Vegan Nigerian Pop-Up Dinner in London: One to Watchby Randi / April 7, 2016
DOGGIE
We’re back dammit! It’s a miracle!
If you didn’t sing that to the catchy af theme song of “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt”, that likely means that you don’t watch it, which definitely means that you are missing out ON LIFE. This show, from Tina Fey and a guy my brother knows, had one of the funniest first seasons for a sitcom, full stop (look I’m British now). Sure, Season 1 had its low points (the whole trial b.s. and the Native American stuff), but its high points were so high it all averaged out to be above average. So good at math. This goofy show makes viewers so happy. Lucky for the world, so in need of more happiness, season 2 is out today!
If you didn’t sing that to the catchy af theme song of “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt”, that likely means that you don’t watch it, which definitely means that you are missing out ON LIFE. This show, from Tina Fey and a guy my brother knows, had one of the funniest first seasons for a sitcom, full stop (look I’m British now). Sure, Season 1 had its low points (the whole trial b.s. and the Native American stuff), but its high points were so high it all averaged out to be above average. So good at math. This goofy show makes viewers so happy. Lucky for the world, so in need of more happiness, season 2 is out today!
If you really don’t watch it, go watch it on Netflix right now. If you don’t have Netflix, go buy it; you get a free trial anyway. If for some reason you can’t buy a Netflix membership or get the free trial and then cancel that shiz, I will give you my account info. That’s how good this show is and how much I think you deserve to watch it. Something I said in this paragraph may be a lie, and it’s up to you to find out what it is.
So, quick recap: Kimmy Schmidt is the true adorkable television heroine of our time, played to silly and ridiculous perfection by Ellie Kemper, the redhead from “The Office” and “Bridesmaids” whose last name for some reason I really really want to keep saying/actually do keep saying as “Kempner” for no apparent reason. Did I go to camp with a Kempner? Do you know? Can you see me? Kimmy is this totally naïve, sheltered gal from the Midwest whooooo was kept as an unwitting hostage by a crazy doomsday cult leader (Jon Hamm) in an underground bunker for the last 15 years. Finally freed, she has a lot to comprehend (for starters, that the world didn’t end) with the knowledge, awareness, and social skills of a tween. But it’s a comedy. She moves to NYC, the perfect place for her blind trust and total innocence, and finds an apartment owned by Carol Kane’s landlord Lilian, with the most incredible roommate maybe in television history, Tituss Burgess’s Titus Andromedon. (Real name 2 s’s (esses?), fake name 1. Actually, real name 4 s’s/esses.) And, she gets a job as a nanny for a rich beeyotchamaphone named Jacqueline Voorhees, a role I assume was written specifically for Jane Krakowski because she is red underlined 100 emoji. Titus, on the other hand, is the red 100 emoji surrounded by 10 flame balls on each side. His role was indeed written for him. I love how much he saaaaaaaaaaaaang in season 1! Let’s see what happens next!
So, quick recap: Kimmy Schmidt is the true adorkable television heroine of our time, played to silly and ridiculous perfection by Ellie Kemper, the redhead from “The Office” and “Bridesmaids” whose last name for some reason I really really want to keep saying/actually do keep saying as “Kempner” for no apparent reason. Did I go to camp with a Kempner? Do you know? Can you see me? Kimmy is this totally naïve, sheltered gal from the Midwest whooooo was kept as an unwitting hostage by a crazy doomsday cult leader (Jon Hamm) in an underground bunker for the last 15 years. Finally freed, she has a lot to comprehend (for starters, that the world didn’t end) with the knowledge, awareness, and social skills of a tween. But it’s a comedy. She moves to NYC, the perfect place for her blind trust and total innocence, and finds an apartment owned by Carol Kane’s landlord Lilian, with the most incredible roommate maybe in television history, Tituss Burgess’s Titus Andromedon. (Real name 2 s’s (esses?), fake name 1. Actually, real name 4 s’s/esses.) And, she gets a job as a nanny for a rich beeyotchamaphone named Jacqueline Voorhees, a role I assume was written specifically for Jane Krakowski because she is red underlined 100 emoji. Titus, on the other hand, is the red 100 emoji surrounded by 10 flame balls on each side. His role was indeed written for him. I love how much he saaaaaaaaaaaaang in season 1! Let’s see what happens next!
EPISODE 1: Kimmy Goes Roller Skating
When we return, aspects of Kimmy’s life have already fallen apart. She’s been dumped by her Vietnamese immigrant boyfriend Dong so he can marry for a green card. She lost her job because Jacqueline ran off to confront her Native American history and the family she abandoned out west (don’t think about this too much, about how white blonde lady is playing a guilty Native American, or about how this plot line does absolutely zilch for the show). And now her living situation is threatened, because Titus’s ex-wife (whom he abandoned before their first dance because as a homosexual he just couldn’t for another minute) is back demanding spousal support for the last 17 or so years, and Titus tends to flee in the face of adversity.
Should we start with the best or the worst? I like to do crap first and then think happy thoughts, but I’m still laughing at the good parts of this premiere, so let’s start there.
Should we start with the best or the worst? I like to do crap first and then think happy thoughts, but I’m still laughing at the good parts of this premiere, so let’s start there.
THE GREAT
Lilian is on board as Kimmy’s wingman after the sadness of Dong, so that means we got a lot more Lilian onscreen than usual. Although Carol Kane still hasn’t had the opportunity to scream that anyone is a “LIARRRRRRRRRRR!”, this change is very welcome. My favorite parts were a) when she and Kimmy stopped into the Grim Dollar Store (actual name, nice) and she said to Kimmy “I’ll be in intimates”; b) her outfit for their date night – Frankie Says Relax tee and insane tutu; and c) talking about her golden spaghetti hair and how it will attract men. She is so damn winning. She was actually funnier than Titus this episode, at least in terms of speaking parts. Titus still made the best faces, but this episode made him unlikable for most of it. Yeah, that was so his apology/redemption at the end was more satisfying, but still: non-singing, mean Titus? Hard pass.
In the Dollar Store, Kimmy runs into Dong and tries to act super uninterested and confident, but of course it’s fake and funny. So fast and easy to miss this great line:
Dong: Kimmy?
Kimmy: Dong.
Dong: So nice to see you!
Kimmy: I’d like that.
But then Dong WINS the episode when he shares that his English has improved because he’s been watching “Keeping up with the Kardashians”, which he proves when Kimmy says “It’s working,” and he responds, “Awww, you’re sweeeet” exactly like a Kardashian, complete with the trailing off vocal fry at the end. DIED. It was only topped when Kimmy invited him roller skating and he responded, also in the Kardashian voice, “So yeah, that sounds amaaaazing.” It was!!
Proving that she deserves an Emmy nomination too, Ellie Kemper is so flinging flanging great as Kimmy that I can’t really tell if she’s acting or if she is playing herself. She makes every face and delivers every line exactly right. Only she could make Kimmy’s angry “Well fudge that sugar! Fudge it to heck!” as hilarious as it was.
Wait, I take it back about Dong winning. He came close. The real winners were the tiny tiny role of Amtrak train conductor and whoever wrote this incredible exchange about Amtrak’s true purpose. I can’t rob you of the joy that comes from watching it by showing the text here, so here’s the video, omg.
I really am still crying at this. Maybe you had to have ridden Amtrak thousands of times throughout your East Coast life to appreciate it, but man alive this will be hard to beat.
MEH
Titus, though not at his character-best this episode, had a freaking dance number at the end, on a train platform, with his ex-wife. How this was not a showstopper moment is beyond me! What a wasted opportunity! My dancing is funnier than theirs was! And he could have sung something, anything.
TERRIBLE
So much time was dedicated to Jacqueline’s time with her Native American family and how she is messing everything up because she doesn’t fit in, and honestly this stuff is not any better than it was last season. It seems offensive and really it’s not funny at all. I just don’t get it. Honestly, you could fast forward through those parts and not lose anything. Get Jane back in NYC being a terrible person and a terrible step-mother to Some Hippie pronto!
REAL TERRIBLE
Why, oh god why, does every single sitcom in the history of the world (2010s) hire Fred Armisen as a guest star? Mallory Ortberg, maybe (probably) (definitely) the smart-funniest person in the world, has a famous (at least on twitter/to her disciples) TV Rule:
“every great comedy will have one nearly-unbearable episode where Fred Armisen guest-stars as an unfunny man with a godawful accent.” – M. Ortberg
It is proved true time and time again, like, every week I’m talking. It was bad enough when it happened on “Difficult People”, a show I had previously thought was made for me, but for this terrible, truest law to rear its ugly head on Kimmy? Seriously, I am so so sick of it. I do not like him in real life, I do tend to believe his wife, I do not like Fred Armisen, I do not like him Sam I am. Dear everyone in television: get a damn hold of yourselves and stop falling victim to this law. It’s pissing me off. THERE ARE MORE ACTORS OUT THERE. HIRE THEM.
EPISODE 2: Kimmy Goes on a Playdate
OH yes, we are back to proper form with this one. I found very little to critique, and I paused the show to laugh it out more than I have any show in recent memory (except maybe Once Upon A Time, but that’s a different kind of laugh). Jacqueline – the real Jacqueline – is back! And she has a little doggie!!! She’s back in NYC trying to get back on her feet after the divorce left her with a measly $12 million and no townhouse. As such, she has to camp out with Kimmy (and Titus, whom she ‘recognizes’ as the doorman from Barney’s) while she looks for a new home and schemes for ways to get back in (or back at) her thin blonde rich woman crowd, led by guest star Anna Camp, who does privileged bitch really well especially when she isn’t vomiting. Titus, meanwhile, is trying to get rid of some of his clothes with Lilian’s help. So much of this episode was great that this is pretty much just a list of my favorite lines.
GREAT
Both the main storylines – Titus’s and Jacqueline’s – are whatever, not exactly inspired new ground for sitcoms, but they result in some hysterical dialogue. Even better – Jacqueline having to clear out the townhouse so it can be sold means Xanthippe is back!! Her very first moments were my favorite:
Xan, seeing Kimmy in her house: What are YOU doing here?
Kimmy, trying to act cool: Being in a stupid-face contest and coming in SECOND!
Kimmy and Xan’s interactions are my favorite because Xan tries SO hard to hate Kimmy, and Kimmy does everything she can to make a girl like Xan hate her, but you can tell they like each other. And Kimmy unfailingly says the dumbest, most amazing stuff to her, like the above, to which Xan can only shake her head in disbelief.
The sale of the townhouse and Jacqueline’s new apartment search leads to another fantastic scene, this time between Kimmy and Jacqueline. During their first encounter in the apartment, Kimmy pulls this amazingness:
Kimmy: “Mrs. Voorhees…wait, you’re divorced….What do I call you now, Mrs. Voorhers??”
Only Ellie Kemper can say crap like this and make it so freaking funny. But even better is when Jacqueline is looking at apartment listings, complaining about how all the plus-million-dollar apartments are either too expensive or are utter crap, leading to my favorite line of this episode, which I’m going to share in video form because it’s too good:
GREAT
Both the main storylines – Titus’s and Jacqueline’s – are whatever, not exactly inspired new ground for sitcoms, but they result in some hysterical dialogue. Even better – Jacqueline having to clear out the townhouse so it can be sold means Xanthippe is back!! Her very first moments were my favorite:
Xan, seeing Kimmy in her house: What are YOU doing here?
Kimmy, trying to act cool: Being in a stupid-face contest and coming in SECOND!
Kimmy and Xan’s interactions are my favorite because Xan tries SO hard to hate Kimmy, and Kimmy does everything she can to make a girl like Xan hate her, but you can tell they like each other. And Kimmy unfailingly says the dumbest, most amazing stuff to her, like the above, to which Xan can only shake her head in disbelief.
The sale of the townhouse and Jacqueline’s new apartment search leads to another fantastic scene, this time between Kimmy and Jacqueline. During their first encounter in the apartment, Kimmy pulls this amazingness:
Kimmy: “Mrs. Voorhees…wait, you’re divorced….What do I call you now, Mrs. Voorhers??”
Only Ellie Kemper can say crap like this and make it so freaking funny. But even better is when Jacqueline is looking at apartment listings, complaining about how all the plus-million-dollar apartments are either too expensive or are utter crap, leading to my favorite line of this episode, which I’m going to share in video form because it’s too good:
I also loved in this scene how Kimmy says “drinks at the Ramada.” It’s so random and nothing but she says the words in a weird accent that made it so funny!
The other Kimmy line that made me laugh hysterically happened after getting the job at the Christmas store, when she was dressed as an elf walking down the street. She says to herself,“Oh no, those Santas must be coming from a funeral” – and the camera cuts to two Orthodox Jews as she says “I’m sorry for your loss.” I cackled.
I didn’t love the whole plot of Jacqueline trying to impress Anna Camp by putting on billionaire airs, but that’s just because Jacqueline is the best when she’s the worst person on that screen. Putting her in a vulnerable position hurts the character, I think, because she’s supposed to be a caricature, not someone you feel bad for. But I can’t really fault a storyline that led to Jacqueline, her son, and Kimmy getting into a random man’s Bentley in front of Anna Camp, and then CRAWLING over the stunned man in the backseat in order to escape through the other side, out of Anna’s view. That was some absolute GOLD physical comedy. More please!
As for Titus, he is thank goodness back to his good old self, shrieking after his closet bar collapses and explaining “Much like Icarus, a friend of mine who put too much stuff in his closet, I put too much stuff in my closet!” His plotline of taking some of his lesser worn clothes (his culottes that also double as teddy bear clothes, his outfit from when Mickey Mouse-ing was a thing in the gay community) to a thrift store was kind of forced, but like Jacqueline’s above, it allowed for hilarity. My favorite Titus line was when he looked around the cluttered, dirty thrift store and said:
Titus: “My clothes will be plucked from this hell-hole like so many Orphans Annie.”
Titus also had a little surprise treat at the end, when it turned out that the person who took his clothes from the garbage was a hot construction worker who came out to him years ago! They bond over how hard it is to put yourself out there, and how hard it is for the construction worker to hide his true self at work. The best best best part of this segment was when the man said he had to fake being one of the guys by putting a picture of a hot girl on the back of his truck. Cut to his slamming the door so we see the decal of freaking TILDA SWINTON in a glamour shot. So funny!
Lilian’s best line? Her same best line from Episode 1!!! When she and Titus go back to the thrift store, she says, “I’ll be in intimates.” Ridiculous thing to repeat but I love it!
The other Kimmy line that made me laugh hysterically happened after getting the job at the Christmas store, when she was dressed as an elf walking down the street. She says to herself,“Oh no, those Santas must be coming from a funeral” – and the camera cuts to two Orthodox Jews as she says “I’m sorry for your loss.” I cackled.
I didn’t love the whole plot of Jacqueline trying to impress Anna Camp by putting on billionaire airs, but that’s just because Jacqueline is the best when she’s the worst person on that screen. Putting her in a vulnerable position hurts the character, I think, because she’s supposed to be a caricature, not someone you feel bad for. But I can’t really fault a storyline that led to Jacqueline, her son, and Kimmy getting into a random man’s Bentley in front of Anna Camp, and then CRAWLING over the stunned man in the backseat in order to escape through the other side, out of Anna’s view. That was some absolute GOLD physical comedy. More please!
As for Titus, he is thank goodness back to his good old self, shrieking after his closet bar collapses and explaining “Much like Icarus, a friend of mine who put too much stuff in his closet, I put too much stuff in my closet!” His plotline of taking some of his lesser worn clothes (his culottes that also double as teddy bear clothes, his outfit from when Mickey Mouse-ing was a thing in the gay community) to a thrift store was kind of forced, but like Jacqueline’s above, it allowed for hilarity. My favorite Titus line was when he looked around the cluttered, dirty thrift store and said:
Titus: “My clothes will be plucked from this hell-hole like so many Orphans Annie.”
Titus also had a little surprise treat at the end, when it turned out that the person who took his clothes from the garbage was a hot construction worker who came out to him years ago! They bond over how hard it is to put yourself out there, and how hard it is for the construction worker to hide his true self at work. The best best best part of this segment was when the man said he had to fake being one of the guys by putting a picture of a hot girl on the back of his truck. Cut to his slamming the door so we see the decal of freaking TILDA SWINTON in a glamour shot. So funny!
Lilian’s best line? Her same best line from Episode 1!!! When she and Titus go back to the thrift store, she says, “I’ll be in intimates.” Ridiculous thing to repeat but I love it!
DUMB
The very first line of the episode was a bummer, as it was Kimmy assuming that a man was a woman, and she’s corrected, and that’s the joke. So lame and such outdated humor, like an unoriginal vegan joke. It would have been excused as a one off but then they repeated it! Argh why! Thankfully, this terrible interaction led to Kimmy’s telling the ‘inspiring’ story of a reindeer named Rudolph, with the kind of optimism and genuine belief that only she could muster.
What did you think about the first two back? I hope the rest of the season keeps up the standard set by #2!!
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“Spongebob Squarepants” on Broadway: Tons of Fun but Ultimately for Kids
It’s Theatre Thursday! I saw “Spongebob” on Broadway and we’re gonna talk about it! It closes September 16.
He’s says he’s ‘not a simple sponge’…but he kind of is. And although fans of this season’s new Broadway musical “Spongebob Squarepants” will say that people of all ages can enjoy the show (and that’s true, they will), it was created for kids and that’s who it’s geared towards and that’s who I am and that’s who I care about. Okay not the last two bits I got carried away. “Spongebob” the musical is a lot of fun, and a technical marvel, but it’s a bit of a letdown for adults. And considering adults have to accompany the screaming children (yes they did scream) to the theatre and buy at least two tickets, the profit-making model for this show doesn’t really work. Unlike Disney shows from the past, the adults aren’t given equal consideration here, and so few adults will be present without children (I think my sister-in-law and I were the only unaccompanied adults when we saw it). And while it’s very sad news, I’m not surprised that the show just announced that it will be closing in September, because it takes a lot of rich people to decide to spend $100+ on taking their kids to see this when they’ve been watching the TV show for free for years.
He’s says he’s ‘not a simple sponge’…but he kind of is. And although fans of this season’s new Broadway musical “Spongebob Squarepants” will say that people of all ages can enjoy the show (and that’s true, they will), it was created for kids and that’s who it’s geared towards and that’s who I am and that’s who I care about. Okay not the last two bits I got carried away. “Spongebob” the musical is a lot of fun, and a technical marvel, but it’s a bit of a letdown for adults. And considering adults have to accompany the screaming children (yes they did scream) to the theatre and buy at least two tickets, the profit-making model for this show doesn’t really work. Unlike Disney shows from the past, the adults aren’t given equal consideration here, and so few adults will be present without children (I think my sister-in-law and I were the only unaccompanied adults when we saw it). And while it’s very sad news, I’m not surprised that the show just announced that it will be closing in September, because it takes a lot of rich people to decide to spend $100+ on taking their kids to see this when they’ve been watching the TV show for free for years.
But even so, if you are able to see the show before it closes in two months, you should check it out. I never watched the TV show and only had a passing familiarity with what Bob Esponja (what the poster for the movie said in Spain and so what my husbo and I call Spongebob 100% of the time for the past 3 years) and his friend the pink starfish looked like before I sat in the uppermost balcony at the Palace Theatre (that $30 rush ticket though) amid hundreds of screaming, eating, texting children (and their worse-behaved parents) for this show. I was prepared for this kind of audience, and even so, given the multitude of surprisingly positive reviews and the insanely strong fan base, I was prepared to love it. I had a good time, but I didn’t love it.
This musical tells the story of this simple sponge who lives in a pineapple under the sea (SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS okay that part I knew before too who DOESN’T know the theme song and then it goes like abhorrent and boorish and porous is he!!) in a cute little under the sea town called Bikini Bottom and he has other species friends and bosses and frenemies and it’s all cute. BUT THEN, they get news that a nearby volcano is going to erupt and destroy their town! Oh noes. Almost everyone agrees that they should leave town (I mean, right?) before doomsday. The villains, Plankton and his robot (?) wife, offer that they should put all town residents in an escape pod to get to their next home, and everyone is like wow great idea but Plankton and sea-Janet really just want everyone in one confined space so they can hypnotize them and convince them to eat at their failing restaurant instead of at the very popular Krusty Krabs, where Spongebob works as a fry cook. (How do they fry under water.) Spongebob is the only one who doesn’t want to flee the coming horror, because he simple. He thinks they should fight for their home, and so he sets off on a mission to save the town in the two days he has before the predicted eruption. Meanwhile, the rest of the town plans a concert to raise money to pay for the escape pod.
Okay fine, a little silly but a decent story choice for a Spongebob musical! But guess what, it’s also quite political and timely. While Bob Esponja is like hmm how do I stop a volcano, maybe with French fries???, the rest of the town is looking for someone to blame for everything, as most people do when something goes wrong (except unlike in real life, the people looking to blame an innocent person aren’t also the ones responsible). So the townsfolk decide to blame Sandy Cheeks, the smart adorable FEMALE squirrel, all things that powerful people despise, for the impending destruction. Of course, blame the smart woman! They choose her because she’s a land mammal, and so it’s easy to turn the town against her with chants of how she doesn’t belong there. I KNOW, it’s pretty darn topical. Also, Sandy is played by Lilli Cooper (the great), who is black, so it’s really poignant to show her being ostracized so the mostly white kids (hopefully) get the connection and see that that’s bad. Even though the town is trying to drive Sandy out, Spongebob convinces her to help him save the day, since Sandy is a brilliant scientist (and the real hero of the show). She creates a device that when dropped into the mouth of the volcano will turn the lava flow into harmless bubbles and I am here for that kind of scientific discovery, Elon. Spongebob volunteers to be the sad sack who has to drop the machine into the volcano, so a lot of the second act is him climbing the volcano/the little moving set piece. Obviously, he makes it to the top and saves the day and the town, and the town lauds him and forgives Sandy for being black but literally gives her nothing else, no acclaim for being the actual savior of everything and so I was a little salty and kind of wish that the town actually was destroyed because fuck that, this badass girl is a squirrel who is a scientist and she’s merely ALLOWED TO KEEP LIVING IN THE TOWN WHILE THE STUPID WHITE MAN FRY COOK IS CONSIDERED THE HERO OF IT ALL? please. Anyway that’s just my take on it, because of course Bob was going to be the hero in the show named after him, but how good would it have been to turn the tables on him and be like ‘thanks for doing the manual labor portion of the job now let’s have a parade for this amazing black girl!’ but no. So that’s the plot and it’s cute but it gets a little long considering it’s a kids show. The second act needed to be shorter.
So, full truth here. The best reviewed thing about this show, besides its set design, is ts leading spongeman, Ethan Slater, in a miraculous Broadway debut that has him singing, dancing, and pretty much jumping up and down and all around like a dynamo/bouncing ball/firework/sponge for hours and hours and keeping those energy levels up and keeping the rest of his cast energized and engaged and just being adorable and amazing and Tony-worthy, so everyone said. He was 98% of the reason I saw the show, the other 2% being for the set and the 12 Tony nominations it received. But apparently, those energy levels are real hard to keep up for 8 shows a week for months on end, because starting in about May, Ethan low-key started taking off at least one performance a week. And I fully understand why, and I appreciate that anyone doing this role full time would have to do that to stay alive because it requires absolute insane physicality from its star. But they should have set a defined performance and a defined alternate, as they do for most stars doing 7 of 8 shows. The ‘random’ performance he took off that week was my performance. Like, fuck. Curtis Holbrook, the understudy, did a marvelous job and I had zero complaints, but I didn’t get to see the performance that everyone was raving about. I can’t imagine what Ethan could do differently, though, to make people think he was robbed of a Tony. It’s a great, meaty, exhausting role, but it’s no great feat of acting.
And the cast is great all-around, really, with nice performances from Cooper and Skinner and a standout one from tap-dancing phenomenon Gavin Lee, as Squidward. He wears a costume that gives him four legs, and he brings the house down with a long extravagant tap number. It’s the best part of the show, rightly so given that he’s the one true vet up there. The tap dance alone that he does is difficult and impressive enough, but the fact that he’s doing it with four legs – and making it seem effortless – is astounding. There’s also a standout vocal performance from Jai’len Christine Li Josey, an 18-year-old girl who won the 2014 Jimmy Awards, kind of the Tonys for high school musical theatre performers. Her voice is the kind that’s a gift from the gods. She’s absolutely insane. She wasn’t the most natural actor, but with that voice I’m sure she will have a strong career, one that I hope includes “Seasons of Love” soloist among other bigger parts.
The biggest news surrounding this production is what I consider one of its biggest flaws: that its score was compiled by a seemingly endless list of super famous musicians, including Sara Bareilles, David Bowie (RIP hope this isn’t the last thing he did), John Legend, Lady Antebellum, Steven Tyler, Cyndi Lauper, I mean it’s very ridiculous that this is a list of composers for one Broadway show. Each musician wrote one song in the show, and while it’s fun to be like ‘Oh this song was written by…THE RAPPER T.I.???? and this one by…Panic! At the Disco?????’, that kind of set up does not make for a cohesive musical. It makes for a disjointed one, with no real common threads that a musical needs to succeed as a whole and not just be a concert set against a story. Fun fact: For a long time my dad thought it was Panic! At the Drive-in because Sirius radio only showed the band’s name up to D and he assumed it stood for drive-in. The best songs by far were “Bikini Bottom Day”, by Jonathan Coulton, and Bareilles’ pirate song, which had nothing to do with the plot and was used as a silly intermission ender.
I think if the score was written by one great composing team, the musical would have been better and lasted longer, because every visual aspect of the production is superb. David Zinn’s set design is a marvel, and he rightly won the Tony for it. He uses everyday items – kind of like what you would (too easily) find floating in the ocean as garbage – to create this seascape of underwater magic that still feels familiar. His best work is the enormous Rube Goldberg contraptions on the sides of the stage that come into play at specific moments, huge devices that use little balls to spin wheels to drop levers to push handles &c &c to spit beach balls at the cast or something like that. It was the best.
The amazing visual treats also include Christopher Gattelli’s fun and inspired choreography, with magical moments like when the cast holds yellow sponges in the dark to e.g. make Bob’s flying cape in “Simple Sponge”. That number was actually gorgeous. And everything is handled masterfully by Tina Landau’s direction. Bringing this kind of show to life is difficult, and she deserves all the acclaim, like Sandy, for bringing it all together. Even the costumes were phenomenal, using regular clothes for the most part to evoke the familiar characters. Spongebob doesn’t wear a big suit like he’s just outside the theatre door hounding tourists in Times Square. He just wears a yellow shirt and red tie and plaid pants – and it works brilliantly. Patrick the starfish (a lovable Danny Skinner) wears an oversize pink tee shirt paired with green shorts in another so-simple-it’s-brilliant technique.
So the visuals are great. But it’s the other senses that get attacked. It’s the loudest musical ever. The fact that they were nominated for a Sound Design Tony is 100% due to the fun special effects produced live by the man (sorry can’t find your name) in the first balcony box with a keyboard equipped with the craziest sounds, like bubbles and squeaks and other noises of all sorts that aren’t British foods. That’s all done very well and amusingly but it gets to be a little too much. But who can even pay attention to them when the theatre is full of ear-damaging speakers that make everything so loud it would be bad even with earplugs? It was painful at times. And I’ve heard from people who sat in different sections that they could barely hear it! What is going on with the sound in this theatre? It sounds like a g-d mess. Is it so loud in most places to keep children’s attention? Maybe? but damaging everyone’s eardrums seems like not the right solution. And if kids are going to lose focus, having everything be super loud isn’t going to help. The rock concert that Squidward stages showed this more than ever, because a rock band plays and it’s just awfully loud and I wanted to scream get off my lawn.
I mean I’m starting to get too deep into the ranty ravey portion of my theatre discussions, and we don’t need to do that. “Spongebob” was a fun confection of a Broadway show, but I wish that they paid more attention to making it a fully realized show that adults would enjoy and not just kids, and that includes paying more attention to the crux of a musical – the score. As it is, it’s cheerful and fun and it’s a helluva lot better than anyone predicted when they first announced a Spongebob musical, but I wish it was truly great.
INFORMATION
If you go, turn off your phone and don’t bring loud food and drinks in or treat it like you’re at a party, because you’re not a monster. But don’t expect anyone else to follow your lead.
This musical tells the story of this simple sponge who lives in a pineapple under the sea (SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS okay that part I knew before too who DOESN’T know the theme song and then it goes like abhorrent and boorish and porous is he!!) in a cute little under the sea town called Bikini Bottom and he has other species friends and bosses and frenemies and it’s all cute. BUT THEN, they get news that a nearby volcano is going to erupt and destroy their town! Oh noes. Almost everyone agrees that they should leave town (I mean, right?) before doomsday. The villains, Plankton and his robot (?) wife, offer that they should put all town residents in an escape pod to get to their next home, and everyone is like wow great idea but Plankton and sea-Janet really just want everyone in one confined space so they can hypnotize them and convince them to eat at their failing restaurant instead of at the very popular Krusty Krabs, where Spongebob works as a fry cook. (How do they fry under water.) Spongebob is the only one who doesn’t want to flee the coming horror, because he simple. He thinks they should fight for their home, and so he sets off on a mission to save the town in the two days he has before the predicted eruption. Meanwhile, the rest of the town plans a concert to raise money to pay for the escape pod.
Okay fine, a little silly but a decent story choice for a Spongebob musical! But guess what, it’s also quite political and timely. While Bob Esponja is like hmm how do I stop a volcano, maybe with French fries???, the rest of the town is looking for someone to blame for everything, as most people do when something goes wrong (except unlike in real life, the people looking to blame an innocent person aren’t also the ones responsible). So the townsfolk decide to blame Sandy Cheeks, the smart adorable FEMALE squirrel, all things that powerful people despise, for the impending destruction. Of course, blame the smart woman! They choose her because she’s a land mammal, and so it’s easy to turn the town against her with chants of how she doesn’t belong there. I KNOW, it’s pretty darn topical. Also, Sandy is played by Lilli Cooper (the great), who is black, so it’s really poignant to show her being ostracized so the mostly white kids (hopefully) get the connection and see that that’s bad. Even though the town is trying to drive Sandy out, Spongebob convinces her to help him save the day, since Sandy is a brilliant scientist (and the real hero of the show). She creates a device that when dropped into the mouth of the volcano will turn the lava flow into harmless bubbles and I am here for that kind of scientific discovery, Elon. Spongebob volunteers to be the sad sack who has to drop the machine into the volcano, so a lot of the second act is him climbing the volcano/the little moving set piece. Obviously, he makes it to the top and saves the day and the town, and the town lauds him and forgives Sandy for being black but literally gives her nothing else, no acclaim for being the actual savior of everything and so I was a little salty and kind of wish that the town actually was destroyed because fuck that, this badass girl is a squirrel who is a scientist and she’s merely ALLOWED TO KEEP LIVING IN THE TOWN WHILE THE STUPID WHITE MAN FRY COOK IS CONSIDERED THE HERO OF IT ALL? please. Anyway that’s just my take on it, because of course Bob was going to be the hero in the show named after him, but how good would it have been to turn the tables on him and be like ‘thanks for doing the manual labor portion of the job now let’s have a parade for this amazing black girl!’ but no. So that’s the plot and it’s cute but it gets a little long considering it’s a kids show. The second act needed to be shorter.
So, full truth here. The best reviewed thing about this show, besides its set design, is ts leading spongeman, Ethan Slater, in a miraculous Broadway debut that has him singing, dancing, and pretty much jumping up and down and all around like a dynamo/bouncing ball/firework/sponge for hours and hours and keeping those energy levels up and keeping the rest of his cast energized and engaged and just being adorable and amazing and Tony-worthy, so everyone said. He was 98% of the reason I saw the show, the other 2% being for the set and the 12 Tony nominations it received. But apparently, those energy levels are real hard to keep up for 8 shows a week for months on end, because starting in about May, Ethan low-key started taking off at least one performance a week. And I fully understand why, and I appreciate that anyone doing this role full time would have to do that to stay alive because it requires absolute insane physicality from its star. But they should have set a defined performance and a defined alternate, as they do for most stars doing 7 of 8 shows. The ‘random’ performance he took off that week was my performance. Like, fuck. Curtis Holbrook, the understudy, did a marvelous job and I had zero complaints, but I didn’t get to see the performance that everyone was raving about. I can’t imagine what Ethan could do differently, though, to make people think he was robbed of a Tony. It’s a great, meaty, exhausting role, but it’s no great feat of acting.
And the cast is great all-around, really, with nice performances from Cooper and Skinner and a standout one from tap-dancing phenomenon Gavin Lee, as Squidward. He wears a costume that gives him four legs, and he brings the house down with a long extravagant tap number. It’s the best part of the show, rightly so given that he’s the one true vet up there. The tap dance alone that he does is difficult and impressive enough, but the fact that he’s doing it with four legs – and making it seem effortless – is astounding. There’s also a standout vocal performance from Jai’len Christine Li Josey, an 18-year-old girl who won the 2014 Jimmy Awards, kind of the Tonys for high school musical theatre performers. Her voice is the kind that’s a gift from the gods. She’s absolutely insane. She wasn’t the most natural actor, but with that voice I’m sure she will have a strong career, one that I hope includes “Seasons of Love” soloist among other bigger parts.
The biggest news surrounding this production is what I consider one of its biggest flaws: that its score was compiled by a seemingly endless list of super famous musicians, including Sara Bareilles, David Bowie (RIP hope this isn’t the last thing he did), John Legend, Lady Antebellum, Steven Tyler, Cyndi Lauper, I mean it’s very ridiculous that this is a list of composers for one Broadway show. Each musician wrote one song in the show, and while it’s fun to be like ‘Oh this song was written by…THE RAPPER T.I.???? and this one by…Panic! At the Disco?????’, that kind of set up does not make for a cohesive musical. It makes for a disjointed one, with no real common threads that a musical needs to succeed as a whole and not just be a concert set against a story. Fun fact: For a long time my dad thought it was Panic! At the Drive-in because Sirius radio only showed the band’s name up to D and he assumed it stood for drive-in. The best songs by far were “Bikini Bottom Day”, by Jonathan Coulton, and Bareilles’ pirate song, which had nothing to do with the plot and was used as a silly intermission ender.
I think if the score was written by one great composing team, the musical would have been better and lasted longer, because every visual aspect of the production is superb. David Zinn’s set design is a marvel, and he rightly won the Tony for it. He uses everyday items – kind of like what you would (too easily) find floating in the ocean as garbage – to create this seascape of underwater magic that still feels familiar. His best work is the enormous Rube Goldberg contraptions on the sides of the stage that come into play at specific moments, huge devices that use little balls to spin wheels to drop levers to push handles &c &c to spit beach balls at the cast or something like that. It was the best.
The amazing visual treats also include Christopher Gattelli’s fun and inspired choreography, with magical moments like when the cast holds yellow sponges in the dark to e.g. make Bob’s flying cape in “Simple Sponge”. That number was actually gorgeous. And everything is handled masterfully by Tina Landau’s direction. Bringing this kind of show to life is difficult, and she deserves all the acclaim, like Sandy, for bringing it all together. Even the costumes were phenomenal, using regular clothes for the most part to evoke the familiar characters. Spongebob doesn’t wear a big suit like he’s just outside the theatre door hounding tourists in Times Square. He just wears a yellow shirt and red tie and plaid pants – and it works brilliantly. Patrick the starfish (a lovable Danny Skinner) wears an oversize pink tee shirt paired with green shorts in another so-simple-it’s-brilliant technique.
So the visuals are great. But it’s the other senses that get attacked. It’s the loudest musical ever. The fact that they were nominated for a Sound Design Tony is 100% due to the fun special effects produced live by the man (sorry can’t find your name) in the first balcony box with a keyboard equipped with the craziest sounds, like bubbles and squeaks and other noises of all sorts that aren’t British foods. That’s all done very well and amusingly but it gets to be a little too much. But who can even pay attention to them when the theatre is full of ear-damaging speakers that make everything so loud it would be bad even with earplugs? It was painful at times. And I’ve heard from people who sat in different sections that they could barely hear it! What is going on with the sound in this theatre? It sounds like a g-d mess. Is it so loud in most places to keep children’s attention? Maybe? but damaging everyone’s eardrums seems like not the right solution. And if kids are going to lose focus, having everything be super loud isn’t going to help. The rock concert that Squidward stages showed this more than ever, because a rock band plays and it’s just awfully loud and I wanted to scream get off my lawn.
I mean I’m starting to get too deep into the ranty ravey portion of my theatre discussions, and we don’t need to do that. “Spongebob” was a fun confection of a Broadway show, but I wish that they paid more attention to making it a fully realized show that adults would enjoy and not just kids, and that includes paying more attention to the crux of a musical – the score. As it is, it’s cheerful and fun and it’s a helluva lot better than anyone predicted when they first announced a Spongebob musical, but I wish it was truly great.
INFORMATION
If you go, turn off your phone and don’t bring loud food and drinks in or treat it like you’re at a party, because you’re not a monster. But don’t expect anyone else to follow your lead.
‘Night, Mother at the Hampstead A Strong Production of a Provocative Play, + TRIGGER WARNINGS
Jed! It’s a play about suicide Jed!
(Yes, sorry, this is my Stockard impression, based on her West Wing persona, Jed!)
Marsha Norman’s Pulitzer Prize-winning drama ‘Night, Mother (ahh ahhh ahhhhh fighter of the Day Mother ahh ahhh ahhhhh) feels like it’s happening in real-time. Now playing at London’s Hampstead Theatre, the four-hander (remember) manages to create 80 minutes of straight intensity, like a tightrope of drama created by the question posed in the beginning that you wait until the very end to have answered: Is she actually going to kill herself?
The ‘she’ in question is Jessie (Rebecca Night), the adult daughter of Thelma (Stockard Channing (yes really) (she’s gonna be big you heard it here folks))(Jed! I’m gonna be in ‘Night, Mother, Jed!), who opens the action by asking her mother for old towels or plastic sheets for keeping a coming mess in check before announcing the type of mess she intends to make by the end of the night. Her mother, obviously, thinks she must be joking or exaggerating at first, but Jessie’s calm, measured, almost detached and monotone demeanor shows otherwise. She has been deliberating for a while and she has long since decided: she will commit suicide tonight.
True confession, while I have long been familiar with the existence of ‘Night, Mother, and equally the decades-long rumor of an ‘imminent’ production starring Audra McDonald and Oprah (huge if ever true), I never saw it before. I knew it was ‘about suicide’ but I didn’t know that it was entirely about a specific suicide and waiting to see if it would happen or not. And so I had no idea what the resolution would be, and this ignorance made for a gripping albeit stressful af experience, a waiting game to see which of these women would prevail in getting what they wanted. I thus can’t say whether the play would have as dramatic an effect on people who know how it ends, but the strong performances definitely made the intensity of the drama more harrowing. Stockard really is such a presence, and Rebecca held her own. It was like a subtle tug of war between the two women playing a game with no real winners, with Thelma little by little trying to get through to her daughter but using ideas and concepts that Jessie has long since rejected as being able to be swayed by.
The familiarity of their everyday routine, as Jessie fills all the various candy jars and goes through instructions for the milkman and the garbage collection, provides a kind of alarming contrast to the main subject of their discussion. A lot of their evening has threads of humor, like when Jessie requests a cup of cocoa even though neither of them like it, but the context keeps it all unsettling. The play’s structure takes the emotional family drama and heightens it with this overarching question, so you have the mother-daughter-conflict dynamic, with its familiar and unfamiliar aspects, and it’s put on this crazy other level when so much rides on their conversation, all the little things they say or don’t say having the power to determine what comes next. Everything they say creeps them closer to a final something. As the night wears on and as Thelma has fewer means of delaying Jessie’s plan, the anxiety increases. It’s like a (mostly) calm constant battle between the two about whether Jessie can be overruled, until the very end. Thelma uses what she knows – routine and familiar comforts and topics – to try to get through to her daughter, when these are exactly the things she wants no more of. The ways Thelma tries to make her realize how much life contains reveal how little their lives actually contain, and while for Thelma this is everything, and enough, it isn’t for Jessie.
I don’t know how I feel about what the play is saying, or trying to say. They show someone set on committing suicide who explains matter-of-factly that it is a logical and fine decision, as though it’s not in and of itself the sign of a need for mental help, as though the making of the decision doesn’t necessarily show that the person is not of sound mind (I know I just forked you right up there with double negatives, Jed!). Maybe the whole success of the play is in that strange uneasy confusion, about what shape our remorse is supposed to take, and for which character and why. Overall, you feel bad for everyone, and when you were distracted by the candy jars the provocative framing of the subject sneaks in through their mundane lives.
‘Night, Mother originally premiered in the UK (after Broadway) at the Hampstead in 1985, so it’s nice that this solid new production of such an important play in the canon is here, and with such a star as Stocks McBocks. It would be a great first production of the play for newbies like me. For people who know the show well, I am really interested in knowing whether it’s ever as interesting as the first time.
TRIGGER WARNINGS
The Hampstead, like all good theatres, provides content warnings on their shows. For this one it said simply “The play includes themes of suicide throughout.”
Now, I’ve noticed in recent years that shows’ warnings will include things like loud bangs, fireworks, flashing lights, and gun shots to help prepare audiences. And I am ALL FOR thorough warnings. However, I realize there is a line that many do not want crossed, for when warnings give too much away. When warnings are spoilers.
I have always argued for the balance to be on the side of people who need to be mentally prepared for certain content, and who can then make a more informed decision about whether they can safely consume the content or whether they should avoid it. And I still do believe that, for sure; it will always be more important to help protect someone’s emotional and/or mental state than to keep a show completely spoiler-free. (And theatres like the Hampstead have a great system: On their website, you have to click on a separate page for the content warnings for each play, so that people who have no trauma concerns and don’t want anything close to spoilers will never have to see the warnings if they don’t want to.)
However, for this show, I’m a little stuck on how they would ever do a more complete, and helpful, warning. Hampstead got around it by simply saying ‘themes of suicide’. But if the theatre decided to address the inclusion, or not, of gun shots, then they would be telling us how it ends. Whether or not there is a gun shot in this play, it would be spoiled by whether or not the trigger warning includes gun shots. (A literal trigger warning.) I don’t want to spoil this particular play (even though I’m sure I’m the only person who didn’t know what was going to happen), but my entire experience of this play was the suspense, that tension in not knowing how it would end. If the trigger warning had said “warning; contains gunshots” well, then, the suspense is gone, isn’t it? I’d assume what was going to happen. And that’s too bad. But, if I’m someone who has stressful reactions to gun shots (and I am!) and I wasn’t told that a play had one, then I would be upset at that too. I’m not sure how you could ever give a complete content warning for this play without spoiling the action. It’s an interesting problem to consider, I guess. I really don’t know how to solve it. This might be the first time I’m ending a theatre post by saying I DON’T know exactly what to do to make this experience better!
