Traveling Through Kyrgyzstan, Part 2: Ooh This is Me I'm Having Fun!by Randi / October 10, 2017
Now that our time in yurts is over (forever?!), I could fully relax (well I still had to worry about bathroom breaks) and enjoy the rest of our journey around Kyrgyzstan. This country kept surprising me! The people were nice, the food was plentiful, the watermelon was given to me, the roads were in existence. Most of all, the landscape kept enthralling us with its extremely varied beauty. We still had a few more days driving with Sacha around Lake Issyk Kul and in small villages and towns before we landed in Bishkek, the big city capital. I liked the activities almost as much as I liked the fact that we had activities, but I started to get sick of the little villages. (Literally.) Hence my completely shocking personal revelation mentioned in the title.
Catch up on the previous Kyrgyzstan posts!
Crossing the Torugart Pass; Tash Rabat
Part 1: Back in the Yurt Camps
Part 2: Issyk Kul and Kyzart Village
Crossing the Torugart Pass; Tash Rabat
Part 1: Back in the Yurt Camps
Part 2: Issyk Kul and Kyzart Village
Snow capped mountains never get old
Day 5
“Everything’s coming up (roses?)”
Our lovely be-gardened guest house in Tamga village continued delighting us on this new day, with a lovely breakfast in the lovely little dining space surrounded by the beautiful flowers and tons and tons of…bees. Bees? Bees. I guess with flowers come bees. We had forgotten this since bees are super endangered everywhere else in the world save for this garden, apparently. I had oatmeal and watermelon and apples for breakfast so it was a great start, aside from the bees.
“Everything’s coming up (roses?)”
Our lovely be-gardened guest house in Tamga village continued delighting us on this new day, with a lovely breakfast in the lovely little dining space surrounded by the beautiful flowers and tons and tons of…bees. Bees? Bees. I guess with flowers come bees. We had forgotten this since bees are super endangered everywhere else in the world save for this garden, apparently. I had oatmeal and watermelon and apples for breakfast so it was a great start, aside from the bees.
We set off on our drive, stopping shortly again at the lake shore for a few minutes just to take more pictures and enjoy the view for a little longer and so I could pee in the most picturesque outdoor pop-a-squat location yet. You’re welcome.
We drove through a valley called Jeti Oguz, which is famous for its enormous cliff-face stretch of the same name, which means Seven Bulls. The cliff face is of dark reddish brown bumpies that symbolize “furious bulls” standing together. I am a taurus; is that the bull one? If so I would like to be called Furious Bull from now on. If not I don’t care astrology is dumb as a trump.
furious bulls
The plan was to continue our eventual complete loop around Issyk Kul Lake by heading to our next stop of Karakol, but we had a surprise stop at the most amazing geo park (eco park? both). Seriously, it was a surprise to us at least, because the itinerary for today pretty much just said ‘drive to karakol’. So unforch that means I don’t know what this geopark was called (I’ve been trying to find it online! Maybe it existed just for us like a Brigadoon situation OMG IS KELLI O’HARA GOING TO SING WHEN I’M THERE??? oh no chill out this already happened and she didn’t, time doesn’t work like that no matter what McConaughey says (just kidding I totally believe him). The whole big area is Jeti Oguz and it might just be the resort or park or the same name but I can’t confirm.
For a few hours we drove along (and across!) the most beautiful somehow jade-colored rapids, up and around the rockiest of paths (I almost didn’t care because it was so beautiful but man alive that was some shaking) and hills and the scariest little bridges across the river rapids. Those bridges, man alive, I saw the first and was like ‘who would be dumb enough to walk across that little plank of a bridge!’ and then we DROVE across it, across ALL of them, in an SUV.
taken from a rickety little plank bridge erma erma erma
This valleypark was enormous! There’s security at the entrance (I guess it works because the whole thing is surrounded by mountains that sneakers can’t drive down so) and then you can just drive and hike for miles and miles and hours and hours like we did, all along this insane colored water. I know it doesn’t look amazing in the pictures (no filters!) but it was like pure jade and so incredibly beeyoot.
After we drove through most of this amazing valley, Sacha parked the car in a clearing and was like ‘there’s a waterfall about 40 minutes hike that way’ he literally just nodded his head upwards. That way just meant ‘up’ the mountain. And he said we should go check it out. We were hey so how do we find it exactly, like how much upping and in what part of the ENDLESS MOUNTAINS AROUND US ARE WE TALKING. He pointed to a person on a horse about halfway up the mountain and was like ‘they’re going to the waterfall so you can follow the path they are taking.’ Guys this was not helpful. The horse was like already a kilometer up the mountain and we couldn’t tell how he got to that point or what came next. We started up the mountain and the ‘trail’ was pretty much ‘do you see a way you can go that will let you continue your journey? does it seem a little ridiculous but less ridiculous than the other options you observe? follow that one!’ It was scary! Thank god Z was a boy scout because he could tell MUCH better than I could which fork prongs (tines?) were probably the right ones. The scary trail (or lack thereof) put me in a mood something terrible. AND of course I kept skidding the whole time because it was gravelly!
Finally, after lots of treacherous rocky crossings and tree branches that gave way when I tried to grasp them, we found the waterfall. IT WAS FINE.
“just go up” “okay, monster man”
who dat ninja
view from our waterfall trek
So apart from the skidding and the constant fear of tumbling down the mountain because of the tiny little narrow not-trails, this whole geo park majig was amazing! It’s so beautiful and so fun. I wish I knew its name.
I couldn’t know it betterrrrrr if I knew its name! (anyone?)
Because we had to enter (with tickets I think) at the entry point (you don’t say), we had to drive allll the way back through the valley and across the rapids and over the bridges and through the woods in order to leave. Haha ‘had to’ like it wasn’t such a treat to see it all again. We continued our drive towards Karakol in order to reach that town by lunchtime. I was sooo pumped for lunch because, are you ready for this? You know the website (and super useful app) HappyCow that I talk about all the time? If you don’t know, it tells you what restaurants near you (everywhere in the world) have vegan options. It’s magic (no it’s crowdsourced so if you find something incorrect it’s on you to fix it). Well, the ONLY HappyCow listing for ALL of Kyrgyzstan that wasn’t in Bishkek (the big fancy capital) was in Karakol! I was so so excited. We found the place, called The Fat Cat Cafe, sat down and looked at the menus and…there was not one thing veg on it. Well there was a grilled cheese for vegetarians CAN YOU SEE HOW HARD I’M ROLLING MY EYES? I asked the worker ‘hey so I was told that you had vegan food?’ and the woman said “Oh yes I can make you lentil soup if you give me like a half hour, 45 minutes? I haven’t been to the market yet today so I would need to buy vegetables and lentils.” THA FUCK? I reread the only other HappyCow review of the place (there’s a second on on there now with the TRUTH you’re welcome) and it said there was vegan food ‘on request’. So, first of all, no way in hell this place should be on HC if it doesn’t have any regular menu items that are veg. Second of all, WHAT KIND OF RESTAURANT ISN’T PREPARED FOR THE DAY AT 2PM ON A SATURDAY? Isn’t that your busiest time, all restaurants in the world? What kind of place is run like that? And I don’t just mean for the vegan request. Like, she hadn’t been to the store yet, at all, on a Saturday afternoon. And she had other employees just sitting around. What kind of fuckery I can’t even. I reported them to HC hoping to get them deleted but they are still on there. Le sigh.
Luckily Sacha has been to every restaurant in town and knew good ones with vegetarian options. If I’m reading my blursula picture of the menu correctly, it was Dastorkan restaurant, a good restaurant and an amazing name for a JK Rowling character. The menu even had 3 green-tipped pages that were all the vegetarian options.
do you think they put my salad on a heart-shaped plate because they knew how much I love salad
vegetable soup!
broccoli to share! I share my vegetables I”m such a good wife
This place was great! We also got the requisite basket of fluffy lavash bread. It was great…except, I don’t know if it was the food here, or the food the night before, or the spring water from a few days ago, or who knows how many endless factors, but I started to feel sick soon. We were staying in Karakol that night, at a nice little guest house about 10 minutes drive from the restaurant. We arrived and relaxed for a little and I had a little of the Travelers’ (TM(i)) but thought nothing of it. Z and I soon walked to a cafe to use their wifi (yay!) and after a little while I Traveled (TM(i)) again. I started to feel worse so I said let’s walk back to the house, I don’t feel so good. We had made it about 2/3 of the way when I vomited the hardest I ever have right on the sidewalk. Well in a grass patch but still. It was very violent and horrible and so painful that I thought I was choking. LUCKILY it happened, if you can even believe it, in front of what can only be called “Apteka Row” (the russian word for pharmacy) – a whole string of pharmacies. Z ran into one and I think just pointed out the window to me and was given anti vomit and anti nausea pills. It seemed to help a little, despite the fear of taking unmarked Kyrgyz pills (I still have some if anyone wants to try! or examine). When we returned, I told Sacha I wasn’t going to eat dinner and he was SO mad because the owner lady had already started making it and I was like okay if you really want me to try I will happily vom again on her little white tablecloth. I didn’t say that but I should have. But like come on dude.
So, I just slept the whole evening and night. Luckily I had some saltines from China in my pack and had those in the morning. Saltines are amazing. You watching The Good Place (also amazing)? You know when Ted Danson is like “I wish I could have tried a saltine”? I feel him.
Someone tell McConaughey to get a message to this girl in the past and alert her ‘girl you gon vom’
DAY 6
“Suuuuunday morning TIME FOR CHURCH!”
The mean old lady and the mean old Sacha made me drink tea for breakfast even though I HATE tea especially strong black tea and, guess what, tea makes me nauseous, because they both thought that my drinking bottled water instead of tea was what made me sick. This is the kind of ‘bullshit science’ that republicans can only DREAM of taking hold in America. FFS. It’s funny, actually – our Trans Siberian guidebook mentioned offhand that old Russians in Siberia had a weird rampant distrust of ‘dangerous’ cold water, warning against its consumption for no reason other than that it had become a rural myth. But now in Kyrgs we actually meet the old (ethnic) Russians who believe this! Ahhhhh! Shut UP!
We had a busy morning planned with lots of activities and somehow we still had to end the day at our guest house in Chon Kemin – more than 300 kilometers away! First we had a visit to Karakol’s mosque, called the Dungan Mosque, which is really cool because it was built like a Chinese Buddhist temple! We haven’t seen nearly enough of those! No it was really cool to see how the roof had dragons and other traditional Chinese symbols carved all over, and the structure as a whole was very China.
buddha mosque buddha mosque
What was not cool, was that this mosque made women wear these RIDONK heavy coverups like f-ing WIZARD robes. So smelly and so extra hot in this weather and just ugh annoying. I try to be chill about all religions but I can’t get behind any of the parts that require women to cover up so the mens don’t get too excited. Control YOURSELF, Aaron.
who dis ninja
it me
After the mosque, we went to the Holy Trinity Orthodox Church. So much religion! The church was built in 1894 in the ‘six-pillared’ fashion but it has only 4 pillars! Fan thyself!
I really dig the whole decaying wood thing they have going on here. Very wool.
After all the gods and everything, we were to see a local museum in the town of Cholpon Ata, which is a really satisfying name to say. Unfortunately, the museum was closed, despite the sign on the door with the museum’s schedule clearly stating that they should be open right now. Guyssss. Sacha made a few calls and we amused ourselves in the small grocery store next door. GUESS WHAT I FOUND.
MANNER!!! Why didn’t I get more than one? (Ed. note: Don’t cry for me. Have you seen my instagram? Thanks Emmeline & Josh!)
When we returned to Sacha, he had bad news: The museum people said it was closed today because they had no electricity. Sacha didn’t buy their excuse and said “I think it’s really because they are sleeping.”
We still had more to do though, so no harm no foul. Next up was the Open Air Museum of Petroglyphs – a whole field of rocks and boulders with ancient drawings made from carving or scraping and such. Some had miraculously retained their clarity, but most had faded in the like thousands of years.
After we burned in the dry sun to a sufficient crispiness, we had lunch at a terrible cafe on the side of the road that was giant and full of tourists and had wifi but had a terrible waitress. She brought me my vinaigrette salad with fish on it even after Sacha made sure she knew no fish! Who puts fish on a vinaigrette anyway! Also people were smoking in the bathroom. It was an OUTDOOR restaurant. I don’t understand. I ate some vegetarian borscht instead (soup is always a good idea) and then we continued the drive to Chon Kemin and our last guest house, one run by the popular tour agency CBT (we were looking at CBT and NoviNomad when we were deciding who to go with, but CBT was terrible at answering emails and our questions so NoviNomad luckily won out. If you like loud hostels with giant dorms full of yoots, CBT seems the choice for you.) Because it was a CBT house, it was full of the most tourists we’d seen in weeks! It was a nice enough place and it had wifi! It was just a shock to have all the noise and PEOPLE when we’d been mostly in isolation for so long. I love isolation from other tourists.
The best part was the saddest part – our last gorgeous communal dinner in a yurt with the traditional set up. How wonderful is this kind of meal!
There were many plates of tomato salad (course) and vermicelli and carrot salads all over, and then the main event was plov, the main dish of Kyrgyzstan (and Uzbekistan and like the entire region I think). Plov is a rice pilaf usually with giant hunks of mutton or other gross meat (spoiler all meat is gross) on top. It’s a lot of rice. Mine was rice with bits of carrot. It was a lot of rice – the vegetarian platter was almost as big as the meat version but the meat plate was for like 11 people and the veg was just for me! How much rice do you think I can eat! I have to save room for watermelon!
We made some small talk with the other tourists and met some that didn’t make us too angry or annoyed (progress) but then, as is our wont, spent most of the night trying to get the weak wifi to connect. We heart wifi. Then we enjoyed our last night’s sleep in a shared space! We hate sharing! From here on out – hotels! (Well and hostels but private rooms!) Tomorrow we leave for Bishkek!
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Huangshan, China: One of the Most Spectacular Sights in the Country…So They Say
After our time in the city of Hangzhou, we left on a short train to Huangshan, one of China’s most important, and most spectacularly beautiful, sights. This is what’s known as the “Yellow Mountain”, and Chinese people will come from all over the country to climb up to the summit. It’s a strenuous climb, and there are a few route options to choose from – including via cable car, which is cheating!, we said, gung ho on doing a great day of hiking and climbing. Huangshan was the entry on our itinerary that I added myself. I had seen pictures of the mountain, and was in awe of how beautiful it was. I have to SEE the big f-ing thing, I said! I have to see this myself! Turns out, the universe had other ideas for me. I mean, I was there, I climbed up, oh how I climbed, but I didn’t actually see…anything.
Tangkou
We’ll get there. First, we had to get to the town at the base of the mountain, Tangkou, where we were staying the first night. You either stay in Tunxi, by the station, or Tangkou, just under an hour away. Both are tiny, two street villages with a few questionable restaurants, a few shops, a few hostels, and some residents who look at you like, what the crap are you doing here. If you stay in Tunxi, you still have to take the bus to the base the day you climb the mountain, anyway, so there’s really no good reason not to stay in Tangkou. We stayed at a good place called YSHS Hostel, and it was fine – clean, basic, quiet – but what made it were the owners. Every review we read raved about “John and his mom” and we were like, whaaat is that about, but it’s true, John and his mom were the nicest people ever! His mom is the cook and doesn’t speak English but communicated her kindness successfully. She was very concerned when I didn’t have breakfast with Z one morning (I do room fruit for breakfast!). And John is great, and he will pick you up from and drive you to the various bus stations whenever you call him. So I definitely recommend staying there. They didn’t have a good laundry machine, so we did laundry just up the street at the other hostel, which was an interesting experience. The dryer was actually like a standing zipped up closet with an open bottom. Didn’t really work.
open bottoms don’t really work for dryers
The mountain in the background that you can almost see through the fog
We ‘explored’ the little town and got excited for the next day’s climb. It was foggy that first day but we crossed our fingers that we’d have better weather. Apparently it rains 200 days of the year on the mountain, but in the peak of summer, the storms usually move fast. So we were told.
couldn’t read this in person either
The next day, we set off early in the morning with John driving us to the bus station for the quick bus to the entrance of the mountain. This is where everyone needs to buy tickets to enter the mountain, which cost over 200 yuan. This is where 99% of people get on the cable car so they can get to the summit in one piece. And this is where Z and I spent 20 minutes asking everyone who worked there how in god’s name we find the actual climbing path. There were zero signs for people attempting to actually climb up. It was infuriating, and stupid. This is a big deal to climb! But that day we were the only people there at that time wanting to climb. That should have tipped us off that maybe it wasn’t a good day – the fog had worsened – but because of our schedule, it was our only shot anyway.
Also, I didn’t yet mention, there are two climbing paths up the mountain – the eastern and western steps. The eastern steps are 7.5 kilometers of mostly easier, flatter, more doable steps and terrain. It’s still obviously a lot, but it’s better for the average person. The western steps are harder, to say the least, and our guide book firmly dissuades the reader from attempting to go up them. It was 15 kilometers of killer steep uphill mountain stairs. 15 kilometers. That is like 10 miles. Uphill. I tried a stairmaster once and lasted like a minute. We were not doing the western steps.
John had other ideas, though. We said, John my boy! drive us to the entrance for the eastern steps! And he said – NO! You don’t want to do that, the scenery is nothing it’s a waste it’s terrible! The western steps are what’s actually worth seeing! And despite being TOLD (by the book) that it was super insane to do, we were like, Okay John! Take us to the 15 kilometers of steep mountain stairs! We will be fine!
We were not fine – and it didn’t even have to do with how hard it was.
So to start this hike of insanity when no one who worked there could point to a freaking path beginning, we followed buses that were going a little bit farther up the road, which was super freaking scary and dangerous – this was a mountain path road, meaning it was winding and narrow and buses careen around the bends without expecting to see people walking. It was scary and dumb but it was literally the only way to start the climb, apparently. What the hell! I can’t get over this, considering how big an attraction this climb is. Where were the starting signs, Huangshan! Get your shit together!
there’s a really tall mountain behind that fog somewhere
Luckily, we made it to a spot that finally clearly signalled for pedestrians to ‘turn into the woods here’, and we began the real path finally. It was chilly and very foggy, but we hoped for a change in the weather soon. And we got one, just not in the direction we wanted. Oh no, the weather got much, much worse. First, it started to rain. We had our anoraks and umbrellas so we didn’t worry about that. It’s just rain! On slippery mountain steps. No biggie. And it was getting colder and colder, which, well, at least it wasn’t sweltering hot, right? But for now, we concentrated on climbing endless stairs. Hooray for exercise! This will be great! I’ll feel so great after all this leg work!
a dozen or so of the LITERALLY MILLIONS OF STEPS I CLIMBED
After what seemed like hours, we assumed we’d made great progress. We came to one of the first titled points, the location of an old temple or pagoda long ago or something, and looked at the map (really really shitty map, all of them are, and they are all different) and realized we had gone like one kilometer tops. We’d gone nowhere. We met a group of Parisians who were like, surely this is halfway, right? We told them the bad news and they were like aaaare you joking?? This is TERRIBLE! It was great to be with people who were complaining more than me. I was okay so far, just a little cold and wet, but I still was optimistic that the fog and clouds would break before we got out of the forest and to a point on the mountain where views would be good.
Over the next two hours, it didn’t just get colder and rainier. It was like the coldest and wettest we’ve ever been for that long. We were soaked to the bone, our clothes so wet we could wring out our shirts despite wearing anoraks, and so frozen that they were like sheets of ice hitting our shivering skin. Every step we took, it was like swinging into a sheet of ice. Clammy, goose-bumped skin, completely drenched hair and clothes, and SOCKS, despite good hiking boots (and hiking socks! it went through to my base layer socks! so gross!). It was completely miserable, and so were we. But we were going to stay at a nice hotel at the top of the mountain that night, as is like the thing to do, so we kept plowing ahead, despite the worsening weather. The rain got harder, but it was the wind that was killer. It was like hurricane wind, gale force winds knocking us back – which, when you are on top of mountain cliffs, is not an ideal situation. People were hanging onto the slippery ‘railings’ from the 4th century trying to make it to the next plateau for safety but the wind thwarted us at every turn. Then the wind blew my umbrella inside out – which it had been doing repeatedly, and as usual I would turn it the other way and let the wind blow it rightside in or however you say that. But this time, the wind was so ferocious that it blew my umbrella inside out and BROKE the spokes. No more umbrella usage for me! So I used my soaking wet buff to keep my anorak hood in place and settled for that being as good as I could get, as rain just poured right down into my eyes and made it harder to see now. We made it to another little overhang section with another little shop (luckily there were drink and snack stands frequently), and dozens and dozens of people were camped out, waiting for the weather to lift but we all knew by now that it would only get worse. And it did. It really did, but we continued because we had to be almost there, right?
this is the face BEFORE my umbrella completely broke, can you even
It started to hail, guys. We were probably 10 kilometers up the mountain by now – UP A MOUNTAIN, on a swirling path by the edge of it – and it was HAILING. And gale force winds were whipping our entire bodies hither and thither and, according to the people coming down the mountain, we still were at least an hour from the end of the Western Steps. Another hour, after it had been probably three and a half by now of consistent trudging directly UP. We were a mess. The French guys were even worse. We all huddled together under a small roof and scarfed down a few necessary blood-sugar-raising snacks. I have never been a huge fan of Pringles, but the entire can we demolished was the greatest thing I’d ever eaten in my life.
The worst part, though, wasn’t how miserable the weather was making us. It was how miserable the weather was making the view. Or, rather, there was no view anymore. We had come to Huangshan, I NEEDED to see Huangshan, because the view from and of the mountain is considered one of the most magical sights in all of China, a must-see, just beyond comprehension how gorgeous it is. And we could barely see three feet in front of us, let alone anything in the thousands of feet below us. It was like we were just standing in the clouds, and there was no seeing anything outside of the clouds. It’s a real shame that we couldn’t enjoy the whole point of this experience and destination, merely because of bad luck and timing.
We continued. One more hour, we said. We can do this. One more hour and we can relax in our overpriced but should-be-decent hotel (all the hotels up at the mountain were overpriced for what they were because they can be, but still, hotels), we can take a warm shower and put on dry clothes. And maybe tomorrow would be better, and we could wake up for sunrise over the vista. So we trudged. One foot in front of the other. We were literally willing our feet to take each step.
the famous gorgeous view from the top of Huangshan…completely blocked by fog and cloud
At about the 4.5 hour mark, we finally, finally finished the 15 kilometers uphill and reached the end of the Western Steps! We were so disappointed that we couldn’t see any of the famous views, but at least we finished the climb! We made it. Ugh, finally. So now to our hotel! Immediately at the top of the Western Steps is a different hotel, a restaurant, toilets (thanks! although there were enough along the way, thankfully), and the path to this end of the cable car. (Yes, those wise people we saw at the ticket entrance who just hopped in the cable car missed the whole dire experience of climbing in freezing hail and got off here.) We said goodbye to the French people as they happily praised the cable car they’ve been waiting to take back down and get the hell off this mountain. We asked people in the hotel and the restaurant how to get to the Paiyunlou (spelling wrong I’m sure) Hotel and they showed us a vague route on our maps that continued trekking down and around various parts of the mountain… for another 4.5 hours. UM EXCUSE ME WHAT? WHAT IS THAT YOU SAID? We kept asking different people and they all said somewhere between 4 and 5 hours, so it was real. This nightmare was real. We did not have another 2 hours in us, let alone 4-5! We called the hotel to find out whether this was a) for real, and b) why there was no information anywhere saying that this hotel was located like NOT where anyone says it is (including the book! It was f-ing recommended by our book which made NO mention of it being anywhere other than at the top of this part of the climb! DAMMIT TO HELL.) But the person who answered the phone did not speak English, and after saying a few words in Chinese she hung up on us. That’s after someone finally , finally, picked up the phone, so continuing to call wasn’t really an option and apparently despite saying that they spoke English, they did not, so what good would it do. We asked one more person the route and got another 4.5 hour answer. And then, for the first time in our lives, we bailed on a hotel booking and called John and asked if we could stay again at YSHS if we came back down. He said of course, because he’s the nicest, and that he would pick us up where he dropped us that morning, so many hours that felt like days ago, so we got on the cable car, tried to thaw during the INSANE 20-minute ride (longest cable car of my entire life, jfc) during which we continued to see absolutely zilch outside, and reassured each other that we had made the right decision. It was a sucky choice to have to make, but we could not have gone through another entire round of what we had already gone through in the wind and rain, just for the chance of better weather in the morning, when we could save four hours of hiking and shower and relax at YSHS and enjoy Tangkou a little more. I think we made the right decision.
damn you fog
just to prove I’m not exaggerating about the weather
At the base, we got on the short bus back to the bus station, and John picked us up a minute later and drove us back to safety. And warmth. Thawing out in that shower was the best ever. We unpacked our day packs that we had on the mountain with us (John had been storing our big bags till our intended return the next day, so that was nice and lucky) and saw that every single last item was soaked through. I had to throw out a whole notebook that I had buried in the bottom, along with a box’s worth of tissues, both of which had turned to Gwynnie’s website mush. Our clothes for the next day were so wet we could wring them, and our passports were soaked! We had to dry them out and then place them under furniture to re-form and flatten. Thank god they weren’t actually ruined, just wet and misshapen. But the worst, the saddest for me, was my last pack of my favorite gum all the way from the USA, now a disintegrating box of wet gunk. (I kept it for a week after this, hoping it would dry out and get back to an edible consistency. It did not.)
After we took boiling hot showers (we thought about going back to the hostel up the street and asking to stand in that standing-closet clothes dryer but that would have required going back outside), we went into the very nice common lobby area and chatted with a French father and son while I think John’s son played video games. John brought us all tea and crackers on the house, which was really sweet of him. The French guys lived in Paris, so we talked about how much we love (and miss…oh so miss) Paris, and all about their travels (Indonesia! Fun!) and ours, and it came out that we had our honeymoon (three years ago!) in Morocco, and the father got super excited and exclaimed “I am Moroccan!” We went through the details of our Moroccan trekking trip, as much as we could remember of the little Berber villages in the mountains that we stayed in, and of all the places in the world, it turned out that he was from Imlil, one of those tiny villages we had trekked to and lodged in, in the Atlas Mountains! How amazing is that! That these people we were having tea with in like the smallest little village in China happened to be from the smallest little place in Morocco that we went to. Such a small world!
Soon, we needed food. Those magical Pringles were indeed wonderful but not enough to refuel after this day, so we set off to find some weird looking restaurants with pictures of food we could point to. Luckily, such places were plentiful, both in terms of the pointing and the weird, so we were in luck. I pointed to several vegetables and got them, and we liked it, and we loved it.
one of these was from the day before. plus rice, always rice
After proper sustenance, we went off to find my favorite things that I had discovered in these little streets the previous day – my two favorite things in China, bubble tea and steamed buns. Yesirree, this tiny little town had BOTH, and great versions of them too! Can you even! The off-brand bubble tea place was called Tea & Brown, and it was so cheap and pretty decent. I mean as long as I can successfully communicate that I want the bubbles in mine, we’re good, I don’t care if you just give me a cup of water as long as there’s bubbles. One time the lady didn’t give me bubbles (often they don’t come in the fruit teas, and I guess I didn’t say the words for ‘please give me bubles’ right) and she tried to get away with it! Hell no! I (very politely and sweetly) made her open the plasticked top part and pour bubbles on top.
Even better was the random lady cooking up tons (tonnes!) of steamed buns near a garage on what we considered the main street. I don’t even know if they were really for sale to the general public, but that first day I asked whether they were ‘su shi’ – vegetarian – and she pointed to the veggie ones, I said yayyy gimme, she said 1.5 yuan each (like 22 cents), and then every day after I bought like 4 at a time for less than $1 altogether! I can’t even eat four in a day but I couldn’t buy fewer; they were so cheap and big and great! It was SUCH a find! Not even in Shanghai did I find amazing vegetarian steamed buns like this! And so cheap! Because they were 1.5 yuan, I referred to them as the “one dollar five buns” (and one time, just to finish the thought, we bought SIX!). My family will understand this, and okay I’ll explain – it’s just referring to a video of my cousin when she first looooose a tooth and said the tooth fairy gave her ‘1 dollar 5’ and somehow it is THE FUNNIEST THING EVER. Anyway, the 1 dollar 5 steamed buns were so good, and so convenient, and so easy to get, I wish every town in China had a lady like this. What a great lady.
NOT SHADY
We also had fun exploring the small shops in town for goodies we might want…or not.
DO YOU SEE IT? is that the English name, or the tag line or just something they wanted us to know?
mmm nathanks
just another ridiculous face for the road
So, we made the best of our extra time in Tangkou, but it really is such a disappointment to have missed out on the full experience of Huangshan. It’s supposed to be so magical and, for many, life-changing to see the majestic sweep of the misty mountains as you climb up and up and up, so to be met instead with pure dense cloud cover was such a damn shame. The only slight silver lining, if you can call it that, is that the next day was gross and foggy too, so if we (somehow) had made it to our hotel and tried for the views the next morning, we still would not have seen anything good. So that’s good, I guess! It means we made the right decision coming down the mountain; we just unwittingly picked the wrong week to visit Huangshan (and the wrong hotel regardless! Who builds a hotel almost 9 hours of trekking away and doesn’t say anything about the second half of it?! and I’m still so mad at the book for including all this info about it and not saying p.s. it’s not located where it says on our map! grrr). It’s too sad to share pictures of what it actually looks like here (and, well, obviously I didn’t take any myself), so take a quick second to google ‘Huangshan yellow mountain’ and take a look, and then you’ll see why we added this stop to our agenda, and why we’re pretty mad at our crappy luck. And then comment below OH DAMN IT’S BEAUTIFUL SO SORRY FOR YOU. I knowwww.
A Wondrous Place For Me & Yucatan: Valladolid, Chichen Itza, & Our Fave Cenotes
Living in London, we missed good Mexican food so much that we decided to take an epic trip to Mexico earlier this summer. Okay, we had other reasons too but the food, man, the food is incredible (and so easy for vegans)! So are the sights! And everything else! We had the best darn time making our way through the Yucatan and Mexico City. Today we’ll take a look at the first part of our trip: the Yucatan by way of Valladolid. In this section of our trip, before moving on to Merida, we saw the amazing ruins of Ek Balam and Chichen Itza, plus our favorite thing in Mexico (besides the food), the cenotes (natural sinkholes for swimming (“I call it my swimming hole”)).
Husbo and I had surprisingly never been to Mexico before this trip, surprisingly because we are from the USA and it seemed like everyone else we knew had at least been to Puerto Vallarta with their families or Cancun on spring break. Even drunk on a dare you make it to Cancun! Since we now live farther away, we had to make the most of this chance to see Mexico, a place I feel like it goes without saying is, like anywhere, in large part wonderful and nothing at all like Cheeto Mussolini would have you believe but a lot of things you hope go without saying nowadays do have to be said so alas I said it. We only had about 8 days, but we packed each day to the brim with activities, sights, and fun. And guacamole.
The first big decision, after the “We’re going to Mexico!” one, was deciding what we had time to properly see. It was hard to cross Tulum, the most popular Mexican beach right now for seemingly everyone on Instagram who loves green smoothies and yoga (hi), off the list, but it was more important for us to finally see the wondrous ancient ruins of the Yucatan than to lounge on the beach. We’re not really lounge-y people anyway, and we are definitely ‘climb around ancient ruins in 100 degree heat so you have something to complain about’ people. Well at least I am. You know I love complaining. So that meant four days in the Yucatan to see Chichen Itza, Uzmal, and other ruins we’d come to know and love along with our new best friend: the cenote. Then after a short flight, we’d spend four days in Mexico City, what the cool kids call CDMX, and seeing all those sights, eating all their food, and making lots of new dog friends! It’s a plan!
We flew into Cancun airport and immediately got the hell out of there. Well, not immediately – between baggage delays and the UNACCEPTABLE rental car delays (they kept taking Mexican customers who arrived well after us blahhh) it was two hours from landing till driving away – but after we were immediately greeted by guys with carts selling neon yardstick spring-break-resort-style drinks and dozens and dozens of resort representatives, we were like mmm bye. We are not rave-going people and even the Cancun airport is very much PARTAYYYY TIME! I mean I guess they know their main audience.
I’m really happy I brought a sandwich from Baltimore (where we were flying from) for the 3 hour-ish flight, because I didn’t see many options in the Cancun airport and we had a whole day of driving ahead of us. When we stopped to get gas, we did go a little nuts at the gas station convenience store buying more water (gotta drink that water!) fruit, chips (gotta eat that salt when you drink that water!), and my new favorite thing ever – lime & chili peanuts. Mexico does lime and/or chili everything better than anyone and it’s amazing.
The drive out of Quintana Roo and through the Yucatan was often lovely, shady with trees, with few other cars on the road until we got closer to the city of Valladolid. The city is the third largest in the state, with 45k+ residents at the time of the last census. I loved the vibe of Valladolid – relaxed, comfortable, and culturally old-fashioned in a nice way). At least that’s how it seemed to this tourist who was there one night and one night only and is about to say a whole bunch of things that, as usual, would probably make more knowledgeable folks and residents wince. And that, my dudes, brings us to the latest edition of:
Valladolid, named after the same named city in Spain (the capital when the Mexi version was founded, in 1543), was actually originally placed a bit aways from its current location, by a lagoon. That sounds lovely, sure, but the Spanish settlers soon realized stagnant water + heat = mosquitoes and humidity but yeah mostly mosquitoes and they were NOT having it (I mean I wouldn’t either) and they made authorities literally just move the entire city. I’ve never identified so hard with Spanish settlers.
Of course, settlers are bad and do bad things, so when the city moved, it displaced more Maya people and their buildings (they wanted those stones). The Mayan revolted, but, as always happens to the indigenous people, lost. Some bullshit. Almost 300 years later, the Mayan people revolted again, and after a noble was killed, the revolt grew and grew into legit battles and became a key location of Yucatan’s Caste War, when the native Maya all over the Yucatan revolted against the European descendants. The war lasted more than 50 years, ending due to occupation by the Mexican army. There were some reforms that addressed some of the problems, but tensions and violence persisted.
So, clearly, this is the perfect place to begin our lighthearted tourism! No, it is important to learn the history of any place you travel to, and we learned a great deal about the indigenous cultures throughout our trip, especially in Merida. Today, Valladolid is a charming and peaceful place that’s celebrated for its traditional architecture, lovely surroundings, dedication to craftsmanship, and its perfect location for accessing the big sites. It’s so special that it’s been named a Pueblo Magico of Mexico, or Magic City. Approved!
We arrived in the city late that first day after an afternoon of driving (and waiting for the car, yes I’m still mad) and checked in to the Hotel Meson del Marques, a charming (everything is charming here), sprawling, traditional hotel right off the main square of the town. Most importantly, it has a pool. When you go to Mexico in the summer, you need to make sure every place you stay has a pool. We spent almost zero time here, as we left early the next morning for our jam-packed day of sight-seeing (you’ll see; it’s like the fullest day ever), but we liked what time we did have.
After doing my #1 thing to do after a flight no matter how long it is (shower), we explored our one evening in this – say it with me – charming little city. The central square is definitely the highlight, full of locals, tourists, touts, food stalls, and general happy vibes.
we went in just to take this picture
we were on our way to dinner so I also prayed that our restaurant of choice was open
Our chosen restaurant for our only night in Valladolid was the wonderful Yerbabuena de Sisal, located in the trendy Sisal neighborhood near the above-shown convent and colorful Valladolid sign. Yerbabuena is the CUTEST DARN restaurant and is vegan-friendly. It’s not vegetarian, but they have plenty of exciting vegan offerings, delicious juices, and picture-worthy decor.
We were beyond excited for our first guacamole of the trip, and theirs did not disappoint. (I mean, I don’t think it’s possible to have less-than-stellar guacamole when in Mexico.) We were also delighted to find that Yerbabuena had the vegan-friendly Yucatan staple dip of sizil pak, a traditional Mayan pumpkin seed dip. SO GOOD!
Even though they didn’t have the vegan lasagna (they don’t have it till 8pm and we arrived at 7pm because we are not cool enough to eat at normal times in any Spanish-speaking locale, apparently), I was after Mexican food anyway (it’s literally why we came here) and I was thrilled to have tamales! I love tamales! These were great!
As you can see, it came with a side salad. Mexico, as you know if you’ve heard any lazy jokes from the past 50 years, is famous for giving tourists some tumtum troubs, and we knew to stay away from raw veg and unwashed produce in general. However, I had a feeling that if any restaurant were safe to trust, it was Yerbabuena. I’m happy to report I did not get sick! And I got to have a salad! My happiest day. (I wrote in my notes from this dinner: “I am eating the side salad make sure to note on the blog if I get sick or not!” I did not!) I get the tumtums super easily so I am confident in reporting that the salad here is safe for all.
We really pushed our luck on our first meal in Mexico, hilariously, because we also broke the other main rule about eating in this country: we had drinks with ice! They were amazing juices, one chaya (a spinach-like green we would have a lot this trip, loves it) with pineapple, and one tejate, a juice from the cocoa flower.
With its amazing food, including must-try traditional dishes like sizal pak and tamales and tejate and chaya and guacamole and really everything we had omg it was so delicious, plus safe-for-our-weak-stomachs salad AND ice, I wholeheartedly recommend dining at Yerbabuena when you visit Valladolid and the Yucatan.
After our yucatangfastic (omg sorry) dinner, we strolled through the city center again and saw what we would learn is a staple of nights all across the Yucatan: enormous dance parties in the street. But the fun adorable kind, full of older Mexicans dancing and playing music and having a jolly time while the nearby sidewalks are packed to the gills with people watching. It was so sweet.
On the way home, we also found incredible paletas, frozen fruit popsicles. I had my first and probably the best one ever. This was watermelon, and it was literally just perfect sweet frozen watermelon juice. Ugh so perfect, especially with the background of YA books in Spanish (I see you Bajo La Misma Estrella, trying to make me cry!).
It was a pretty great first night in the Yucatan, and our last relaxed segment of the entire trip. We had shit to do!!
After a decent night’s sleep and a very nice plate of fruit for breakfast, the next day we enjoyed the busiest and best day.
EK BALAM
Ek Balam is about a 30 minute drive from Valladolid. It often gets overlooked as tourists concentrate on the big kahuna, Chichen Itza, and the next biggest kahuna, Uxmal, but you must make room in your schedule for a visit to Ek Balam as well. It doesn’t require too much time – you could probably spend only an hour if you are pressed – but it is definitely a worthwhile starting point on your ruinous journey.
I’m like already tired
Ek Balam was the seat of a Mayan kingdom dating back to 1000 BCE, now a Yucatec-Mayan archaeological site. King Ukit Tan Lek Tok, who ruled during the height of this city’s power in 770 to about 800 AD, is buried in the Acropolis.
We got to Ek Balam early, and I suggest doing the same because you can climb all over (most of) the pyramids and structures here and you want to beat the heat and the crowds. It makes sense to see Ek Balam and Chichen Itza on the same day, so you may be thinking that it’s better to get to the big one early and have a better experience there. However, you can’t climb the structures at Chichen Itza anymore, so beating the heat for that reason is not applicable. Also, Chichen Itza is the biggest tourist attraction in this entire state – meaning, you will never beat the crowds. It’s always crowded. With Ek Balam, if you arrive early you might be one of only a handful there, so at least you will get one set of ruins almost to yourself! (Also, Chichen Itza is enormous in comparison, so the everpresent crowds, even in the afternoon, are never really a problem. You’ll see later!)
There are 45 structures at Ek Balam, but a lot of them are smaller and/or not permissible to climb so it seems smaller than it sounds, especially compared to the other sites. The big climbing challenge is the main structure, the Acropolis, and even if it wasn’t 100 degrees out it would be hard.
(Oh, side note: Yes I am talking about temperatures in Fahrenheit, obviously, because I am smart. Americans rightly get a lot of shit for their systems of measurement, and for the most part it’s deserved. Sure the metric system makes more sense than the random number of feet in a mile. But I will never stop arguing that Fahrenheit is such a better system for measuring weather temperatures than Celsius. Oh sure in Celsius your temps for the freezing and boiling of water are easy to remember (0 and 100) but that’s not the kind of information you’re after when discussing WEATHER. Fahrenheit has a wider number range for temperatures we actually use in average normal weather (below 0 to over 100F in a normal year in my city, versus what, -10 to 40C?? what is that nonsense), so you get more information from that number than you do in Celsius. It’s much more precise. I need everyone to stop lumping our use of Fahrenheit for weather into the ‘Americans can’t measure shit’ debate because the argument for Celsius when it comes to weather does not exist. This is the hill I will die on.)
Or maybe this is the hill I will die on – at least I was terrified I would:
Climbing up this monstrosity is a lot of fun (it’s fun to climb things!), but like all the giant pyramids and ruins we’d encounter on this trip, coming down is TERRIFYING. It’s so steep and the steps are so narrow and you are just going like straight down and omg it’s forking frightening. I went down a lot of these steps sitting down. It’s just safer. Omg I am so scared again looking at it. Fun story, so I climbed it, said yee haw, and made my way miraculously back down. But then I saw how cool the pictures we took of Z sitting on the steps looked, so I climbed back up and took some of those (like the one below) at different points on the stairs. Then I miraculously tempted fate and got safely down again and thanked the Mayan gods.
And this perspective lets you see how forkign steep this was, since you can’t even seen the steps I mean man
But THEN, when we were both on sacred ground again, we realized we forgot to take a selfie at the top, a thing we like to do when we climb things. So up again I went, for the third time, and down again I came, thinking that ‘third time’s the charm’ would mean something bad for me, but luckily I made it and please do not make me climb it again.
Aside from my terrors, it was a pretty great morning. Ek Balam costs 413 pesos (very typical for these sites) (about $20) and it’s cash only. As is the case with most tourist attractions in the Yucatan, there will be guys (yoots) hanging out in the parking lot who will offer to watch your car while you tour the site, for 20-30 pesos. Of course this is a scam, but you do it, okay? They really do watch your car and if you say no they will probably, um, not. So just suck it up and pay them, it’s fine.
CENOTES
After our climby climby morning at Ek Balam, we enjoyed my absolute favorite part of this trip: the cenotes. A cenote is a natural sinkhole formed from the collapse of bedrock, exposing groundwater underneath. The ancient Maya may have used these for sacrificial offerings but luckily I didn’t know that until after we swam in a bunch of them because ew and oh no. I got to enjoy these for what they were to me: beautiful natural swimming pools, one of my favorite things (pools in general; considering my favorite smell is the chlorine of indoor pools the ‘beautiful’ or ‘natural’ element isn’t required but it was definitely a perk here).
Our first stop was the Cenote X’keken, which I can’t even describe how I’m saying wrongly in my head let alone how to properly say it, I’m sorry. (Is it like schnecken?? now I want schnecken.) This cenote is well signed since it’s pretty popular. Going to Schnecken alone is 80 pesos, but a combined ticket with another cenote on the same grounds is 125. If you are short on cash, just the one is fine and you probably won’t swim in both anyway.
The cool/crazy thing about X’Keken is that it’s completely underground. The guards will point you through the grounds, past a semi-abandoned sort of circular mall with bathrooms and changing rooms and, luckily, one lady renting towels outside (we paid 30 pesos), and over to a hidden staircase leading underground into literally the bat cave. The cave is, indeed, filled with bats. It’s so freaking cool! The bats keep to themselves flitting around the roof of the cave so you don’t have to worry about them bothering you or anything.
As you can see it’s pretty big, and even with a crowd it doesn’t feel crowded. It was pretty awesome! Everyone just leaves their stuff along the sides of the rock, but of course leave whatever you can in your car.
After our little schnecken swim, we drove about an hour to my favorite place: the Yokdzonot Cenote. This location has my favorite cenote, as well as a great restaurant. And best of all, it’s also a women’s collective, run by the local women of the community. Entry only costs 80 pesos and it’s the most beautiful cenote ever.
We timed our day perfectly so we arrived at Yokzdonot (or as I say in my head without wanting to, yoka deez nuts (I am sorry)) for lunch. We learned about this place and their ability to make vegan food from a PPK friend (the best and og vegan forum, never to be surpassed never to be forgotten), and sure enough they brought me this very nice plate of steamed nopales (cactus), nicely flavored rice, refried black beans, cabbage slaw, and a whole plate of soft tortillas so I could wrap everything up in my own special messy way. We also of course got guacamole, which was great.
After we ate, we changed in the changing rooms + bathrooms that are right off the restaurant space, and then put everything we didn’t need back in the car, which was a little annoying to keep walking out to but so what who cares. And then we went swimming in the best cenote!
At first, I was annoyed at the rule that everyone who enters the cenote must wear a lifejacket, but honestly it ended up being good because I was pretty tired from the heat by this point and it was nice to just float and relax and enjoy the scenery without worrying about drowning. This was such a lovely experience, and luckily it wasn’t too crowded for most of our visit. Yokadeeznuts is not the kind of place that can accommodate big bus tour groups, fortunately, but more and more people seem to be discovering it. I’m so glad we had a relatively chill time here. I love this place so much.
After one of the most relaxing experiences in recent memory, we went back to the car, grabbed our clothes, went back to the restaurant, changed back into (gross, sorry) clothes, and girded our loins for the big forking thing.
CHICHEN ITZA
Chichen Itza was one of the largest Mayan cities, built in approximately 600 AD, actually not that long ago in the scheme of ancient ruins. A variety of architectural styles decorate the site, suggesting that the population here was more diverse than the rest of the Mayan world. A cenote on the site (not swimmable, sadly) was likely used for sacrificial purposes – as you learn pretty much everything in the ancient Mayan world was.
The famous pyramid, El Castillo, is also called the Temple of Kukulcan. Kukulcan was a Mayan feathered serpent god like the Aztec’s Quetzalcoatl, the inspiration for Wetzel’s Pretzels. You are no longer allowed to climb El Castillo, which, ya know, fine by me.
Like I said before, Chichen Itza is always crowded, so instead of futilely trying to beat the crowds or the heat, we decided to do the opposite on both counts and go late afternoon, so that we would finish exploring the site at its closing time. (Just under two hours was, surprisingly, more than enough time for us, and we usually take forever.) This sounds like the opposite of anyone’s advice for seeing any place, but honestly it was a great move! The site is ENORMOUS – so much more than the famous pyramid that we took 1000s of photos of – and goes on for miles. So, the crowd disperses fairly quickly and it doesn’t feel crowded at all. It’s especially spacious around El Castillo and the Great Ball Court (oh, we will learn about the games that happen in these ball courts in the Uxmal/Merida post, just you wait).
that’s a safe bet for anything you see in these sites
Entry to Chichen Itza is 480 pesos per person, and you have to pay in cash. I know you’ve seen information that says it accepts card, but they will tell you it’s cash only. And if you persist, they will tell you you can pay the main fee by card, but you still need to pay the 75 peso “federal fee” portion of the price in cash regardless, so it’s all annoying and just expect to pay cash everywhere even though the touts selling tees and tchotchkes inside the grounds have card payment capacity. At least there are toilets inside the grounds as well as in the entrance hall!
El Castillo and all of Chichen Itza was pretty incredible. I’m so glad I got to see it. I am so lucky and grateful that I got to see all of these spectacular places that I knew mythologically for so long, and I fully do not believe that all of this happened in one day. What a day! Once we closed down Chichen Itza, we got back in the car for the long drive to Merida, where our next adventure awaits.
