Berlin Inspirations: Vegan Currywurst Is Almost As Gross As the Real Thingby Randi / September 23, 2014
To kick off the next few posts dedicated to Philadelphia, I wanted to start with something I made as a challenge from my grandmother. She’s is a real Philadelphia eye-talian, and therefore she is the greatest cook. This summer, she told me how her mother (a Calabrese, from the toe of the boot) used to make polenta for breakfast in the most amazing way you’ve never considered: fried in maple syrup and butter and covered in powdered sugar. I mean, polenta is one of the most amazing foods ever, but as a sweet food? Incredible! I am not usually up for sweet foods for breakfast (unless we are splitting it ‘for the table’ and we all get savory items in addition, because that’s always a great plan and it’s how I suggest everybody do brunch from now on you’re welcome), but this is something I would happily wake up for. Well, I don’t happily wake up for anything but you get my point.
Polenta frying in pools of syrup
Grandmother said you have to use the polenta that comes in tubes for this (and nothing else!), so it holds its shape and sustains the flipping and the frying. There were no real measurements shared; you just add ‘enough’ of everything so it cooks up and tastes good. But I’ll share what worked for me below! I was very skeptical of turning one of my favorite dinner foods into a breakfast (or dessert; I actually made it for dessert) treat, but what a treat it was! You must try this! I think it’s so much better than French toast or something like that because it can’t get soggy and it’s actually good as leftovers. Also, this is the perfect sweet treat for ushering in the new year tonight on Rosh Hashanah! Add a few apple slices and it would be heaven!
FRIED SWEET POLENTA
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Ingredients:
Directions:
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 This is the kind of polenta you want. In a tube. It’s so beautiful. Naaaaaht.  Don’t overstuff your pan; you need spatula flipping room!  Fried sugarrrrrrrrrr  Bubbly fried sugarrrr |
Have you ever heard of something like this? Or tried it? Are you going to try it and tell me how delicious it is? I know I can’t wait to have it again. Let’s all thank my grandmother and Italians in general for their culinary wisdom. Happy new year!
Related Posts
It Is Impossible to Roll Cakes, But Let’s Make a Yule Log!
lolz
Some people might say that Yule logs – rolled up filled cakes, similar to jelly rolls but with a stump – are only for Christmas. Nothing says seasons greetings like a hacked tree stump, especially when it’s made of icing and food coloring. My intention with this post was to jollily say, ‘Hey I disagree! Yule logs can be for an anytime party, especially New Year’s Eve!’ But alas, I now firmly believe Yule logs are for never. FOR NEVER.
First of all, how do you even. If you made an edible or even delicious cake, as I am wont to do, then why do things that will 99% guaranteed destroy it? Why not just eat it? It’s probably going to crack if you try to roll it up. That’s because it’s not a stone cold piece of crap cake that you could have built in shop class. I’ve heard that it may be easier to roll cakes while they’re still warm; that might prevent crackage. BUT then you can’t add the filling because it’ll melt! So what the hell is the point! Is it even worth it? Why not just have a regular old frosted cake? It saves you the anguish but tastes and looks just as good. Why do we do this to ourselves? Regardless of that last question posed, I do expect you to make this. I want to know how it goes and how badly yours falls apart. Also, the recipes are f-ing delicious, if I do say so myself and oh I just did so there we go. Great cake, great filling. I’d be so happy with myself if I didn’t have a disintegrating pile of broken cake on my stove right now.
Maybe you think my New Year’s resolution should be to learn how to do this better, become a master at rolling cakes so my next related post might be an actual tutorial to help others who want to success at tree stump cakes. But no. I don’t believe in rolled cakes anymore. I’m also not going to improve my food photography, in case you were going to ask. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Maybe you think my New Year’s resolution should be to learn how to do this better, become a master at rolling cakes so my next related post might be an actual tutorial to help others who want to success at tree stump cakes. But no. I don’t believe in rolled cakes anymore. I’m also not going to improve my food photography, in case you were going to ask. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
I decided to make a gingerbread-ish vanilla cake to go with this fancymazing chestnut puree we found at Fortnum & Mason, which I think is the English version of Williams Sonoma, probably with its own ludicrous holiday catalog (for ludichristmas, as I like to say). We went sometime in November or December, which you should never do because it is wall-to-wall tourists taking pictures and buying $18 jars filled with 4 shortbread cookies. (Remember that’s in pounds.) But the saving grace of this experience was finding vanilla-scented chestnut puree in this adorable little tin. It was pretty cheap too, considering where we were and how much they could have charged. We always buy little interesting foodstuffs, usually when traveling, and then forget to use them before they expire, or we even actively try to ‘save’ them for the right occasion which also leads to forgetting to use them. Such dumb! So waste! With this little chestnut tin, I decided early on to use it…early on.
I figured New Year’s Eve would be a great time to celebrate with a special chestnut-puree-filled cake, since we decided in advance that we’d be homebodying and what better activity for homebodying than eating a ginormous cake with two kinds of frosting? These recipes really are delicious, so I highly recommend making that as a standard iced sheet cake one day. After you try rolling this shiz.
VANILLA GINGERBREAD YULE LOG CAKE WITH CHESTNUT CREAM FILLING
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For the cake
Ingredients:
Directions:
For the chestnut cream
Directions:
Assemblage:
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This is the salt I use in all my dessert baking now. It’s so good and interesting! 
For the buttercream (to cover the rolled log) This is where it got even funnier. I was planning to make a tofu mousse to top it with, but when I went to add my soft tofu to the bowl of whipped butter, shortening, and icing sugar, I saw that my tofu expired. Normally I’d be like eh whatevs, but it expired 3 months ago. I think it’s safer not to risk a 3 month incubation period. So my buttercream base for mousse became just over-liquefied buttercream. Here’s the recipe but with less cream than I used because liquid. Whip until smooth:
then refrigerate to help harden. 
The good thing about cakes you’re going to flip over is that you can scrape off the original top and eat it without anyone noticing. 
Whipping my chestnut cream, feeling the flow |
PICTURE SHOW!!!! BY RKOOOOO
OH HERE WE GO! 
GOD’S WORK 
LUDICHRISTMAS |
BEAUTIFUL 
CHRISTMAS MIRACLE 
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YUP AFTER DOUSING IT IN THE BUTTERCREAM I FIGURED WHY NOT SPRAY IT WITH EDIBLE GOLD SPRAY PAINT THAT WILL TOTALLY HELP RESHAPE IT AND EVERYTHING.
HAHAHA DID YOU SEE THAT
SILENT NIGHT |
HOLY NIGHT |
Now I realize why all other yule log/jelly roll recipes use chocolate cake, or at least cakes and frostings that would be different colors. You can’t even see my beautiful hard work! But you can taste it. It was really good! Can you even believe this. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
ART IS EVERYWHERE |
I AM ART |
Veganizing “Friends”: Monica’s Kiwi Lime Pie
Ooh we’re finally making the famous kiwi lime pie! I know you kids are excited. As you will recall, in “The One With The Baby On The Bus”, Monica whipped up a lovely pie, and shared it with Chandler, Joey, and Ross. But after a few bites, Ross’s tongue started to swell up and he realized the delicious pie was trying to kill him:
Ross: Unnhh, unnnh, unnnnnhh.
Joey: You okay, Ross?
Ross: I don’t know. Unhhhh. What’s in this pie?
Monica: Oh, I don’t know, butter and eggs and flour and lime and kiwi…Ross: Kiwi? Kiwi?? You said it was a key lime pie.
Monica: No I didn’t, I said kiwi lime. That’s what makes it so special.
Ross: That’s what’s going to kill me.
Poor Ross! (Though his mangled final words are pretty damn hilarious.) So, we’re going to make kiwi lime pie! We’re going to use kiwi and lime and flour but of course not butter or eggs. Actually…we may not even use flour. It’s going to be as delicious as Monica’s but hopefully not as poisonous for any of you. Deal?
I’m going to start with a basic key lime pie, and then I’ll mix chopped fresh kiwi into the batter. Remember: If you are allergic to kiwi, leave it out. Don’t eat it. Relax. Don’t do it.
I’m going to start with a basic key lime pie, and then I’ll mix chopped fresh kiwi into the batter. Remember: If you are allergic to kiwi, leave it out. Don’t eat it. Relax. Don’t do it.
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SPECULOOS COOKIE CRUST
I mean, of course I’m using speculoos cookies, but you can use any graham crackers for the crust. INGREDIENTS:
DIRECTIONS:
KIWI LIME PIE
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 All our ingredients  “It’s hard to believe that just a little while ago this was nothing but ingredients” DIRECTIONS:
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Told you it made a lot! Overflow! (Almost)
This came out very nicely! It’s pretty delicious, and would be even better with whipped cream on top. Sadly, I don’t have any, but one day…one day. Enjoy!
Pac-Man Pie!!!! An homage to Chandler’s Ms. Pac-Man machine, perhaps?
Giveaway Trivia!!
- How does Ross get through the allergy shot?
- In this episode’s main story, Chandler & Joey leave Ben on the bus (!!) and have to pick him up at Human Services. The two idiots have to decide between two similar-looking babies, wearing onesies featuring what designs?
- In Phoebe’s storyline, she protests outside Central Perk for what reason?
- When Phoebe is playing outside, a stranger drops a condom in her guitar case. Who does that stranger turn out to be?
