The Wonders of Inle Lake & Golden Rock, Myanmar (Burma)

After the three days of train of the last post, during which I went just a little batty (silly spoiled me judging the Russian trains so harshly so the universe decided to teach me a lesson because I had NO idea what was coming with the Chinese trains), we landed in Irkutsk. We were truly in the heart of Siberia now, spending one day in Irkutsk before bussing up to Olkhon Island on Lake Baikal, promised to be an idyllic, beautiful site and the time we get to relax. Lol. 

We were so antsy from our long train that we just wanted to walk around the city all day. Well, shower, and then walk around the city all day. We walked to our hostel, Baikaler, which was about 30 minutes walk, which seemed fine when we were deciding to do it, but then after like 10 minutes in the heat with our packs and not having slept well for 3 nights, well it wasn’t the greatest idea we ever had. The Baikaler hostel was a little hard to find, with the door around the back of the street in like an alley, and then up three flights of stairs. It’s a tiny place, with only like 10 beds and one private room (ours thank goodness), and no real common area. There was a tiny couch right at the front door, but that whole front area was the size of a bathroom and filled with everyone’s shoes and all the luggage being left by people checking out that day so it was cramped. Also, there was only one toilet and one shower for the whole place. Luckily we got to shower within the hour because we’ve never been so disgusting. But a toilet line at night is not my idea of fun.

After we were clean, we went out into the city and immediately got dirty again because the air quality is much, much worse. Walking around Irkutsk, I actually had trouble breathing, like I had asthma. It was really bad, probably because the cars are all of lower quality and producing the most incredibly toxic emissions you’ve ever seen. All over Siberia we noticed this, how obviously awful the air pollution was. Sucks. We went into the very first cafe we saw for First Real Meal in Days, called Baikal Love Sit & Eat Cafe. They were out of the things on the menu that seemed vegetarian but the lady was nice and made me a (nother) tomato and cucumber salad as well as a plate of rice and peas that was quite good. I didn’t take pictures because I was just so excited to eat, even though it was my approximately one millionth cucumber tomato salad. 

​After fooding, we walked to see two Decembrists house museums. The Decembrists were a group who made an uprising in Russian government in 1825 and were so successful that they became a pretty popular indie rock band. See, we didn’t really learn much about them because, despite two museums here and more we saw later in other places, every exhibit on Decembrists refuses to talk about what they actually did politically. All they talk about instead is how they dealt with their exile to Siberia and what they made of their lives in exile with families and stuff. Seriously, it’s almost like they aren’t allowed to talk about it? It’s so obvious that they are all missing a huge part of the story and like, that can’t be an accident. So I looked it up. They were protesting Tsar Nicholas I’s assumption to the throne after his elder brother removed himself from succession. I mean it sounds like that’s perfectly fine; if you are accepting monarchy and bloodlines of men who you give the power to rule you then why wouldn’t the younger brother get to go if the older brother says nah? Isn’t Harry going to be my King if Wills turns it down? Oh no that little pistol George goes before Harry now! But he’s a baby! He can’t even read! I don’t want a King who can’t even read!

The two museums operated on a joint ticket that gave a slight discount so we did both – the Trubetskoy and the Volkonsky Museum. I think I liked the Volkonsky one better but it could be because we went there first when I still had the mental ability to lie to myself about having any semblance of energy. That ended quickly. We weren’t sure if we could take pictures – the museum attendant literally followed us room to room and guided us into the next when we seemed done with each one (soo awkward, and more of that to come, we learned) but we snuck a few pictures:

​We magically walked by a cafe afterwards that had fresh juices and smoothies. I totally wanted a watermelon juice! I watched as the girl picked up a small whole watermelon and cut it and put some of it in a blender and I was like yesss it’s just watermelon this is amaaazing. I loved it! I didn’t take a picture but I got a picture of the menu. Such a lucky find as I started crashing. It didn’t help a great deal (it’s mostly water!) but at least was yummy. They had smoothies and milkshakes too, so Husband got a milkshake. They had chocolate, banana, and ‘plain’, and we asked ‘so is plain just vanilla?’ and the staffers looked at us like we had 3 heads and were like ‘…no, it means it’s plain…’ Husband ordered it and I was like of course it just means it will be vanilla, we just don’t know the right word for it? But no it wasn’t vanilla. It was plain. Unidentifiable but unmistakable just ‘plain’ flavor. 

​For the next few hours, we walked around Irkutsk’s main street, which is pretty whatever, trying to decide what to do. I couldn’t contribute to the conversation because I was so tired. No, I wasn’t just tired, not just that sleepy feeling you get late at night when you’re like oh I could really sleep right now! Not that. I wasn’t just tired, I was exhausted. I wasn’t like oh I need sleep, I was like oh my body is breaking down worse than Trina in “Falsettos” in the one part of “Falsettos” that I completely enjoyed. I was that kind of exhausted that celebrities pretend they have when they end up in the hospital. My everything hurt. I could feel that my heart was tired and was like pleeeease sleeeep dumb person whose body I’m in! But there was no sleep to be had. (No sleep till London in October, I fear. At least not the kind I need.) 

​There was a decent 24-yaca supermarket on the main road that we went to for supplies. Oh I don’t think I’ve shared this yet: Everything that is open 24 hours says on its awning “24 yaca” well it doesn’t say yaca it says the Russian word for hours that pretty much looks like that, and is pronounced chassa. It ends in an ‘a’ only because 24 ends in 4 and you use the ‘a’ ending for numbers ending in 2,3, and 4, and a different ending for ‘1’s and a different ending for numbers ending in numbers 5 and up. ISN’T RUSSIAN FUN. Anyway, in St. Petersburg and Moscow, we would get excited every time we would see a ’24 yaca’ sign thinking it was a minimarket or bodega where we could get a bottle of water, because that seemed like what most of the ’24 yaca’ places were. But guess what, they are mostly banks. THERE ARE SO MANY BANKS, in every city, and they are all 24 yaca! You can’t give me water! But guess what even more? In St. Pete’s and Moscow, the MOST prevalent 24 yaca places were FLOWER SHOPS. Every corner had more all night flower sellers than they had markets, coffee shops, even banks. It was ridiculous! Who is buying all these flowers at 4am?? My god.

Anyway anyway, the supermarket in Irkutsk that we went to had more carrot and yuba (tofu skin) salad, so I got some of that for the next day. Soo yummy. I’m sad I won’t find any more of that for a while. We stocked up on some beans, bread, and peanut butter (yassss finally) and of course waters before searching for a dinner place, kind of early so we could go the hell to sleep. We looked around at a few lackluster menus before deciding on an Italian place called Prego (Prego mille!). We actually weren’t looking for a change from Russian food, but for such a small boring city it was weirdly international and it was super hard to find just a Russian restaurant. In a 20 minute review of the main street, we found a Belgian place, a Japanese, a Chinese, another Japanese, two Italian, an Indian restaurant, 18 ice cream carts, 4 coffee shops, 3 Subways (they’re everywhere, still don’t want it), and one Russian cafeteria that looked suuuper dodgy. At Prego, they had a decent looking green salad (with lettuce! not just cucumber and tomato – though of course they were in it too), and a very good little plate of eggplant caponata. The best part was that the salad came on big pieces of flatbread, lol. My favorite combo! 

So, our time in Irkutsk was pretty tame. A few small-scale meals, a few tourist attractions, a lot of crankiness. We would be back at the end of the week for another afternoon, during which we pretty much just ate and bought more water at the supermarket; I’ll include that meal at the end of my next post. It’s a small town, and people really only go because they need a break on the Trans-Siberian and Irkutsk is the jumping off point (to start negotiations) to get to little villages on Lake Baikal. The next morning, we would leave for one of the most lauded of these villages (and one of the hardest to reach), Olkhon Island. We considered its remoteness at first romantic, promising some solitary, far-from-other-people peace and tranquility and beauty. And with that, I give you my final LOL of this post. 

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​Yay it’s time for our big news! This summer (and some of the fall!), we are taking the incredible sabbatical trip that we’ve been talking about for so long. For years now, we’ve been planning this adventure (well, Husband has), and this summer – THIS FRIDAY! – we finally get to start it. You might have guessed by now that that epic google maps screenshot at the top of the page is a map of our route. Here it is again:

​I knowww. For 3 ½ months, we are taking the Trans Mongolian Railway throughout Russia to Mongolia and China, and then traveling all around China and through the Silk Route and overland back to Western Europe. It’s almost as crazy as how much stuff I’m trying to cram into my backpack! Yes, we are backpacking, and staying at hostels (and lots of yurts in mountains!), which we haven’t done in a long time (or ever in the case of mountain yurts alongside Mongol families) so it’s an adventure in every way.

This Friday, we fly to Helsinki, our last flight until the very end of September, and on Saturday we catch our first of many, many, so many trains, this one to Saint Petersburg, which means that that entire train ride I will be singing the following lyric from “Natasha, Pierre, and The Great Comet of 1812”, which is simultaneously impressive for the very high falsetto from Lucas Steele but also f-ing hilarious for the very high falsetto from Lucas Steele:

Sorry Husband I know that’s going to get RILL annoying rill fast but who could help it! Actually I’m going to be singing a LOT of “The Great Comet” throughout Section 1 of our trip. For instance, after PETERSBUURRRRRG I’ll be imitating Grace McLean’s scary shouty belt of “WELLLL WELLLL WELCOME TO MOSCOW!!!” God I’m so excited I LOVE when musical theatre provides the soundtrack to my whereabouts. (It’s gonna be so fun when we finally go to Buenos Aires.) I’ll also have a lot of “Anastasia” to work with, because I’ma need courage to not desert me but especially because my grandfather just told me literally 3 weeks ago that one of his parents was from Russia so it’s like a journey to the past. Didn’t know! Ya Rooskii!! So our first month, the Russia month, is like go to old country for me. P.S. that’s as good as my Russian is after we’ve been taking it for 2 years in preparation for this trip. I can pretty much just say “Where is the toilet?” and then speak English in a very comical Russian accent I hope they don’t srow zee acid in zeh face.

For the first week of our trip, our cousin Adam is meeting us! So fun! He was one of the OG’s at Weebly, which hosts this very blog [ed. note: not anymore! hello WordPress my new friend], so hopefully he can help me bypass any blocks and post updates! After Petersburg and Moscow, we train on through to Vladimir, Suzdal, Yekaterinburg, and Irkutsk in Russia. Then, we minibus for like a whole day (ahhh where do I peeeeee) to Olkhon Island, which is a pain in the ass to get to but everyone says once you get there it’s so worth it. I’m so excited. I hope it’s not too cold to swim in the lake. After we hypotherm it up, we train to our last stop in Russia, Ulan-Ude, before entering Ulan Bator, Mongolia, WHERE THERE IS A LOVING HUT. By that point in our travels, I will be so excited to find an all-vegan restaurant that I don’t even care that Loving Huts make you swear allegiance to the cult of the Supreme Master before they give you delicious food that all tastes the same no matter what you order.

Once in Mongolia, we will be celebrating the annual national festival of Naadam. Naadam celebrates the “three games of men” – wrestling, horse racing, and archery, which (aside from the horse racing which I am crossing my fingers is non-violent but when is horse racing ever non-violent?) is a hilarious concept to base a festival around. I hope Robin of Loxley shows up for archery and I can yell about how someone split Robin’s arrow in twaaaaain. In Mongolia (I can’t believe I’m going to Mongolia), we are meeting up with our crazier-than-us friend Sivani from Ever the Wayfarer because when you say to the California-based Sivani ‘hey we should hang out again soon’ she says ‘sure I will meet you in Mongolia that would be easiest for me.’

After Mongolia, we finish Section 1 by training to Beijing, where we begin Section 2 – literally all of China. Well I guess not literally all but we have more than 40 days there so we are seeing a shittonne of it. Right now, the only song I can think of to provide the soundtrack is Tori Amos’s “China” which is kind of a downer so if anyone can make some suggestions I definitely need them. (Am I having a total brain fart or are there no China-based musicals? Booo.) We’re visiting Beijing, Shanghai (bunsssss! I want steamed bunssss), Nanxun, Hangzhou, Huangshan, Guilin, Yangshuo, Chengdu (origin (not) of my dad’s Chinese restaurant staple, Chengdu triple delight!), Xi’an, and then through the western border via Urumqi and Kashgar. I’m gonna see giant pandas!! And so much other stuff. A lot of stuff. It’s hard to wrap my head around anything past Moscow right now but hopefully I will figure out a way to blog while in China or at least very soon after we leave so I can share everything we do.

We exit China into Kyrgyzstan, which honestly I didn’t know was a real place until we decided to go there. We have a lot of hikes and a lotttt of horseback riding in Kyrgyzstan because that is how they get from place to place, and no matter how much I don’t want to do that, you have to in order to visit this country [ed. note: you don’t! we got around that! we walked!]. The beautiful, remote places we will get to should make it worth it. After almost 2 weeks in Kyrgs, we bus (peeee???) into Kazakhstan, which we are really excited about because we are going to make sooooo maaaaany Boooooraaaat jooooookes. They will hate us but man alive is that going to be hilarious just to the two of us. Chinqui!

After Kazakhstan, we will be going to Uzbekistan, so by this point our trip is a huge challenge for Herman Cain to talk about. We see all the things (it’s not until SEPTEMBER I can’t fit the details in my brain just yet) before returning to Moscow via Volgograd to catch the train to Kiev, Ukraine. We are going to visit Chernobyl when there, which seems a little scary because of radioactivity but we decided to do it because who knows how much longer the planet has left anyway. From Kiev, we take the train to Warsaw, Poland, which I am really excited about because I’ve never been to Poland and that’s where the other half of my paternal ancestors are from (the maternals are all eye-tals it’s a spicy meataball! I’m so good at accents of my people). More of I go to old country! Finally, after Poland, we take our 500th and final train (at least of this trip) to Berlin, Germany, one of our favorite cities in the world, where Husband and I got engaged and the vegan food is beyond belief. Even though we won’t be there for three and a half months, I already know what I’m ordering from that all-vegan French bakery. Oh and vegan doner kebab! I’m going to be hungry. I have so many nuts and protein bars in my backpack.

From Berlin, we fly back to London, where we will probably have to be reacclimated to normal life like astronauts when they come back from space except hopefully we will have gotten better, not worse, at walking.

Jeez I’m tired just talking about everything we’re going to do! It’s going to be quite a challenge for me considering I’ll be doing without my four favorite things in the world (sleep, television, gyms, green smoothies with Vega) but I think I will be better for it. (Ha you thought I was going to say theatre but we already have amazing tickets for the opera and the ballet in the next two weeks dance dance dance emojis!)

I know it’s kind of scary to be going to some of these places at this turbulent time. And I realize how, um, awkward it is to be going to Russia when their involvement in the election is the top issue right now (and should be until it’s resolved). But as we learned in the last month, it’s just as safe, or not safe, in London as it is anywhere we could go. We’re all at risk of some sort as soon as we get out of bed each day, but we can’t let that fear dictate how we live our lives, because a sheltered unexamined life is easily wasted (although there is a good Broadway musical song extolling its virtues hello “Wicked” shoutout). I know that’s high talk coming from me, since I am the biggest scaredycat and worrywart (#scaredywortworrycat) out there, but I want to travel and I want to have fun and see the whole world and I can’t do that from my couch, as much as I love couch. You have to do stuff, is what I’m saying, and live your life without fear of the worst possible outcome, because all the other outcomes are pretty great, and regardless I think we’re all in some version of The Matrix anyway.

But on that note, I’m not going to be writing about any political issues or anything controversial in places like Russia and China, at least not while I’m in their jurisdiction. As outspoken and political as I am, it would be beyond stupid to risk anything in countries whose freedom of speech laws are more restrictive than I’m used to.

I’m not sure about the internet connection I’ll have over the next 3 ½ months, and when I do have internet, I’m not sure which sites will be blocked (except for in China, where I know everything is blocked). I’ll do my best to blog as much as I can, so make sure to keep checking back on the home page for updates (that’s the best way, because I know facebook and twitter updates will be hard if not impossible, and Weebly doesn’t have a program for sending emails to subscribers when new posts are up (dammit Adam!)).

So that’s the big exciting news! What an adventure it will be! Be sure to follow along. And if you have been to any of the places we are going to, please comment or email (link at top) with any tips, advice, and recommendations you have! Da svidanyaaaaa!