Epic Holiday Gift Guide: Gifts Other People Will Actually Wantby Randi / December 14, 2013
The Saga of the Massive Hubbard Squash is just about over! We have (had, I mean this was like 3 weeks ago) just about 2 cups of baked squash cubes left, enough for one last hurrah, after we made delicious bean stew and great squash muffins. I am almost sad to say goodbye to this monster. #StockholmSyndrome.
I was craving cinnamon rolls, and I didn’t have the motivation to make anything else, so into the buns they went! Are they rolls or buns? Someone please tell me. Anyway, I used to be scared of baking with yeast because ew it’s alive and it makes things grow and we’re vegans and shouldn’t be eating things that grow as you make it…but then I remembered that my love of playing with my food outweighs my fear of weird things, so I gave it a try, loved it, and now I’m like the yeastmaster. Worst name ever. But these rollbuns are fantastic! Let’s learn how to make them!
I was craving cinnamon rolls, and I didn’t have the motivation to make anything else, so into the buns they went! Are they rolls or buns? Someone please tell me. Anyway, I used to be scared of baking with yeast because ew it’s alive and it makes things grow and we’re vegans and shouldn’t be eating things that grow as you make it…but then I remembered that my love of playing with my food outweighs my fear of weird things, so I gave it a try, loved it, and now I’m like the yeastmaster. Worst name ever. But these rollbuns are fantastic! Let’s learn how to make them!
These are very much like pumpkin rolls, so if you don’t have a monster squash around, you can substitute pumpkin or other wintry squash. The squash provides moisture in the bread and lovely, comforting flavor in the filling.
CAUTION.
NB that using the Hubbard Squash somehow breaks the laws of nature, because the normal amount of flour that should have sufficed ended up being nowhere near enough. After mixing the liquid ingredients together, I added the flour, la di da, things are fine, but then the mixture was still way too wet, no matter how much extra flour I added. It was the Squash Monster! It kept absorbing flour like it was me drinking water and it wouldn’t stop and everything got dark and fuzzy and I ran out of flour and had to make oat flour but the Squash Monster (Squashster?) just wouldn’t be satisfied until it had destroyed ALL OF THE POSSIBLE FLOURS I had in my house. I even had to throw in some quinoa flour just to mess with its head. Finally, with both of us exhausted but only me still hungry, Squashster dried up a little, enough for me to actually roll out the dough, which was yet another hurdle to overcome considering I had no flour left to flour the rolling surface. Man alive. All of this is just to warn you that this could happen, so buy extra flour. The rolls were fantastic, so don’t be skeered. Also, I’m sure it was just me.
HUBBARD SQUASH & PUMPKIN
CINNAMON ROLL BUNS
CINNAMON ROLL BUNS
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INGREDIENTS:
For the buns:
For the filling:
DIRECTIONS:
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 Yay boy the yeast is jumping! It’s really jumping! Come in, cats, and check your hats, I mean this yeast is jumping!  HAHA SQUASH I HAVE DESTROYED YOU!!!  Punchy punch!  ROLLING rolling ROLLING rolling ROLLING OUT MY DOUGHHHH  Roll from the rolling pin side down  Dental floss prevents gum disease AND slices your cinnamon buns without hurting them!  Unbaked, goopy with congealing butter. Mmmm. Do that. |
THESE ARE SO GOOD YOU HAVE TO MAKE THESE! I brought them to work and people loved them. I bring goodies to work somewhat frequently, and usually only the people I run into give me comments. With these, however, people actually sought me out to tell me how good they were. So, you know, you gotta make them. Enjoy!
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Shoobie Doobie Down to Dubai Where the Food is Great
Dubai was never very high on my to-do list, even though I’ve heard nothing but good reports from others. It just seemed a little plastic, a little bland, a little cultureless (and a lot problematic politically). But there’s much more to it than just being the enormous luxury mall capital of the world, and while I wouldn’t advocate choosing Dubai for a super long holiday over more interesting locations, it’s the perfect spot for a layover or, in our case, before a venture deeper into the Middle East. There’s plenty to keep you busy for a few days even if you aren’t rolling in oil money. Normal people live there too! And while I’m eager to share all the museums and cultural gems we discovered during our time in Dubai, today we’re discussing the vegan food and lodging because that’s what I am and that’s what I care about. And I’m going to save the best part for last so get your reading pants on!
Once we landed and showered (hooray for the room being ready for once!), we were ready to find what would be a favorite Dubai restaurant: Zaroob. I received several recommendations for this classic Middle Eastern place, including from my brother who according to the Snapchat gender-flipping filter is just me with shorter hair so of course I was going to love it. Considering my affection for hummus and bread for that hummus, Zaroob delivered. It was an easygoing place with a great menu of all my classics: hummus, bread, chickpeas, salads, other types of bread, other types of salads. I could literally eat that every day. And I do!
I assume that’s the Arabic on the first line but it looks like it says ugly and Zaroob is not ugly it’s beeyootiful
From the English menu (everything in Dubai is in English), we ordered the hummus with a Lebanese twist, the twist being I guess that it was topped with chickpeas and olive oil; I guess the Lebanese like cute lil nods to deconstructed hummus. We also got a fattoush, which came in three parts – the regular vinegary green salad, the dish of pita chips, and the plate of mixed herbs so that was fun. Our requisite foul (fava beans but like amazing) came in a large silver pitcher which I found hilarious (and hard to photograph).
We also got an order of za’atar manoushe, which is like a flatbread pie with amazing spices inside. We first went crazy for this dish in Jordan and we pretty much get it at every Middle Eastern restaurant every time.
I love this place. It’s casual, inexpensive, and delicious. Their menu said that they were coming to London soon but I guess we have different definitions of soon.
After a day of exploring the labyrinthine malls and city center (next post!), we had dinner at the vegan-friendly yoga studio & cafe (my favorite kind of place, honestly, I’m so crunchy) Life’n One (the accurate typography, I checked; it’s a contraction of Lifern I guess). The restaurant was outside in a gorgeous setting, dark but gorgeous, full of mosquitoes because of said darkness but gorgeous.
There are a few wooden tables out back (with spiders, hooray) and lots of carpets with cushions to lounge upon which isn’t the mooost fun when you are eating but it looks so nice.
As is my wont, I ordered the Superfood Salad, but this was the wrong order at such a me-centric joint. It was mostly kale, which yeah I love, but there wasn’t enough of anything else. It was supposed to be “hand-chopped kale” which I guess means “huge pieces I have to rip apart with my hands” with Mexican avocado, oven-roasted potatoes in tahini, pea shoots, pumpkin seeds, goji berries, and acai dressing. It was pretty much those big kale pieces and REALLY big potatoes. I should have tried the other salad which is I shit you not called ‘The Salad I Was Looking For’ (why didn’t I listen to it?) because it’s topped with ashwagandha and you know I love any bullshit about healing mushroom powders.
Z always orders right, and he got the Unbeatable Vurger, one of their classics. (Other classics included chickpea flour scrambles and omelettes and something incredible called Jungle on Toast so I really ordered wrong.) The Vurger is an oyster mushroom patty with faux Gruyere cheese (I feel like this was just a slab of tofu but who’s complaining), melted cheddar cheese, mushrooms, mixed greens, pickles, and sprouts. It was gooood!
But the best part is not pictured because I got it to go and it was hot in Dubai and it melted but it didn’t matter because it was incredible and delicious and messy and amazing. The Snickers pie. If you go, you get it. It’s everything you’re imagining it to be, but better and chocolaty-er (if I said chocolatier you’d think I was talking about a person so here we are) and messier.
Next up to bat is my favorite place in Dubai. Okay I say that a lot but I have a lot of favorites, it’s allowed. But the Arabian Tea House, an oasis in the middle of a long day of sightseeing, is legit my favorite of all. It has that classic Middle Eastern menu of all my faves but, like the best Tony Awards opening number of all time that I must admit will never be topped even though I’m a little meh on Neil Patrick Harris right now, BIGGER. The Tea House also has the loveliest setting, oh man, bright and airy (it is outside) in a cute but packed (popular for a reason) courtyard. And the food is wonderful.
Why is this wonderful place my top restaurant for Dubai? Well sure they had delicious watermelon juice, and great hummus, and amazing hot tanoor (their word, I don’t know it but I’ll use it) breads that they kept bringing me because I can demolish hot bread, but they also had a menu section called Emirati Salads so I stood no chance.
Obviously I got one, the Arabian Tea House Special Salad (this time I listened to what the menu was telling me; always listen when people/salads tell you who they are). It was a big ass bowl of sorrel, tomato, basil, coriander (European for cilantro), onion, pomegranate seeds, “baby rockets” as the menu said (they meant rocket/arugula obvs but the extra ‘s’ may have been the final push to order it), olive oil and lemon juice, served with even more fresh tanoor bread. THANKS.
As usual, we over-ordered and yet finished everything because it was fantastic. We got SUCH GOOD HUMMUS, like memories of Tel Aviv amazing hummus. We got the aforementioned watermelon juice that came with a big ole hunk of watermelon, please and thank you. We got a dish of navy beans ‘in a sauce’ that turned out to be tomato-y and thus it was like literally a dish of baked beans and we found that hilarious but it was good so who cares, especially when it required moar bread.
Okay in hindsight I guess we didn’t grossly over-order but I remember being grossly full, probably because we had like 11 bread refills. I LOVE THIS PLACE.
We have one more restaurant to talk about before we get to my favorite non-hummus topics (beds and swimming). One night, before we went to the top of the Burj Khalifa (like I said next post!), we ate dinner on the water at Souk Al Bahar (across the bridge from the big mall) at a restaurant called Baker & Spice. This restaurant has a surprisingly good vegan pasta option, and while I usually never order pasta out (I-ah come-ah from the eye-tals I-ah make-ah it good!), I’m glad I got this. It was vegan beetroot bucatini with Madras chickpea curry, lemon, and coconut. Interesting mix but it worked! We also shared a nice lentil soup.
We sat outside on the patio so we could see the fountains, and we had to move a few times because of gross ass smokers, but it was worth it because that night was the special 10th anniversary show for the Burj Khalifa. Every 20 or 30 minutes, there was a fantastic fountain show by the designers of the Bellagio fountains. It was so fun!
All in all I had pretty great vegan food in Dubai. There’s one more meal to share, but that will come in the travel post because it was in the middle of nowhere in another Emirate – we toured all 7 in a day! Have you been to the Arabian Tea House? Did you get mosquitoed at Lifern One? Do you know when Zaroob is coming to London? Comment away!
LODGING
When we first arrived in Dubai, cranky and tired and pushing through the jet-lag jello barrier, our room at the Four Seasons Hotel was like a miracle. We stayed at the DIFC (Dubai International Financial Centre, like the Wall Street/Canary Wharf area) location because we could use corporate rates which worked out awesome because big announcement: THE FOUR SEASONS DIFC HOTEL BED IS IN MY TOP 5 BEDS OF ALL TIME! OF ALL TIME! It was PERFECT. Those pillows. Those pillows were the best pillows I’ve ever encountered. I dream about those pillows while sleeping on inferior pillows. (Not that I sleep anymore since my jet lag from this week’s long-haul is the worst it’s ever been for some reason but that’s not a complaint for you, that’s a complaint FOR THE GODS.)
The service was really nice too, and every day (or sometimes twice!) they’d bring us little treat gifts, like a box of fancy dates or a fruit plate. Housekeeping also always lined up my toiletries in straight army lines which I found hilarious.
Despite being in the quieter financial centre, it wasn’t a bad location. Sure you could choose to be closer to the lights and crowds by the malls and the Burj Khalifa but in the DIFC, we were closer to Zaroob, so, priorities. It wasn’t hard to get anywhere either. And the best part of staying here, the part I told you at the start was coming, was that the Four Seasons DIFC gave their guests access to their much fancier, much more expensive, much just all around INCREDIBLER resort branch uptown (or downtown, I didn’t get a sense of Dubai’s layout, sue me, but it feels right to say ‘uptown’ you get it because suuupes fancy like movin’ on up mooovin’ on up &c.). The Four Seasons Dubai Beachfront Resort at Jumeirah Beach was, to put it simply, my good place, so amazing I bolded it for no real reason except that maybe making it bold will bring it closer to me again. I might cry remembering all the amenities. There’s nothing Tom Haverford and I have more in common than our love for amenities.
The resort was like a grand palace, and they pointed us to the spa changing rooms which give access to the pool and the beach, which is just beyond the pool, which is my favorite kind of beach. I have fun on beaches but omg, a swimming pool is my JAM. So having both right next to each other is perfection. There were actually two big pools, separated by a gate. One was for families/kids and had an afternoon sing-along session – which is the first time we ever heard “Baby Shark” and it hasn’t left my head since.
The pool workers came around with free green juice at one point, and constantly came around with waters. I mean. Was this real? I actually am unsure.
So what about those T-Hizzle amenities? Well, that spa changing room I mentioned was connected to the spa, and we were allowed to go nuts, and go nuts I did. The Four Seasons Resort has the MOST BALLER SPA I have EVER seen IN MY LIFE. There was a jacuzzi, steam rooms, sauna rooms, tropical rain shower sections, weird different-types-of-breezes-in-a-cubicle sections, fully stocked lockers (thanks for that weird underwear you’re supposed to wear for spa treatments you’re damn right I took it for some reason), a lovely snack table with apples and fresh juices and dates and water and oranges and pretty much just everything you’d want. There was a magic BATHING SUIT DRYER. You put your wet swimsuit in and push a button and there’s a weird sound and literally five seconds later your suit is dry! IT’S A MAGIC LAND.
It was THE BEST! Since the spas are off each changing room, Z and I were separated (yes, there are TWO of these tricked out spas) but it was still so much fun. We both tried literally every part, every steam and sauna and weird shower and jacuzzi, after a day of swimming in the pool and the ocean and then the pool and then the other pool. It was the best day. I like being in water at all times. The changing rooms also had wonderful showers that we used after all the swimming, fully stocked with fancy hair and body products, plus all the toiletries you could imagine.
The best part is, we got all of this for being guests of the DIFC, not paying the resort prices. If you can swing it, you should stay here, as it’s the BEST, but staying at the cheaper DIFC location (with the best beds)(I mean I’m sure the resort has equally incred beds, maybe even nicer, but I can’t report on that) and crashing the resort party was definitely the right move for us!
So that’s it for the soft parts of Dubai (food and hotels are soft; touring and museums and stuff are hard). Stay tuned for the big travel post! Here’s another face hole to tide you over. You know how much we love face holes.
(Re: the title of this post, since Z didn’t know WHAT I was getting at: Did some of you not grow up with a Ruby’s Diner and thus its earworm of a jingle? If not, this is referencing said jingle.)
That Time I Finally Went to Vegan Treats (Mecca)
After a very busy weekend as a bridesmaid in my best friend’s insanely fun wedding, and after being awake and hyperactive for most of the past three days, I wrapped up my bridal party duties and hopped in a car to Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. In that little town of Bethlehem, we raise our glass – you bet your ass – toooooo VEEEEEGAAAAAN TREEEEEAAAATS! La Vegan Treats!
Ok, anyway, I’ve been wanting to go to this very best, most famous vegan bakery for years. However, I could buy a lot of VT’s products at restaurants and cafes in Philly and NYC, so I just didn’t deem the trip urgent. I should have. Going to Vegan Treats in person is of course much more exciting, but also you get fresher baked goods, a wider selection, and, most importantly, soft-serve! Special thanks to my friend Elli for finally taking me!
Ok, anyway, I’ve been wanting to go to this very best, most famous vegan bakery for years. However, I could buy a lot of VT’s products at restaurants and cafes in Philly and NYC, so I just didn’t deem the trip urgent. I should have. Going to Vegan Treats in person is of course much more exciting, but also you get fresher baked goods, a wider selection, and, most importantly, soft-serve! Special thanks to my friend Elli for finally taking me!
Pumpkin & vanilla soft-serve
Those of you who know me know that soft-serve is one of my top five foods. It goes kale, chickpeas, quinoa, peanut butter, soft-serve. It’s the best thing ever, and I will go anywhere for it. House-made soft-serve at Vegan Treats is just another reason why making the trip to the storefront is so worth it. Today’s flavors were pumpkin and vanilla custard. Of course, I got the two flavors swirled, and it was insane. The pumpkin was very subtle, thankfully not overspiced or overcinnamoned as so many pumpkin goods often are. Somehow, the ice cream did not melt as fast as other ice creams would have on this warm sunny day, and the texture remained incredibly thick. I don’t know how they do it, but they concocted a crazy amazing texture. So delicious!
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Elli and I also pretty much bought out the bakery case. How beautiful is this! That whole third row is filled with gluten-free goodies, which is cool, but they cost more, which kind of sucks. We spent obscene amounts of money, but everything freezes well, so it’s like an investment!
The best Vegan Treats creation is the famous chocolate peanut butter bomb, which you can see in mini form on the top far right. I think mini form might actually be preferable to the full size, because the ratio of peanut butter cream to cake is much higher (i.e., there’s more cream). I don’t know how they make that, but it’s mind-blowingly perfect, light and the right amounts of salty and sweet. At right, you can see the daily specials, which of course we bought and of course were delicious beyond belief. On the left are donut sandwiches filled with Bavarian cream. Man alive these were good. Somehow, the cream was light and thick and left absolutely no aftertaste, as so many vegan creams do. The donut a little sturdier than their other ones, in order to hold all of that cream. So good. On the right are cinnamony-sugary-appley? donut pretzels. Of course these were great, come on. I love soft pretzels so much, and I could get used to one in donut form.  Donut pretzel with crackly sugar coating |
 The most beautiful thing! Except for the car reflection  Wow  You can see where all the magic happens in the back  |
There’s also a selection of cookies, candies, cupcakes, whoopie pies, and more. It’s overwhelming but amazing. I really bought way too much. Let’s check out my haul!
Clockwise from top left: S’more cheesecake, donut sandwich with Bavarian cream, peanut butter bomb, Boston cream pie donut
Clockwise from top left: carrot cake, another peanut butter bomb, vanilla cake with peanut butter, vanilla, and chocolate parts, and a brownie with chocolate peanut butter icing. I love peanut butter. You can see where my mom already dug in the second she saw this box, before I could take a picture! Most of this is now frozen. Make sure I don’t forget about it, please!
The cannolis are also splendid
Do you believe how much I got! And I was trying to limit myself. Everything is too delicious for words. Most of this haul is safely frozen now, as everything freezes and thaws very well. Of course, I did eat a lot of it, and of course after days without rest I feel prettayyy prettayyy horrible right now. But it’s worth it! I can’t wait to go back when they have the rumored salted caramel soft-serve. If you are ever in eastern PA with a car and time on your hands, definitely make the pilgrimage to the wondrous Vegan Treats!
