. I don’t even watch ‘House of Lies’ but I am feeling this one. Just as long as it’s not Parsons again right? |
What do you think? What are you rooting for? If this happened already, what was your favorite part? Do you get as angry as I get about the ridiculous things they call ‘comedies’? Did you think ‘American Hustle’ was really the best movie of the year? Did you throw up during ‘Gravity’ like people did in the Gravitron? Enjoy!!!!
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“Big Fish” on Broadway: So Much Promise, Not Enough Spark
With the 2003 film “Big Fish” (starring my love Ewan McGregor) being one of my favorites, I was itching to see the new Broadway musical ASAP. So SAP, in fact, that I saw it in previews. Now, it is the unwritten rule of Broadway that you don’t review previews. However, unless you want to buy me another ticket to see the show post-opening, keep your mouth shut.
“Big Fish” tells the story of a man named Edward Bloom (the great Norbert Leo Butz), who has larger-than-life, unbelievable stories that he loves sharing with his son. However, his son thinks that all his dad’s crazy stories are lies and resents that they form the basis of his parenting. As in the movie, action in the present day frequently flashes back to the origins of Edward’s stories. We see him when he’s a teenager (still Butz!) as he meets a witch who tells him how he’s going to die. We see him befriend a giant (Ryan Andes) and help him become a judge. We see him save his hometown from a flood and become a hero. He’s kissed by a mermaid, beaten by a bully, manipulated by a circus manager, and more. And we see him at present day, as an old man (still Butz!) on his deathbed, still standing by his elaborate tales as his married son begs him for the truth.
Norbert Leo Butz
Norbert Leo Butz was a huge reason I wanted to see the show so badly. I will see (and have seen) Norbert in anything and everything he does, as he is undoubtedly the greatest living musical comedy actor. I’m happy to report that Norbs is in fine form in “Big Fish” and giving one of the great performances of his impressive career. Before we go on, know that the show is worth seeing for him.
But go on we must. I enjoyed the show a good deal, especially for an early preview. but, throughout the evening, I had a nagging sensation that something was wrong. The cast? Mostly solid, with great turns by Butz and Kate Baldwin. The book? A decent adaptation, with some slow sections but overall good storytelling. And despite most other critics’ opinions, the heavily digitized set didn’t bother me (I was probably too far back to be bothered to much by it. I could hear the sound of rocks skipping in the digital creek downstage, but couldn’t see it). I realized what was left – the score. Aside from the lovely “Daffodils” and the wonderful, spot-on “Fight the Dragons”, the score was the problem, uncharacteristically weak and unmemorable from Andrew Lippa, who gave us “The Wild Party”. It really feels like something is missing, because the most important part of a musical is the score! Without consistent, kick-ass music, “Big Fish” lacks the booming heart-racing fun that it should be providing with this amazing source material.
Furthermore, the directing decisions seem off. This should be Edward’s story (stories!), but it feels rushed and impersonal sometimes, preventing the audience from connecting with Edward and being on his side as much as we should. This could be due to the lack of exciting and well-executed ensemble numbers, but it’s due to the direction as well. What I saw was not a cohesive, tight production. Hopefully by opening it was, but that would require the types of changes not normally made during previews.
Kate Baldwin is stellar as Edward’s headstrong sweetheart from their teenage years up until his dying day, always his biggest supporter and believer. Bobby Steggert does what he can with an underdeveloped role as Edward’s grown son, Will. I blame the book for this one, because Billy Crudup in the movie version had the same problems. My favorite surprise was newcomer Ryan Andes as the good-natured Giant, with great stage presence and command of his role. I look forward to what he does next. Norbert does his very best to sell the crap out of what he’s working with. It’s always a privilege to see him onstage, and his performance here is extraordinary, even if he’s forced to work much harder than he should be. No other performer could do with this role what Norbert does, or elevate the material as much as he does. Lots of the flaws seem to disappear because of him, and as a result I really did enjoy this show. I can recommend seeing this show because of a handful of wonderful moments, but mostly because of him.
But go on we must. I enjoyed the show a good deal, especially for an early preview. but, throughout the evening, I had a nagging sensation that something was wrong. The cast? Mostly solid, with great turns by Butz and Kate Baldwin. The book? A decent adaptation, with some slow sections but overall good storytelling. And despite most other critics’ opinions, the heavily digitized set didn’t bother me (I was probably too far back to be bothered to much by it. I could hear the sound of rocks skipping in the digital creek downstage, but couldn’t see it). I realized what was left – the score. Aside from the lovely “Daffodils” and the wonderful, spot-on “Fight the Dragons”, the score was the problem, uncharacteristically weak and unmemorable from Andrew Lippa, who gave us “The Wild Party”. It really feels like something is missing, because the most important part of a musical is the score! Without consistent, kick-ass music, “Big Fish” lacks the booming heart-racing fun that it should be providing with this amazing source material.
Furthermore, the directing decisions seem off. This should be Edward’s story (stories!), but it feels rushed and impersonal sometimes, preventing the audience from connecting with Edward and being on his side as much as we should. This could be due to the lack of exciting and well-executed ensemble numbers, but it’s due to the direction as well. What I saw was not a cohesive, tight production. Hopefully by opening it was, but that would require the types of changes not normally made during previews.
Kate Baldwin is stellar as Edward’s headstrong sweetheart from their teenage years up until his dying day, always his biggest supporter and believer. Bobby Steggert does what he can with an underdeveloped role as Edward’s grown son, Will. I blame the book for this one, because Billy Crudup in the movie version had the same problems. My favorite surprise was newcomer Ryan Andes as the good-natured Giant, with great stage presence and command of his role. I look forward to what he does next. Norbert does his very best to sell the crap out of what he’s working with. It’s always a privilege to see him onstage, and his performance here is extraordinary, even if he’s forced to work much harder than he should be. No other performer could do with this role what Norbert does, or elevate the material as much as he does. Lots of the flaws seem to disappear because of him, and as a result I really did enjoy this show. I can recommend seeing this show because of a handful of wonderful moments, but mostly because of him.
Gary: A Sequel to Titus Andronicus is as Wacky and Gory as You’d Expect
It’s Theatre Thursday! Today’s show is Gary: A Sequel to Titus Andronicus, playing at Broadway’s Booth Theatre.
If you’re familiar with artist and playwright Taylor Mac, you’d know before going into one of his shows that it’ll be unique, to say the least. But you don’t even need to know Mac’s provocative past works (like his A 24-Decade History of Popular Music) to know that something billing itself as a sequel to Shakespeare’s most violent, disgustingly gory play, Titus Andronicus, will be eeeeenteresting. And gory. And weird af. And it is!
But Gary: A Sequel to Titus Andronicus, starring the great Nathan Lane, is more than just fart jokes and blood (although there’s a lot of scatological humor, which is the fancy way of saying you see a lot of actual, um, emptying of intestines. Of corpses). As you’d expect from Mac, Gary also manages to say some noble things about class, injustice, and modern society. It’s just simultaneously squirting blood out of stabbed necks and accidentally ingesting corpse feces.
As you may know, Titus Andronicus (not to be confused with the superior Titus – Andromedon) is a revenge tragedy, in which the bloodthirsty Roman general kills the Queen of the Goths’ son for killing all his sons (not to be confused with All My Sons) and then the Goth Queen has her other sons rape Titus’s daughter AND CUT OFF HER HANDS, so then Titus kills those sons and bakes them into a pie and serves it to the Goth Queen…and this isn’t even all of it. It’s beyond gory and disturbing, and there’s a huuuge body count by the end. You really only need to know this last bit going into Gary, in which Mac asks the question, at the end of this epic, insane massacre, who cleans it all up?
And his answer, for our amusement, is Gary. In Titus, there’s an unnamed clown who is sent off to be hanged. Mac has saved him from the hanging and called him Gary, played by the great Nathan Lane as no one else could play this character. By volunteering for cleanup, Gary escapes death and gets a promotion, what a big day for him, to maid. With the help of the equally-anachronistically-named maid Janice (Kristine Nielsen), the two of them attempt to sort through the massive pile of corpses, emptying their intestines of all gases and substances for reasons unconvincing for the work required, honestly. While they work, they wax philosophically – in iambic pentameter most of the time – about privilege, class, and politics. And feces.
They also meet Carol (Julie White), the former midwife bleeding out various wounds in her neck, who is dealing with the turmoil and guilt of not having done enough to save her former charge, which all sounds quite depressing but like I said, she’s bleeding out her neck and she’s Julie White, so it’s rather hilarious. One of the most remarkable details of this play is that Julie White, cast so perfectly, wasn’t supposed to be in it: absolute ledge Andrea Martin was originally playing Janice, and Kristine Nielsen was Carol. But Martin was injured days before previews began and had to leave the show, bumping Nielsen up to the lead role of Janice and bringing White in as a last minute addition. For this extreme change, everyone involved deserves kudos for making it work.
Although all three actors (mostly the women) try too hard too often to milk all the obvious humor from their characters, to the point where sometimes they go too far and it becomes unfunny, they succeed often enough to make it an amusing, enjoyable show, even though because it is so insane I have no idea whether I actually recommend it, or who exactly I would recommend it to.
Some of the philosophical statements the comic trio share are striking and powerful, especially when they are relevant to the current political crises (and especially when they are in rhyming couplets, I mean damn). The setup overall, with the help left with the responsibility of cleaning up the mess of the rich and powerful, already says a lot about power structures and who pays the greatest price. But amid Gary’s attempt to create a new genre, a ‘fooling’, to better express his political views, and amid Janice’s continued efforts to drain all the corpses, the play somewhat loses its focus. While trying to provide political commentary and outright humor, it somehow manages to deny a little too much of both.
INFORMATION
Gary is playing at the Booth Theatre until August 4.
