"Once: The Musical" Is Still A Triumph Away From Broadwayby Randi / November 10, 2013
I’m tired of pie crust. That’s right, I said that. That just happened. I’ve made so many lately, going through so much palm-oil-laced Earth Balance, that I presently have no desire to eat any more buttery layers or bake with questionable morals. But it was my dad’s birthday recently, and when I ask him what he wants for his birthday ‘cake’, he always says Boston cream pie. Well, not exactly. He recounts what he would have as a child: a Sara Lee graham crust with “soft, gray chocolate” (ew) layer and white cream on top. I’m not sure that’s a Boston cream pie, and when I made the one from Vegan Pie in the Sky, he said it was nothing like what he remembers (though delicious). So I winged a recipe from scratch and you’ll have to make it now because, like I said, best pie ever. And it’s so easy to make! No weird ingredients, and so much wiggle room with the ingredients.
What’s the secret, you ask? It’s my aforementioned (likely momentary) abhorrence for regular pie crust. Instead of dealing with that nonsense, I altered a batch of my favorite cinnamon sugar cookies and spread the batter into the pie shell. It baked up like nobody’s business, puffing up uncontrollably and amazingly, rising and rising like a souffle. As it cooled, it fortunately sank a little (so I could fit the other components on top), but it was the most delicious and most fun pie crust ever. I see a lot of cookie crusts in my future.
What’s the secret, you ask? It’s my aforementioned (likely momentary) abhorrence for regular pie crust. Instead of dealing with that nonsense, I altered a batch of my favorite cinnamon sugar cookies and spread the batter into the pie shell. It baked up like nobody’s business, puffing up uncontrollably and amazingly, rising and rising like a souffle. As it cooled, it fortunately sank a little (so I could fit the other components on top), but it was the most delicious and most fun pie crust ever. I see a lot of cookie crusts in my future.
This went fast
What about the soft, gray chocolate, you ask? First, I put out of my mind the question of what on earth Sara Lee did to chocolate to give it those qualities. Then, I set about my usual daily activity of melting a pot of dark chocolate, wondering what I could add to it to prevent it from hardening. I needed fat, I knew that, and some milk. For the fat, I used a combination of full-fat coconut milk and Earth Balance, in order to significantly decrease the amount of butter used. I also had to add sugar, because my dad hates dark chocolate. It worked out really well, resulting it a soft, creamy chocolate layer that kept its proper coloring.
As for the top layer, I used silken tofu, a drop of peanut butter for consistency (just enough for a hint of nuttiness but not enough to tell it’s PB, so any nut butter would work), and just a tiny bit of sweetener to offset the very sweet bottom layer and the very rich middle layer. The result was pretty much perfection.
As for the top layer, I used silken tofu, a drop of peanut butter for consistency (just enough for a hint of nuttiness but not enough to tell it’s PB, so any nut butter would work), and just a tiny bit of sweetener to offset the very sweet bottom layer and the very rich middle layer. The result was pretty much perfection.
CINNAMON CHOCOLATE CREAM PIE
Notes: will kick Sara Lee’s soft gray behind
Notes: will kick Sara Lee’s soft gray behind
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FOR THE COOKIE CRUST
Ingredients:
Directions:
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Before cooking, but you can still eat it because no eggs! 
Look how puffy!!! |
IT’S BIG AND BEEYOOOOTIFUL!
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FOR THE CHOCOLATE FILLING
Ingredients:
Directions:
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How many pictures of melting chocolate in this saucepan are on this blog 
Just go ahead and stick your face in it |
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FOR THE WHITE CREAM Ingredients:
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The top cream is thin, so it gets messy, but it’s delicious. A delicious mess. |
Directions:
- Blend it all in a blender until smooth.
- Pour it over the pie and refrigerate for several hours.
Like I said this was amazing. It’s messy, especially if you cut into it before it’s fully set like we did. But we didn’t care because it was sooo good. Hot damn. Go make it!
Related Posts
Berlin Food Guide: Eat Like A Hobbit And You Shall Be Rewarded
Let’s continue Berlin week with the general food guide! The unbelievable plethora of vegan food was the most surprising and enjoyable part of Berlin. We also have several amazing restaurant and special store spotlights coming.
I realize that my travel guides always tend to suggest that you eat like a hobbit (constantly/tremendously/gluttonously), but I really mean it this time. Like super mean it. Berlin is the most vegan-friendly European city. I’m pretty sure it’s the most vegan-friendly non-American city, actually. If you disagree, please buy me a ticket to your city of choice and I’ll let you know.
I realize that my travel guides always tend to suggest that you eat like a hobbit (constantly/tremendously/gluttonously), but I really mean it this time. Like super mean it. Berlin is the most vegan-friendly European city. I’m pretty sure it’s the most vegan-friendly non-American city, actually. If you disagree, please buy me a ticket to your city of choice and I’ll let you know.
Curry #1 at FBI
EATERY FBI
Anyway! My first food stop was an urgent, unplanned curry meal at Eatery FBI, right near our hotel in Potsdamer Platz. I think it stands for Free Berlin Ich. Famous Bread Inhere. Federal Bosnian Intervention? The servers were very knowledgeable about what was vegan, and they spoke English of course. They also made a green smoothie that I got a few mornings! Score! The curry was decent for what was essentially fast food – comforting and it tasted good! I hate the word tasty but I would probably use it here if I could stomach it.
Anyway! My first food stop was an urgent, unplanned curry meal at Eatery FBI, right near our hotel in Potsdamer Platz. I think it stands for Free Berlin Ich. Famous Bread Inhere. Federal Bosnian Intervention? The servers were very knowledgeable about what was vegan, and they spoke English of course. They also made a green smoothie that I got a few mornings! Score! The curry was decent for what was essentially fast food – comforting and it tasted good! I hate the word tasty but I would probably use it here if I could stomach it.
Curry #2!
JIVAMUKTI CANTEEN
One of my favorite cafes was the Jivamukti Canteen in Mitte (central), inside the Jivamukti Yoga studio. Yes, just like Jivamukti in NYC! It’s a franchise! So nice! Cafes inside yoga studios typically sell the exact food I would want at any given time. It’s always plain, fresh, arguably healthy, and yummy but veering towards bland, in the best way possible. Like Prasad in Portland with its lovely bowls and soups. Perfection. Anyway, we shared several dishes. The best was the potato salad, because it wasn’t that disgusting mayonnaise-covered crap that you know as potato salad. It was just lightly dressed potatoes, peppers, cucumber, celery, and herbs in a little mason jar!
Jivamukti’s potato salad I had a tofu sandwich that, while it sounds like the shittiest thing ever, was great. I mostly credit the spectacular, sturdy, chewy baguette that raised the sandwich to a higher level. Bread is so important. The tofu slices were yummy too, fresh and flavored and so much better than ready-made vegan lunchmeat blech ach. It had a bit of mustardy spread, tomatoes, and other salad fixings on it and it was so good!
We also tried a…this. What’s it called? It’s a fried gooey cheesy and spinach pastry. It was good but not my typical yoga studio fare; it’s a little too fried and oily for my taste. 
Is this just a savory danish? Are they German? I’m lost. |
Potatoes and sandwich at the Jiva 
My sandwich??? MY SANDWICH??????!!!!!!!! 
All kinds of drinks |
Of course I also had a green juice. I chose the one called Green Machine, with cucumber, celery, fennel, kale, lemon, and apple. It was delicious AND there was very little pulp left at the bottom. Seriously, professional juice-selling people need to work on this across the board. Anyway, juice good. We also tried a raw brownie and it was definitely on the higher end of the very very short range of how raw brownies can taste (i.e. they are all pretty much the same).
Yummeeeeeeeeee
MOMOS DUMPLINGS
Momos is a little place selling freshly steamed Nepalese dumplings. They’re more like ravioli than the Chinese or Japanese dumplings you or I might expect, in that there is less doughy part. Despite the slightly lower carb level, the taste was pretty good, with strong curries and spices coming through. I prefer less spicy dumplings, but if you are a fan of strong curry flavors or, of course, Nepalese dumplings, then you’ll like this place. I just had a steamed bun yesterday, so right now I’m like give me all the big puffy balls of dough and so a little biased in my memory. The vegan options are clearly marked (and the majority of options are vegan). You can get your dumplings pan-fried or steamed, and you can choose small (8 momos), medium (14 momos), or large (18 momos), with 1-3 dips. We got a small because this was second lunchies, and we got the mitho sauce, which is another strong curry-like tomato dip. It was a little too much of the same flavors so I’d suggest a different dip.
Momos is a little place selling freshly steamed Nepalese dumplings. They’re more like ravioli than the Chinese or Japanese dumplings you or I might expect, in that there is less doughy part. Despite the slightly lower carb level, the taste was pretty good, with strong curries and spices coming through. I prefer less spicy dumplings, but if you are a fan of strong curry flavors or, of course, Nepalese dumplings, then you’ll like this place. I just had a steamed bun yesterday, so right now I’m like give me all the big puffy balls of dough and so a little biased in my memory. The vegan options are clearly marked (and the majority of options are vegan). You can get your dumplings pan-fried or steamed, and you can choose small (8 momos), medium (14 momos), or large (18 momos), with 1-3 dips. We got a small because this was second lunchies, and we got the mitho sauce, which is another strong curry-like tomato dip. It was a little too much of the same flavors so I’d suggest a different dip.
VONER
My pick for what place out of Berlin should be franchised internationally in every major city is Vöner, the VEGAN DONER restaurant in the Friedrichshain neighborhood. That’s right, not only does it have the cutest sign ever but it is vegan doner. Like doner kebab, you know that disgusting slab of hanging meat that sellers shave off and wrap up in pita for? But it’s all vegan! They have burgers, fish & chips, all manner of vegan doner, and even Berlin’s very well known fave currywurst (which we will recreate later this week!). Definitely get the vöner. I got it as a platter but I wish I got it in the pita because I love bread. Still, the vöner was so awesome!! The chips were good, the tahini sauce was solid, and it had a little bit of Israeli salad (I wonder what it’s called here?). But the seitan vöner was amazing! I love this place so much! I would go every week if I lived there.
My pick for what place out of Berlin should be franchised internationally in every major city is Vöner, the VEGAN DONER restaurant in the Friedrichshain neighborhood. That’s right, not only does it have the cutest sign ever but it is vegan doner. Like doner kebab, you know that disgusting slab of hanging meat that sellers shave off and wrap up in pita for? But it’s all vegan! They have burgers, fish & chips, all manner of vegan doner, and even Berlin’s very well known fave currywurst (which we will recreate later this week!). Definitely get the vöner. I got it as a platter but I wish I got it in the pita because I love bread. Still, the vöner was so awesome!! The chips were good, the tahini sauce was solid, and it had a little bit of Israeli salad (I wonder what it’s called here?). But the seitan vöner was amazing! I love this place so much! I would go every week if I lived there.
Vöner platter
We also tried a platter of the currywurst, which is a take on Berlin’s favorite local food, a curry-besauced sausage sold in trucks on every single corner. I loved the seitan in both platters; it was so well done. But the curry sauce is so weird! Husband said it was pretty much how real currywurst is, so currywurst is just weird. (Yay let’s make it later!)
Vegan currywurst
OHLALA
My other absolute favorite place that I would go to every week (or maybe every day) if I lived there is Ohlala, billed as a ‘dessert restaurant’ but is really actually heaven. While they do have actual food there – we had a good quiche and a salad – the desserts steal the show, your hearts, everything that can be stolen.
My other absolute favorite place that I would go to every week (or maybe every day) if I lived there is Ohlala, billed as a ‘dessert restaurant’ but is really actually heaven. While they do have actual food there – we had a good quiche and a salad – the desserts steal the show, your hearts, everything that can be stolen.
Look at this stuff. Isn’t it neat? |
White hot chocolate that I tried. It was SO FREAKING GOOD. And I love the ballsiness of putting a hot beverage in a regular glass. |
First, the quiche:
Spinach quiche and salad at Ohlala!
The spinach quiche was pretty good! It was nothing to write home about but it was yummy. I remember the crust being kind of spongy, which was weird, because I’d expect the crust in a mostly dessert place to be perfectly crusty. The salad it came with was covered in a little too much dressing that was a little too mustardy, but I’m always happy to have fresh salad when traveling so overall I enjoyed my food here. But. What came next was a delight!
Whuuuuut.
This pyramid sonofabeach was a peanut butter-chocolate extravaganza of richness. I feel like this is the real gift the Egyptians meant to leave the Earth. Look at this bitch! It was so so good. This is the kind of thing it’s good to share because that dark chocolate can really do some gluttony inhibiting. Man alive this was decadent.
Rich chocolate cake
Next, we tried the dark chocolate sponge cake. The texture was perfect but I prefer things a little sweeter? I think? Maybe it wasn’t so much unsweet as just a little hard to read. Like the chocolate wasn’t coming through enough for me. It needed a pinch of salt maybe to make that happen. If you prefer your chocolate cake more subtle and deep, this one is for you. My favorite part was the whipped cream.
But, if you do happen to be going to Ohlala, none of the above matters, because you can get this freaktastic work of all the genies in the atmosphere:
The Tresor. IT’S A FREAKING INTERNATIONAL TREASURE! THIS IS WHAT THOSE STUPID NICHOLAS CAGE MOVIES SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABOUT! I’M JUST KIDDING THOSE MOVIES ARE NOT STUPID THEY ARE AMAZING!
LOOK AT THAT SONOFABITCH! AHHHHHHH!!! I still can’t believe I was lucky enough to eat this mofo. This is a chocolate hazelnut freaking work of ART. That light chocolate mousse on the outside is absolutely perfect in taste and texture, and it’s coated with crushed crunchy nuts. But it houses SUCH SECRETS you can’t even BELIEVE! So much so that in the previous sentence I first wrote ‘secrest’ and almost didn’t change it because it might as well have housed Ryan Seacrest in there for how surprising and amazing this is. Except it’s SO MUCH BETTER THAN RYAN SEACREST IS THERE? Ok, are you ready? It’s like this chocolate ganache and when you get to the center, A FLOOD OF CARAMELLY CHOCOLATEY LAVA POURS OUT OF THE MIDDLE. And THEN THERE IS A HAZELNUT. I CAN’T STOP YELLING IN MY HEAD. This is definitely one of the five most incredible outstanding things I have ever, ever eaten, anywhere. Go get one now.
I don’t know how we move on from there, but move on we must. Moving on…
DOLORES BURRITOS
I would say that Dolores is another place I’d go to all the time if I lived near it, but I pretty much already do, because it’s just like a Chipotle. Not that I necessarily live super close to a Chipotle anymore, but there are some in London and I’m near a Chilango and apparently that is close enough to. ANYWAY the point is, very good, solid burrito place with clearly marked vegan options. Yay!
BURRITO ROCKET |
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QIU RESTAURANT in the Mandala Hotel
On our last night in Berlin, we were so beat and realized so late that we were hungry, so we checked out the restaurant in the hotel. Not the super fancy one that had two Michelin stars, because that was booked for quite some time, but the little sister restaurant Qiu, which still seemed way too fancy to cater to veganism. Also, this little piece of amazingness was on the menu (and I’m still laughing at the wording):
On our last night in Berlin, we were so beat and realized so late that we were hungry, so we checked out the restaurant in the hotel. Not the super fancy one that had two Michelin stars, because that was booked for quite some time, but the little sister restaurant Qiu, which still seemed way too fancy to cater to veganism. Also, this little piece of amazingness was on the menu (and I’m still laughing at the wording):
Lolol
However, the super friendly waiter helped make an actually great meal for me! Yes, it was a take on pasta primavera, so I hear all of you groaning in response to this too-frequent too-easy offer from like every single restaurant in their shitty attempts to accommodate vegans, but this was delicious! He also worked together a great salad for me.
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So, this is just to tell you that if you stay at the Mandala Hotel, or find yourself in Potsdamer Platz late at night and don’t know what to do, you can eat well at Qiu.
ICE CREAM – EISSALON TANNE B & CARAMELLO
Last but certainly not least: ice cream! Berlin, like every European city, loves its ice cream a sumbitch. There are salons (with the emphasis on the first syllable obvs) everywhere, and so many have vegan options. And most of you know my deep, deep hatred for places that only offer vegan fruit sorbets. TRY A LITTLE HARDER PEOPLE. I want chocolate or something awesome and non-fruit. I eat fruit for breakfast! Luckily, the SALons in Berlin offer wonderful non-cheater vegan options. My favorite was Eissalon Tanne B, in Kreuzberg. Get it? Eissalon= ice salon? Love it. I had absolutely wonderful chocolate and cherry.
This ice cream was positively delightful! The cherry wasn’t sorbet but legit ice cream, so it wasn’t cheating, and the chocolate was so delicious! No So Delicious the brand but sooo delicious nonetheless. And the cones were vegan! Yayyy!
We also found vegan treats at Caramello in Friedrichshain. Friedrichshain, by the way, is like a small Brooklyn in terms of vegan-friendliness by density. Even the non-food shoppes were vegan-friendly (tattoos mostly). 
THESE ARE NOT MY HANDS! |
Eissalon Tanne B 
Caramello I don’t know whose chocolate + red fruit-flavored ice creams were better! Yummy!
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So, as you can see, Berlin is a vegan paradise! This doesn’t even cover the bigger restaurants we enjoyed; they will come later this week. Please let me know if any of my recommendations work out for you! I want to see pictures of inside the Tresor! I know I took some but I can’t find them! Also, what are your favorite places in Berlin?
Veganizing “Friends”: Joey’s (AND ONLY JOEY’S) Fried Clams
As we’ve studied the eating habits of the Friends over the past few weeks, what is the most important lesson we’ve learned? JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD. Correct! In “The One With The Birth Mother”, in one of my favorite Joey storylines, he dates a woman (Annie Parisse) who does silly things like order plain salads but mooch off of Joey’s dinner. I agree with Joey on this one: Order the food you want to eat! (As long as it’s vegan, obvs.) Anyway, Annie (let’s just call her Annie) doesn’t really understand that it’s weird to take food off of someone else’s plate, at least without asking first. The conflict comes to a hilarious climax with Joey’s seafood platter dinner. He thinks he’s successfully distracted her with extra fries (which he is willing to share), but no such luck:
HAHA Joey at the end of the above video is MY FAVORITE EVER. Anyway! So, as you heard, the following conversation occurred:
Annie: (looks over at Joey’s platter) Oh wow, are those stuffed clams?
Joey: Uhhh.. yes, they are my stuffed clams.
Now, you’re probably thinking, “Hold on, woman. It says ‘stuffed clams’, not ‘fried clams.'” A few points:
- See his seafood platter plate, with all those little fried somethings? They look clam-sized, not shrimp-sized. (I know you see the actual stuffed clam in the shell later, but he could have had clams a few ways!)
- What do you think Joey would like better, something stuffed, or something fried? Correct.
So, we’re going to make fried clams. Much better idea, right? Who has food-grade seashells lying around?
Nori is not the best idea here
I generally used the homemade seitan recipe from The PPK blog, because it’s great. I ripped the seitan pieces into long strips, and boiled it in broth with seaweed and dill thrown in. I didn’t have any kombu, so I used nori in the broth. If you have kombu, use that, because the nori isn’t meant for boiling and it disintegrated. Messy seaweed. You can see in the picture, it gets kind of weird. Kombu would impart a stronger flavor anyway. After the strips boiled, I breaded them and baked them. Let’s see!
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FIRST, MAKE SEITAN
INGREDIENTS:
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DIRECTIONS:
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How weird does this look with the disintegrating nori! Don’t do it!
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THEN, BREAD THE STRIPS
INGREDIENTS:
Coated strips, ready for cooking These turned out really well! They might not be salty enough for you, but that’s what sauces are for. You can make a vegan tartar sauce by blending vegan mayo, mustard, pickle relish, and capers, or you can just use ketchup. Really, any kind of sauce works here. An amazing thing I might do tomorrow with the leftovers is to mix vegan mayo with sriracha and a drop of Frank’s for a crazy spicy orange mayo like the type that comes with sushi rolls.
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DIRECTIONS:
It makes a lot! Dayum! |
Now, with your sauces ready, your strips crunchy and baked (or fried if you are awesome), you can enjoy them on a plate, as Joey did in this episode. ORRR, you can honor Mr. Joseph Francis Tribbiani even more, and make a sandwich! Because what is Joey’s favorite food? Say it with me: Sandwiches!!!
It’s aliiiiive! |
Not bad for my first try |
In sandwich form, I’d definitely recommend tartar sauce and whatever else fried-clams-on-rolls are usually served with up in New England. So good! These were overall really easy to make, and they turned out well. You can play with the breading mixture and add spices as you desire, perhaps some cayenne pepper, curry powder, or, if you are like me, more nooch. Yum! And, let’s say it all together now:
Giveaway trivia!
- Joey’s favorite food is, of course, sandwiches. But what is his favorite kind of sandwich?
- In Monica and Chandler’s storyline, they meet a woman at the adoption center who likes them. What does this woman think M & C do for a living?
- Extra credit: What Pulitzer-prize winning show featured a fantastic Annie Parisse?
