"Big Fish" on Broadway: So Much Promise, Not Enough Sparkby Randi / October 24, 2013 Welcome to the first installment in my “Challenge Accepted” series, inspired by Barney on “How I Met Your Mother” but having literally nothing to do with the show! Today’s post answers the request of my friend Sari, who asked for a way to make amazing Rice Krispie-like treats without marshmallows. You could sub a vegan marshmallow, such as Dandies or Sweet N’ Sara, into the standard recipe, but a) that gets freal expensive b) that’s not very exciting! So, a treaty crisped rice treat using other ingredients??
Stirring shit into melted chocolate, as I do
One of my favorite things to do, as faithful readers might have realized, is to melt chocolate with a nut butter or Speculoos (or both) and stir shit into it. It’s a foolproof, always delicious, and extremely versatile method of cookery. So, it makes perfect sense to use this as the basis for this creation!
When making Rice Krispie treats, the important thing is to make some kind of glue to hold the cereal together. Melted marshmallows do this very well, we know. But do you know what else can make a great gluey substance? Nut butters melted with liquid sweetener. Once you get this basic aspect down, you can play with it in all kinds of ways depending on what you’re in the mood for, or even just what you have on hand. No brown rice syrup? Agave or maple syrup will work! No cashew butter? Peanut butter, Speculoos, almond butter, hazelnut butter…you pretty much can’t go wrong with substitutes. In fact, I would have gone with cashew butter when making these, but I’m all out, hence today’s treats are peanut buttery. I also decided to make them chocolatey, because when you have the option of chocotizing something, you take it.
This recipe is a rough guide of what I did today, rough because you can really do whatever you want in terms of ingredients and amounts and it’ll probably be delicious. I used a mix of all 3 types of sweeteners, but it will work with just one (though all agave might be too sweet). I was also just using peanut butter, but then halfway through I smacked my head and said “What are you doing!” and added some Speculoos. Because duh.
When making Rice Krispie treats, the important thing is to make some kind of glue to hold the cereal together. Melted marshmallows do this very well, we know. But do you know what else can make a great gluey substance? Nut butters melted with liquid sweetener. Once you get this basic aspect down, you can play with it in all kinds of ways depending on what you’re in the mood for, or even just what you have on hand. No brown rice syrup? Agave or maple syrup will work! No cashew butter? Peanut butter, Speculoos, almond butter, hazelnut butter…you pretty much can’t go wrong with substitutes. In fact, I would have gone with cashew butter when making these, but I’m all out, hence today’s treats are peanut buttery. I also decided to make them chocolatey, because when you have the option of chocotizing something, you take it.
This recipe is a rough guide of what I did today, rough because you can really do whatever you want in terms of ingredients and amounts and it’ll probably be delicious. I used a mix of all 3 types of sweeteners, but it will work with just one (though all agave might be too sweet). I was also just using peanut butter, but then halfway through I smacked my head and said “What are you doing!” and added some Speculoos. Because duh.
Our ingredients
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MARSHMALLOW-LESS RICE KRISPIE TREATS
Ingredients:
Directions:
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 See the sugar stream? Fun!  Mix the cereal into the gooeyness |
Still warm; I am a child
If you want a more traditional treat, forego the chocolate and swap cashew butter for the peanut butter, and you’ll have a milder base flavor that is more akin to what you are used it. Next time I have cashew butter on hand, I’ll make it that way. But using peanut butter and chocolate is never a wrong move. I hope you enjoy it no matter what combination of ingredients you use. And now we all can see that marshmallow-less can mean delicious, and not just, sadly, ‘without Marshall “Marshmallow” Errickson’, as I am. Thanks Sari!
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Brighton, UK: The Great Moshimo Vegan Challenge More Challenged Than Great
Every year for the past countable number of years (four?), the wonderful sushi restaurant Moshimo in Brighton has held a special all-vegan dinner event in which chefs from other restaurants present their spin on vegan sushi. It’s called the Great Moshimo Vegan Challenge. And boy, was this year a challenge or what.
It’s a contest, and the diners vote for the winner. Jojo at vegan.in.brighton invited me to join her this year, and considering how envious I have been in past years, I was all for it. Sadly, my suspicion that I bring bad luck around with me like a personal storm cloud was reinforced, because most of this stuff was hella gross.
It’s a contest, and the diners vote for the winner. Jojo at vegan.in.brighton invited me to join her this year, and considering how envious I have been in past years, I was all for it. Sadly, my suspicion that I bring bad luck around with me like a personal storm cloud was reinforced, because most of this stuff was hella gross.
The restaurant itself has fantastic vegan food. It’s a regular mainstream sushi restaurant, but they have one of the most vegan-friendly menus I’ve ever seen in an omni place. Equally important, the management is very committed to providing sustainable sushi — short of eliminating fish altogether. (They did remove bluefin tuna from their menu early on though, so there’s that.) Hence their dedication to vegan sushi, the most sustainable kind, and this event for raising awareness and interest in this most excellent lifestyle.
Everything I have eaten that was actually made by Moshimo chefs has been wonderful. It’s this whole letting-other-chefs-use-your-kitchen-and-feed-utter-nonsense-to-unsuspecting-patrons thing that gets tricky. At this event, eight chefs from different Brighton restaurants and catering companies came in and shared a vegan dish that incorporated the vegan sushi theme and their individual restaurant’s style. It’s a chance for great local chefs to be really creative and exciting and impressive. Usually, they are. This year, due to my storm cloud (but mostly due to lack of effort, taste buds, and common sense), the dishes ranged from boring to inedible to almost good, the worst kind. Well no, ‘inedible’ is I guess worse than food that with a little more effort could have been solid, but the latter makes me angrier. Let’s see what went down!
Everything I have eaten that was actually made by Moshimo chefs has been wonderful. It’s this whole letting-other-chefs-use-your-kitchen-and-feed-utter-nonsense-to-unsuspecting-patrons thing that gets tricky. At this event, eight chefs from different Brighton restaurants and catering companies came in and shared a vegan dish that incorporated the vegan sushi theme and their individual restaurant’s style. It’s a chance for great local chefs to be really creative and exciting and impressive. Usually, they are. This year, due to my storm cloud (but mostly due to lack of effort, taste buds, and common sense), the dishes ranged from boring to inedible to almost good, the worst kind. Well no, ‘inedible’ is I guess worse than food that with a little more effort could have been solid, but the latter makes me angrier. Let’s see what went down!
First, let’s look at all the wonderful food that Moshimo sent out between contest dishes to keep us happy. Seriously, these dishes were the best part of the night. Moshimo is a conveyor-belt-style sushi place, so it was really fun to pick the best looking plate coming down the belt. And it was really smart to keep diners happy and full with actually decent food.
The sampler dish sent out first was heaven. Roasted squash, seaweed salad, and a warm crunchy dumplingy thing I want some of right now. All good. We also got loads of edamame, dumplings, and maki rolls coming down the conveyor belt during the night. Moshimo’s sushi is fantastic. It’s simple yet still interesting.
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DEVIL BE GONE
All right, fine. Let’s get to the contest. First up was a dish called Fancy Nancy, which we learned at the end (it’s anonymous because of the contest) was from the fancy upscale restaurant Terre a Terre. I have been dying to eat at this restaurant, but now? Now I’m iffy! See what one bad showing can do? You always have to be on your game, people! Fancy Nancy featured pickled lotus, kimchee, cilantro, lychee — all of this sounds great and very sushi-like, right — but then these great ingredients came on top of Mexican cheesy rice. Oh my god I am going to throw up again just thinking about how ridiculous this was. Cold, fresh, fruity ingredients over HOT SPICY VOMIT RICE??? What? It was like the rice that comes in a burrito, but two days later. And then with fruit on top of it. I DON’T KNOW. So gross.
This is not sushi
Next up was Mochi Mochi (what a freaking creative name, people!) from the catering company Cashew. This was actually one of the three that I liked. However, it had nothing to do with sushi. They described it as mixed mushroom and edamame stuffed mochi, with ume, horseradish, pickle, cherry sauce, cucumber, and beetroot and carrot crisps. Okay, this was a potato croquette but made of rice. That’s it. A warm, comforting, mild croquette, without a sign of any ume or horseradish or anything aside from warm beigeness. But it was good!
“My chicken brings all the boys to the yard, so I don’t really have to put in any effort”
Coming up next was the Sprouting Maki, from VBites, the winner every year apparently and the winner this year as well! Good job…putting faux teriyaki chicken on a ball of rice. That’s what this was. It was one piece of all-rice “maki” (that’s just a rice ball) with a dollop of vegan caviar (horseradishy tiny balls), and then one piece oh so small of maki with the chicken on top. And then there was a teeny tiny square of papaya, randomly. It won because that teriyaki chicken is amazing. They should have given everyone a bowl of the stuff over rice, but that would have been costly. Or at least the chicken should have been inside the maki to make it more interesting. Oh well. This was everyone’s favorite but I wanted it to be better! Don’t just drop the main/best part on top! And that one plain rice ball was like a boring plain slap in the face. I do want some of that chicken now, though. That Heather Mills knows her stuff.
WHAT ARE YOU
Next was my favorite! I don’t mean favorite like this was delicious, or creative, or anything positive, but I mean it like holy crap, this was the funniest thing all evening. I mean what in the world. This Wasabi Canopy, I think it was called, was from Indian Summer, a catering company that didn’t even show up or send a chef, but just dropped off a tray of these and was like “Hey, other people who don’t work for us, put this shit on a plate and throw it in people’s faces.” It was a gram flour roll that was somehow like jelly. Gram flour, or chickpea flour, is one of my favorite food items ever. I use it all the time. Never in my experience have I discovered how to make it gelatinous and disgusting. I just…HOW??? How do you turn something as benign and wonderful as chickpea flour into a weird cold eggy roll? It felt like the devil’s work.
The dish from catering company 64 Degrees was at least properly named. It was called Gotcha, which is mean but it’s honest. And yeah, everything about this felt like trickery. It wasn’t bad at all, as a snack, but it was odd as a meal. Who thought of this? I wish I could have been in the room when the following conversation undoubtedly took place:
“We should take those small square Japanese rice crackers that everyone knows well from bulk bins and are generically named “Asian Snack” and soak them in a sweet sauce until they get chewy. BUT NOT SOFT.”
— “Um, Pete, that’s really weird. We’re trying to impress people with how good vegan sushi can be.”
“F%*# vegans! All good sushi has fish in it. So let’s just take something that’s already vegan – rice cracker thingies, they don’t have a name – and serve it like it’s dinner.”
— “But that will be really…weird. It might be a decent snack, but that’s not a good meal. We’re trying to win a contest here by presenting dinner food.”
“If we win, then vegans win.”
— “What?”
“Do you want vegans to win?”
–“I…what?”
“Do you have a better idea?”
And that’s the story behind how we were served bowls of those crunchy rice crackery things soaked in a sweet miso glaze until they became unbelievably chewy and caramelized, and how we all lost teeth and gained future cavities.
SAD FACE FOR EVER
The dish that came around next was probably the meanest food I’ve ever been served. It was a ‘Frida Kahlo’. I mean. wtf. That’s what the Mexican restaurant La Choza named this dish. It was a Freedom Rolls tortilla wrapped around habanero chiles, squash, adobo, and avocado wasabi sauce, cut into a maki-sized roll. So it was a little revolting burrito shaped like a piece of sushi. It was extremely hot because of the chiles, but with absolutely no other flavor besides hot public bathroom. Not only was it disgusting like bland vomit air, but it made me lose brain function for a minute and inexplicably I ATE TWO OF THEM. I was sick for weeks. Hell I’m sick now just thinking about it. Why would I waste room on two of these abominations? What on earth came over me? Did the first one not disgust me enough? Was a part of my stupid, stupid brain thinking, “Wait, was that thing I just ate disgusting, or am I making that up? Am I making that up? Did I forget so quickly what that tastes like? Here, let me try again.” NO!
SO WANT
Luckily (or unluckily because I was almost too full from the two pieces of turd I had just eaten), the next dish was my favorite. It was a play on fish and chips and sushi at the same time, and it was definitely the most creative of the night, as if the chef had actually listened to the instructions. It was Unfish and Chips, from the catering company Egg & Spoon. The dish was a big fat piece of quinoa and pickled tofu stuffed maki with tempura tofu wrapped around the outside. A few spots of yuzu ketchup and wasabi mushy pea puree dotted the plate, along with a wakame rice chip. I wish I ate two of these instead. There was a lot of quinoa here, and it was a bit hard to eat, but so is all good sushi, or something like that. The taste was pretty much ‘tempura’, and it was delicious. However, one of the purees, I think the yuzu, tasted like hot empty trash sweat to me. Like a rotten piece of wood. Others thought it was fine, so maybe I had a bad batch or maybe I am allergic to dumb things like pureeing a yellow fruit and calling it ketchup. That was not delicious, but the main part of this dish was indeed, so it’s cool. They came in second place and rightly so. This was the kind of thing I was expecting every round to feature: something creative that actually tasted good.
NO
Sadly, no one saved the best for last here. The last round was not even good. From caterer Sam’s, another terrible competitor who failed to send a chef in and just dropped off trays with no instructions and hardly even a how-do-you-do, came a kohlrabi and shiitake ‘salad’ with toasted sesame oil. I put salad in quotes because this looked more like soup given the amount of oil the kohlrabi was swimming in. So. freaking. wrong. I was so excited for some cool fresh veggies and I was given a full cup of sesame oil instead. The mushrooms were entirely too salty to enjoy, and the kohlrabi was freaking hard to eat with chopsticks because of how oily it was! So gross.
Luckily, the good people at Moshimo gave us their wonderful chocolate mousse for dessert. Can’t go wrong with simple chocolate mousse.
Man alive, can you believe this showing? Do I dare attend next year? It can only improve, right? Even though a lot of the dishes were gross, I’m really glad I went this year. I now know so many businesses to avoid! But seriously it was a lot of fun, and it’s always good to get Moshimo sushi! Even if I had to eat a lot of other crap as well.
Man alive, can you believe this showing? Do I dare attend next year? It can only improve, right? Even though a lot of the dishes were gross, I’m really glad I went this year. I now know so many businesses to avoid! But seriously it was a lot of fun, and it’s always good to get Moshimo sushi! Even if I had to eat a lot of other crap as well.
Protein-Packed Cashew Butter Cups That Have No Business Being So G-D Delicious
Not only have I just written the most honest blog post title yet, but I’ve also somehow made absolute MAGIC in the kitchen. And because I’m super generous (sui generis?), I’m sharing the recipe with you today. I really can’t get over how delicious these cashew butter cups are. Like I said, they have no business being so amazing, and while they also have no business being called ‘cashew butter cups’, it sounds a lot better and is easier to say that than ‘random protein powders and sneaky bean cups’ ewww I knowww but stay with me.
So yeah, these are sneaky aquafaba (no aquafaba used but I like saying aquafaba instead of ‘af’ because the latter looks like a typo and I am deliberate about my werds) healthy little treats. Sure, they are encased in chocolate and full of maple syrup but look at everything else! It’s basically oatmeal, and you can and should have these for breakfast. Start your day right! Who needs coffee?
obligatory fancy paper towel shot i’m so fance-ayy you don’t even knowww i don’t know the words
I was inspired to make these because of several things. First of all, I realized I hadn’t made my amazing homemade peanut butter cups in like a year, and that’s not right. Second of all, I have a very-many-kilo tub of cashew butter I got super cheap recently and need to use before we set off on our upcoming long-term travel (more on that next week!). Third, I like chocolate-y desserts and especially nut buttery cups, but I also like getting a shittonne of protein because I like working out and being stronger than all the non-vegans at my gym (ALL OF EM) and according to my husband my upper back is getting scary so we gotta maintain that (#SoSwole #VegansWhoSwole #WhatDoesSwoleMean). So, like Joey with his hot girls on one hand and jam on the other, we’re gonna put those hands together and make chocolate nut buttery cups that happen to be full of protein and oats and nut butters and generally every food necessary for sick gains bro.
I got the idea to mainly use cashews and to add in oats (god I love oats and thank goodness for that considering they will compose roughly 1/3 of my diet this summer #trainlife) from The Loopy Whisk blog. I was originally going to adhere more closely to her recipe, but as always I cannot be controlled in the kitchen and I went nuts with other ingredients and the powders and randomness that all turned out wonderfully. Chaos is yummy. And with this sort of thing, you can be super flexible about your measurements and anything you’d like to personally add (or subtract) and it’ll most likely turn out great, especially when you cuppify it in chocolate. I am still so shocked at how amazing this filling is, though. It really tastes like mildy cashew buttery cookie dough! This makes a lot a lot of filling, which I am happy about because I made some tiny balls (hehe balls) of just the filling and froze them, so I have these little ice cream-y cookie dough balls that are really nutritious and perfect for warm weather snacking, especially in a land that doesn’t believe in air conditioning. Who needs AC when you have frozen mini cookie dough balls! You can also just melt more chocolate and use all the filling up making cups and cups and endless cups, if you have that many cupcake liners/Silpat mats/time units. Or you can just halve the filling recipe like a CHUMP but there are no chumps reading this blog so enjoy the extra however you please.
I’m super obsessed with the little smooth hats the silicone mat creates
PROTEIN-PACKED CASHEW BUTTER CUPS
Ingredients
For the filling:
For the filling:
- 3/4 cup cashew butter
- 1/3 cup peanut butter
- 1 overflowing cup chickpeas (what other kind of cup of chickpeas IS there am I right)
- 2/3 cup oats
- 2/3 cup brown rice protein powder
- 1/3 cup pea protein powder
- 1 tablespoon ground flax seed
- 1/4 cup coconut oil, melted
- 1/3 cup maple syrup
- 2 tsp vanilla extract
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/3 cup unsweetened almond milk – be flexible with the amount if like me you have to use a blender (more on that below) and also you know what, if you have a sweetened and/or flavored milk, just go nuts and use it we are making a sweet thang after all you get down with your bad self!
For the chocolate:
- 1 cup chocolate chips
- 2 tablespoons coconut oil
- Flaked sea salt for dusting if you roll like that and don’t have high blood presh
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Directions
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obligatory gorgeous inside blender shot you are welcome 
Step 3: the first chocolate layer 
Step 6! We’re getting there! |
i’m so neat
Yay we did it! Aren’t they soo good? I am so excited about these and I hope you like them. Enjoy!
