VeganMOFO Veganizing "Friends": Rachel's English Trifleby Randi / September 12, 2013
My piece!
Yom Kippur, or the Day of Atonement, is the most sacred and important of all the Jewish holidays. You fast from sundown to sundown (so, a day) and pray, repent, atone, and hope that your past sins are forgiven. And then, if you are like 99% of Jews, you and your relatives break the fast with a smoked fish and lox platter from the local Jewish deli. So, to recap what we’ve learned the past few weeks, Rosh Hashanah:apples::Yom Kippur:bagels.
The bagel part is fine, but the huge platter of fish, not so much. I’ll usually make a hummus or two to add to the mix, and some kind of dessert. This year, I decided to up my game in the dessert area and finally make a recipe I’ve literally had saved for 3 years – VeganDad’s chocolate cinnamon babka. I mean, you don’t get any more Jewish than babka. Why haven’t I made this until now, I wondered? Everyone loves a babka! And chocolate and cinnamon combines the best types. Remember when Jerry & Elaine lost the famous chocolate babka?
The bagel part is fine, but the huge platter of fish, not so much. I’ll usually make a hummus or two to add to the mix, and some kind of dessert. This year, I decided to up my game in the dessert area and finally make a recipe I’ve literally had saved for 3 years – VeganDad’s chocolate cinnamon babka. I mean, you don’t get any more Jewish than babka. Why haven’t I made this until now, I wondered? Everyone loves a babka! And chocolate and cinnamon combines the best types. Remember when Jerry & Elaine lost the famous chocolate babka?
Poor customers of that bakery, having to choose between chocolate and cinnamon. As Joey Tribbiani, my usual source of inspiration, would say, “Put those hands together!”* Let’s do it!
Yeahh this yeast is jumping now!
Then I creamed sugar and Earth Balance (which I didn’t really measure; I just spooned it 6 times and figured it was close to 6 tablespoons), added yogurt, vanilla, the yeast, and then the flour. So, the recipe calls for 15 oz. of flour, which is basically 2 cups, right? I had to use nearly 5 cups and it was still sticky. With only 15 oz., it was pretty liquidy. Maybe I did something wrong, we’ll see. This is all very dramatic.
Then I kneaded kneaded kneeeeaded, ‘cleaned’ the mixing bowl, oiled it, and dropped the ball o’ dough in there. It says to let it sit, covered, for 2 hours, but I was out for 4. I returned to find it puffing nicely in the bowl. 
The best stuff on earth
So, next you roll this up length-wise, as tightly as you can. This is where I not only had trouble but didn’t read the instructions properly. I rolled pretty well (it’s a lot of dough here), but then you are supposed to cut it in half length-wise. Like, exposing chocolate. I cut it in half width-wise, creating two little stumpy arms. Oh well, it’ll taste the same (if you close your eyes*) no matter how you do it.
My stumpy twist
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I strayed from the recipe somewhat, as I am wont to do, so I’ll splain what I did. I started by warming up some almond milk and adding the yeast. (The recipe calls for 2T of instant yeast, but I had only the packets that are like 2 1/4 t or something. Whatever…we’ll see what happens.) But it didn’t get foamy! I was freaking out. Was it because I used almond milk instead of soy, as the directions said? Was it because my milk was unsweetened? Ahhh! Being somewhat yeast-fearing, I threw it out and started again. This time, I used warm water instead. I have only ever testfoamed yeast + water + sugar, so I stuck with what I know, and it properly Hulked out.
Punch punch punch!
Next, I made the filling. You melt chocolate, margarine, and cinnamon together, then spread it on a parchment paper-lined baking sheet and stick it in the fridge till firm. Once it is firm, roll out your dough into a big rectangle, like 2 feet long, a foot and a 1/2 wide, something like that, then place the chocolate layer right on top, in as many pieces as it takes.
Chocolate layer on top of the rolled-out dough
Rolling with the homies
So, because I did it wrong, my roll was short & stout like a teapot. But I kind of preferred it this way. Can you imagine how long it would have been the right way? And this way is more fun to pull apart.
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So, once you twist it, you let it sit and rise again for like 1.5 hours. I knowww. It’s probably worth it though. Important yeasting action happening. You probably want real directions, huh? (I’ll use what I did.)
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INGREDIENTS:
Dough:
Filling:
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DIRECTIONS:
Filling:
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ASSEMBLY:
Roll out your dough into a rectangle, about 2′ x 1.5′. Place the chocolate layer right on top of the dough, finagling to cover the whole square. Then, tightly roll the dough lengthwise. Then, cut it in half lengthwise – so the chocolate insides are exposed. And then twist the two halves together. Let this twist sit for 1.5 hours on a parchment-covered baking sheet. Then, bake for 25 minutes at 350°.
Yes, I am recommending that you cut it lengthwise, and not stumpily like I did. My outside browned really nicely, but it was still nearly raw inside. So, that’s the whole point of the long skinny cut – easier baking. I mean, when my version puffed up into a freaking cube, I knew the inside couldn’t be cooked.
Roll out your dough into a rectangle, about 2′ x 1.5′. Place the chocolate layer right on top of the dough, finagling to cover the whole square. Then, tightly roll the dough lengthwise. Then, cut it in half lengthwise – so the chocolate insides are exposed. And then twist the two halves together. Let this twist sit for 1.5 hours on a parchment-covered baking sheet. Then, bake for 25 minutes at 350°.
Yes, I am recommending that you cut it lengthwise, and not stumpily like I did. My outside browned really nicely, but it was still nearly raw inside. So, that’s the whole point of the long skinny cut – easier baking. I mean, when my version puffed up into a freaking cube, I knew the inside couldn’t be cooked.
That’s a huge bitch
It’s pretty great looking though. And yeah, it is DELICIOUS. I definitely recommend making it. But you’ll have an easier time if you cut it long-ways, and not how I did. I mean, this thing is never going to be done cooking. It is bigger than me. But it’s yummy!
*Remember, guess the source/comment on the things that are starred and you will be entered into my big MoFo giveaway! Details tomorrow!
From this post: What was Joey referring to when he said ‘Put those hands together’? And what is the source of the lyrics above the stumpy twist picture?
Related Posts
New Orleans Inspirations: The Fried Bread Pudding Po’ Boy
Welcome, my little bunnies, to my post about – without a doubt – the most gluttonous, glutenous thing I will make and eat probably EVER.
We are going to have to listen to this while we work, because it’s the only sound I can think of that properly captures both how ridiculous this is and how my friend and I felt when we didn’t have to eat any more of it.
If you read my New Orleans general food guide, you know that during our epic eating week I came across this hilarious, unbelievable, obviously non-vegan gem of a food item that apparently people actually eat:
A fried bread pudding po’boy. That means people have eaten a pile of bread pudding used as sandwich filling on a French baguette. And what’s fried? Is it the bread pudding hunk that is fried into a patty then placed on the bread? Is the pudding placed on the bread as is, and then the whole baguette is fried? ARE BOTH THE PUDDING AND THE SANDWICH FRIED? Yes. Yes, is being my answer. Easy question. Let’s make this!
FRIED BREAD PUDDING PO’ BOY
PART 1 – THE BREAD PUDDING
First, we make the bread pudding. This turned out to be a delicious recipe and you should definitely make it, even if you don’t have the strength to move on to part 2. I used Ezekiel’s Cinnamon Raisin bread, which was invented for the sole purpose of using in bread pudding, but you can use any bread really. I’d add a teaspoon of cinnamon if you use regular bread, because who doesn’t want cinnamon bread pudding?
First, we make the bread pudding. This turned out to be a delicious recipe and you should definitely make it, even if you don’t have the strength to move on to part 2. I used Ezekiel’s Cinnamon Raisin bread, which was invented for the sole purpose of using in bread pudding, but you can use any bread really. I’d add a teaspoon of cinnamon if you use regular bread, because who doesn’t want cinnamon bread pudding?
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Ingredients:
Directions:
I believe this is what’s called raw food? |
LEANING TOWER OF BREADDDD 
This is what’s left of the 6 pound bag of besan I bought on Amazon 
Sugared 
Not raw food |
PART 2: THE VANILLA SAUCE
I don’t see how the restaurant’s prize-winning po’ boy would have won anything without a really good sauce.
I don’t see how the restaurant’s prize-winning po’ boy would have won anything without a really good sauce.
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Ingredients:
Directions:
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“Hey there pudding I’m coming for you! Yayyyy!” |
Part 3: THE FRYING AND THE ASSEMBLING
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Ingredients:
Directions:
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so many hand pictures 
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OBVIOUSLY, if you own a personal deep fryer, drop that entire sandwich into that bad boy. Oh man, I DARE ANY OF YOU TO DO THAT. Please tell me about it if you do and we’ll post pictures.
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Oh yes add peanut butter to it, by all means |
There you have it, America.
Nutty Protein-Packed Homemade Granola! So Easy!
How many of you bake during the winter months just to make the house warmer? Here in London, it’s more of a necessity than a quirky activity. They didn’t get the memo on windows here so there’s like a good centimeter of separation between windows and frames. Cold air blows in all the time and you’re like, man alive turn on the oven or something.
But cookies? Those jerks only take 10 minutes or less in the oven. PASS! Cakes? Who am I making cakes for? Muffins are just bread with sugar and I’d rather eat my bread without sugar (and with hummus). Kale chips? Am I the only vegan who prefers kale raw (or any other way) to chippified? What can I make that’s feasible and that takes a long time so I have maximum oven usage? GRANOLA!
But cookies? Those jerks only take 10 minutes or less in the oven. PASS! Cakes? Who am I making cakes for? Muffins are just bread with sugar and I’d rather eat my bread without sugar (and with hummus). Kale chips? Am I the only vegan who prefers kale raw (or any other way) to chippified? What can I make that’s feasible and that takes a long time so I have maximum oven usage? GRANOLA!
Yes, granola is the easiest, best way to run your oven for at least an hour. Also, you actually want to eat the final product. And it’s healthy! This version I made uses nut butters as its main wet ingredient, and it works great as a binder. Add chia seeds, hemp seeds, and protein powder, you’ve got a power-giving snack that’s perfect for any time of day. I liked using unflavored rice protein in this recipe, mostly because it is too pasty to use in my smoothies. Also, I used puffed millet as my cereal. It’s great because the puffs are teeny tiny, almost like puffed quinoa. So just make sure you choose a cereal that’s on the small side. You don’t want huge puffed buckwheat or something that’s going to be significantly bigger than an oat.
Ingredients on the small side plus a superb wet ingredient mix based in nut butter will ensure that you get lots of big crunchy clusters instead of sad granola-flavored crumbs. As with all granola recipes, this is really more of a guide that you can play around with to suit to your preferences. Add chocolate chips! Or cocoa powder! Or use chocolate-hazelnut spread! Or add something non-chocolate. But that seems like a move in the wrong direction.
Ingredients on the small side plus a superb wet ingredient mix based in nut butter will ensure that you get lots of big crunchy clusters instead of sad granola-flavored crumbs. As with all granola recipes, this is really more of a guide that you can play around with to suit to your preferences. Add chocolate chips! Or cocoa powder! Or use chocolate-hazelnut spread! Or add something non-chocolate. But that seems like a move in the wrong direction.
POWER PUNCH GRANOLA
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I love mixing different nut butters with date syrup for the main binder. Date syrup adds a dark, deep flavor that you don’t get when you use regular liquid sweeteners alone. Try half the amount of molasses if you don’t have date syrup.
Ingredients:
Directions:
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Nut butter plus syrups. So pretty 
It’s like an add for superfoods! 
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It’s a veritable thing-with-a-lot-of-clusters-that-I’ve-decided-against-saying-because-I’m-a-lady!
