Veganizing “Friends”: The Joey Special!!!

During my latest trip home to Philadelphia, PA (how far are theyyyy), I had just enough time to try two of the city’s newest and best lunch-time offerings. Rich Landau’s most informal restaurant yet, Wiz Kid, specializes in a few stellar sandwiches in the grand old greasy Philly cheesesteak tradition, but veganized (and so much better). Goldie highlights the street food of another big city, Tel Aviv, with an Israeli-style falafel shop selling, well, just a falafel sandwich or salad, fries (with optional shwarma flavoring!), and the greatest single and singular item in the city right now, which we’ll talk about. At the end, I’ll share my pretty accurate recipe for that magical item so let’s get to it. 

On my first journey downtown in a good six months, my first stop was Wiz Kid, the hottest little diner-looking joint from the genius of Rich Landau and Kate Jacoby (of Vedge and V Street fame). I dragged my mom and my aunt into the cute little space adjoining V Street (the bathroom for Wiz Kid patrons is actually V Street’s) at 11:30 am so we could set up camp before the lunch crowd came in. I also needed the reinforcements so we could confidently order the entire menu, or most of it. It’s a small menu but even so, I can’t do that all myself. We ordered all three sandwiches, one of the two salads (I always need a salad), and the coolest sounding fries. 

The WK Philly is the #1 thing you have to get in Philly right now (savory edition) – the vegan (and improved) take on the classic Philly cheesesteak with wiz (or is that just ‘wit’? I never ordered one). It’s a shredded seitan and mushroom steak mix, with fried onions and Rich’s famous (for dern good reason) rutabaga cheese wiz. And that roll! Ugh every bit of it was perfection, like gum. I don’t think anyone with an open mind would eat that and ever want a real cheesesteak ever again. Just spectacular. 

The Sabich Steak is the above but Israelized (getting in the mood for our next stop, below!) – the WK plus grilled eggplant, whipped tahini, Israeli salad, and harissa tofu. Mmm it was so fun, especially if you like to stuff your sandwiches full of as much stuff as possible like I do. It was so messy but this kind of food is supposed to be! It’s fun like that! The harissa tofu added a bit of spiciness and the salad added some very complementary (not complimentary it didn’t tell me I was pretty) (see we learn things here) freshness. And tahini is always a good addition (more on that later). Yum! The Sabich and the WK Philly both were kind of oily on the bread but without being greasy. It was like a masterwork of the perfect amount of oiliness for this kind of food. 

Lastly, the KFT was another glorious sandwich on this wee menu. I LOVE tempeh, and I eat it just baked with no doctoring at all a lot which is objectively gross but I still love it, so I’m a bit biased about tempeh. I realize that not everyone loves it, and I think that despite the amazing flavors in this sandwich, it’s still a big ole hunk of tempeh in the center, so if you aren’t already a lover, you probs won’t love this sandwich. However, if like me you love a big ole hunk of tempeh in your life, then this Korean fried tempeh sandwich with tomato, radish kimchee (I know), and sriracha thousand island dressing (I knowww) will be your new fave. I loved that it switched up the bread and instead of the harder cheesesteak roll of the other two, this was served on a softer burger roll. That dressing oh man, it was so good. 

As usual, I had to order a salad even though my dining companions weren’t interested because that’s how I always do. I chose the more interesting sounding King Cobb Salad, with garbanzos (what are you fancy chickpeas?), hearts of palm, pickled cauliflower olive salad, harissa tofu (you again!), and lemon sumac dressing. The dressing was a little tart (I mean obviously it was lemon based) and I think I would have preferred something not as tart so I didn’t make acidy sourface the whole time. But it was a great mix of salad ingredients, which I always love to have. My own salads at home are usually just lettuce (cue husband saying “that’s not a salad!”) so I love fun interesting ones out in the wild. I think, however, that you aren’t as Wiz Kid for the salads. Stick to HipCityVeg for salads in a burger-joint environment that actually rival the burgers. At Wiz Kid you are here for the sandwiches. Like Joey! 

Lastly, we tried the super interesting okonomiyaki fries, mostly because I want to go to Japan. These are the standard WK hand-cut fries but with Korean bbq sauce, nori (seaweed!), and kewpie, which I never knew was a food and not weird type of doll (it’s a mayo!). They were fun but I would love to try the Wiz Fries next which I assume are cheese fries. Actually I didn’t even have them but I’m gonna go ahead and recommend them. I just want to buy a tub of the rutabaga cheese. Dammit Landau! 

Overall, this place is amazing. These sandwiches, the steak, the CHEESE, lordy lord there’s a reason Rich Landau is considered a magician sent from another realm to make eating vegan easier and more delicious than mere humans ever thought possible. The only draw, really, was that the young lady working was kindaaaa a b word to me and my peeps. We were the only people there when we arrived and I’m stupid nice to strangers so like what the heck lady? I thought maybe I was just too PINK and SMILEY but my trusted Philly food guru friend said she was mean to her too. Why so mean to us lady??!! You’re surrounded by such lovely food! 

First of all, let’s all give me a hand for finally learning that it’s Goldie, standing alone, and not the possessive Goldie’s as I’ve been saying for months. Goldie has an even babier menu than Wiz Kid, but it’s exactly how it needs to be for a little falafel joint. You can choose the falafel in a pita (recommended), the falafel in a salad (what I had because see above about me and salads), fries, and/or a shake. THAT’S IT BRO. They are making just a few things and making them perfectly – as you’d expect from Michael Solomonov, the Israeli chef and restaurateur (ps just learned this minute that it’s not ‘restauranteur’ mind blown) behind Philly’s frequent #1 restaurant, Zahav. In fact, Goldie is considered ‘baby Zahav’ and not just by fans of Solomonov – Zahav means ‘gold’ in Hebrew, so Goldie is indeed officially ‘baby Zahav’. CUUUUUTE! 

I should have gotten the falafel in the pita, but you can take my proclivity to order salads to Vegas. The salad was too acidic, awash in lemon and vinegar and hard to finish because my stomach lining was wearing away. It needed hummus or tahini to cut the paint thinner finish of it. The falafel itself was good, but honestly I think there’s a falafel ceiling, as my husband once suggested and it might be the smartest thing he’s ever said (and he says smart things). Like, falafel exists on a very small spectrum of quality. It’s never bad, it’s usually good, and even the very best falafel are all kind of the same. There’s no way to make falafel that’s insanely better than your average falafel. There’s a ceiling. So even though it was really good here, it can only be so good in the world of falafel. It’s all about how it’s served, so go for the pita, for which you can choose an extra side sauce, either mango curry, harissa, or schug. SCHUG AAAAAAVERY! who’s shug avery? SCHUG AAAAAVERY! SHUG AVERY NOT A CHILD RAISIN’ WOMAN! YOU KNOW THAT! sorry can’t help it and yes I did sing this bit from The Color Purple when I saw the menu. 

Goldie got INCREDIBLY crowded at about 11:45am so prepare to take away instead of waiting for a table. It’s a tiny little cute place but guess what, they do have a bathroom! And a nice one at that! Loving these new Philly lunch spots. Philly is the best. 

But the thing you go to Goldie for is not the falafel, even with the schug avery. It’s for their milkshake, now considered the best in the city I mean WORLD. It’s a tahini milkshake. I know you’re like what hmm I’d prefer chocolate. But no. You’re wrong. It’s the best thing in the WORLD. It tastes like creamy liquid halva. Oh my god I wanted to cry. I’ll cry now. It’s amazing. They have several flavors, including coconut rose, which my friend got and I tried and yep it is also cry-worthy. I would keep crying and crying over my nonspilt milkshake but there’s no reason to now because I RECREATED IT!! I don’t know how I did it but I did it! Okay that’s not true I’m literally about to tell you how I did it, I don’t know why I said that. My god it’s so good. 

It’s rare for me to care about cooking with certain specific ingredients – I’m very flexible in my cookery – but for this I think these specific ingredients are vital. At least the ice cream. It really makes it, and it doesn’t hurt that it’s the best ice cream I’ve ever tasted in my life. I’m not joking. I mean I would NEVER ever order or buy vanilla ice cream when literally any other (nonfruit) flavor exists in this world but this Very Vanilla cashew-based ice cream from So Delicious is beyond anything I’ve ever tried. Oh man! 

Ingredients:

• 1/3 cup Ripple Pea Protein milk in vanilla
• 1/4 cup tahini 
• 1 cup So Delicious Cashew Milk ice cream in Very Vanilla
• Trader Joe’s new Coconut Whipped Cream – aka the GREATEST 

Directions:

1. Blend the milk and tahini in a blender RG (real good). Seriously please blend these before adding the ice cream because that way you will not overblend and thus liquefy the ice cream and end up with a UK-style ‘milkshake’ which is a lie and is really just flavored milk DON’T DO IT milkshakes should be THICK. 
2. Add the ice cream and blend for as short a stint as possible.
3. Pour into a glass. A pretty one!
4. Add a good 5 second spray of the Coconut whip (after you’ve shot a good 10 second spray directly into your mouth) and mix through with a spoon. Then top with a whole lot more whip, like the whole can. 
5. ENJOY!!!
6. VISIT PHILLY!!!

My recent trip home to Philly and NYC was jam-packed with new and delicious vegan food options, from the carrot lox at Orchard Grocer to Philly’s amazing new joints Wiz Kid and Goldie. Add in all the incredible new finds at Trader Joe’s and I was almost overwhelmed with vegan options, especially considering my dearth of options this past summer in Central Asia! With vegan treats coming at me from all sides, you’d think it would be hard to choose a favorite, but that was the easy part. The new (at least in my book, come on I’ve been gone forever) outpost of Juice Merchant, an all-vegan 100% organic cafe, on Montgomery Avenue in Narberth wins that honor. (There’s also one in Manayunk.) The food, while not Landau-levels of otherworldly perfection, is solidly good, sometimes great; the menu is the exact perfect size for offering tons of options but not being overwhelming (us vegans aren’t used to having such choice!); the drinks menu is flawless; the staff is insanely nice; and the desserts – guys – the desserts are from Vegan Treats. Finally a place on the Main Line with a constant supply of that peanut butter mousse! 

If you’re a devoted reader, you know that if I don’t have salad access, I’m pretty cranky. I love salad, what can I say, I’m a total boring stereotype. I’m also a big fan of Joey so I love sandwiches, especially those that can pass as somewhat healthy. This in large part explains why I loved Juice Merchant so much – their menu is composed primarily of interesting salads and fun but still healthy sandwiches, so it’s like it’s tailor-made for my tastes. It reaches that hard-to-find balance between fun-but-greasy-tummy-ache food on one side of the spectrum and so-raw-and-health-conscious-that-it-tastes-like-feet on the other. Everything I tried – and hoo boy, did we try a lot – was good, and some was great. And next time I’m in town, I know some easy tweaks (“t-w-e-a-k-ing tweaking”) for when I order that, given how nice and accommodating the staff was, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind making. And I’ll share my thoughts on those tweaks herein so you can use them if/when you go. And if you’re in the area, you should. 

For dinner one evening between my party, we tried the three sandwiches and one flatbread. I know you’re thinking, ‘dude you JUST said how much you love salads and I see a prettayyyy prettayyy big salad section on the picture of the menu above so are you a liar or what?’ And I know, I was going to order at least one salad but guess what, ALL the sandwiches come with side salads! So it’s like winning extra prizes and getting to try two things when you get a sandwich! I mean OBVIOUSLY if I had my druthers I would have gotten a full salad too but I was with sandwich-preferers and honestly you can’t lose with this menu. Damn I LOVE side salad inclusions! My first choice was the Vegan Cubano, because I love jackfruit and I love the cubanos I’ve had in the past (like at Blackbird in Philly, man alive, but definitely a place that veers towards the too-fun-for-me side of the spectrum).  Juice Merchant’s cubano was made with dehydrated jackfruit, vegan cheese, dijon mustard, and pickles. Dehydrating the jackfruit is a really interesting move. I’m not sure how necessary it is, since it makes the sandwich a little drier than it would be otherwise, but it gives the sandwich a kicking smokiness which is the payoff. I think my edition needed a bit more on the pickle-side to cut all that dark smokiness, and maybe a piece of lettuce would help as well. It also didn’t have that much cheese, which is usually a good thing for me but maybe the teensiest bit more would have been good. But my two non-vegan dining companions thought it was amazing and I’m very particular, so it’s all good. It came on a cute little English-muffin-almost-looking bun that gave it the right bread-to-filling ratio. I’m all about ratios. ALSO, the side salad it came with had chickpeas and a great balsamic-based dressing so yay!! This entire big platter was only $9.50, which, living in London and coming from NYC in the days before, seemed just about free to me. 

My next top choice (I have a lot of tops and bests and favorites, as you know) was the BLTA, a twist on the classic with automatic avocado. Automatic avocado is a surefire way to win me over, especially outside of the UK where the avocado might actually be good. The B in this sandwich was made from portobello mushroom, flavored and cooked like bacon, and it was delicious. The ratio (I’m all about ratios) of the mushroom bacon to tomato to lettuce to avocado was right, and the regular sandwich bread it was on was grilled and it was all perfect. It had a good amount of red onion too, which normally I hate but it worked well here. This was my fave sandwich by far. Just so perfect and delicious. This whole big mess of food (minus the chickpeas in the cup; they were from another person’s plate and I wanted them, but the chickpeas on the salad were again included I love this place) was also $9.50 which like come onnnn it’s almost annoyingly well-priced. They could easily raise their prices, I think. 

The last item from the sandwich board we tried this evening was the Avocado Toast, which is always great and didn’t disappoint here. They offer it with either tomato and sprouts or arugula and pine nuts; both options cost the same, $6. This is avocado toast that won’t be the reason you can’t buy a house, millennials! Look at the size of this plate for $6. I cannot even. One good avocado in London will cost that much, I mean if such a thing existed. It’s hard to find pine nuts in the wild that don’t cost you an extra $20 so we ordered that option. So good! I really can’t with this whole mess costing $6. And on the Main Line! 

You can order all the sandwiches as is, on wraps, on multigrain bread, on gluten-free buns or wraps, or in lettuce wraps. I love all the options. 

Lastly, we ordered the mushroom flatbread. There are three flatbreads, including one Hawaiian style made with jackfruit that sounds amazing. This is a big ole pizza-like shebang for $10, with mushrooms, walnuts, onions, garlic, tomatoes, and topped with red onion, parsley, mint, and lemon juice on top of a whole lot of melted cheese. I think they use Daiya – I’m not sure, I should have asked, but it seemed like Daiya – so if you don’t absolutely adore Daiya or just a lot of cheese in general, ask for less cheese than usual. I don’t mind Daiya – I’d prefer if they switched to Violife, which is the best and would be amazing even in an overdose – so the one change I’d make is the lemon juice. I don’t think it’s necessary and I think that was the culprit that detracted from the goodness overall of all the rest of the ingredients. There was something just a tad off, sharp, and I think it was lemon juice. The mushrooms and cheesiness without it would be like creamy and warm and amazing. The mushroom and nut mix is a great idea to add more substance, and the bread was a little crispy and a little chewy. Overall it was pretty good.

I can’t wait to try the rest of the food menu. My mom raves about the grilled cheese sandwich – and it’s only $5 with tomato and a dollar extra for the portobello bacon, so like, damn. The salads looked amazing, and I think the salad menu would be even more stellar with maybe a protein add-in option for all the salads overall. One had seitan, one had crispy tofu, and while I’m positive that they would add them to your salad choice if you asked, it would be easier and very cool if it was just listed, like ‘add crispy tofu for $2’ or whatever like that. The only weird thing about the menu (not actually weird, just weird to me) is the curious lack of tempeh in sight! Usually vegan places are all about the tempeh (as am I). It’s not bad, just weird to see (or not see!). If they make some menu changes seasonally or something I’d love to see a tempeh reuben oh oh my god I’d fly in just to try it. Maybe instead of the more basic options like the grilled portobello sandwich, which has been our only option at restaurants for so long that I can’t see many vegs ordering it when so many amazing options exist here. 

Anyway, that’s enough about food. Juice Merchant also has a killer drinks menu – juices, smoothies, and coffee! I didn’t take a pic of the coffee options because I’m not a coffee drinker but even so I was still impressed by the extensive list. 

The smoothie options sound great, and given the existence of the hemp and soy protein powders in the Protein Power smoothie, I bet you could add that to the others if you asked (as I would because I’m a protein powder fiend). I don’t know what the Blue Majik in the Cool Blue smoothie is but I wish I noticed that when I was there and asked! Those combos sound great, as do the juice options. We tried the Beet It juice and it was good. It was premade in the display case which helps speed things up if you’re in a hurry. The carrot-cinnamon-apple-maca options sounds like the first good use of maca! I’ve never been able to figure out how to use it so as not to vom but this sounds worth a try for sure. Genius. I love the $7.95 price for all the drinks, damn, especially having come from NYC where a small juice was like $11. I still can’t get over the Banana Whips and how amazing they sound (I LOVE banana whips) and how I was too full to try one. Le sigh. Next time! I love that they add granola; I wonder if it’s house made. And an Acai Bowl! Next time I’m going for breakfast. Except I need to try a salad. Dammit there’s too much! 

Speaking of too much:

Juice Merchant gets Vegan Treats treats delivered every Thursday, and the selection is off the chain. They have the giant cinnamon buns (they are GIANT) which are the best ever. They have the peanut butter mousse brownie-cake bars which are THE BEST EVER. (Everything from Vegan Treats is the best ever, if you didn’t know.) They have the whoopie pies (three flavors!), the donuts (oh my god), and – THE CANNOLIS! I am NEVER able to find the cannolis because they’re usually just at Grindcore in South Philly and when do I ever get to go to South Philly anymore. So this is exciting. I got everything. It keeps!! IT KEEPS. 

Okay I’ll stop. It’s all the best. I’ve never seen those Avocado Truffles before and I’m not sure if they’re Vegan Treats or Juice Merchant-made but I loved them! 

Aside from the VT, there’s MORE dessert that is indeed house-made, and it’s amazing. We tried the chia pudding and the avocado mousse that you can sort of see in the big display case picture below. Both were SO good. I think I preferred the avocado mousse more even though I’m a huge chia head (ch ch ch chia!) because they made that subtle cocoa flavor just spot on. 

The best part (how many best parts did I already say there were?) aside from the great food and drinks and the amazing desserts was how nice the staff was. And that there’s a big clean bathroom. And that they give a discount for teachers which I LOVE. Hooray for being kind to teachers. I can’t get over how perfect this place is and how close it is to my USA home. I can’t wait to go back and I highly recommend that you go if you can. Next time I think the chocolate peanut butter banana whip will be my first order of business. Or the carrot-maca juice. Or the blue magik smoothie. Or the veggie burger; I must try theirs! Or the cabbage and seitan salad! Oh my god I want everything. Who am I kidding it will be the peanut butter mousse cakey-pie thing. Okay now I’m hungry and I have to cook for myself ughhhhh. Go and enjoy!