Love From Philly: Charlie was a sinner. Elevates Philly's Vegan Sceneby Randi / September 27, 2014
Philly’s best Chinese restaurant is actually the best Chinese restaurant in the country. Important and wise critics actually say that, not just me, and everyone I know who has eaten at Han Dynasty agrees. Offering an authentic, super-spicy Szechuan-based cuisine, it’s so far from your usual Chinese restaurant that you probably won’t know where to begin. Luckily, I’m here to help. The menu is a favorite of omnivores but there is so much insane food for vegans to eat that I consider this one of my top vegan recommendations for Philly and the surrounding area (they have several outputs in the burbs and in NYC now, so famous).
The menu is set up to be user-friendly, with spice rankings from 1 to 10 accompanying each dish (the 10s are mind-blowing, and will melt your face; so will some 5s) so you know what you are getting into. Making Han Dynasty super vegan friendly is that each dish is described in terms of how its made and how its seasoned, and then you choose what protein you want it based around (I know, I hate using that word like that but it works). Tofu is available as the protein in the majority of dishes, so vegans unite! Also, Han himself is really nice and helpful. Well, now he’s like the new it-boy of the restaurant world (and now NYC claims Handy as its own), but back when he actually worked in the Old City Philly kitchen, he was always willing to talk about what was vegan and what was not. Thankfully, there is so much besides the many tofu-based entrees for us to eat. (Also the twitter account is @handynastyphila and so I refer to this restaurant as Handy in shorthand. Best lack of punctuation.)
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The #1 dish at Han Dynasty is how everyone I know always starts the meal: the Spicy Crispy Cucumber. It’s not crispy from frying; it’s crispy because it’s the freshest cucumber you’ve ever eaten, and it’s the most perfectly prepared raw cucumber you can imagine. I think even people who don’t like cucumber would go nuts over this dish. The spicy part is not a joke. The cucumber is bathed in a sort-of sweet, exceedingly hot yet light chili marinade. After the cucumber is gone, I always want to drink what’s leftover in the bowl because it’s that good. (I don’t because I don’t want to destroy my insides.) One day, I will successfully recreate how magical this dish is, but for now, you have to leave it in Handy’s hands…ies.
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My other favorites (I mean everything I’ve had is a favorite, but these are things I’ll order every single time) are the Cold Sesame Noodles and the Dan Dan Noodles without pork. (Specify that you want them without pork and vegetarian.) The sesame noodles are a classic that I’m sure you’ve had before, but these are the best you can ever imagine. Last time I was here, we ordered multiple bowls even though we were too full to finish other dishes. Definitely over-order these because everyone will keep eating them past fullness, and also they are amazing out of the fridge the next day. As for the Dan Dan, if you are familiar with Szechuan, you know that these noodles are super important and vital to the cuisine. They are amazing. Oh my goodness. I don’t know what’s in them, because the internet shows me that Dan Dan is usually in a broth full of mustard greens, but Handy’s are in more of a thin paste. Regardless, these are incredible and you must eat them. Also – it’s an 8 spice level. And an 8 feels like a 10.
Recently, I actually tried a new noodle. (In addition, obviously, not as a replacement.) I ordered the mung bean noodles in black bean sauce (another 8 spice level). While I didn’t get the black bean sauce aspect (I may have just been given the other mung bean noodle dish), I did like the strange as hell consistency of the noodles themselves. They are soft and gelatinous; you cannot pick them up with chopsticks (they cut right through) and a fork only barely does the job. I don’t know, I like having to work for my food I guess. Anyway, they were very interesting and cool, but if you can’t handle three noodle dishes, stick to the two above.
Now let’s get to the entrees. I am obsessed beyond words and beyond belief with Handy’s tofu. No matter what form you get it in, the tofu is the densest, most perfectly chewy and strong I have ever encountered. I don’t know what they do to make it so superb. It’s like it was pressed for years.
Now let’s get to the entrees. I am obsessed beyond words and beyond belief with Handy’s tofu. No matter what form you get it in, the tofu is the densest, most perfectly chewy and strong I have ever encountered. I don’t know what they do to make it so superb. It’s like it was pressed for years.
Above is the Hot Sauce Style tofu, chock full of scallions, some kind of green, and the largest amount of chili and peppercorns I’ve ever seen in one dish. Can you even believe that? There were more peppercorns in the chili oil below the top bed of food. This was a 7, by the way, and my mouth was on fire for a long time. I love how amazingly hot everything is while still having a wonderful taste. That’s super hard to do.
Another one of my favorites is the Garlic Sauce Tofu, which is perfect if you cannot handle the vast amount of chili oil and heat in most of the other dishes. This dish is kind of sweet and sour, with wood ear mushrooms, bamboo, ginger, garlic, and peppers. It’s really delicious, as everything is here, and it’s a great option.
However, my top recommendation is the Long Hot Pepper Style Tofu. Oh my gosh. This is where Handy’s magic tofu shines brightest. It’s a very simple dish, with the perfect long strips of tofu mixed with long green hot peppers in a very light stir fry sauce. It’s only a spice level 3, but it seems a tad higher, and the taste is so perfect that it doesn’t even matter.
Another one of my favorites is the Garlic Sauce Tofu, which is perfect if you cannot handle the vast amount of chili oil and heat in most of the other dishes. This dish is kind of sweet and sour, with wood ear mushrooms, bamboo, ginger, garlic, and peppers. It’s really delicious, as everything is here, and it’s a great option.
However, my top recommendation is the Long Hot Pepper Style Tofu. Oh my gosh. This is where Handy’s magic tofu shines brightest. It’s a very simple dish, with the perfect long strips of tofu mixed with long green hot peppers in a very light stir fry sauce. It’s only a spice level 3, but it seems a tad higher, and the taste is so perfect that it doesn’t even matter.
Ugh it’s amazing. Can you even believe that that is tofu? Because I can’t. So delicious! This one is also great to eat straight from the fridge the next day.
There are plenty of vegetable sides in case you somehow didn’t order enough food. My favorite is the bok choy with black mushrooms. Seriously, Handy has the most incredibly thick mushrooms I’ve ever had. They are perfection.
There are plenty of vegetable sides in case you somehow didn’t order enough food. My favorite is the bok choy with black mushrooms. Seriously, Handy has the most incredibly thick mushrooms I’ve ever had. They are perfection.
I crave Han Dynasty so often and I already miss it, even though I had it just days before I moved. Do me a favor and go immediately if you are in the Philly area. I have been to most of the new suburban outposts of the restaurant, and they all pretty much have the same menu and, more importantly, consistency in deliciousness across the board.
HAN DYNASTY, PHILADELPHIA (et al.)
Water speed: Great! It is a Chinese restaurant, after all!
Service: See above.
Bathrooms: There’s usually just one, which kind of sucks because everyone is drinking so much water to counter the spice.
Food: The best Szechuan outside of China. Maybe in China as well; feel free to sponsor a test trip for me.
Bonus: The best tofu you’ve ever had in your life.
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Vegan Michelin: The Most Epic (& Vegan!) Meal at Alinea, Chicago
As a vegan, I don’t feel much incentive to follow the fancy world of gourmet-level dining, what with their Zagat ratings and Michelin stars and whatever other rankings people in that spectrum of dining covet. In fact, there was a time when all I knew about Michelin stars came from the movie “Ratatouille”. (Great film.) I’m sure it’s interesting to some people, but it sounded odd to rank something as subjective as good food. Moreover, aside from the ratatouille, the honored restaurants and their prize dishes are pretty much the opposite of vegan-friendly. Why would I ever want to go to a restaurant that was lauded for its foie gras, or thought it was commendable to do weird things to all kinds of animals? Nope.
However, my boyfriend is into all of that, and while he goes to those places with friends, I felt a little bad that he couldn’t enjoy these places with me. I’m fun company. But then we were planning a trip to Chicago, and he wanted to go to Alinea. He wanted to go there BAD. So bad, in fact, that he scoured the internet trying to find something that said they could accommodate a vegan. Luckily, he didn’t have to search too long, thanks to the lovely Lagusta, who in 2009 blogged about the vegan menu at Alinea. That’s right – anyone can request a vegan menu at a freaking top world restaurant with freaking THREE MICHELIN STARS. I was in! (I mean, I wasn’t paying. Of course I was in.)
However, my boyfriend is into all of that, and while he goes to those places with friends, I felt a little bad that he couldn’t enjoy these places with me. I’m fun company. But then we were planning a trip to Chicago, and he wanted to go to Alinea. He wanted to go there BAD. So bad, in fact, that he scoured the internet trying to find something that said they could accommodate a vegan. Luckily, he didn’t have to search too long, thanks to the lovely Lagusta, who in 2009 blogged about the vegan menu at Alinea. That’s right – anyone can request a vegan menu at a freaking top world restaurant with freaking THREE MICHELIN STARS. I was in! (I mean, I wasn’t paying. Of course I was in.)
Our seating area was really dark, so the pictures aren’t great, but there is a pretty amazing video at the end showing the epic final dessert. I’ll do my best to remember what we had, but mostly it’s just all a blur of happiness to the point of near-comatose mind-blowingness.
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First, the menu. It’s so vague, I’m obsessed. Any other restaurant and I’d be like, could you put another word in there so I have any idea what you’re talking about? I mean — do you see the one about halfway through? It just says ‘fennel’ and then TWENTY QUESTION MARKS!!! What the what?! But it’s cool because it was all as awe inspiring as food can be.
Also, at the end of your meal, they give you a copy of your menu in a black folder. How nice! When we sat down, this ice block was on our table, on a bed of stones. We thought it was just a weirdly appropriate centerpiece for a molecular gastronomy restaurant, but it came into play with our food! I think…it’s hard to remember because of the aforementioned hallucinatory blur of amazingness. So, we’re going to mostly rely on pictures.
The fun of molecular gastronomy really came through in this early dish. First, that tall glass arrived with that white vegetable balancing on top. You were to let it marinate while we ate other things, and then drop it onto that black rock (which was 1000 degrees) on the sand in the other glass to cook. Then, you dipped it into the sauce in the coconut shell. I appreciated being allowed to play with my food like an adult.
I don’t really remember what was happening here, but I do know that it is ON FIRE. I love this picture, because crazy stuff was happening at every table as meals progressed, yet the other diners seemed business-like. I think they were just trying to act cool and stoic but inside were like Ahh fire!!! Oh except for the two little girls at the table next to us – yes, some family came with two children. To Alinea. And the kids were picky and so ate little of the amazing stuff put in front of them. I just…can’t…no.
I’m not really sure what this picture is of, but it was great, I’m sure. Then, we had a little palate cleanser of pineapple slush. 
Chunks of pineapple with ice crystals that melted into a slush
This bowl at right was so funny because it was eerily reminiscent of puffed wheat cereal, like Sugar Smacks without the sugar. A fancy and delicious soupy version, of course, mixed with herbs and some vegetable.
The next section of our dining experience was my favorite savory part. See my plate, at right? Well, you were to mix each bite with two or three pieces from the below chess board of deliciousness, to create your own insane combinations. It was SO fun and so incredible. |
That Fennel line still makes me laugh
I have no idea what this is, but it was delicious
Sugarless Smacks!
Each perfectly cooked vegetable was to be paired with whatever you fancied on the huge slab below
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Smorgasbord!
How cool is this! These little bites were incredible. See that white pillar in the upper left corner? It was like sweet delicious chalk. I don’t know what they freeze-dried to make it, but it blew my mind. So many little fried vegetables, purees and gels of wonderment. I’m obsessed. Also, this entire plate is vegan! Molecular gastronomy is so vegan friendly, because it’s so weird, I guess.
And then it just continued in its amazingness. The next two dishes were like ravioli, already on a spoon. Just one piece (raviolo, then), but it’s all you need. These bites, especially the one on the right, exploded with the most perfectly matched flavors I’ve ever encountered.
And then it just continued in its amazingness. The next two dishes were like ravioli, already on a spoon. Just one piece (raviolo, then), but it’s all you need. These bites, especially the one on the right, exploded with the most perfectly matched flavors I’ve ever encountered.
I don’t know what you were, but I loved you
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The most perfect raviolo in the world
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The final savory dish (well, at least that I took a picture of! There was so much more! But I didn’t have a blog yet, so you can’t be mad) was this wooden slab of mushrooms, grain crumbs? orange? and foam that evoked a lovely meal in a remote log cabin, probably with Ron Swanson if he ever cooked more than meat. I can’t describe how excited I was for a decent amount of foam, because pretty much all I knew about molecular gastronomy going in was the use of foams.
If Ron Swanson were vegan
How good does that look! It tasted even better, obviously, with the mushrooms, foams, spiced crumbles, and that crispy green leaf blending together so well it was like it was sponsored by Vitamix. Such a great finish.
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Or so we thought. We figured we’d have one or two dessert-y courses, but no. After the above plate, we got FOUR more wonderful things to eat. First, we had this great palate cleanser of five different pieces of ginger. I love ginger, so this wiry thing being placed in front of me made me really happy. Some pieces were sweet, some were really spicy. It was the best thing to have between the savory and dessert courses.
And then even more magic happened, each round more entertaining than the last. Next up were a few dollops of puddings surrounding a fruity liquid that you drank with that silver straw pictured. |
Pieces of ginger
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I loved this dessert. I loved that you could drink the liquid inside, which was light and refreshing and not too sweet. On the dish, there was a sesame-laden blob, a fruity red blob, and this blob of rice pudding, made with rice milk, that was superb. In fact, my boyfriend, who got the regular omnivore menu, got a rice pudding that he said was yogurt-y and tart, and not as good as mine. He even suggested to the staff that the vegan version replace the regular one, because it was that much better!
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The next thing is just hilarious. It’s a balloon. A balloon made of green apple taffy filled with helium, so all night we saw waiters carrying actually floating balloons throughout the restaurant, and people got to eat them. It was so much fun. Insanely messy (taffy all over your face, pretty much), but fun. We were instructed to ‘kiss’ the balloon and then suck the helium out, mainly so the waiters could laugh when we talked and sounded like chipmunks! Then, with the taffy balloon deflated all over our faces (tip: put your hair back), we could eat it. My face automatically puckers at the mere thought of sour fruit candy like Sour Patch Kids and the like, but this had the right levels of sweet and sour. (I mean, obviously it’s going to be better than commercial candy.)
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The final dessert was just epic. A team of waitstaff removed everything from our table, rearranged the table, chairs, and us, and covered the table with a silicon mat. Then came the head chef, alerting us, “You’ll probably want to take a video of this.” Thanks to him, here is the video for your envy-filled pleasure. You can kind of hear him explaining what the purees are, what the liquid nitrogen-spewing ball is holding, and what the chocolate crumbles are made of. It’s mostly like insane astronaut style ice cream but much better.
Dinner at Alinea was without a doubt the most…the most. Like Jack Donaghy in college, it’s getting voted just ‘most.’ If you ever have the opportunity to eat here, do it. It’s mad expensive, and it’s hard to say it’s worth it when it costs more than, like, rent, but if you can swing it, it’s absolutely worth it. I’m not even going to do my usual little roundup of water/service/food/bathroom because obviously this was beyond known ranges. Amazing!
These Double Caramel Waffle Cookies Taste Like Your Childhood!
Not that I know what your childhood was like, let alone what the defining tastes of it were, but I’m assuming these will give you such nostalgia you’ll be compelled to call your best friend from day camp.
This evening, I felt compelled to make caramel cookies with these fancy new accidentally vegan products (caramel extract and caramel chips!! score!) I found. I winged a recipe, expecting (hoping?) to test a few batches to get it right, but I loved the first ones! As I bit into my first of many, I realized oh my god I know this taste! But what was it? It was CHILDHOOD .
This evening, I felt compelled to make caramel cookies with these fancy new accidentally vegan products (caramel extract and caramel chips!! score!) I found. I winged a recipe, expecting (hoping?) to test a few batches to get it right, but I loved the first ones! As I bit into my first of many, I realized oh my god I know this taste! But what was it? It was CHILDHOOD .
But telling myself “it’s just childhood!” wasn’t going to cut it. I needed to figure out what it was! I had vague flashes of memories of eating really fast breakfasts before going to, well, day camp. But that wasn’t a lot to go on, except to recall that I was around age 8 because I went to overnight camp at age 10 like a badass mofo. So hmm what did I used to eat for breakfast when I was 8? Oh yes! Microwave pancakes and Eggo waffles!! These taste like microwave breakfast doughs? That isn’t a huge selling point, I guess. Also it isn’t exactly right. We are getting closer though!
Luckily, husband came home and tried one and said, in the nicest way, that it tasted like cheap maple syrup, or really cheap pancake syrup that has no real maple in it. Yes! That’s it! These cookies, these magical flashback cookies, taste like the melted butter-cheap pancake syrup mixture my mom would make my brother and me for our microwave pancakes and waffles! THE BEST THING EVER! IN COOKIE FORM! Hence why I’m calling them waffle cookies. They taste like the waffles of childhood. Cue the music.
Luckily, husband came home and tried one and said, in the nicest way, that it tasted like cheap maple syrup, or really cheap pancake syrup that has no real maple in it. Yes! That’s it! These cookies, these magical flashback cookies, taste like the melted butter-cheap pancake syrup mixture my mom would make my brother and me for our microwave pancakes and waffles! THE BEST THING EVER! IN COOKIE FORM! Hence why I’m calling them waffle cookies. They taste like the waffles of childhood. Cue the music.
CARAMEL WAFFLE COOKIES
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Makes about 9 cookies
Ingredients:
Directions:
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 I continue to post pictures of the steps just because I know you love it  This is what stuff looks like while baking in an oven aren’t you pleased I’m sharing?  ME WANT COOKIE |
For those in the London area, the products I used are Dr Oetker’s caramel flavor (I’m sorry, flavour) and random caramel chips from Kosher Kingdom in Golders Green (that shop is a veritable gold mine of accidentally vegan baking chip flavours). For those in America, if you can’t find your own versions, I’d be happy to bring you some in January if you want to meet me in NYC. It’ll cost you either the price of a Broadway show ticket OR enough food to satisfy me at Cinnamon Snail. Hahahah you think you know which one’s cheaper! That’s adorable!
