Vegan Guide to Michelin Restaurants: Gauthier, Soho

Hello friends!! Today we have a guest post! How exciting is that! Did you even know we could HAVE guest blogs on Laughfrodisiac? Because I didn’t! But I like this idea – I do very little work – so if you are interested in writing a guest piece, please email me at the link at the top right corner. I do still get to write the headlines as you can see. The W stands for WIN. Anyway, today’s amazing piece comes from Cara W., a dear friend of mine who is also the best short story writer you’ll probably ever read in your entire life, so I’m a little hesitant to post this because you’ll prob be like ‘damn she is much better she should take over the site.’ And no her real name is not Alice Munro but I can see why you’d think that! 

Cara brings us her own take on a cauliflower soup recipe. Her take means she removes the garlic and tries to make up for it in other ways. I KNOW! We are very different in that regard because as you know I have eaten 5 types of garlic in one dish. But this is nice for all of my vampire readers out there. I can’t believe that I haven’t posted a recipe of my own in over a year (!!) (too busy eating at amazing restaurants?) so thanks to Cara for easing us back into this section of the site! Obviously I do not have the self-restraint to let someone else talk without me interrupting (have you MET me) (could I BE any more interrupty?) so when you see bracketed comments in italics in the body below, that’sa me! Mario! It’ll look like this [it’s me! Mario!​]. ​So thank you Cara and, readers, enjoy! 

​So, I am not as amazing as our fearless vegan leader and blogger, Ms. Laughfrodisiac herself, [correct she is more amazing and is also the first person to spell the site name correctly wow​] and I’ve actually never been adamantly vegan or even casually vegetarian in my life. Instead, I do the far too common thing of over-analyzing calories and obsessing over sugars versus carbs versus proteins. I fall into diet fads and once even tried to straight green juice it for a month–CLEANSE ME YOU MAGICAL GREENERY!! (This is actually a really great story that ended pretty dramatically with emergency gallbladder removal, but I digress.) [holy crap, you need to tell us this story. Next guest post?! THE DANGERS OF DETOX BULLSHIT.] The point is, I admire our blogger’s fearless dedication to do no harm and to love all around her and am often quite jealous of her food voyages and the seriously wide variety of foods she gets to experiment with. Now that she lives across the proverbial pond, I guess I sort of felt like I should try to fill Southeastern Pennsylvania’s Veganess Void by attempting to prepare the following amazing recipe for Cauliflower Soup.

I know it sounds gross. Cauliflower seems to be a divisive vegetable; my sisters despise it while my mother and I devour it. So when this recipe popped up on my Pinterest home page (or whatever you kids call it, is it a dashboard?), I just had to try it.

​I am not historically well-known for my cooking skills. In fact, until a few years ago, I despised cooking. Everything about it grossed me out and made me nervous. You mean *I* have to literally saute the onions and decide how much salt and pepper to add for spice?!?!? What happens when the onions turn black? I remember those mini-panic-attacks with fondness now. Starting in late April of 2014, after battling a nearly month long craving for buttercream frosting, I decided I’d research recipes for frosting and made some kick-tushy double chocolate cupcakes with buttercream frosting for a friend’s work gathering. They were the hit of the party and I basically started an obsession with cooking and baking from that moment on. 

​Cauliflower Soup really does a good service for the saying “Less is More” and also for the idea that you don’t actually need cream for a soup to taste bisque-y [lolol this is a treat for my PPKers out there. the filter will never die​]. It is FULL of flavor and also very comforting warmth for these 7 degree winter days. [WHY IS IT STILL SO COLD I AM SHIVERING CARA MAKE ME SOUP.]

Some Cara Thoughts on Carrots:
I despise carrots. I have no idea why, but starting maybe 5 years ago, I started to think that carrots taste like people. [ . . . ] I realize this makes little to no sense, and I’ve been laughed out of a number of cocktail party conversations by bringing this bizarre personal, uh, quirk to light, but hey, I swear to you: If people were a thing that people ate, I like, am 99.8907% certain the dish would be a little carrot-y tasting. I know it’s weird, but I tend to avoid carrots in all forms, and am particularly frightened of them in their cooked form, so uh, it’s weird that I decided to make this recipe, as there are cooked carrots. BONUS: you really can’t taste them.
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​Some Cara Thoughts on Garlic:
Call me Edward Cullen, but I actually hate garlic, too. I know, I know, you’re probably thinking, “Cara, how could you study abroad in Italy and hate garlic?” or the more common, “Cara, how can you possibly enjoy good food if you hate garlic?” but here’s my stock response: whatever you love about garlic, I guarantee I can create with a nice mix of sweet onions, shallots, and fresh spring onions. (Seriously guys, garlic is icky. It tastes like burnt. And it makes me breathe fire. Can’t we just move on from this? Call it a fad (of the past million centuries)? Bring on some more varieties of onions? Eh?) [BUT I LOVE FIREBREATHING​.]
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​When I wanted to make this recipe, I asked my mom to grab some of the ingredients from the store. She didn’t. I found out why: my mom had read the recipe all the way through, and it requires a food processor. We do not have one of those new fangled machines, so Sheila, in all her wisdom, just didn’t buy any of the ingredients for the soup and also didn’t explain to me why. [LOL Sheila this is amazing.​] [Also I don’t have a food processor either! I make do with the good blender and with the little crappy 1/2 cup processor bowl that comes with the immersion blender.​]
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While at the store, I learned that coconut oil is very expensive [Indian grocery stores for the win!], and also that my locally owned grocery store (with a checkered past, one of its founders was murdered several years ago and the crime remains UNSOLVED, it’s like all we have for intrigue around these parts) sees it as reasonable to put coconut milk in like 102398098 different locations throughout the establishment. Which I guess is good for disorganized shoppers (like me) but also confusing for others, especially those who want to price compare because MAN is there a disparity between Goya’s coconut milk and the Thai label coconut milk. Sheesh. Marketing.

Inspired by ​http://shrinkingkitchen.com/creamy-cauliflower-soup/ 

Ingredients:

• ​1 large head of cauliflower
• 1 tablespoon coconut oil
• 1 medium onion, diced
• 2 large carrots, diced
• 1 tbsp of jarred SHALLOTS
• 1 bunch of diced spring onions
• 3 cups water
• 1 teaspoon sea salt
• 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 1/2 cup coconut milk (unsweetened)

Instructions: 

1. Wash and core the cauliflower. Although Cara did not core her cauliflower, because she had no idea what that meant. It did not affect the turnout.
2. Heat a large pot over medium-high heat and add the oil, then add the onions, carrots, and onion-y deliciousness that is standing in for garlic. Cook and stir with a wooden spoon about five minutes, until they’re soft and golden. I did not use a wooden spoon, and, still, the soup came out delicious. 
3. Add the cauliflower and cook until it starts to brown. Please note, seriously the cauliflower isn’t going to BROWN really, it’s cauliflower. Just don’t burn it. I trust you will know when it’s time to add the water. You’re not dumb. 
4. Add the water and bring to a boil. Then reduce to a simmer, and cover, and cook until the vegetables are tender, about 30 minutes.
5. Add in coconut milk, sea salt, and pepper.
6. Puree soup in a high speed blender or with an immersion blender. 

Despite the hilarious thirty minute attempt my sister and I had at reassembling an old food processor, neither she nor I could actually make it happen. We did try though. So instead I just poured the mixture into the blender, hit puree, and the rest is history. Everyone in my family adored this soup and right now I am craving more. No, seriously. I’m going to hit “send” and then heat up my leftover bowl. OMG THIS SOUP.
 
Yay Vegans. Yay soup. YAY! [yay!​]

    Philadelphia gets more and more vegan-friendly by the day, it seems. In the past year, we’ve gotten a second outpost of the consistent & incredible HipCityVeg, a new all-vegan bar with upscale small plates called Charlie was a sinner. (review to come tomorrow, and yes, the period is in the name), a new bar from the Landaus of Vedge fame (to open any day now), and much more just in Center City! It’s sometimes hard to get out of the center because it seems there’s no real need to, with so much delicious vegan food within a few blocks of Rittenhouse. However, South Philly is veganizing as fast as it’s gentrifying, and if you can get someone to drive you (not it!), the vegan scene there is unmissable. My favorite new place there? Vegan Commissary! I think it’s the best brunch in town. It’s only open during lunch hours, but call it brunch so you can also order the cinnabuns. 

Look how fun this menu is! You might be thinking, hey, that looks a little pricey! (Well not if you live in London because everything is sick expensive here.) The prices are a little higher (for the entrees anyway; the sides are stupid cheap) than you’d expect for a small little vegan joint, but guess what – they include tax and service, and they pay the wait staff a living wage. UHHHMAZING. 

The food at Vegan Commissary is very much brunch-based, with giant pancakes, an extremely impressive Veggs platter, various kinds of scrapple, French toast, burgers, hash, and a dish actually called cream chipped beets. Every dish seems super clever and well thought out. Some items still require some work (I went pretty early in the restaurant’s life) but overall everything is crazy delicious. 

The mini cinnamon buns are delicious. Oh man. Warm and gooey and covered in a sweet vanilla just-barely-cream-cheesy frosting (I usually hate cream cheese but this is subtle), they are the perfect little treat to share with your brunchmate or hoard for yourself. 
    One of the most creative menu items is also the most incredible – the poached avocado & tempeh hash. It’s a platter of diced fried tempeh and potatoes, the ‘hash’, topped with a perfect poached avocado and covered in a decadent hollandaise sauce. Oh my goodness! It’s like all my favorite non-kale foods. This is so good. I would have loved if a non-potato vegetable came with it for balance, but I guess we already took care of that need with the juice. This is ridiculously good. 

    Another fantastic and insanely creative dish – one that I’ve ordered every time I’ve been to the Commissary, actually! – is the Veggs Damian. I don’t know who Damian is, but thanks dude, because this is the most impressive brunch item I may have ever seen. And it’s delicious. 

Look at those eggs! They are made from pressed tofu and filled with a yolk made from the Vegg, so perfectly set that you can dip your toast (buttered, of course; you get so much vegan butter!) in it. I just don’t understand how this is even possible. And they are really good! Equally impressive is the ‘side’ (in quotes because it’s quite large) of vegan scrapple that comes with it. Real scrapple may be one of the grossest ideas in food history, but vegan scrapple? Amazing. The Commissary’s version was a little too salty the last time I went, but still good. I love that this dish comes with asparagus – yay a vegetable! – and extra hollandaise. 

I also loved the carrot dog, another very inspired dish, this time playing off a hot dog. It’s a lovely seasoned carrot in a bun, just like a hot dog but so much better! Topped with lentils and extra harissa mayo, it’s pretty darn fantastic. 

       I’ve also had the gluten-free chocolate peanut butter pie, which is like a decadent little peanut butter cup. It’s an almond and chocolate crust, filled with whipped peanut butter and chocolate ganache. Sooo decadent!
      I definitely recommend that you get your bottom out of center city and over to South Philly for a wonderful meal at Vegan Commissary. Everything is good if not great, and it will only improve with time (as it already has!). Philly is such a freaking vegan mecca nowadays, it’s absolutely mind-blowing! I already miss this place and can’t wait to go there when I visit home. 

VEGAN COMMISSARY, PHILADELPHIA
Water speed: Good, because the servers are extremely attentive, but I just wish they used bigger glasses.
Service: Very good and super friendly.
Bathrooms: One single-serve very close to the kitchen. Pretty clean. 
Food: Wonderful! Such an interesting variety with inspired ideas. 
Bonus: Service and tax are included in the menu prices because they pay decent wages! Dessert, Veggs, pancakes, and scrapple! Can’t go wrong.
Note: Cash only; closes at 4pm.