Vegan Nigerian Pop-Up Dinner in London: One to Watchby Randi / April 7, 2016
DOGGIE
We’re back dammit! It’s a miracle!
If you didn’t sing that to the catchy af theme song of “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt”, that likely means that you don’t watch it, which definitely means that you are missing out ON LIFE. This show, from Tina Fey and a guy my brother knows, had one of the funniest first seasons for a sitcom, full stop (look I’m British now). Sure, Season 1 had its low points (the whole trial b.s. and the Native American stuff), but its high points were so high it all averaged out to be above average. So good at math. This goofy show makes viewers so happy. Lucky for the world, so in need of more happiness, season 2 is out today!
If you didn’t sing that to the catchy af theme song of “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt”, that likely means that you don’t watch it, which definitely means that you are missing out ON LIFE. This show, from Tina Fey and a guy my brother knows, had one of the funniest first seasons for a sitcom, full stop (look I’m British now). Sure, Season 1 had its low points (the whole trial b.s. and the Native American stuff), but its high points were so high it all averaged out to be above average. So good at math. This goofy show makes viewers so happy. Lucky for the world, so in need of more happiness, season 2 is out today!
If you really don’t watch it, go watch it on Netflix right now. If you don’t have Netflix, go buy it; you get a free trial anyway. If for some reason you can’t buy a Netflix membership or get the free trial and then cancel that shiz, I will give you my account info. That’s how good this show is and how much I think you deserve to watch it. Something I said in this paragraph may be a lie, and it’s up to you to find out what it is.
So, quick recap: Kimmy Schmidt is the true adorkable television heroine of our time, played to silly and ridiculous perfection by Ellie Kemper, the redhead from “The Office” and “Bridesmaids” whose last name for some reason I really really want to keep saying/actually do keep saying as “Kempner” for no apparent reason. Did I go to camp with a Kempner? Do you know? Can you see me? Kimmy is this totally naïve, sheltered gal from the Midwest whooooo was kept as an unwitting hostage by a crazy doomsday cult leader (Jon Hamm) in an underground bunker for the last 15 years. Finally freed, she has a lot to comprehend (for starters, that the world didn’t end) with the knowledge, awareness, and social skills of a tween. But it’s a comedy. She moves to NYC, the perfect place for her blind trust and total innocence, and finds an apartment owned by Carol Kane’s landlord Lilian, with the most incredible roommate maybe in television history, Tituss Burgess’s Titus Andromedon. (Real name 2 s’s (esses?), fake name 1. Actually, real name 4 s’s/esses.) And, she gets a job as a nanny for a rich beeyotchamaphone named Jacqueline Voorhees, a role I assume was written specifically for Jane Krakowski because she is red underlined 100 emoji. Titus, on the other hand, is the red 100 emoji surrounded by 10 flame balls on each side. His role was indeed written for him. I love how much he saaaaaaaaaaaaang in season 1! Let’s see what happens next!
So, quick recap: Kimmy Schmidt is the true adorkable television heroine of our time, played to silly and ridiculous perfection by Ellie Kemper, the redhead from “The Office” and “Bridesmaids” whose last name for some reason I really really want to keep saying/actually do keep saying as “Kempner” for no apparent reason. Did I go to camp with a Kempner? Do you know? Can you see me? Kimmy is this totally naïve, sheltered gal from the Midwest whooooo was kept as an unwitting hostage by a crazy doomsday cult leader (Jon Hamm) in an underground bunker for the last 15 years. Finally freed, she has a lot to comprehend (for starters, that the world didn’t end) with the knowledge, awareness, and social skills of a tween. But it’s a comedy. She moves to NYC, the perfect place for her blind trust and total innocence, and finds an apartment owned by Carol Kane’s landlord Lilian, with the most incredible roommate maybe in television history, Tituss Burgess’s Titus Andromedon. (Real name 2 s’s (esses?), fake name 1. Actually, real name 4 s’s/esses.) And, she gets a job as a nanny for a rich beeyotchamaphone named Jacqueline Voorhees, a role I assume was written specifically for Jane Krakowski because she is red underlined 100 emoji. Titus, on the other hand, is the red 100 emoji surrounded by 10 flame balls on each side. His role was indeed written for him. I love how much he saaaaaaaaaaaaang in season 1! Let’s see what happens next!
EPISODE 1: Kimmy Goes Roller Skating
When we return, aspects of Kimmy’s life have already fallen apart. She’s been dumped by her Vietnamese immigrant boyfriend Dong so he can marry for a green card. She lost her job because Jacqueline ran off to confront her Native American history and the family she abandoned out west (don’t think about this too much, about how white blonde lady is playing a guilty Native American, or about how this plot line does absolutely zilch for the show). And now her living situation is threatened, because Titus’s ex-wife (whom he abandoned before their first dance because as a homosexual he just couldn’t for another minute) is back demanding spousal support for the last 17 or so years, and Titus tends to flee in the face of adversity.
Should we start with the best or the worst? I like to do crap first and then think happy thoughts, but I’m still laughing at the good parts of this premiere, so let’s start there.
Should we start with the best or the worst? I like to do crap first and then think happy thoughts, but I’m still laughing at the good parts of this premiere, so let’s start there.
THE GREAT
Lilian is on board as Kimmy’s wingman after the sadness of Dong, so that means we got a lot more Lilian onscreen than usual. Although Carol Kane still hasn’t had the opportunity to scream that anyone is a “LIARRRRRRRRRRR!”, this change is very welcome. My favorite parts were a) when she and Kimmy stopped into the Grim Dollar Store (actual name, nice) and she said to Kimmy “I’ll be in intimates”; b) her outfit for their date night – Frankie Says Relax tee and insane tutu; and c) talking about her golden spaghetti hair and how it will attract men. She is so damn winning. She was actually funnier than Titus this episode, at least in terms of speaking parts. Titus still made the best faces, but this episode made him unlikable for most of it. Yeah, that was so his apology/redemption at the end was more satisfying, but still: non-singing, mean Titus? Hard pass.
In the Dollar Store, Kimmy runs into Dong and tries to act super uninterested and confident, but of course it’s fake and funny. So fast and easy to miss this great line:
Dong: Kimmy?
Kimmy: Dong.
Dong: So nice to see you!
Kimmy: I’d like that.
But then Dong WINS the episode when he shares that his English has improved because he’s been watching “Keeping up with the Kardashians”, which he proves when Kimmy says “It’s working,” and he responds, “Awww, you’re sweeeet” exactly like a Kardashian, complete with the trailing off vocal fry at the end. DIED. It was only topped when Kimmy invited him roller skating and he responded, also in the Kardashian voice, “So yeah, that sounds amaaaazing.” It was!!
Proving that she deserves an Emmy nomination too, Ellie Kemper is so flinging flanging great as Kimmy that I can’t really tell if she’s acting or if she is playing herself. She makes every face and delivers every line exactly right. Only she could make Kimmy’s angry “Well fudge that sugar! Fudge it to heck!” as hilarious as it was.
Wait, I take it back about Dong winning. He came close. The real winners were the tiny tiny role of Amtrak train conductor and whoever wrote this incredible exchange about Amtrak’s true purpose. I can’t rob you of the joy that comes from watching it by showing the text here, so here’s the video, omg.
I really am still crying at this. Maybe you had to have ridden Amtrak thousands of times throughout your East Coast life to appreciate it, but man alive this will be hard to beat.
MEH
Titus, though not at his character-best this episode, had a freaking dance number at the end, on a train platform, with his ex-wife. How this was not a showstopper moment is beyond me! What a wasted opportunity! My dancing is funnier than theirs was! And he could have sung something, anything.
TERRIBLE
So much time was dedicated to Jacqueline’s time with her Native American family and how she is messing everything up because she doesn’t fit in, and honestly this stuff is not any better than it was last season. It seems offensive and really it’s not funny at all. I just don’t get it. Honestly, you could fast forward through those parts and not lose anything. Get Jane back in NYC being a terrible person and a terrible step-mother to Some Hippie pronto!
REAL TERRIBLE
Why, oh god why, does every single sitcom in the history of the world (2010s) hire Fred Armisen as a guest star? Mallory Ortberg, maybe (probably) (definitely) the smart-funniest person in the world, has a famous (at least on twitter/to her disciples) TV Rule:
“every great comedy will have one nearly-unbearable episode where Fred Armisen guest-stars as an unfunny man with a godawful accent.” – M. Ortberg
It is proved true time and time again, like, every week I’m talking. It was bad enough when it happened on “Difficult People”, a show I had previously thought was made for me, but for this terrible, truest law to rear its ugly head on Kimmy? Seriously, I am so so sick of it. I do not like him in real life, I do tend to believe his wife, I do not like Fred Armisen, I do not like him Sam I am. Dear everyone in television: get a damn hold of yourselves and stop falling victim to this law. It’s pissing me off. THERE ARE MORE ACTORS OUT THERE. HIRE THEM.
EPISODE 2: Kimmy Goes on a Playdate
OH yes, we are back to proper form with this one. I found very little to critique, and I paused the show to laugh it out more than I have any show in recent memory (except maybe Once Upon A Time, but that’s a different kind of laugh). Jacqueline – the real Jacqueline – is back! And she has a little doggie!!! She’s back in NYC trying to get back on her feet after the divorce left her with a measly $12 million and no townhouse. As such, she has to camp out with Kimmy (and Titus, whom she ‘recognizes’ as the doorman from Barney’s) while she looks for a new home and schemes for ways to get back in (or back at) her thin blonde rich woman crowd, led by guest star Anna Camp, who does privileged bitch really well especially when she isn’t vomiting. Titus, meanwhile, is trying to get rid of some of his clothes with Lilian’s help. So much of this episode was great that this is pretty much just a list of my favorite lines.
GREAT
Both the main storylines – Titus’s and Jacqueline’s – are whatever, not exactly inspired new ground for sitcoms, but they result in some hysterical dialogue. Even better – Jacqueline having to clear out the townhouse so it can be sold means Xanthippe is back!! Her very first moments were my favorite:
Xan, seeing Kimmy in her house: What are YOU doing here?
Kimmy, trying to act cool: Being in a stupid-face contest and coming in SECOND!
Kimmy and Xan’s interactions are my favorite because Xan tries SO hard to hate Kimmy, and Kimmy does everything she can to make a girl like Xan hate her, but you can tell they like each other. And Kimmy unfailingly says the dumbest, most amazing stuff to her, like the above, to which Xan can only shake her head in disbelief.
The sale of the townhouse and Jacqueline’s new apartment search leads to another fantastic scene, this time between Kimmy and Jacqueline. During their first encounter in the apartment, Kimmy pulls this amazingness:
Kimmy: “Mrs. Voorhees…wait, you’re divorced….What do I call you now, Mrs. Voorhers??”
Only Ellie Kemper can say crap like this and make it so freaking funny. But even better is when Jacqueline is looking at apartment listings, complaining about how all the plus-million-dollar apartments are either too expensive or are utter crap, leading to my favorite line of this episode, which I’m going to share in video form because it’s too good:
GREAT
Both the main storylines – Titus’s and Jacqueline’s – are whatever, not exactly inspired new ground for sitcoms, but they result in some hysterical dialogue. Even better – Jacqueline having to clear out the townhouse so it can be sold means Xanthippe is back!! Her very first moments were my favorite:
Xan, seeing Kimmy in her house: What are YOU doing here?
Kimmy, trying to act cool: Being in a stupid-face contest and coming in SECOND!
Kimmy and Xan’s interactions are my favorite because Xan tries SO hard to hate Kimmy, and Kimmy does everything she can to make a girl like Xan hate her, but you can tell they like each other. And Kimmy unfailingly says the dumbest, most amazing stuff to her, like the above, to which Xan can only shake her head in disbelief.
The sale of the townhouse and Jacqueline’s new apartment search leads to another fantastic scene, this time between Kimmy and Jacqueline. During their first encounter in the apartment, Kimmy pulls this amazingness:
Kimmy: “Mrs. Voorhees…wait, you’re divorced….What do I call you now, Mrs. Voorhers??”
Only Ellie Kemper can say crap like this and make it so freaking funny. But even better is when Jacqueline is looking at apartment listings, complaining about how all the plus-million-dollar apartments are either too expensive or are utter crap, leading to my favorite line of this episode, which I’m going to share in video form because it’s too good:
I also loved in this scene how Kimmy says “drinks at the Ramada.” It’s so random and nothing but she says the words in a weird accent that made it so funny!
The other Kimmy line that made me laugh hysterically happened after getting the job at the Christmas store, when she was dressed as an elf walking down the street. She says to herself,“Oh no, those Santas must be coming from a funeral” – and the camera cuts to two Orthodox Jews as she says “I’m sorry for your loss.” I cackled.
I didn’t love the whole plot of Jacqueline trying to impress Anna Camp by putting on billionaire airs, but that’s just because Jacqueline is the best when she’s the worst person on that screen. Putting her in a vulnerable position hurts the character, I think, because she’s supposed to be a caricature, not someone you feel bad for. But I can’t really fault a storyline that led to Jacqueline, her son, and Kimmy getting into a random man’s Bentley in front of Anna Camp, and then CRAWLING over the stunned man in the backseat in order to escape through the other side, out of Anna’s view. That was some absolute GOLD physical comedy. More please!
As for Titus, he is thank goodness back to his good old self, shrieking after his closet bar collapses and explaining “Much like Icarus, a friend of mine who put too much stuff in his closet, I put too much stuff in my closet!” His plotline of taking some of his lesser worn clothes (his culottes that also double as teddy bear clothes, his outfit from when Mickey Mouse-ing was a thing in the gay community) to a thrift store was kind of forced, but like Jacqueline’s above, it allowed for hilarity. My favorite Titus line was when he looked around the cluttered, dirty thrift store and said:
Titus: “My clothes will be plucked from this hell-hole like so many Orphans Annie.”
Titus also had a little surprise treat at the end, when it turned out that the person who took his clothes from the garbage was a hot construction worker who came out to him years ago! They bond over how hard it is to put yourself out there, and how hard it is for the construction worker to hide his true self at work. The best best best part of this segment was when the man said he had to fake being one of the guys by putting a picture of a hot girl on the back of his truck. Cut to his slamming the door so we see the decal of freaking TILDA SWINTON in a glamour shot. So funny!
Lilian’s best line? Her same best line from Episode 1!!! When she and Titus go back to the thrift store, she says, “I’ll be in intimates.” Ridiculous thing to repeat but I love it!
The other Kimmy line that made me laugh hysterically happened after getting the job at the Christmas store, when she was dressed as an elf walking down the street. She says to herself,“Oh no, those Santas must be coming from a funeral” – and the camera cuts to two Orthodox Jews as she says “I’m sorry for your loss.” I cackled.
I didn’t love the whole plot of Jacqueline trying to impress Anna Camp by putting on billionaire airs, but that’s just because Jacqueline is the best when she’s the worst person on that screen. Putting her in a vulnerable position hurts the character, I think, because she’s supposed to be a caricature, not someone you feel bad for. But I can’t really fault a storyline that led to Jacqueline, her son, and Kimmy getting into a random man’s Bentley in front of Anna Camp, and then CRAWLING over the stunned man in the backseat in order to escape through the other side, out of Anna’s view. That was some absolute GOLD physical comedy. More please!
As for Titus, he is thank goodness back to his good old self, shrieking after his closet bar collapses and explaining “Much like Icarus, a friend of mine who put too much stuff in his closet, I put too much stuff in my closet!” His plotline of taking some of his lesser worn clothes (his culottes that also double as teddy bear clothes, his outfit from when Mickey Mouse-ing was a thing in the gay community) to a thrift store was kind of forced, but like Jacqueline’s above, it allowed for hilarity. My favorite Titus line was when he looked around the cluttered, dirty thrift store and said:
Titus: “My clothes will be plucked from this hell-hole like so many Orphans Annie.”
Titus also had a little surprise treat at the end, when it turned out that the person who took his clothes from the garbage was a hot construction worker who came out to him years ago! They bond over how hard it is to put yourself out there, and how hard it is for the construction worker to hide his true self at work. The best best best part of this segment was when the man said he had to fake being one of the guys by putting a picture of a hot girl on the back of his truck. Cut to his slamming the door so we see the decal of freaking TILDA SWINTON in a glamour shot. So funny!
Lilian’s best line? Her same best line from Episode 1!!! When she and Titus go back to the thrift store, she says, “I’ll be in intimates.” Ridiculous thing to repeat but I love it!
DUMB
The very first line of the episode was a bummer, as it was Kimmy assuming that a man was a woman, and she’s corrected, and that’s the joke. So lame and such outdated humor, like an unoriginal vegan joke. It would have been excused as a one off but then they repeated it! Argh why! Thankfully, this terrible interaction led to Kimmy’s telling the ‘inspiring’ story of a reindeer named Rudolph, with the kind of optimism and genuine belief that only she could muster.
What did you think about the first two back? I hope the rest of the season keeps up the standard set by #2!!
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Yo, Adrian: “Rocky” the Musical is Actually Ya Know Great
Yes this is in a Broadway theatre
Yo, Adrian, I dunno why but I had so much fun ya know like so much at “Rocky” on Broadway. It gets shaky reviews from highbrow critics (not like me tee-hee) and people who fancy themselves theatre aficionados (well that is me), but the audiences, and seemingly everyone on Twitter, love it like it’s the city of brotherly love. For shows I don’t like, I’m the first person to discount audience adoration (THOSE IGNORANT PLEBEIANS) but for shows I enjoy, like this one, come on look the audience loves it! That means it’s worth seeing!
But truly it is worth seeing. The music isn’t consistent (I found myself thinking, “Wait this is Flaherty & Aherns? The geniuses who wrote “Anastasia”???), yet even with several weak songs, the show proved that it deserved the musical treatment. It’s the only show now on Broadway that takes actual risks, many of them, and makes it pay off with a tremendously enjoyable experience. With Broadway moving towards complete takeover by jukebox musicals, revues, and over-the-top spectacles, risky and innovative musicals like this should be celebrated.
So about the actual show. Everyone knows the story, right? About the lovable down-on-his-luck boxer living in South Philadelphia (heyooo) who gets a chance at fighting in the biggest fight there is and loves a girl named Adrian? If you don’t you should go watch the movie. There’s a movie. Actually several.
My perception may have been colored because I had the best seat I’ve ever had for a show (thanks lottery! And the gods of fortune that day!). I won the cheap ticket lottery a few months ago (the show has since switched to a general rush policy with worse seats, which I think means it’s doing well) and got the seat right next to the conductor, front row center. Being that close to anything may help (but then again I had front row at “Bullets Over Broadway” and that’s not getting away with anything). The front rows are also part of the ridiculously fun Golden Circle, which we’ll get to later. Regardless, the entire audience at my performance seemed to love it, and I barely stopped smiling.
This is due mostly to Andy Karl, who plays Rocky Balboa and was deservedly nominated for a Tony Award. He is spectacular. He’s understated, super charming, funny and he works his ass off. He also drinks 3 raw eggs every performance, which is disgusting and awful but like that is commitment. Karl has a great singing voice but for this role his speaking voice was even more effective, though his (and everyone’s) accent veers more towards Brooklyn than Philly. It happens. But every time he says “Yo Adrian” – which is basically every time he opens his mouth – somehow it’s perfect and adorable and made me laugh, in the best way. Thankfully, his solo numbers were among the best songs of the show, as it should be. He has some rousing I-believe-in-me-oh-yes-you-just-watch songs, some nice ones about or with Adrian, and one really silly one to open with (“My Nose Ain’t Broken”) that establishes his character and his charm despite some cringeworthy lyrics. Also he has pet turtles. I don’t know if they are real, but he’s adorable with them. As all people are when they treat animals nicely.
Speaking of Adrian, she is a revelation. Margo Seibert’s acting is subtle and natural, and she hides this lovely voice that she expertly wields at the right moments. At several moments I had the urge to give her a hug, which was dangerous because I was close enough to actually do that. She has the most beautiful song in the show, “Raining”, which will likely become a staple performance piece of college girls trying to major in theatre. She also wears the famous red hat and white coat at the end, so nice job all around.
The lackluster songs come when other characters, like Apollo Creed, random scantily clad women, and Headmaster Charleston, were given songs that didn’t do anything to drive the plot forward. This show had enough happening; side characters didn’t need songs just to reinforce that this was a musical. They didn’t further develop the characters, but they bored the audience.
But yes so Headmaster Charleston (Dakin Matthews) is in this, playing Rocky’s coach. When I first saw him onstage I got real scared that he was going to yell at me for breaking into the school at midnight to ring a bell. Thankfully, he didn’t. He’s well cast, but he should not have a song, especially one that is lame and at the top of Act II. The beginning of Act II in any musical needs to be energetic and interesting, because a) you have to bring the audience back into the story and b) second acts are notoriously worse than first acts so why not try to fight that? This ill-planned song about how the coach used to fight or something was like RoadRunner falling off a cliff like beeeyoooahhhhhhhhhbummmmmm (#soundeffects). Filler and dead filler at best. That’s the director’s fault.
After that, the first half of the second act is pretty much training montages set to “Eye of the Tiger”, and damn if they aren’t incredibly fun. That’s how the act should have begun. I’m pretty sure Karl works out like 18 hours a day, but the workout he gets in this show would be enough for a normal person. He jogs back and forth across the stage as digital backgrounds show parts of Philly (that no sane person would run through without a vest), he does push-ups and pull-ups, he drinks the raw eggs (ew), he punches the sides of beef hanging in his friend’s meat locker (ahhhh), and yes he runs up the Art Museum steps (woooo!). I was exhausted just watching it. Hell I’m exhausted just writing about it.
So about the actual show. Everyone knows the story, right? About the lovable down-on-his-luck boxer living in South Philadelphia (heyooo) who gets a chance at fighting in the biggest fight there is and loves a girl named Adrian? If you don’t you should go watch the movie. There’s a movie. Actually several.
My perception may have been colored because I had the best seat I’ve ever had for a show (thanks lottery! And the gods of fortune that day!). I won the cheap ticket lottery a few months ago (the show has since switched to a general rush policy with worse seats, which I think means it’s doing well) and got the seat right next to the conductor, front row center. Being that close to anything may help (but then again I had front row at “Bullets Over Broadway” and that’s not getting away with anything). The front rows are also part of the ridiculously fun Golden Circle, which we’ll get to later. Regardless, the entire audience at my performance seemed to love it, and I barely stopped smiling.
This is due mostly to Andy Karl, who plays Rocky Balboa and was deservedly nominated for a Tony Award. He is spectacular. He’s understated, super charming, funny and he works his ass off. He also drinks 3 raw eggs every performance, which is disgusting and awful but like that is commitment. Karl has a great singing voice but for this role his speaking voice was even more effective, though his (and everyone’s) accent veers more towards Brooklyn than Philly. It happens. But every time he says “Yo Adrian” – which is basically every time he opens his mouth – somehow it’s perfect and adorable and made me laugh, in the best way. Thankfully, his solo numbers were among the best songs of the show, as it should be. He has some rousing I-believe-in-me-oh-yes-you-just-watch songs, some nice ones about or with Adrian, and one really silly one to open with (“My Nose Ain’t Broken”) that establishes his character and his charm despite some cringeworthy lyrics. Also he has pet turtles. I don’t know if they are real, but he’s adorable with them. As all people are when they treat animals nicely.
Speaking of Adrian, she is a revelation. Margo Seibert’s acting is subtle and natural, and she hides this lovely voice that she expertly wields at the right moments. At several moments I had the urge to give her a hug, which was dangerous because I was close enough to actually do that. She has the most beautiful song in the show, “Raining”, which will likely become a staple performance piece of college girls trying to major in theatre. She also wears the famous red hat and white coat at the end, so nice job all around.
The lackluster songs come when other characters, like Apollo Creed, random scantily clad women, and Headmaster Charleston, were given songs that didn’t do anything to drive the plot forward. This show had enough happening; side characters didn’t need songs just to reinforce that this was a musical. They didn’t further develop the characters, but they bored the audience.
But yes so Headmaster Charleston (Dakin Matthews) is in this, playing Rocky’s coach. When I first saw him onstage I got real scared that he was going to yell at me for breaking into the school at midnight to ring a bell. Thankfully, he didn’t. He’s well cast, but he should not have a song, especially one that is lame and at the top of Act II. The beginning of Act II in any musical needs to be energetic and interesting, because a) you have to bring the audience back into the story and b) second acts are notoriously worse than first acts so why not try to fight that? This ill-planned song about how the coach used to fight or something was like RoadRunner falling off a cliff like beeeyoooahhhhhhhhhbummmmmm (#soundeffects). Filler and dead filler at best. That’s the director’s fault.
After that, the first half of the second act is pretty much training montages set to “Eye of the Tiger”, and damn if they aren’t incredibly fun. That’s how the act should have begun. I’m pretty sure Karl works out like 18 hours a day, but the workout he gets in this show would be enough for a normal person. He jogs back and forth across the stage as digital backgrounds show parts of Philly (that no sane person would run through without a vest), he does push-ups and pull-ups, he drinks the raw eggs (ew), he punches the sides of beef hanging in his friend’s meat locker (ahhhh), and yes he runs up the Art Museum steps (woooo!). I was exhausted just watching it. Hell I’m exhausted just writing about it.
All of this leads to the crux of the show, and the #1 reason to see it: The Fight. Everyone who assumed that this epic battle between Rocky and Apollo Creed could not be performed well on a stage is proved wrong. So…everyone. This is when it pays to pay more for good seats up front, because the first 8 or so rows of the center orchestra, called the “Golden Circle”, are taken up on stage ON A BROADWAY STAGE OMG to act as the arena’s audience to the fight. The big boxing ring comes front and center on the stage, and the lucky audience members sit behind this on bleachers, looking out onto the rest of the audience (chumps). Then, the entire set – the bleachers holding these audience members and the ring – moves out into the orchestra, where people had just been sitting! So the people sitting in the side orchestra seats are now sitting along the sides of the ring. It’s all pretty awesome, and then the fighting begins and it’s ridiculous. I don’t know how they do it other than assuming that they are actually beating the shit out of each other for like 20 minutes. Punches fly and, as far as I could tell, land. Sweat and blood drip off their faces, and in the light you can see whatever other substance flies off boxers when they get hit. It’s insane, and intense. HOW IS THIS HAPPENING? Seriously? I met Andy Karl after the show and he looked pretty and not dead, so it’s pure stage magic happening up there. It’s one of the coolest sequences to occur on a Broadway stage, and how great that it relies solely on two actors and not on crazy technology. In this way, the show is kind of old-fashioned, yet the show as a whole – in my view the first to handle sports successfully – is modern, risky, and a must-see.
Hottest Ticket in Town “One Woman Show” is As Good As They Say
SPOILER WARNING! This one is very much not for those of you who are yet to see it. This one’s for those who have seen it or never will get to. Or, really, more for my own memory’s sake.
Liz Kingsman’s one-woman-show-parodying one woman show, called One Woman Show, is by far the funniest event happening in London right now, even funnier than my commentary through the walls to my loud neighbors asking how they smuggled elephants into a no-pets-allowed building. Her post-Fleabag scathing send-up of that type of overdramatic, confessional-style, sexually-bold-just-to-say-it-is show is at least in my opinion (and what else are we doing here) more laugh-out-loud hilarious and more interesting than any of the predecessors she’s sending up. She’s an unfairly funny person, clever with her words as much as she is with audio and visual gags that are still making me laugh.
The lines between truth and fiction are completely blurred, starting when you enter the theatre. There are notices on the bathroom doors, the walls, the stairs, alerting audience members that ‘Tonight’s performance of Wildfowl is being filmed’. I was so stupid I literally almost asked an usher if these signs were from another show, because wtf is Wildfowl? Thank goodness I didn’t, because it’s part of the show. One Woman Show has Liz playing a fictitious/exaggerated character Liz who is working on her one woman show Wildfowl about her insane shenanigans and it’s being filmed that night. Throughout, Liz asks the production manager for cues or to check on aspects of the recording process and it’s hard to know what’s real or not, it’s so well done. The show began at least 15 minutes late, and it seemed to be explained by the whole setup for the filming, but it becomes clear (to different people at different times) that the filming facade is just part of the scripted show, so I have no idea whether the delay is actually part of the show every night?? My brain hurts trying to keep it all straight! Don’t think about it too hard too too hard.
We meet Liz, the character, as she wakes up in a strange apartment after a wild night. Where am I, she wonders. Who is this guy? How do I get to work from here? When she sees a picture of herself on the fridge, she freaks out – how does he have this? I don’t even remember taking this photo in a beer garden where I clearly am having such a good time that I don’t realize anyone is taking my photo! Then she realizes it’s her own house. Writer Liz has analyzed what worked for Fleabag &c, and what has gotten copied ad nauseum, and mirrors those details while simultaneously skewering them. She later gets hit by a bridge, but mostly shakes it off.
From here, I could keep going on about how funny it is, even though the word funny feels incredibly ill-suited to just how funny it is, and this would be supes boring to read, so I’m going to share my favorite parts instead, mostly so I remember them later:
When Liz asks a new, secretive lover when he will be getting back from Africa, he responds: “When does anyone get back from Africa?” Husbo and I immediately made mental notes to say that nonstop for the next few weeks (side note we are going to Africa next week).
When Liz’s Australian boss Dana, who Liz imitates by standing like a flamingo, delivers her super insightful monologues that skewer the whole genre going beyond simple retorts and instead present Liz’s entire theses in unedited, hilarious form, like when she directly states to Liz, “You’re not a mess; you just want to be seen as one.” I MEAN. THAT’S THE WHOLE THING OF THESE SHOWS.
When the lighting changed for a scene and a bit of a Grammarly commercial started playing, like we were in a mfing YouTube video. I think that’s what made me laugh the hardest the entire night.
When the production manager says repeatedly that the next segment in the script has the cue PAUL and you think it’ll be about another man she slept with but instead it’s about the chain of French bakery coffeeshops we have here, PAUL.
The reveal of Phil not being a new coworker but a POTTED PLANT (so stupid) buoyed by the audio recap of everything she had previously said about him (amazing).
When she is responsible for the demise of an entire species of bird, but sees that there are so many more birds out in nature, and says dreamily “maybe I am enough.” It’s too brilliant it hurts.
Sight gags in order of amazingness:
- The moat reveal for the stalls. (We really had no idea there was a moat.)
- The water bottles during the ‘break’ as they discuss what’s going on with the filming: the small bottle of water she sips from stage right…then the bigger liter of water she takes from stage left…then the gigantic water cooler replacement she takes from backstage. TOO DYING.
- Best one: At the end, when she says her performance isn’t as vulnerable and honest as she hopes unless she gets truly naked, so she goes to take off her clothes, her random unflattering big tee shirt and overalls, only to reveal she’s wearing the SAME EXACT OUTFIT underneath. Whatever anyone was expecting her to have underneath, this was funnier.
Lightning round mentions:
- Meeting at The Old Queen’s Leg, RIDICULOUSLY perfect pisstake of British pub names
- Having drinks at Las Iguas/Lassy Guas (Las Iguanas). I was hysterical it’s so stupid.
- “He walked me from Notting Hill to Bank Station.”
- Her friend with the Northern Irish brogue who funnily enough “doesn’t speak in any of my memories”.
- What made this audience laugh hardest: When she has random sex at a club and the guy is behind her and she says “this is my favorite position, because I can still narrate.”
I mean, this isn’t even half of it. I do think that line that her boss gives, the ‘You’re not a mess, you just want to be seen as one’, is sensational in how effectively and efficiently it describes this type of confessional, supposedly honest-to-a-fault genre that was saturating the market for a bit. Its hard-hittingness stands out a bit from the rest of the show’s humor but it’s the part that showed me how well Liz understood her assignment and how far her submission went above and beyond the rest.
INFORMATION
Playing at the Ambassadors Theatre, which might have the worst and oldest toilet situation in the country.
It is meant to run 1 hour 10 minutes but it started at least 15 minutes late as I said so we got out at like 10:45. Oh we went to the 9:15 show, there’s an early and a late show which I’m sure is really hard for the performer but really fun for me.
Jon Snow and ginger wife were there.
