Vegan Southern Feast: Sausage Okra Gumbo, Bacon Cornbread, Maple Bourbon Sweet Potatoes, Perfect Brussels Sprouts

August 14, 2015

Dishoom: London’s Hippest Restaurant Pretty Good For Vegans

May 7, 2015

Not that I’m an expert on what the cool kids are up to, but when a restaurant is a) in Shoreditch and b) has at least an hour wait even on a Tuesday evening, I’m pretty confident in calling it the hippest. Especially when the majority of people in the mass waiting in line to get in are wearing jean shorts and black tights. So hip in these parts.

My marked-up menu, courtesy of the most helpful waitress

And Dishoom in Shoreditch (it also has two locations more westerly but East London is for the cooler people) is actually worth standing in that queue for. Billing itself as a Bombay Cafe, its spectacular street-food inspired-ish Indian food stands out in the sea of Indian food that composes East London. Unlike the majority of nearby Indian restaurants, you can feel secure as a vegan that what you’re ordering is, in fact, vegan. (I’ve had too many restaurant hawkers on Brick Lane (what are they called?) tell me a little too assuredly not to worry about the ghee.) The first time I went to Dishoom, when I asked my waitress what I could have as a vegan, she whipped out a pen and marked up my entire menu with her notes. It was hilarious and so sweet! Now, I’ve discovered that they have a whole separate dairy-free menu, showing items that are already dairy-free and what could easily be made dairy-free, so it’s a breeze to use that menu and just look for the items marked (v) for vegetarian. Yayyy fun game.
The thing to know about eating at Dishoom is that, if you are doing it right, your mouth will be on fire. Or at least by London standards. It’s hard to find legitimately spicy foods at mainstream restaurants here — they’ll be like, are you sure you want the 3 bells level of spicy wow it’s so spicy, and then it’ll be something you barely taste. And I’m on the wimpier side spicy-wise, so I’m not exaggerating. But Dishoom gets it so right. Some of the stuff (like the gunpowder potatoes, aptly named) is pretty killer, yet the taste of the spice outshines the heat of the spice, which is so important. So good! Oh, also, the other thing to know is that it’s pretty much the darkest restaurant I’ve ever not seen. Like scary ridiculously goth dark, so my pictures are even worse than usual if possible! Wheee! Let’s see what to order.

Watermelon is safe

First off, the drinks. When you’re about halfway through your wait, you’ll probably have made it to the bar waiting area, where you are given beepers that beep when your table is ready beep beep. Dishoom’s bar has a pretty lovely non-alcoholic section, mainly because it exists, which is rare here. Do yourself a favor and get the watermelon sharbat, which is fresh watermelon muddled with mint, lime, and sea salt and served over ice. It’s REALLY good, and it’s not very sweet, which is perfect if you are a respectable person with a pink drink and not a drunken foo’ on a hen party with a pink drink. Do yourself another favor and DON’T I repeat DON’T be tempted to get the Kala Khatta Sharbat, even though you’re intrigued, even though the bartender LITERALLY tells you that he doesn’t want to make it for you because you will hate it and how can you ignore how tempting that shit is, even when he really begs you and your friends not to try it, even when he begrudgingly concedes that it’s his job to make what you want and that you can try it if you really want to but that you will really still hate it. He’s right, yall. IT’S AWFUL. It’s kokum fruit juice which apparently is in the mangosteen family according to webs but I’d believe it was part of the this-tastes-like-burnt-wood family, chilli (yes, in your drink), citrus (that’s okay), and FREAKING BLACK SALT. Yeah, like the crap we vegans add to shit to make it taste all sulphury like freaking disgusting eggs, they put in this drink. That’s not even the best part: the menu says this mishmash of ingredients better served for making a table are “left to rest” before being strained over ice. It “will take you straight back to Chowpatty beach”, they promise, which now I believe is a threat. Moral of story, don’t get that, even though I’m pretty sure you’re going to try it now because human impulse.

Moving on. The best things, as in any restaurant, are the starters. I will always start with the same things at Dishoom because they are so good: the veg samosa, obviously; the okra fries, even more obviously; and the bhel, not obviously at all because what even is that? My friend the Wayfarer (who is Indian and therefore an expert on Indian food and she really liked Dishoom so there) ordered the bhel one time and I’m obsessed now. It’s like a really interesting bowl of cereal if you added both sweet and savory things and were like, what am I doing, this makes no sense, but it’s delicious. It’s puffed grains with pomegranate seeds, which sounds perfect, but then onions and tomatoes, which is like whaaat, and then lime, tamarind, and mint seasonings and the thing’s just crazy enough to work. It’s really addictive! I would never have thought to try such a messed up bowl of cereal but I’m so glad I did. As for the samosas and the okra fries, come on, it’s fried goodness, get like 4 orders of each and you’ll be okay. Oh also the menu description for the okra fries reads “Fine lady’s fingers for the fingers”. So that’s a plus, I think.

Okra fries, the only good picture because Wayfaring Siv took it, and she’s a freaking award-winning travel photographer who was positively slummin’ it taking pics of my food so yeah it’s actually visible

Samosas, better than samoas or vice vs.? Discuss.

Bhel is belle

I also have enjoyed the Far Far in the past, which is described as “carnival snackery”, colorful fried crackery things that are salty and somehow lemony. But they are easily found in my nearby ethnic groceries so they’re not my restaurant constants.
The fun continues with the more-substantial-but-still-small plates. We get to eat vegetables now, with both kachumber and ‘a bowl of greens’. The bowl of greens is usually too overdressed and vinegary and salty for my taste, but I get it every time because I need greens at every meal or I get grumpers. It’s spinach, snow peas, and broccoli with lime and chili, and sometimes it has too much lime, sometimes too much chili. It’s not the most consistent dish on the menu, but it is the most green.
The kachumber is the classic salad that every Eastern culture has, what I’ve always known as Israeli salad but everyone knows as someone else’s. It’s tomato, cucumber, and onion chopped up. You know it. It goes well in falafel wraps. You’re probably thinking, oh kachumber is a cute name that kind of sounds like cucumber, I see why they chose it. No, it actually means beating someone up nicely. Okay monster man.

Bowl of greens to the left, all you greens to the box on the left or something like that I don’t know

Gunpowder potatoes

I’m pretty sure the most-ordered item at Dishoom is the gunpowder potatoes. I am not basing this on any research or you know even asking an employee, just going by what I believe in. Potatoes are good. These are super spicy potatoes, skins on, smoky and grilled till they crack apart and then tossed with seeds and herbs. They are normally tossed with butter as well, but the dairy-free menu assures you that they can be made without. Given the strength of the dry heat the potatoes give off (like Austin!), I bet butter helps calm the spiciness. If I’m right, that means the dairy-free potatoes are even hotter and more gunpowdery, so vegans are badasses. Nice.

My big bowl of beans, every time

So as you can see, the small plates at Dishoom are pretty great and numerous. Unfortunately, there’s really only one entree for vegans, but it’s really delicious: the Rajma-Chawal. It’s a little cast iron pot (but an enormous portion) of slow-cooked and deeply spiced red kidney beans in a thick, dark red sauce, served over basmati rice and topped with fresh herbs. It’s really good, considering it’s what you’re kind of forced to order. I’m still not upset about the lack of entree options at Dishoom because these damn beans are so delicious, and because by this point in the meal I’m stuffed to the gills anyway of fried littles and random tomato cereal. What I am upset about is that the basmati rice is the only rice or bread accompaniment that is vegan-friendly. No naan here. But that’s okay when there’s a decent offering of vegan dishes at a place where all your omnivore friends will be dying to go, and that’s the best part: Not only is Dishoom the place to see and be seen, maybe, at least regarding hipsters, but it’s the perfect place for a mixed group of eaters.

DISHOOM, SHOREDITCH, LONDON
Water speed: Oh London, please stop it with these little tumblers that are the length of my pinky.
Service: Decent and helpful, but they are hard to flag down because this place is always super heaving with a constantly moving crowd. Such crowd.
Bathrooms: There’s never a line (yay) because there are at least 5 stalls, but they have that weird England-basement-but-sort-of-also-the-camp-kitchen smell.
Food: Good, fun, spicy.
Bonus: It’s like being in an ad for Topshop with all those stockings and shorts combos and all those big floppy hats even at night and all those men with ironic beards and my god I’m surrounded by hipsters.

VeganMOFO Veganizing “Friends”: Rachel’s English Trifle

September 12, 2013

My main theme for VeganMoFo 2013 is to veganize some of the dishes featured on one of my all-time favorite TV shows, “Friends”. As those of you not living under rocks should know, Monica was a professional chef, so we have some interesting & fancy dishes coming up in the next few weeks. However, I had to start not with one of Monica’s amazing creations, but with perhaps the most famous dish of the ten years of the series’ run…and perhaps the most famous TV dish of all time (yes I went there): Rachel’s English Trifle, or the Thanksgiving Cockup.

If you aren’t familiar with it, watch this:

Yup, this is what we’re making. I KNOW! At first, I considered making the Shepherd’s Pie portion out of dessert-type foods that could just resemble beef sauteed with peas and onions. Cacao nibs in sweet cream with little green candies, crushed chocolate cookies with chopped mint leaves in a chocolate sauce, and more were among my ideas for how I could chicken out of this. But I realized of course that I just HAD to go all out. (Also, when I ran the idea by some friends, they were adamant that I do it the gross way. My friends are smart.) Otherwise, what’s the point? What’s the point of making delicious custard and cake if you can’t destroy it with faux beef with peas and force your family to eat it?

So here we go. We’re in this together now. (Except of course I’m the one who has to eat it.)

First, I made the custard. I roughly used the cream recipe from the Banana Cream Pie recipe in Vegan Pie in the Sky. I boiled a mix of almond milk and agar, then more almond milk and cornstarch, and then sugar (half turbinado half powdered). Then I blended it with silken tofu, coconut oil, and vanilla. It didn’t thicken as it should have, but luckily I made it yesterday, and a day in the fridge helped it set. You can make any kind of vanilla cream or custard you want.

I also made a small batch of vanilla cream frosting for the top layer. This is going to be awesome.

Oh right, you’re here for the beef part. I sauteed a handful or two of red onion in a bit of olive oil with some frozen peas, and added in Gardein beef cubes. It would be nice on its own…but that’s not what we’re here for.

For the two layers of ladyfingers, I decided to make a denser vanilla cake than usual, and then break it into small square pieces in the trifle. I just winged a recipe, and it actually turned out really well. I’m learning!

The actual dish calls for jam and raspberries, but I only had fresh strawberries on hand, so I used strawberry jam to complement it. You can use whatever combination of berries and jam that you want. (Wait, are you actually going to make this?)

COMPONENTS

1 batch vanilla custard or cream of choice
1 batch vanilla frosting
2 vanilla layer cakes
1 C berries
1/2 C jam
1 (small) batch faux beef cubes sauteed with peas & onions

Cake recipe

DRY INGREDIENTS:

2C flour
1C sugar
1T cornstarch
2t baking powder
1/2t salt

WET INGREDIENTS:

1C milk
2t apple cider vinegar
1/3C canola oil

Directions: Preheat oven to 350.
Let the milk and ACV curdle in a measuring cup for 5 minutes.

Mix together in a large bowl all dry ingredients.
Add the oil to the milk/ACV mixture, then add that to the bowl of dry ingredients until mixed. Don’t try to overmix, but if you do it’s NBD because we’re going for denser cake.

Bake for about 25 minutes, until the toothpick test works.
Once cooled, cut into small squares.

FOR THE VANILLA FROSTING:
INGREDIENTS:

3C confectioners sugar
1/2C Earth Balance butter (or margarine of choice)
1/2C Earth Balance coconut spread (to balance the flavor)
2t vanilla extract

Directions: Mix all ingredients with hand blender until they become frosting.

FOR LABOEUF (NOT SHIA):

1C Gardein beef cubes
1t olive oil
1/2 small onion
handful frozen peas

Directions: You know how to do this, you just don’t want to.

NOW LET’S GET TO LAYERING THIS BITCH!

Put down a layer of the cake squares
Cover that layer with your jam of choice
Then, spread down most of your homemade custard
Top the custard with your berries, and more custard if you want
ADD YOUR MEAT AND PEAS YO
Top with more custard, more jam if you want (Joey would be happy with that improvement), then the vanilla frosting, and bananas
VOILA!

Let’s see all that in action:

You can see the beef and peas socializing with the vanilla frosting up top, it all got very messy

THIS WAS SO GROSS. I forced myself to eat a piece, obviously, and I’m so nauseous. The things I do in the name of MoFo! I couldn’t force my family to try it though. I couldn’t even successfully explain to my mom why I was adding beef to the beautiful and otherwise delicious dessert. I said, “Don’t you remember the ‘Friends’ episode when Rachel makes the trifle and messes it up?” And she said, “Yeah I remember.” And I said, “I’m doing that! For MoFo! It’s my theme to make stuff from “Friends”. And she said, “Okay…I don’t get it.” Sigh. I hope you guys do, because if ate this shite for no reason I’ma cry. (No, I’d probably vomit first, because that might happen anyway.)

You bastards want proof that I ate this, don’t you!!! As if my nausea isn’t enough, my Elphaba-like face color. Fine! Here you go. This picture is the piece I ate FOR YOU. You’re welcome. So anyway, how do you wanna pay me?* (Your line: Is this a service you’re providing me?!) (NB: guess the source of this line and gimme some deets and you get Giveaway Points! Alternatively, just say something awesome. Do both, and like crazy things could happen to both of us.)

I still can’t believe I successfully constructed and ate the famous English Trifle/Shepherd’s Pie. Could I BE any more like Rachel Green?

You can see the layers a bit more clearly in the picture. Yes, that’s a tiny piece of clingfilm under the beef, but that’s just because the peas and onions were falling through the strawberry layer (as you can see in other pics. I mean, I still ATE all of the layers together; what more do you want from me?

fellow mofoers – you might realize that all your amazing comments are gone. lost in the transfer from weebly 🙁 but as of now you can see them here! https://laughfrodisiac.weebly.com/my-own-creations/veganmofo-veganizing-friends-rachels-english-trifle