Veganizing "Friends": Dr. Roger's Oysters & Middle Eastern Couscousby Randi / September 16, 2013
A lone fisherman on Inle Lake
The final leg of our journey through Myanmar centered around a relaxing – and then unfortunately horrendous – stay in Inle Lake, followed by a long, arduous, and amazing trek to the pilgrimage site of Golden Rock.
After another bucket-jumper flight to Heho to visit the lake villages, we stopped in Pindaya to see the famous Pindaya caves. The caves are a must-see, because they house more than 8,000 Buddha sculptures!
After another bucket-jumper flight to Heho to visit the lake villages, we stopped in Pindaya to see the famous Pindaya caves. The caves are a must-see, because they house more than 8,000 Buddha sculptures!
This goes on for so long
I kept expecting one to move
The Buddha images in Pindaya caves range in age from modern to several hundred years old. All kinds of people can donate the statues, from important government officials to civilians, so the mix is impressive.
In addition to the inside of the caves, the outside is really fun too. There’s this legend of princesses who, while bathing in the lake, were captured by a giant spider and trapped in the caves. Then, Prince Kummabhaya (Peter, Paul & Mary’s friend) saved them by shooting the spider with his bow and arrow. This legend is depicted at the entrance to the caves:
In addition to the inside of the caves, the outside is really fun too. There’s this legend of princesses who, while bathing in the lake, were captured by a giant spider and trapped in the caves. Then, Prince Kummabhaya (Peter, Paul & Mary’s friend) saved them by shooting the spider with his bow and arrow. This legend is depicted at the entrance to the caves:
That’s me laughing instead of recoiling from the spider. #Vegans
Transport to our hotel
After visiting Pindaya, we finally made our way to Inle Lake and to our hotel, Paradise Inle Resort. Inle Lake is a freshwater area in the Shan State (namesake of the super comfortable shan pants), and most people stay in some type of ‘resort’ while they explore the lake villages by boat during the day. You can only get around by boat – these hotels and villages are single buildings standing in the water (see below). No roads, just water. It’s pretty awesome. Aside from seeing the village markets and a few pagodas, there’s not much to do, hence the ‘resorts’ expect you to eat all your meals there and be there after dark.
A village in Inle Lake
Our hotel. It looks like that green part is land, but it’s not! Floating gardens!
At first, I was kind of upset that we had so many days in the Lakes and there was so little to do, but then…then it was the best thing ever. Because we got sick. REALLY sick. I thought I cholera. Luckily, my travel doctor (you need lots of shots for this country) had said, before the trip, “You’re going to get sick. Really sick. Here’s what you take when you do,” so we had proper medicine. Kind of hilarious, the doctor just hearing “Myanmar” and saying, yeah, no matter what you do, drink only bottled water eat only cooked food, whatever, you’re still going to get sick. And we did. Thank goodness this hotel was the one with television and wifi. It was the perfect place for the worst sickness ever! (Side note: ‘Joyful Noise’ is a fun movie to watch when you are half gone. Also, they blurred Keke Palmer’s cleavage in it! Hahahah! No one else’s cleavage, not Dolly Parton’s or anything, but the teenager’s. So weird!)
A woman removing the thread from lotus leaves 
Women making cheroot |
Thankfully, we recovered and got to see all the Lake sights. We visited lotus weavers, who do everything from pull the thread from lotus leaves to spin the thread into finished products for sales. Everyone was really nice, letting us watch them work. This lady tied some lotus thread around my wrist. It was really sweet.
We visited cheroot makers as well. Cheroot is a type of cigar, filled with all kinds of leaves and herbs and other addicting stuff. They are inexpensive and insanely popular. They are also mentioned in Rudyard Kipling’s poem “On the Road to Mandalay”, which I mentioned before:
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An’ I seed her first a-smokin’ of a whackin’ white cheroot,
An’ a-wastin’ Christian kisses on an ‘eathen idol’s foot
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I like it because you have to say ‘foot’ funny.
Anyway, the next place we visited in the Lakes will probably be your favorite – the Burmese Cat Sanctuary! We played with cats, and it was adorable. And they seemed to be well taken care of. It was also one of the nicest buildings we saw. I’m pretty sure you can stay here, as there were a few nice looking guest rooms. And there’s also a cafe, but we didn’t have a chance to look at the menu. These cats were so friendly. They have the run of the house and the gardens outside. |
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Burmese Cat Sanctuary
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There are so many cool things to see in this area, like these floating gardens:
And the impressively nimble fishermen, who famously stand on one leg, at the stern of the boat, while wrapping the other leg around the oar, handling the net while fishing pretty much hands-free. It’s crazy to watch: |
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A fisherman practicing hands-free yoga-style fishing
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As with all other towns in Burma, the daily markets are the biggest draw. The ones in Inle Lake were my favorite, because they sold this special tofu made from split peas! It’s found only in this region, and I’m so mad I couldn’t get to try it because of all the sickness. And the lack of cooking equipment. I need to go back ASAP just for this tofu.
The markets are usually really crowded, great for meeting people and getting a feel of a certain town. They’re also great for one of my favorite things – taking pictures of adorable children (boyfriend calls me the ‘babysnatcher’). 
Cute child! In a hat! 
Potato rice ball 
That’s my parasol he’s dancing with! |
Split pea tofu 
Cute child friends! Even though I didn’t get to eat the tofu, I did have some nice things once I was able to eat again. The hotel had this amazingly carbtastic potato-rice ball for breakfast, and we also saw women making huge, feather-light rice cakes.
Making rice cakes But the coolest thing that happened during the trip was when we stumbled upon a community’s celebration of young boys’ novitiation – they were about to be sent as novices to study at a monastery, to one day become monks. They saw us standing pretty far away, and without having any shared words they invited us to celebrate with them.
Big party, everyone’s invited! I also got a picture of some English graffiti! Street art is my favorite thing to photograph (see: this site’s home page banner!).
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Graffiti!
The last part of our journey was a visit to Golden Rock, the hard-to-reach pilgrimage site. We flew back to Yangon from Heho, then drove for a long time, and then…and then we were packed onto this truck. And I mean packed. We thought we were going to wait for the next truck, but they squeezed us onto this one. I have never had so little personal space. The guy I was next to was great though; he kept saying “USA!” and “Obama!”. Hilarious. We drove through the mountains in this truck for about 45 minutes, and then it drops you off and you walk another 45 minutes or so to the Golden Rock area. It was quite a day, but so worth it. Look at this:
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How awesome is this! It’s such a precarious perch, and no one understands how it is staying put (except to praise Buddha for it). The effort you have to put in to get here is so worth it. It was a fantastic final sight in Myanmar.
Because of how far it is from everything, you stay overnight in the area. We stayed at a great hotel right outside the entrance, on a street peppered with vendors, a few of whom sell rice balls that are vegan-friendly. Staying overnight lets you see this amazing sight in the daytime, at sunrise, and of course at night, when the grounds light up and the Rock looks like it is truly lit up by some higher force. |
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Well, it wasn’t exactly our last thing. We did have to go back to Yangon for a day or two before flying out of the country. We learned so much on our trip and developed such tolerance for difficult cultural differences that this sign, below, no longer phased us. Well…almost didn’t.
WHICH WAY!!!! WHICH WAY DO I GO!!! AHHHHH!!!!!
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One Day in Moscow: Hello Old Friend
After our lovely time in Volgograd, we had to return to Moscow in order to get into Eastern Europe (to Kyiv, Ukraine). If you look at a map (or the map above how bout), you’ll notice that it’s a sharp backwards turn to go Volgograd-Moscow-Kyiv (it’s the part of the map that is like an A) and kind of silly when Volgograd to Kyiv directly would save hours and hours and make a lot more sense. But guess what’s happening on that route? CRIMEA. Can’t go through there! Ever since the Russian Federation annexed Crimea (in March 2014), pro-Russian protests in the region escalated to armed conflict between the separatist forces and the Ukrainian government. Thousands of people are fighting still and it’s very dangerous. Russia is, as uzh, very cagey about everything bad it’s doing, and it deny its presence in the region almost as often as it confirms that ‘military specialists’ are there. Russia is real trouble and we didn’t want to reward its terribleness with more tourism money spent there, but we had no choice so back to Moscow we went.
WELLLLLCOMEEEEE WELCOME TO MOSKVA
It was a pretty long train considering how close Volgograd and Moscow look to each other when you’re looking at the rest of the freaking inordinately enormous country. But the overnight train still was about 18 hours! Faaaack this country is TOO BIG. We didn’t get to buy out the other beds in our cabin this time because it was WAY too expensive to do that, like incredibly so, much more than we would ever consider and more than it cost to do it at other points in our trip. We found out soon enough why buying out the cabin was prohibitively expensive: IT WAS THE NICEST TRAIN EVER! omg! Just like when we trained to Moscow the first time, so I guess only the nicest trains go into Moscow. Holy crap, you can’t even. I couldn’t even! It was so nice I almost cried. I guess when you are on a train route named #001 you can expect it to be special.
The seats/beds were a shiny, super clean red leather (assuming it was pleather), and everything was spotless. There was a very new TV over the window and we watched some SHIT that night! Like really really bad movies, the kinds whose rights are cheap enough to obtain for a Russian overnight train, that kind of bad. There were outlets by every bed, along with personal safes! Whaaaat! A meal was included in the ticket (nothing vegan but picked at the sides, but still, surprise free food!). There were toothbrush kits and slippers and WATER BOTTLES. It was heaven. Luckily, no one joined us in our cabin until the middle of the night. I mean not SO luckily considering we were already asleep but hey it’s better than having strangers around while we were hysterically laughing at the TV.
I CAN SEE RUSSIA FROM MY WINDOW
I can’t remember the name of one particular terrible movie we watched, but I do remember how I felt watching it, because Z took a picture of me hysterically crying. From laughing. It’s the most embarrassing picture of me ever so I am not going to share that with you but I will share the picture of the thing I was crying at:
Yeah it’s a baby in a slightly too big snowsuit, and I thought it was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life, apparently, because I cry-laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe, and for a while too. Z was flabbergasted, he (like most humans I am sure) just could NOT understand what I found so funny. I don’t know it was just amazing! Maybe I was just delirious from being on an actually nice, clean train. No it’s just adorable too.
We arrived in Moscow the next morning pretty well rested, but not very clean. We needed to shower! Problem: We were only in the city until our next train that evening. We had only the day, so we did not book any lodging. Unfortunately, the train station we arrived in in Moscow did not have showers. So we found a nearby hostel, maybe 10 minutes walk away, and asked if we could pay to use the showers. We offered to pay the price of a dorm bed, which you’d think they would be happy to accept, right? The money for a bed but without actually losing the bed? Just ten minutes of water? It was SO difficult to get through what we actually wanted. JUST A SHOWER. THAT’S IT. No room, no bed. OH my god we waited by the front desk for AGES while the very young very notsmart employees discussed what on earth was happening. Luckily someone finally got it and agreed so we showered, one at a time, the other guarding our luggage in a hallway. It was super awkward but better than being dirty. Of course our towels then had to be packed up wet which is gross but we didn’t really need them anymore!
Finally clean, finally ready to explore Moscow once again…except we didn’t really have anything left on our list! We had seen all the museums and important buildings and sights and stuff a few months ago! I know, months – can you believe it? It was kind of like coming home after all the crazy world we had seen, albeit a home where you don’t feel safe sooo. Anyway, what should we do? First order of business? GUM. Of course! Remember that’s ‘goom’, not like the stuff you chew, but the most famous Russian department store in Red Square. It’s super fancy with all the luxury stores but they do have the best, cheapest ice cream (for Husband) and that’s the first thing he wanted. And I was eager to go to the main floor’s fancy grocery store and pick up a few fun ingredients to bring home (we were at the point in our trip when we could buy and lug around souvenirs!!). Unfortunately, a televised event was happening on the main floor that day, so the grocery and well nigh everything on the main floor was cordoned off except for fancy people with VIP badges. Mad face.
We watched the happenings from the second floor landings for a while, bemoaning the fact that our fancy store was being kept from us. Or vice versa, really. But it was all worth it when the f-ing Von Trapp family started singing Russian folk songs.
IT WAS THE BEST! So much fun! I would have joined them if I knew the folksongs and if it didn’t look so g-d embarrassing. I’m surprised Putin lets such gaiety occur in public places. This happened to be Rosh Hashanah (which OF COURSE I said all day was ‘Russia shana’ not that you could tell when speaking but hey now you know!) so I pretended it was for that. Merry New Year!
My next order of business (my only real plan for Moscow) was to return to Fresh, the vegetarian cafe, for lunch. I was SO pumped for a big fun salad! Fresh wasn’t as good as I remembered, or as I had built up in my mind; after three months in central Asia I guess the dream of these amazing vegan salads had gotten too big to be matched by any reality. Still good, still good!
We were really hungry and who knows when we would ever get back to Fresh or Moscow so we over-ordered as we do. We got this awesome salad with marinated tofu, sweet potato, goji berries and a seed and sprout mix, plus two burgers. I got the avocado burger which didn’t say anything about being one-sided bun-wise, but came without a top half. I was kind of mad but our waiter sucked so I didn’t say anything. Who leaves off the top bun? It’s not even open-faced just lacking. It tasted really great though. The cheese sauce was RG.
We also had the BBQ burger, which comes with garlic mayo, banana chilies, and best of all onion rings! On the burger! (And also a top half of the bun.) We also got a side order of onion rings because when do you ever seen vegan onion rings?
We also had a few juices and smoothies, which are fine at Fresh but nothing special. Way too expensive for the amount you get and not cold enough. But overall, it was a great lunch, the best in ages, and almost worth the time and money spent for this necessary backtracking.
Across the street from Fresh is a fancy little grocery store that has a TON of vegan milks. They also have a bakery case and I saw that they had a vegan cannoli in there!
As you can see, it says ‘raw vegan’ on the vegan desserts, including the cannoli. I was too excited in the prospect of an unexpected vegan dessert (and a cannoli at that!) that I momentarily lost my mind and forgot how disappointing raw desserts usually are. Ughhhhhh I mean it was fiiine but like, for a nut-and-date bar. I want to go to Philly, buy Vegan Treats cannolis (incredible), and go back to this shoppe and be like “I need to speak to the manager and the baker. Here, try these and learn from your terrible mistakes. Do not make them again. Also give me those cannolis back you only get a bite are you kidding me?”
After GUM and lunch were finished with, we honestly just walked around town all day! It was nice to not have to do anything in particular, although we felt a little weird not having a plan. And it was a lot colder than it was the last time we were in town! We had to wear all our clothes Joey-style.
We were gone so long it became fall! Moscow tries to butter you up with sights like this but then a foot away was a police barricade.
Well, we did have one thing on our list – buying souvenirs! Matryioshka, in particular – I had to get those Russian nesting dolls for everyone! This was indeed the best part of getting to return here, because this way we didn’t have to buy souvenirs at the start of our trip and carry them around for 3+ months! We did lots of location scouting, and there’s this tiny souvenir shoppe INSIDE a phone store right outside Red Square, and they have the cheapest matryioshka. There are tons of shoppes and tons of the dolls, but they are weirdly very expensive for how cheaply made they are. But they know everyone visiting Moscow wants them, I guess!
Could not fit this one into my bag but ohhh how much did I want to!!! You could fit inside this one! OMG YOU WOULD BE ONE OF THE NESTING DOLLS AHHH. (Don’t mind the closed eyes, it happens in 90% of my pictures)
I also bought hilarious chocolate that we found in a grocery store. Oh man it’s probably not that funny but we found it hilarious. It’s called ‘Plan B’ and I just love the idea of this getting confused with the abortion pill, oh my goodness. We picked the funniest one of the ones on display, because it was the funniest but also because it was accidentally vegan – the one with the picture of a working woman on it, and it’s TEQUILA flavored! like to think they really meant to hammer home that working women who drink alcohol, ESPECIALLY tequila, should not have children. I also like the one with the woman searching for answers in the fridge, like ‘hmm maybe I shouldn’t procreate.’ Oh man this cracked me up. I bought the entire shelf to give to friends. I haven’t actually tried it yet but I will report back.
I also got to enjoy my first ice cream of the entire summer! It was a Tutti Frutti (not sure if it was actually the same chain as we have all over the west or if Russia just was continuing its love of trademark infringement) do-it-yourself soft-serve kinda jawn and it was FRUIT SORBET so it doesn’t REALLY count, but still, it was a decent treat after months and months without ice cream. (Luckily, we were heading soon to the vegan ice cream capital of the world….)
I wanna say I got orange flavored and grape flavored sorbet swirls. I can say for certain that those are blueberries up top
So we had a pretty fun, really random single day in Moscow. It was fun to know our way around and remember things from the real visit, and to treat this day like non-tourists, just in it for food and shopping. It still had that weird vibe that I felt before, like it’s nice and all but we’re super being watched and/or controlled by state police. Moscow is a strange city to like because of all its political issues, but we do sort of strangely like it.
Bye, Red Square, it’s been real. (Real hard to get in because of the police barricades heyoooo)
Entering China: The Train from Ulaan Baatar to Beijing
July 20-21
Dear little baby laptop diary,
Dear little baby laptop diary,
Here we are on our 8th long train journey of the summer but the very first part of our China adventure! For the next 30 hours, I look to you for support, for guidance, for refuge from our very very loud Canadian male cabinmates (I thought Canadians were polite loudness beyond all decibel recognition is not polite). But most of all, I look to you for distraction from the fact that the bathrooms might be closed for 6 full hours tonight, for customs and bogie (wheel) changing. I am not stress-free, I’ll say that.
bye Mongolia don’t let the door hit you in the ass oh wait no doors
Luckily, the train is a tiny bit nicer than what we’ve been on for the past 5 weeks. It’s another Chinese train, so it’s smoky as all hell, of course, but I guess that’s good practice for all the secondhand cigarette smoke and (god I hope not) lung problems I’ll be getting once we arrive in China. But other than that (and of course, the Chinese tradition of not supplying toilet paper, soap, or speaking English), the train is nicer. Our cabin seems ever so slightly wider than usual, meaning all four of us can sit on the bottom bunks and not have our legs touch. Most importantly, there are outlets in here! Two of them! Before, on the Russian trains, there was one 220V outlet in the entire carriage hallway that everyone fought over to charge their phones. But here, hell we’ve got the phones charged, the kindles charged, and you little baby are plugged in for the first time on a train! How does that feel!
Even better, there are two toilets at one end of the carriage instead of one at each end. So the attendants did not lock the one by them for their own use! Two toilets for me! Best of all, the other toiletless end of the carriage has an open area with the hot water station (no more samovars, of course, being out of Russia, but still endless hot water) and TWO SINKS! No more washing our cups in the toilet sink! No more waiting to pee while 4 people use the toilet just to brush their teeth! We’re flying high! And most importantly, the sinks can’t be locked, so with my newfound lack of inhibition cultivated in the Mongolian country tour, if need be, I will just pee in those open sinks. What are they gonna do about it?
the mountains and smog of China start to take shape
No, really, I’m incredibly nervous about the bogie change. Mongolian exit customs starts at 6:30pm and is about two hours, and then Chinese entry customs starts only half an hour later, at 9pm, so I think the bathrooms will be closed that entire time, with that half hour not long enough to warrant an official reopening. I’m nervous enough about that, but the Chinese customs part includes a bogie change to account for the difference in tracks or wheel requirements in China or somesuch nonsense that will force the bathrooms to be closed until freaking 1:30am. So best case, that’s a 4 1/2 hour closure, which I can’t do, and worst case, that’s a 6 hour closure, which I REALLY can’t do. The guide book says we are able to get off the train and wait at the station while they change the bogies, but then you are out in the cold until 1:30am!!! Is anyone else on this UTI machine worrying about this? How is it possible for anyone to think of anything else? Even you can’t go for 6 hours without needing to pee! Come on! Does everyone have a Stadium Pal in their packs? Adult diapers? WHAT’S THEIR SECRET? What do I do Murray?!
While I wait for my fate to reveal itself, I am listening to our two Canadians TALK REALLY LOUDLY ABOUT ALL KINDS OF THINGS IN THEIR REALLY LOUD VOICES. They are nice enough but like shut the crap up already I’m trying to do literally anything but listen to your talk about Burning Man and how it’s the best thing in the world and ughhh you wish you were theeeere because it’s just representative of everrrything gooood the worrrrld can beeee. SHUT UP I HATE YOU AND BURNING MAN IT SOUNDS TERRIBLE.
The dining car was soo fancy! I didn’t eat in there because the food was Mongolian (the dining car is always from the country you start in) and NATHANKS but so pretty!
The scenery is hilarious. We are literally going through the desert right now, so there is nothing for miles and miles and miles. Just sand. Nothingness. It’s so dry out there. Damn I would hate to be stuck in the desert.
Omg this one guy’s voice is like the loudest you can ever imagine. How is this person human? I didn’t know regular human talking could occur at this decibel. If I were in my apartment I’d be calling the police about a noise violation like I used to do all the time in Philly about that stupid burrito place across the street like listen it’s 3pm and you are NOT a club you are a burrito shop so stop thumping the bass like yo’re a gangster no one wants to eat your food if they can feel the thumping in their chest too just chill the f.
So the loud boys like to pass the time on the train – on a THIRTY HOUR TRAIN – by playing 20 Questions with each other. You know, when you think of something, anything, and the other person has 20 questions to ask before guessing what it is. Usually children who don’t know what to do with their lives play this. Usually people pick objects they can see or something. Do you wanna know what their first question to each other has invariably been? Are you even ready for this because I still am not. The very first question they ask each other every round is, “Is it a product of modernity?” jigga WHAT?????? IS IT A PRODUCT OF MODERNITY? Who DOES THAT! START WITH ‘IS IT AN OBJECT” FOR FUCKS SAKE.
I do not like them. And I do not like that apparently all Chinese attendants will be constantly smoking. I know that I am a broken record of complaint in these posts but I am confined to this theme by the narrowness of my experiences.
Wanna hear the funniest thing? These two idiots are going to Beijing to catch a flight TO NORTH KOREA! Oh they are going to get eaten ALIVE by Kim and his friends. I mean honestly they need to tone it down, for real; it’s dangerous to go there and not know how to behave in civilized society (Kim and I am civilized society). Soooo many men in uniform are going to be like SHUT UPPPPP but in Korean. Godspeed to you two foolios, godspeed.
Okay so we are in the middle of the customs time. I am very thirsty but I was able to pee right before the designated time for exit customs. The Mongolians pored over every single page of our passports just because we want to leave. I really don’t understand exit customs. You already let us in, just let me out please. It took a few hours and at 8:30pm I heard some commotion down by the bathrooms and guess what, someone else indeed had to pee! Other people are human too! A lady got the attendant to open a bathroom before Chinese customs officials boarded and the line grew down the whole carriage. Woohoo!
Chinese customs officials do not smile, but they do bark. We got stamped through though, and then the train started moving back and forth between stations, like long 10 minute rides back and forth. Something was clearly not going right. Finally we went into a building we had passed 4 times – yes, straight into it- and saw that all the carriages of our train had been separated and were kind of stacked sideways to each other, so we could look from our window into another carriage’s cabins. Privacy violation! It was so weird behind on a train but being inside this random warehouse. And then, all of a sudden, we realized our car had been raised like 15 feet in the air, without us feeling it! Chinese machinery is sophisticated! (Made in Japan?)
But after a bit of time, things stopped being so smooth. The entire carriage started being jerked this way and that, preventing any kind of relaxation and invoking a mass confusion of whispered “what’s going on”s. A few minutes would pass, then we’d hear a BANG! CRASH! Like a comic strip except we were in a train car and no one could tell us what was going on. They need to work on this system.
At about 10:30pm, a French lady nearby got the attendant to open the toilet. I don’t even care that this lady was also smoking, I love her now. I was going to be okay. Dehydrated and exhausted and concerned about what the crap was going on outside, but okay.
But we thought by then that the bogie change was over. Why were we still in the warehouse? Where…wait where were all the other carriages? We could no longer see ANY of the rest of our train, like they had regrouped and departed to continue the journey and forgotten to add car #4 back in. Ermmmm guys? GUYS? CAN ANYONE TELL US WHAT’S GOING ON?
By this point, the screamers and Z had all gone to sleep, while I waited for a chance to do Final Pee (TM) before sleep. I thought it was coming – I was so tired! But the clang clang clang of the bogie machines still rocked our carriage back and forth – while these silly boys just SLEPT. I wanted to scream how can you people be sleeping through this I’m literally having to hold onto the railings! By 12:45am, we had left the warehouse but just as little as possible – we were parked outside it. I honestly think that we were waiting for the train to come back and collect us and add us back in. I have no evidence of this – I probably just couldn’t see the rest of the train from my window’s angle – but come on what else would be taking until 1 in the morning!
Finally I really had to pee and wanted to sleep so bad that I resorted to playing dirty with the attendant: I went to his cabin, opened the door, and put my hands together and said ‘toilet, please??’ He pointed to his watch and said “Must wait! Must wait!” I said “please emergency” and he again said “must wait!” So, I dug a tampon out of my pocket that I had dug out of my bag and held it up for him and said ‘NEED TO USE’. He SHUDDERED and instead of being forced to think about lady problems for any longer, he hurried to open the toilet for me. Guys! I successfully discovered a surefire way to always get the men to unlock the toilets! Make them super uncomfortable by showing them a tampon that you’re not going to even use (don’t use tampons at night, PSA)! New train motto is AHATIMP (always have a tampon in my pocket) and I will be stress-freeeee saaaailing awayyyyyy hoorayyy for fragile masculinity!
I slept.
In the morning, at about 7 or 8, I heard the SUPER LOUD CANADIANS (seriously they can’t be Canadian I think they are lying) rustling and opened my eyes, which I shouldn’t have done because that triggered the extra loud one to immediately announce that the attendants wanted to collect all the sheets. “Fuck that”, I said, glaring at him, and turned over for more sleep. I am so in charge now.
The landscape starting looking undeniably like the China I was so eager to see, with misty mountains and lots of buildings and smog (well I wasn’t excited about the smog) and just so much interesting scenery. The mountains were incredible! I’m so excited to see so much of this country. We will soon arrive for five days in Beijing. Stay tuned! And let me know if you hear anything in the news about two Canadian men being captured in NK.
