Urumqi, China: Qi Qi My Playmate...You're Not So Much Fun To Play Withby Randi / September 16, 2017
So far on our Silk Road journey, the historical evidence of the oasis towns’ roles in the past was there if you went looking amid the modernity – in Dunhuang if you went to the Mogao Caves; in Turpan if you went to the ruins; in Urumqi if you…closed your eyes and imagined it. In Kashgar, however, you’re immediately transported to the ancient times of the Silk Road at its peak just by stepping foot in the city bounds. As soon as we got off the train, we knew this place was special, considered the pinnacle of a Silk Road exploration today for dern good reason. Given how dusty and old-fashioned and straight out of the history books it is, my fondness for Kashgar is surprising to say the least (I hate dust!). But when you see how unique a town it is, how deftly it combines the cultures that converge geographically at its location at the crossroads of central Asia, it’s easy to understand why I loved it.
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Good Morning Baltimore!! Every Day’s Like An Open Door!
How cute are aminal statues?!
Every night is a fantasy! Every sound’s like a symphony! And I love you Baltimore! And one day when I take to the floor, the world’s gonna wake up and seeeeee Baltimore! And me!
You can be sure that I was singing this (the opening number from Hairspray) the entire time I was in Baltimore. It was stuck in my head the whole time, of course! And now, recapping my whirlwind 24 hours of eating, you can be sure it will stay stuck in my head for another 24 hours.
Baltimore is a pretty fun city. I saw barely any of it, due to the short time frame that was already booked with food stops and long walks around the beautiful Johns Hopkins campus (where boyfriend when to school). But what I did see showed an exciting mixture of big city fun and really frightening big city crime. That’s Baltimore for you!
Baltimore is a pretty fun city. I saw barely any of it, due to the short time frame that was already booked with food stops and long walks around the beautiful Johns Hopkins campus (where boyfriend when to school). But what I did see showed an exciting mixture of big city fun and really frightening big city crime. That’s Baltimore for you!
Before we get to the food, I want to share a picture of my favorite tree stump ever. Weird thing, right, to have a favorite tree stump? But this is art! Look at this amazingness! On the Hopkins campus, we saw this tree doing Astavakrasana pose, the yoga posture that has eluded me for years. It was like the tree was saying, “Don’t stop trying! Just be stronger!” Thanks, tree. I don’t understand what it’s for or from (no plaque explaining how in the world this exists), so I’m taking it as a personal message.
This tree stump is doing 8-angle pose, or Astavakrasana. Cool.
Compare. Am I right??? How crazy!
Moving on to the fod! Baltimore had a great vegan scene, with more options than I was expecting (probably because my only exposure to food in Baltimore was, again, Hairspray, with Motormouth Maybelle’s giant but unhealthy spread of pecan pieeeee and ham and chicken. (“Poooour some sugar on me sugar don’t be shyyy!”) I am eager to return because there was so much we didn’t have time for. (If I were traveling with mah vegans, I would have just eaten all day without regard to meal times, but I was with boyfriend and can’t really do that with him. It’ll always be too soon.) Even just driving on Charles Street, we passed a pizza place called HomeSlyce that had written on its exterior “We have VEGAN options!” Amazing! There’s also a pizza place in Fells Point with vegan options, called Bop Brick Oven Pizza. You know how I feel about use of ‘bop’ in every situation, so that’s awesome. It’s not all pizza in Baltimore though! Take a look!
FIRST UP: THE HELMAND
Eating dinner at The Helmand, the great Afghan restaurant, was a primary reason behind this trip to Baltimore. Owned by Quayum Karzai (brother of Hamid, Iknowright), the restaurant was as authentic as it gets, and as delicious. They have a separate vegetarian menu and a staff knowledgeable about what ‘vegan’ means. With great service, nice ambiance, and fantastic food, The Helmand is now my favorite Afghan restaurant.
How do you take pictures in dim lighting? Seriously.
My boyfriend (we gotta think of a code name for him…how about Hawkeye) recalled of his college days that his favorite dish anywhere was The Helmand’s Kaddo Borawni, baked and pan-fried sugared baby pumpkin, served with garlic-yogurt sauce. We obviously had to order it here, with the sauce on the side. I’m pretty sure the sauce is what makes it extraordinary, so mine is not a fair review. However, the plain pumpkin was delicious and cooked perfectly. It also inspired me to make my own, which I will do soon!
For my entree, the waiter pointed out several things that could be made vegan, and recommended the Dolma Murch. I really appreciate waiter recommendations so I listened, and it was amazing! The dish featured red bell peppers stuffed with seasoned vegetables, beans, and wild rice in a tomato and rhubarb sauce (how cool is that). It was served with challow (Afghan rice), which was fantastic, and a side of sabzy (spinach), which I’m always happy to have. The Dolma Murch was so delicious, comforting but still interesting. I couldn’t really taste the rhubarb in the sauce, but that’s probably for the best, letting it contribute to the flavor instead of overpowering it. I enjoyed this so much!
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THE HELMAND, Baltimore
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NEXT UP: THE BREWER’S ART
Despite being super stuffed after dinner, we went right to Hawkeye’s favorite bar, The Brewer’s Art on Charles Street, for supposedly amazing garlic French fries. I know. We didn’t get dessert; we got post-dinner fries. I can get behind this. The Brewer’s Art was a surprisingly nice, comfortable pub with cushy sofas and clean floors. Can’t ask for more than that in a place serving beer. We got the fries, and I ate much more than I thought I had room for. They were amazing! A bit soggier than they should have been, Hawkeye critiqued, but the flavor was great. Oh man!
MORNING STOP: CUTEST JUICE BAR EVER!
Our first stop the next morning was an adorable juice bar I had researched called Grind House. (Like the all-vegan coffeeshop in Philly, Grindcore! Does ‘grind’ mean vegan?) We were (I was) so eager for green juice that we arrived before it opened and waited outside. We had a few minutes to appreciate the too-cute front door and patio furniture:
Our first stop the next morning was an adorable juice bar I had researched called Grind House. (Like the all-vegan coffeeshop in Philly, Grindcore! Does ‘grind’ mean vegan?) We were (I was) so eager for green juice that we arrived before it opened and waited outside. We had a few minutes to appreciate the too-cute front door and patio furniture:
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You might be wondering why a juice bar has to specify ‘vegetarian’. Well, they also have food! Ready-made seitan salads, hummus wraps, fish fillet sandwiches, this place has so much to offer. I ordered a Sweet Greens juice, made with apple, celery, cucumber, kale, lime, and ginger. It tasted great and, better still, 20 oz. was only about $7. I would go here again if I lived nearby. (Luckily I don’t though. It was a pretty sketchy neighborhood! We had bets going about whether the guy looking in our car the whole time was going to steal it.)
LUNCHTIME TREAT: CARMA’S CAFE
No, that’s not Hawkeye
Guys how good is lunch. I mean really. We had two lunches in Baltimore, which was lucky because lunch places seemed to be the hippest around. First we went to Carma’s Cafe, a tiny coffeeshop with maybe 4 tables and a small but versatile menu. I was pleased to see upon entering that they had a few vegan options. I mean, this is a college town after all; I shouldn’t have been so surprised! Well, that’s not entirely true. When I first entered, I talked to the girl at the counter about vegan options. She said she wasn’t sure about the sesame noodles because they had peanut butter…I KNOW. Haha. Just when you think everyone knows that peanut butter doesn’t contain dairy butter, you meet another one. Oh lordy.
Anyway, the girl said that there was an addition to the menu: a vegan BLT! Obviously, when a vegan BLT is on the menu, that’s what you get (as long as a tempeh Reuben isn’t also on the menu). I also ordered a side of the sesame noodles just to prove a point.
Anyway, the girl said that there was an addition to the menu: a vegan BLT! Obviously, when a vegan BLT is on the menu, that’s what you get (as long as a tempeh Reuben isn’t also on the menu). I also ordered a side of the sesame noodles just to prove a point.
The VLT, or vegan BLT. Vegan soy bacon (which tasted an awful lot like coconut bacon), tomato, and mixed spring greens
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I love that the menu items were painted on these hanging plates!
The sandwich was very simple but good, and a nice thing to have after a long ride in the car. It was on white bread, which I don’t like, but the choice made sense given the the lightness and old-classic feel of the sandwich. Definitely a good basic light lunch. The sesame noodles, however, proved that one should never order food merely in protest. They weren’t very flavorful at all. I didn’t even taste peanut butter, just a bit of sesame oil. Next time, I’d choose a salad or cup of soup to accompany a sandwich.
LUNCHTIME TREAT #2: ONE WORLD CAFE
One World Cafe was one of those totally college restaurants, you know what I mean? You could tell that undergrads could roll in the morning after heavy partying for a late breakfast, or come in to read with a big latte in the afternoons, or even take their visiting relatives. It was an appropriate place for all of that. I kind of loved it. The food was great, the vegan items were marked as such, and the benches were cushioned and had extra pillows. Win! We were warned (by the internet) that the service was famously awful, but during our weekday lunch we were without complaint.
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We started with the House Refried Pinto Bean Dip. The menu said it was to be topped with house salsa and fresh cilantro, but we didn’t see any cilantro. No matter, it was still very tasty. It wasn’t exactly earth-shattering, tasting like any other refried bean dip, but it was pretty good and the tortillas were warm. I like beans.
For my main, I ordered the O.W.C. wrap, pretty much the exact wrap I would concoct if I were cooking for myself (but this one actually held together, unlike my attempts at wrapping things). The O.W.C. wrap combined mixed greens, guacamole, tomato, carrots, fresh herbs, and sprouts in a sprouted grain tortilla, served with a garlic herb dressing for dipping that was delicious. It was also served with a tiny side salad and more sprouts. Totally my ideal lunch! It tasted so fresh and clean. Not like soap. Like good food. The green garlic herb dressing was so good; I definitely want to try to recreate it. It was like a gardening smoothie. That’s gross. It was like a great dressing. That’s better. |
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The last thing I HAD to do before leaving Baltimore was of course visit one of the coolest bakeries in the entire world – Charm City Cakes! As in, Duff Goldman’s bakery with the only Food Network show I am willing to watch! They make the most incredible works of art, in cake form. I love seeing what crazy masterpieces they are working on. I aspire to one day be able to afford hiring the bakery to make some insane concoction for a special event. Or just for a Sunday. The sign on the door says that they accept walk-ins on Saturdays. So, go on a Saturday so you can discuss your future creation! (They are vegan-friendly, apparently, which is amazing!) One day…
Apart from not being able to meet Duff and his crew, our 24 hours in Baltimore was overall very successful. We had great food, we saw the beautiful Hopkins area of the city, and we didn’t get robbed or kidnapped. All in all, a very nice trip! I would be happy to return (on a Saturday, of course).
Ireland’s Beautiful Countryside: County Cork (and Ballymaloe)
You know why Ireland is so green? Because it is ALWAYS RAINING. That’s what we learned anyway on our trip through the Irish countryside, on our journey from Cork to Dublin. We spent most of this time exploring County Cork after flying into and enjoying the city of Cork, because the region is home to two of the very special places we had to see: Blarney Castle and Ballymaloe. Also, as Husbo says to everyone going to Ireland, you don’t go for the cities; you go for the countryside, the gorgeous, green-as-heck, rainy-to-make-it-all-so-green countryside. And if I can so enjoy myself when it’s so cold and rainy and my shoulders shoot up so high that I get bodybuilder neck (i.e. no neck) then it must be a special place.
After leaving the city limits, Ireland was almost hilarious in how green it was. I felt like I was on set in a young adult novel from the 1800s. All dem rolling hills! There are tonnes of castles and forts of note to see in the vicinity, but there’s one at the top of every list: Blarney Castle. Drawing tourists by the busfull, Blarney Castle dates back to about 1200AD. It was destroyed and rebuilt in the 15th century but it still counts to say it’s from the 1200s. Over all this time, the castle was besieged and captured and attacked and regained and bewitched and bothered and bewildered and everything that castles should expect to experience, over and over, so now it’s mostly a ruin. But some parts of it are still accessible to tourists, including the thing everyone is coming to see – the Blarney Stone.
This is not the Blarney Stone this is a sign with spelling that I enjoyed
The Blarney Stone, I’ve since learned, is part of a machicolation, which means it’s a floor opening in battlements through which shit like boiling oil (yikes) or stones could be dropped down on attackers. But that’s a much darker context than we’ve all accepted. The acceptable history of the Stone is that this limestone block above the floor opening of a particularly high battlement will give those who kiss it the gift of eloquence. And that’s why strangers for centuries have shared germs on an old piece of rock. The real legend says that the 15th century rebuilder of the castle, Cormac McCarthy (fork I thought he looked old for the earth but I guess he’s aging remarkably well), was involved in a lawsuit and sought assistance from the goddess Cliodhna. (Pretty.) The goddess told the beloved author to kiss the first stone he saw on his way to court, and lo and behold he was supes eloquent and he won his case, and the Pulitzer Prize. The Stone was then built into the castle walls.
Another story has to do with Robert the Bruce, apparently gifting the stone to Cormac for his help in a battle that occurred like way before the latter was born at a time when neither of them would have been alive so we’re going to table that one for now.
Obviously all the stories are a load of bullshirt; the real reason we share stranger germs on a stone is because it’s The Thing To Do. So we did it. And this is not just some stone you can walk by and kiss as you tour the castle. Remember I said before, it’s part of a floor opening in the battlements. The Blarney Stone is across the open bit from where you stand, and it’s not on the ground floor. So to kiss it, you sit down on the edge, an assistant holds your torso, and you lean backwards and down so you Spider-Man kiss it while like in a wheel pose. It is super awkward to get into the right position and understand what you’re supposed to do with your body. And it is VERY scary. I am not scared of heights (not more than is necessary) but I was very shaky when I performed this yoga of the insane.
See it was pretty high! and so pretty!
“Oh okay this isn’t so bad!”
“wait WHAT am I supposed to do?!”
I’m glad I did The Thing but damn if I ever want to relive that.
To let you get your breath back afterwards, the castle features a beautiful garden on its grounds, perfect for strolling around in the rain.
And to remind you of the crazy thing you just did beforehand, all the plants are deadly.
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So fun! Don’t eat poison!
We carried on our way through County Cork (I love saying that like the cast of The Ferryman) to another so fun and so Irish Must Do Thing – a stay at Ballymaloe.
Ballymaloe House is a hotel and restaurant, and nearby they have a cookery school (that’s how we say it in the Isles) and a grain store and the most incredible garden I’ve ever seen. Like every single vegetable you could want, they have growing out there. Meanwhile my windowsill basil died. Ballymaloe is a beloved historical treasure, which Myrtle and Ivan Allen opened in 1964 to show off to the world Irish Country cuisine and hospitality. It’s the best place to stay when you’re out in the countryside because it’s like The Place, historic and beloved. Our room was so sweet and cozy and it felt so appropriate to stay there while in Ireland.
peep those bottles of water tho!
Ballymaloe is renowned for its five-course dinners and its roster of high caliber chefs and cooking students, so dinner was pretty nice. When we went, they weren’t super used to vegan accommodations but said that they of course could feed me. They started me off with a vegetable soup that was lovely (as really any vegetable soup is) and a salad with pomegranates, so even if it ended here I would have been happy.
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There was also great bread (more on that later!) so like, reals happy. As for my main course, it was a nonexciting but nonthreatening rice pilaf with spinach and roasted squash and a cranberry chutney jawn that did not really go. It was fine (I’m fiiine), but I think going back now they would be able to whip up something much more exciting.
And I did get a good dessert! Oh first up I got a palate cleanser of fruit sorbet, which is fun. You don’t get that all that often.
My real dessert though was a chocolate carrageenan pudding! Carrageenan is a seaweed that is used as a thickener. For the pudding, an Irish classic as we were told, they cook the seaweed quickly and then let it soak until it exudes lots of jelly-like substance (fun! not gross!) and then you take the jelly and mix it with milk and sugar and stuff. Mine was chocolate yay and topped with strawberries and dark chocolate ribbons.
Overall it wasn’t the most interesting meal, but considering it was an accommodation at an institution, I was fine with it. It’s the whole experience you go there for, not just the food. At dinner that night, Myrtle Allen was seated right next to our table. She has recently passed away, so it was really special to get to meet her.
I was so excited about the carrageenan pudding being a real thing that I bought little bags of carrageenan in the Ballymaloe gift shop! We also bought a signed copy of Myrtle Allen’s cookbook (which I included a picture of because I had one). The best part of the gift shop was obviously the best part of anything on earth: the shop doggie. I pet the doggie for a while, along with two children that I did not talk to.
We also made a visit to the cooking school a few kilometers away. The grounds are lovely but pretty vast, and it wasn’t so lovely when we had to retrace all of our many steps to find our lost keys! The gardens there and on the main Ballymaloe property are real goals. I almost snatched some of the chard because it’s hard to find in London but I didn’t.
i snatch you!
My favorite thing we did at Ballymaloe was take a cooking class! They have a few on offer and we decided to do the bread making class because we love bread so g-d much. It was so much fun. We made a few loaves of Irish soda bread to be served at that day’s breakfast, so now I know how to make that up right good. I should make that today. The recipe they use wasn’t vegan though, so they also had us made a really great brown bread so that there was bread I could eat at breakfast too. It was a suuuuper liquidy bread batter and they had me mix it by hand so it was hilarious but also like I was wearing long sleeves. I guess that was my bad though. Anyway bread is great. I was sad that we weren’t making loaves for our own taking but we still had several days of travel left so I guess it’s okay.
more like Edward GROSShands AM I RIGHT
“What do you mean we have to share our bread with other guests??”
FACE MAN’S BACK!
So our time in County Cork was loverly, a great opportunity to disconnect from our day-to-day and enjoy nature. And rain. If you’re going to Ireland, you’re going to Blarney Castle probably, and if so, you should pay Ballymaloe a visit.
This tree is TOO TINY FOR TWO BIRDS!!!!
