I Can’t Even Deal With: “Garage Sale Mystery” on TV

It’s Theatre Thursday! Today we are talking about “The Humans”, which is at London’s Hampstead Theatre until October 13.
As summer plays close and the new season slowly gets into gear, London’s drama scene got a much needed infusion of American greatness with the Broadway transfer of “The Humans”. Stephen Karam’s 2015 work about an ordinary American family and the hardships they face individually and together comes to London’s Hampstead Theatre with its Broadway cast intact, along with my favorite Broadway director-that-I-once-saw-give-one-of-the-best-acting-performances-ever-in-The-Normal-Heart-but-that’s-neither-here-nor-there, Joe Mantello, still at the helm. Winner of the 2016 Tony Award for Best Play, “The Humans” seems like the basic story of a typical family at first, but its brilliance lies in nuance and individual interpretation that will have you contemplating it endlessly.​

​If you are in London and might be seeing it before it closes next month, bookmark this page and read it post-show because there’s gonna be hella spoilers coming. 

The play tells the story of the Blake family, from Scranton, Pa., coming together to celebrate Thanksgiving amid a snowstorm at their daughter Brigid’s new Chinatown NYC hovel. You have the father Erik (Reed Birney, who we had just seen days before in his episodes of ‘The Americans’, which we’ve now finished and can’t stop talking about so hit me up if you want in on our support group), the mother Deirdre (Jayne Houdyshell, always a goddamn pleasure), the grandmother Momo (Lauren Klein, who does so much with so little), the adult daughters Aimee (Cassie Beck, so perfectly capturing every nice but kind of depressed girl I know) and Brigid (Sarah Steele, so perfectly capturing every self-involved and jappy as hell non-jew I’ve ever known), and Brigid’s boyfriend Richard (Arian Moayad, trying to keep the peace between a family he’s just meeting and sooo nailing that awkward ass-kissing that you have to do while trying to keep conversation smooth). 

Brigid and Richard have just moved into this dumpy basement apartment which yes has two levels which is great in a city like New York, but it also has no windows except the one with bars over it that opens onto the smoky alleyway so already it is my nightmare apartment. To make me even more anxious about their living situation, their upstairs neighbor is straight out of those “funny” Upstairs Neighbors videos that imagine them as actively trying to make as much noise as possible, doing things like rolling bowling balls around and moving furniture in the middle of the night. IT’S TRUE WHY ARE THEY ALL SO FORKING LOUD. And they all stomp. Anyway, every once in a while Brigid and Richard’s new neighbor will create some crazy loud BANG. They’re okay with it, trying to make the best of the situation, but Erik is shaken to his core with every sporadic bang or crash from upstairs. 

As we meet the family, we quickly learn all their shortcomings and issues through effective and efficient dialogue. Brigid, self-involved as she is, has forgotten to tell her parents about the two-story situation, which, given that Momo is in a wheelchair (and suffering from late-stage dementia), is quite the oversight. God she was S0 many people I know. Aimee, meanwhile, is falling apart at the seams, having just gotten dumped by her long-term partner and dealing with really horrible ulcerative colitis. Her ‘win-sided phin call’, as Gil Faizon and George St. Geegland would call it, to her ex-girlfriend is heart-breaking, as is the reaction of her father, secretly within earshot, who couldn’t do anything to help his daughter. Letting intimate moments like this breathe is what makes this play’s version of this family so special.

Although Jayne Houdyshell is the epitome of warmth, the girls tend to be harder on their mother than they are on their father, who they dote on. They love everything about Erik, but they constantly make fun of Deirdre, from her ridiculous emails to her charity work to her dedication to religion. It seems a little harmless and a little unfair at the same time, although it provides for a lot of great comedy that rings so true to everyone’s family. Like how Deirdre sends Aimee every single tragic LGBT news story simply because she is a lesbian, and so Brigid tells her mom, “You don’t have to text her every time a lesbian kills herself!” They also make fun of her forwarded emails, the kind with 12 different kinds of font used, which we all know so well. Deirdre gives it back though, like telling off the depressed Aimee, when she brings up her interest in superfoods, “If you’re so miserable why are you trying to live forever?” Loves it. The way they paint these characters with such an accurate, familiar brush is genius, letting us immediately identify with so many aspects so that we are invested in their problems. 

And the problems become apparent. There are the obvious sort like Brigid’s subpar home, Aimee’s mental and physical health, Momo’s dementia. Then there’s the fact that both daughters are failing professionally, through no real fault of their own, in a harsh specific economy and a hard general world. Like every struggling middle class family, the parents are having trouble at work too, with Deirdre getting passed over for promotions simply due to her age (and probably gender), while Erik’s failings are the only ones attached to actual responsibility. When the demons haunting him come out to the family, it’s shocking, since we’ve seen him as the stalwart, upstanding member of this clan that the girls idolize. That he alone is responsible for hurting his family and their future the way he has changes the easygoing dynamic and leaves everyone unsure of how to proceed in their usual way. 

And, as the night progresses, Erik’s reaction to the noise gets more extreme, as does his seeming skittishness about everything, from lights going out to pans falling off tables. This is where the play is not just a family drama but is also kind of a thriller. Erik’s terror at things  going bump in the night, and the unexplained reasons for them, make it seem like at any moment an alien predator will pop out and attack, and often had me holding my breath. And it’s why a lot of people think that he dies at the end, when he goes through the hallway that resembles a tunnel of the only visible light. But while I’m not going to tell anyone their interpretation of plays is wrong, I didn’t think he died. I think that his terror and his reactions to the supernatural-seeming elements were there to show that none of that is as scary as facing your own problems, the messes you’ve created in reality. The scary neighbor who freaked him out was just doing laundry, proving that the things that can terrify you in the dark are nothing compared to dealing with your reality when things you’ve done wrong come to light. What he did and what he has to contend with now are much scarier that whatever could have caused those bangs or crashes in the apartment, and that’s the realization that elevates this work from a typical but great family drama to a provocative, intriguing masterpiece.

INFORMATION
“The Humans” is playing at London’s Hampstead Theatre until October 13. It is a 90 minute one act. 

STAGE DOOR
The Hampstead’s stage door situation is more like a ‘everyone convene in the lobby!’ situation. The cast is very friendly although I was too embarrassed to talk to everyone or ask for pictures because I’m a weirdo. 

​It’s Theatre Thursday! Today’s show is Antony & Cleopatra, at London’s National Theatre until January 19.
 
Does anyone else always forget that Billy Shakes wrote plays about historical figures that weren’t kings of England? Well, I honestly forgot that Shakespeare wrote a play about Mark Antony and Cleopatra and their weird manipulative love that drove Rome to war and them to their deaths. I was too busy reading the fun ones. But despite my ignorance of this play, and despite the fact that this production of Antony & Cleopatra clocks in at 3 ½ hours with only one intermission (whereas The Inheritance Part 1 ​is (10 minutes) shorter and has two), we had to see the big f-ing thing because it stars RALPH FIENNES! That’s pronounced ‘rafe’, to rhyme with ‘the English paaaaaaaaatient’, which if you are like me you hear Billy Crystal singing every time anyone mentions Ralph Fiennes. Seeing him onstage for hours, let’s just say I sang this Oscar opening number (in my head) a whole heck of a lot. Anyway, with Ralph playing Mark Antony, and with Tony-winner Sophie Okonedo as Cleopatra, this production seemed like a must-see. Turns out, it’s more of a ‘see if you have the time but don’t run or risk injury getting there’ kinda thing. 

 You may think you know all there is to know about Cleopatra because of what, the Liz Taylor movie? Did you know that Julius Caesar was her second husband, and after she died, she had a whoooole thing with Mark Antony, who became ruler of Rome after he and his friends killed Caesar’s assassins? Man alive how OLD were these people? and isn’t it weird for Cleo to be like ‘erma erma you killed the guys who killed my love, so now I love you!’ it’s weird. Anyway we’ll get into the plot. It was worth the trip to see Ralph and Sophie, who are individually great but together they are mmm not so great. If early viewers of the Moulin Rouge! musical are to be believed, Ralph and Sophie are the Shakespeare equivalent of Aaron Tveit and Karen Olivo: Each does a great job, and you can’t think of who you’d replace, but the show would be better if one of them were replaced because together they have zeeeero chemistry. It’s like that. Actually it’s not because I’d replace Ralph as much as I love him. Sophie as Cleopatra is the fireball emoji. I needed a little bit of time to warm up to Sophie’s performance, but after that she was astounding – histrionic and unstable but captivating. Ralph seems miscast as her lover, because Cleopatra and Antony should be fiery, and if they don’t have serious chemistry, what on earth are they risking the future of the republic and of Egypt for? I mean he had more chemistry with Jennifer Lopez in “Maid in Manhattan”. Honestly, I thought at first that it was about their age difference, with Ralph too old to be all lusty with the younger Okonedo, whom I assumed was in her 30s even though she was nominated for an Oscar for Hotel Rwanda and that was like decades ago. Um, she is FIFTY! And he is 56. So they are like the same age. Damn, Sophie, r u magicked? But even though they are IRL about the same age, they didn’t seem it and they just didn’t vibe together. 

Oh by the way Ralph’s real name is Ralph Nathaniel Twisleton-Wykeham-Fiennes.
 
So this play takes place after Julius Caesar is assassinated and his assassins are killed. It would be fun for you to read Billy’s Julius Caesar first and then see this! Remember how much we loved that? (Probably my best review ever.) Mark Antony rules Rome as part of the triumvirate, or three-men-ate, instituted after Caesar’s death, so he is in power alongside Lepidus (who isn’t really important; I think he was tired and was napping) and Octavius. They sometimes call him Octavius, and sometimes Caesar (Julius Caesar was his great-uncle and he is his adopted son and heir, not that they tell you this in the play), but never the most well known of his names: Augustus, as in the first emperor of Rome. Women in the bathroom line thought that it was regular Caesar, not knowing there were several people who used that name. Ugh! Not saying we should cater to idiots but wouldn’t things have been clearer calling him Augustus? I guess it gives away the ending but can you spoil ancient history?
 
Anyway the triumvirate is ruling Rome and taking names but they’re pissed at Mark Antony because he is shirking his duties and living in up in Egypt with his lover Cleopatra, and transforming in his men’s opinions into a ‘strumpet’s fool’. Rude. We meet Cleopatra’s entourage and see how she seems fun but is terrifying too, and we see Antony completely immersed in resort life, wearing loose linen pants and shirts that show too much chest hair. Cleopatra and Antony make funny jokes about how much his wife Fulvia sucks, and it’s so funny, but then news arrives that Fulvia has died, and so they make more jokes about how great that is! Mah wife! She dead! They don’t come across as the most sympathetic of characters (not that anyone thought they would be).
 
Antony is happily drunk and swimming all day in the sun, but Octavius, tired of his nonsense, calls him back to Rome because their thrupledom is threatened by pirates, and not the fun Johnny Depp kind. In an attempt to heal the rift between the two leaders, Octavius’s general Agrippa (played by a woman who spoke in a really annoying way, I’m sorry) suggests that Antony, newly single heyoooo, marry Octavius’s sister Octavia, who is quiet and blonde, so, perfect. I like that they gave Antony literally a hot minute to mourn before marrying this old fart off onto a young lady whose parents were not too creative with the names. But Antony and Octavius shake hands at their amazing negotiation of the female property and all seems to be well. Except Antony’s right hand man Enobarbus (now his parents were creative) notes that this prim blonde lady will not be enough for Antony since he loves the wildly, mm, interesting Cleopatra. Enobarbus proclaims “other women cloy the appetites they feed, but she makes hungry where most she satisfies”, which sounds dirty. Cleopatra hears of the marriage and blames the messenger for the news, which is like exactly what Shakespeare told you NOT to do. That’s Billy’s Rule #1! But everyone assures her that Octavia is unattractive and boring and, most importantly, short, which Sophie’s Cleopatra uses to hilarious effect in the one scene that made me laugh out loud.
 
Antony and Octavius go to one of the pirates on his SUBMARINE (more on that below) and they make a truce, and then they all have a raucous drunken party which is my nightmare to even watch, and people play loud drums and you’re like how many hours of this until the interval’, but then after they leave, Octavius and Lepidus decide to break the truce and wage war against the submarine pirate. Antony is not happy, and it does seem like kind of a dick move. So thus begins the war between Antony and Octavius. Cleopatra ‘helps’ Antony, but then they just flee and leave all his troops to die, which is also a dick move. No one in this play comes off too well.
 
So, A and C are back in Egypt trying to live large while war is coming, and they are sooo toxic together. They may love each other but they also seem to really hate each other and use their love as weapons. It’s not cute for them. The night before a big battle on land, Enobarbus deserts Antony and joins forces with Octavius, for reasons incredibly unclear. This production tried to make it look like he was having a thang with Agrippa, since here she was a woman, but it’s not supported by the text that he would have done it for her so like, why. Antony loses the battle and, like a typical white man burdened with superfragile masculinity, he blames Cleopatra. “This foul Egyptian hath betrayed me!” he shouts, because it’s easier for him/men to condemn women than take responsibility for being shitty and losing battles. He announces he will kill her (still so typical, ya basic), so Cleopatra breaks Shakespeare Rule #2 and decides to fake her own death to make him love her again. Then she’ll pull a Ross at his funeral and come out of the bedroom and be like “I knew you loved me! I’m still alive!” Basic. Of course, Antony hears that she is dead and decides to kill himself, but he’s an asshole so he orders his soldier to do it. The soldier is so upset by this that the soldier decides to kill himself instead, and Antony is like wow what a brave kid I just led to suicide, I should be that brave, oh me, and so he tries to kill himself but it doesn’t take right away. Cleopatra eventually does her famous snake dance in her monument, but not before she kisses one of her ladies in waiting who *dies immediately*, from lesbianism???
 
Needless to say, there’s some real plot going on. Sure most of Shakespeare’s histories are masterpieces, but is this? I hate everyone in it. And it’s weird to see so much liberty taken with facts. And it was extra weird in that regard to see most of the cast in modern garb in a directorial attempt to make the story relevant to today, when it’s freaking about CLEOPATRA. I’m cool with placing older works in different locations and/or eras, but I always find it strange to do that when the characters are based on real historical figures. Like they didn’t have machine guns in the Battle of Actium, guys. But the modern look did allow for the two best parts of this production: Sophie’s costumes and the set design. The rest of the cast’s costumes overall were just fine, so it seemed clear that all the money and creative vision was spent on draping Cleopatra in the most gorgeous clothes onstage this year, and it paid off. Man alive were they amazing! I really wanted to shout WHAT YASSS every time she entered a scene in a new incredible flowing satin gown with built-in cape. She had so many built-in capes! Who is she, David Rose???
 
But the most amazing part of the show was the set. Cleopatra’s palace was shown from the back where they lounged around a gorgeous three-section pool, filled with water that various cast members fell into at times (on purpose!). It looked like a fancy hotel in Morocco or something, beautifully tiled and glittering in the light. I think I actually gasped when that set miraculously fell under the cavernous stage and up from the underground came an enormous submarine. And I mean freaking enormous. Where are they storing these massive sets! I can’t fathom the engineering genius that allows for the rapid transition between these truly magnificent pieces. Cleopatra’s triangular monument was also impressively built, and the lighting along with it really nailed Egypt’s brutal sun. I was less enthused about the various triumvirs offices, made to look like modern government offices with a hint of evil billionaire lairs, but that’s mostly due to my aversion to the modernization of the piece in that regard. It’s weird seeing Octavius Caesar do his government work in a room that looks like it has the buttons for an evil billionaire’s illegal nukes while we watch multiple screens there just for their own sake.
 
So, yeah, the story is not put forth as compellingly as the visuals, sadly, and I found myself wishing the performances and plot could match the incredible magic of the set. But it was great to see Sophie and Ralph live (that’s long-i ‘live’ like in person; they die) and I’m truly obsessed with the set design, so all in all it was worth seeing.
 
INFORMATION
The program is ATROCIOUS. Actors have headshots for a reason! Use them! What kind of program doesn’t have the pictures and names next to each other? I’m so mad, and as I learned from the show, I should blame a woman for this.
 
The National Theatre continues to boggle the mind re its staffing decisions. No ushers or managers or staff of any sort can be found at any level of the theatre, outside the main entrance (what, 8 flights of stairs down?) and outside of bartenders, who are too swamped to deal with non-alcohol related questions. It’s really despicable, that if you have someone recording the show – or someone who needs medical attention – there’s no one to be found. They almost deserve to have their show recorded.