Veganizing "Friends": The Joey Special!!!by Randi / September 9, 2013
Leaving Bagan like the horsey
When our time in Bagan ended, it was pretty hard to leave the natural wonder of the region. However, Mandalay and the ancient cities in the Mandalay region were up next with their own wonders and amazing sights. I was also secretly most excited about Mandalay because Rudyard Kipling’s poem about it has the most perfect rhythm ever:
By the old Moulmein Pagoda, lookin’ lazy at the sea,
There’s a Burma girl a-settin’, and I know she thinks o’ me;
For the wind is in the palm-trees, and the temple-bells they say:
“Come you back, you British soldier; come you back to Mandalay!”
Come you back to Mandalay,
Where the old Flotilla lay:
Can’t you ‘ear their paddles chunkin’ from Rangoon to Mandalay?
On the road to Mandalay,
Where the flyin’-fishes play,
An’ the dawn comes up like thunder outer China ‘crost the Bay!
U Bein Bridge
Upon landing in Mandalay (after, if I remember correctly, the scariest flight yet), we drove to our first destination, Amarapura. Once (actually, twice) the capital of Burma, Amarapura is most known for U Bein Bridge, the longest teak bridge in the world. Walking along U Bein Bridge is the thing to do. It’s a nice stroll, guaranteed warm and sunny, and buggy – make sure to use extra mosquito repellent.
A few boaters off of U Bein Bridge
The line for lunch at Mahagandayon Monastery
Amarapura, besides being the most fun name to say, is also home to a pretty happening monastery, Mahagandayon. Actually, I’m pretty sure all the monasteries in Burma can be called happening; it’s pretty common for young sons to be sent away to study, and they all seemed pretty crowded.
I’m (almost) on a boat
Next, we took a boat across the river to visit the ancient imperial capital of Inwa (or Ava). Inwa is a very lush, unkempt place, very much for travelers to visit and not so much for living. A few monasteries, pagodas, and other sights await.
WARNING: Due to the whole ‘for visiting/not for living’ setup and the whole rural, unkempt land thing, Inwa has no roads, no cars, and isn’t very walkable. The only way people get around is by horse cart. Upon landing on the Inwa riverbank and seeing what our guide was leading us to, I was vehement about absolutely not forcing a horse to cart me around. I tried to find a bike or something, anything else to use to get around. But after some effort, we learned that the choice was either to use the horses or to skip the visit. So, we went. Hard decisions regarding cultural clashes with veganism always come up when traveling, and I guess I was lucky that this was the worst one I faced in Burma. I still feel badly about it, but I’m not sure skipping Inwa would have been the right decision.
The guide didn’t speak English and didn’t understand what my problem was, so she thought I was scared of horses, and throughout the day kept holding my hand and stuff. It was weird.
WARNING: Due to the whole ‘for visiting/not for living’ setup and the whole rural, unkempt land thing, Inwa has no roads, no cars, and isn’t very walkable. The only way people get around is by horse cart. Upon landing on the Inwa riverbank and seeing what our guide was leading us to, I was vehement about absolutely not forcing a horse to cart me around. I tried to find a bike or something, anything else to use to get around. But after some effort, we learned that the choice was either to use the horses or to skip the visit. So, we went. Hard decisions regarding cultural clashes with veganism always come up when traveling, and I guess I was lucky that this was the worst one I faced in Burma. I still feel badly about it, but I’m not sure skipping Inwa would have been the right decision.
The guide didn’t speak English and didn’t understand what my problem was, so she thought I was scared of horses, and throughout the day kept holding my hand and stuff. It was weird.
Inwa’s rice paddies and pagodas
Maha Aung Mye Bon Zan Monastery. Much bigger in real life
Inwa was home to one of my absolute favorite buildings in Myanmar, the Maha Aung Mye Bon Zan Monastery, or Me Nu’s Brick Monastery. Huge and colored with age, the imposing building was really beautiful. And, you get to walk around and explore all the tiers (barefoot, of course. Everything is barefoot).
The last great sight in Inwa was the Bagaya Kyaung Teak Monastery, another teak wood wonder.
The last great sight in Inwa was the Bagaya Kyaung Teak Monastery, another teak wood wonder.
Bagaya Monastery This beautiful monastery had a little classroom inside! We spied on some future monks as they learned. So cute.
After Inwa, we visited Mingun, one of my favorite stops in this region. I like to think that I loved Mingun for its wondrous temples and monuments and not just because it’s where I ate my first custard apple, the most delicious thing in the world. |
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Mingun’s Unfinished Pagoda
No, Mingun’s sights really are astounding and almost as great as a perfect custard apple. The Mingun Pahtodawgyi, the unfinished pagoda, is freaking massive. It would have been the largest stupa in the world, but astrologers predicted that the king would die upon its finishing, so the work stopped. Astrology causes so many problems.
Hsinphyumae Pagoda
Near the enormous unfinished stupa is Hsinphyumae Pagoda. I love the facade of this one because it looks like waves in the ocean. It’s named after a princess who died in childbirth.
Mingun also has the world’s largest uncracked bell, a distinction I appreciated as a Philadelphian. Visitors can ring the Mingun bell by smacking it with a big piece of wood. It’s harder than it sounds, and when you do it you look ridiculous, hence no pictures.
Besides perfect custard apples, Mingun’s other culinary claim to fame is its spirulina beer on tap. As a vegan, I’m pretty hip to the spirulina, so I had to try this even though I despise beer. You know what? It tasted like kombucha!
The sign for spirulina beer After my spirulina hit, it was time to see the lovely Sagaing, known for its hill facing the Ayerwaddy River. The hill is literally covered with monasteries and pagodas.
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The only time you’ll catch me drinking beer |
Sagaing Hill from across the Ayerwaddy
One of these is not like the others
My favorite pagoda up on Sagaing Hill was the U Min Thonze Temple. It’s known as the Thirty Caves Pagoda because it has 30 Buddha statues with a little cave-like entrance in front of each Buddha.
This was not our boat, but ours was pretty similar
After seeing all of these wonderful ancient cities, we crossed the Ayerwaddy River to finally see Mandalay. I loved taking all these boats; it’s cooler on the water.
Women washing in the Ayerwaddy
Center of Mandalay
Welcoming sign
You might recall from the first post about Myanmar when I said something about the Tatmadaw crushing all who oppose the military government. It’s because of this frightening, enormous sign warning all to obey the Tatmadaw or, well, be crushed.
Thankfully, the rest of Mandalay was pretty welcoming, although not very comfortable. It’s a very dilapidated city, with makeshift sidewalks built by laying stone planks down over holes in the ground. I near sprained my ankles multiple times. So, in summary, tread carefully around Mandalay!
You’ll likely visit the Mandalay Palace, the royal residence of the last two kings of Burma. Most of the grounds were destroyed during World War II, so this is a replica.
Thankfully, the rest of Mandalay was pretty welcoming, although not very comfortable. It’s a very dilapidated city, with makeshift sidewalks built by laying stone planks down over holes in the ground. I near sprained my ankles multiple times. So, in summary, tread carefully around Mandalay!
You’ll likely visit the Mandalay Palace, the royal residence of the last two kings of Burma. Most of the grounds were destroyed during World War II, so this is a replica.
Mandalay Palace
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My favorite pagoda in Mandalay was Kuthodaw Pagoda, better known as The World’s Biggest Book. Separate little huts house single (huge, stone) pages of the book, and with more than 1000 pages, you probably won’t get to see all of it. Biggest book indeed! This is such a cool sight.
One row of many housing the book’s pages |
One page of the book |
Mandalay had great food. We found this insanely delicious Nepalese place called NVC, that had unlimited thali for about a dollar or something insane. (It’s probably what eventually made us sick.) Also, Mandalay had a truly vegetarian restaurant! The food at Marie Min restaurant was delicious, and more importantly in this country, the produce was washed with boiled water! I could have salads! We had a variety of curries and vegetable spread, and of course whatever raw produce we could get. If you go, order the eggplant dip. So good. I loved this place, especially the sign that hangs out front:
How amazing is this!
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A very famous pagoda in Mandalay is the Mahamuni Buddha Temple, home to a very important Buddha that pilgrims can touch and coat with pieces of gold leaf. NB: pilgrims are only men, obvs.
Rude |
Mahamuni Buddha |
After a few days in Mandalay, we embarked upon one of the scariest adventures of my life. My boyfriend loves epic train rides, so when he learned there was one in Burma, we had to go on it, no matter how insane the idea. This ride was famous because it crossed the Goke Hteit Viaduct, a treacherous pass.
That skinny little track across the cliffs of insanity is the pass we just had to cross! So scary, isn’t it? Here we go…
I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!
How petrifying is that view! Oh my goodness! You can bet that I had my seasick bands around my wrists and I was gorging on ginger chews during this! Obviously, we made it across, but man alive was it scary! And pretty cool. It was built in 1902 by the Pennsylvania and Maryland Steel Co., so that’s pretty neat! We met really nice Burmese people in our train carriage (which rivaled the Bosnian trains) who helped make the ride more pleasant despite the language barrier. That’s always the best part of traveling, meeting great locals. (And getting to the other side of this viaduct.)
The takin
The last place we visited in the Mandalay region, before flying to Inle Lake, was Pyin Oo Lwin, which used to be called Maymyo when it was a British hill station. Pyin Oo Lwin’s biggest draw is this huge fancy nature park, the Kandawgyi Botanical Gardens. We saw so many incredible plants and animals, including my first black swan, and this guy, the takin. I’m not really sure what kind of animal he is, but he’s cute! They kind of just roam around in the forests and we probably shouldn’t have been so close.
We also saw this peacock! How gorgeous is that! I had never before seen a peacock do its dance before. Love it!
Stay tuned for the last leg of my travels through Myanmar, to come next week.
We also saw this peacock! How gorgeous is that! I had never before seen a peacock do its dance before. Love it!
Stay tuned for the last leg of my travels through Myanmar, to come next week.
Last sunset over Mandalay
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Good Morning Baltimore!! Every Day’s Like An Open Door!
How cute are aminal statues?!
Every night is a fantasy! Every sound’s like a symphony! And I love you Baltimore! And one day when I take to the floor, the world’s gonna wake up and seeeeee Baltimore! And me!
You can be sure that I was singing this (the opening number from Hairspray) the entire time I was in Baltimore. It was stuck in my head the whole time, of course! And now, recapping my whirlwind 24 hours of eating, you can be sure it will stay stuck in my head for another 24 hours.
Baltimore is a pretty fun city. I saw barely any of it, due to the short time frame that was already booked with food stops and long walks around the beautiful Johns Hopkins campus (where boyfriend when to school). But what I did see showed an exciting mixture of big city fun and really frightening big city crime. That’s Baltimore for you!
Baltimore is a pretty fun city. I saw barely any of it, due to the short time frame that was already booked with food stops and long walks around the beautiful Johns Hopkins campus (where boyfriend when to school). But what I did see showed an exciting mixture of big city fun and really frightening big city crime. That’s Baltimore for you!
Before we get to the food, I want to share a picture of my favorite tree stump ever. Weird thing, right, to have a favorite tree stump? But this is art! Look at this amazingness! On the Hopkins campus, we saw this tree doing Astavakrasana pose, the yoga posture that has eluded me for years. It was like the tree was saying, “Don’t stop trying! Just be stronger!” Thanks, tree. I don’t understand what it’s for or from (no plaque explaining how in the world this exists), so I’m taking it as a personal message.
This tree stump is doing 8-angle pose, or Astavakrasana. Cool.
Compare. Am I right??? How crazy!
Moving on to the fod! Baltimore had a great vegan scene, with more options than I was expecting (probably because my only exposure to food in Baltimore was, again, Hairspray, with Motormouth Maybelle’s giant but unhealthy spread of pecan pieeeee and ham and chicken. (“Poooour some sugar on me sugar don’t be shyyy!”) I am eager to return because there was so much we didn’t have time for. (If I were traveling with mah vegans, I would have just eaten all day without regard to meal times, but I was with boyfriend and can’t really do that with him. It’ll always be too soon.) Even just driving on Charles Street, we passed a pizza place called HomeSlyce that had written on its exterior “We have VEGAN options!” Amazing! There’s also a pizza place in Fells Point with vegan options, called Bop Brick Oven Pizza. You know how I feel about use of ‘bop’ in every situation, so that’s awesome. It’s not all pizza in Baltimore though! Take a look!
FIRST UP: THE HELMAND
Eating dinner at The Helmand, the great Afghan restaurant, was a primary reason behind this trip to Baltimore. Owned by Quayum Karzai (brother of Hamid, Iknowright), the restaurant was as authentic as it gets, and as delicious. They have a separate vegetarian menu and a staff knowledgeable about what ‘vegan’ means. With great service, nice ambiance, and fantastic food, The Helmand is now my favorite Afghan restaurant.
How do you take pictures in dim lighting? Seriously.
My boyfriend (we gotta think of a code name for him…how about Hawkeye) recalled of his college days that his favorite dish anywhere was The Helmand’s Kaddo Borawni, baked and pan-fried sugared baby pumpkin, served with garlic-yogurt sauce. We obviously had to order it here, with the sauce on the side. I’m pretty sure the sauce is what makes it extraordinary, so mine is not a fair review. However, the plain pumpkin was delicious and cooked perfectly. It also inspired me to make my own, which I will do soon!
For my entree, the waiter pointed out several things that could be made vegan, and recommended the Dolma Murch. I really appreciate waiter recommendations so I listened, and it was amazing! The dish featured red bell peppers stuffed with seasoned vegetables, beans, and wild rice in a tomato and rhubarb sauce (how cool is that). It was served with challow (Afghan rice), which was fantastic, and a side of sabzy (spinach), which I’m always happy to have. The Dolma Murch was so delicious, comforting but still interesting. I couldn’t really taste the rhubarb in the sauce, but that’s probably for the best, letting it contribute to the flavor instead of overpowering it. I enjoyed this so much!
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THE HELMAND, Baltimore
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NEXT UP: THE BREWER’S ART
Despite being super stuffed after dinner, we went right to Hawkeye’s favorite bar, The Brewer’s Art on Charles Street, for supposedly amazing garlic French fries. I know. We didn’t get dessert; we got post-dinner fries. I can get behind this. The Brewer’s Art was a surprisingly nice, comfortable pub with cushy sofas and clean floors. Can’t ask for more than that in a place serving beer. We got the fries, and I ate much more than I thought I had room for. They were amazing! A bit soggier than they should have been, Hawkeye critiqued, but the flavor was great. Oh man!
MORNING STOP: CUTEST JUICE BAR EVER!
Our first stop the next morning was an adorable juice bar I had researched called Grind House. (Like the all-vegan coffeeshop in Philly, Grindcore! Does ‘grind’ mean vegan?) We were (I was) so eager for green juice that we arrived before it opened and waited outside. We had a few minutes to appreciate the too-cute front door and patio furniture:
Our first stop the next morning was an adorable juice bar I had researched called Grind House. (Like the all-vegan coffeeshop in Philly, Grindcore! Does ‘grind’ mean vegan?) We were (I was) so eager for green juice that we arrived before it opened and waited outside. We had a few minutes to appreciate the too-cute front door and patio furniture:
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You might be wondering why a juice bar has to specify ‘vegetarian’. Well, they also have food! Ready-made seitan salads, hummus wraps, fish fillet sandwiches, this place has so much to offer. I ordered a Sweet Greens juice, made with apple, celery, cucumber, kale, lime, and ginger. It tasted great and, better still, 20 oz. was only about $7. I would go here again if I lived nearby. (Luckily I don’t though. It was a pretty sketchy neighborhood! We had bets going about whether the guy looking in our car the whole time was going to steal it.)
LUNCHTIME TREAT: CARMA’S CAFE
No, that’s not Hawkeye
Guys how good is lunch. I mean really. We had two lunches in Baltimore, which was lucky because lunch places seemed to be the hippest around. First we went to Carma’s Cafe, a tiny coffeeshop with maybe 4 tables and a small but versatile menu. I was pleased to see upon entering that they had a few vegan options. I mean, this is a college town after all; I shouldn’t have been so surprised! Well, that’s not entirely true. When I first entered, I talked to the girl at the counter about vegan options. She said she wasn’t sure about the sesame noodles because they had peanut butter…I KNOW. Haha. Just when you think everyone knows that peanut butter doesn’t contain dairy butter, you meet another one. Oh lordy.
Anyway, the girl said that there was an addition to the menu: a vegan BLT! Obviously, when a vegan BLT is on the menu, that’s what you get (as long as a tempeh Reuben isn’t also on the menu). I also ordered a side of the sesame noodles just to prove a point.
Anyway, the girl said that there was an addition to the menu: a vegan BLT! Obviously, when a vegan BLT is on the menu, that’s what you get (as long as a tempeh Reuben isn’t also on the menu). I also ordered a side of the sesame noodles just to prove a point.
The VLT, or vegan BLT. Vegan soy bacon (which tasted an awful lot like coconut bacon), tomato, and mixed spring greens
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I love that the menu items were painted on these hanging plates!
The sandwich was very simple but good, and a nice thing to have after a long ride in the car. It was on white bread, which I don’t like, but the choice made sense given the the lightness and old-classic feel of the sandwich. Definitely a good basic light lunch. The sesame noodles, however, proved that one should never order food merely in protest. They weren’t very flavorful at all. I didn’t even taste peanut butter, just a bit of sesame oil. Next time, I’d choose a salad or cup of soup to accompany a sandwich.
LUNCHTIME TREAT #2: ONE WORLD CAFE
One World Cafe was one of those totally college restaurants, you know what I mean? You could tell that undergrads could roll in the morning after heavy partying for a late breakfast, or come in to read with a big latte in the afternoons, or even take their visiting relatives. It was an appropriate place for all of that. I kind of loved it. The food was great, the vegan items were marked as such, and the benches were cushioned and had extra pillows. Win! We were warned (by the internet) that the service was famously awful, but during our weekday lunch we were without complaint.
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We started with the House Refried Pinto Bean Dip. The menu said it was to be topped with house salsa and fresh cilantro, but we didn’t see any cilantro. No matter, it was still very tasty. It wasn’t exactly earth-shattering, tasting like any other refried bean dip, but it was pretty good and the tortillas were warm. I like beans.
For my main, I ordered the O.W.C. wrap, pretty much the exact wrap I would concoct if I were cooking for myself (but this one actually held together, unlike my attempts at wrapping things). The O.W.C. wrap combined mixed greens, guacamole, tomato, carrots, fresh herbs, and sprouts in a sprouted grain tortilla, served with a garlic herb dressing for dipping that was delicious. It was also served with a tiny side salad and more sprouts. Totally my ideal lunch! It tasted so fresh and clean. Not like soap. Like good food. The green garlic herb dressing was so good; I definitely want to try to recreate it. It was like a gardening smoothie. That’s gross. It was like a great dressing. That’s better. |
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The last thing I HAD to do before leaving Baltimore was of course visit one of the coolest bakeries in the entire world – Charm City Cakes! As in, Duff Goldman’s bakery with the only Food Network show I am willing to watch! They make the most incredible works of art, in cake form. I love seeing what crazy masterpieces they are working on. I aspire to one day be able to afford hiring the bakery to make some insane concoction for a special event. Or just for a Sunday. The sign on the door says that they accept walk-ins on Saturdays. So, go on a Saturday so you can discuss your future creation! (They are vegan-friendly, apparently, which is amazing!) One day…
Apart from not being able to meet Duff and his crew, our 24 hours in Baltimore was overall very successful. We had great food, we saw the beautiful Hopkins area of the city, and we didn’t get robbed or kidnapped. All in all, a very nice trip! I would be happy to return (on a Saturday, of course).
From Kyrgyzstan to Kazakhstan: In Which I Get in an Unmarked White Van And Live to Tell the Tale
After our 10 or so wonderful (well, like six were) days in Kyrgyzstan, we were due to find our way to Kazakhstan. If you’ve been following along this adventure for the past three months, I know what you’re thinking: ‘Oh they’re gonna take another train! Hah I hope this one is clean!’ Bitch I WISH there was a train! I wish we could cross the next few borders on our agenda by train instead of figuring it out ourselves when we don’t speak the language and the locals are insane! But no no no, Kyrgyzstan DOESN’T HAVE TRAINS. Didn’t you find it odd that I haven’t written about trains in a while? I know I miss it too. Well there aren’t any so deal. Our options for getting from Bishkek to Almaty were: private car (too expensive), private car shared with other tourists (still a bit expensive; hard to find other tourists willing to do this; hard to negotiate with the driver when we don’t speak the language well; we hate strangers), or marshrutka (the unmarked white vans perfect for kidnappings but instead used in this region for public transit mm okay). Well gird your loins because we chose the latter option.
Marshrutkas, little white vans used for public transport, are how everyone gets around in these parts. It’s all the rage! No it’s really the only option. We’d used them before in Mongolia and I want to say some places in Russia but those were to get to tourist sights outside the city centers, not to cross into other countries on fully day-long trips! I would have to pee SO much. But alas, it was the best option: tried and trusted according to other crustier travelers we met, cheap, reliable. Reliable as far as getting you there, I mean. Not reliable like having any sort of respect for departure times, oh no, perish that thought.
Our hotel in Bishkek, the Futuro Hotel, offered free transfers from Bishkek to the Kyrgyz side of the border, about 45 minutes away, so we were happy to at least have that leg taken care of, even though it’s the easiest bit. Of course, a different staff member informed us, like, the day we were leaving that that freebie is not for guests staying there through their tour companies (NoviNomad had booked our stay). So that’s a big old pile of bullshit; someone remind me to drag them on TripAdvisor. So instead of our plan of freeing it to the Kyrgyz border point (called Kordai, which is super close to how you pronounce Kodaly, the name of Gavin Creel’s character in ‘She Loves Me’), we could pay for a taxi there and then get a Kazakh-only marshrutka or taxi the rest of the way to Almaty, or we could taxi to the Bishkek bus station and get a marshrutka from Bishkek all the way to Almaty. We didn’t like the thought of getting across the border at Kordai and then not having our transport figured out for the Kazakh leg – the cars and vans waiting on the other side could charge extortionate prices since we had no other choice. Thus! Marshrutka the entire way it is! This is where I would use that emoji of the face with the eyes bugging out all scared and what not.
After I cursed out the staff at Futuro for being stupid (just kidding I’m so polite irl), a taxi took us to the bus station in the center of Bishkek, along with another guest from the hotel. This other passenger was a Russian man probably mid-20s or 30s. We figured it’s a short ride and we might as well split the fare. How bad could it be? Guys it was so awkward. He asked where we were going and where we were coming from and we sort of said the long and short of being long(ish)-term travelers, and you know what his response was? “Are you rich?” I almost cracked up but come on who says something like that? I wanted to be like, “What are you, American? Only Americans think you have to be rich to travel” (because they don’t get any vacation time) (also hey soon Russians might all be given American citizenship for funsies so I guess I was right) but we just kind of said um no…? like…we’re normies but also that’s an inappropriate question? He was kind of scary though (are all white youngish Russian men??) so we didn’t say that last part. No etiquette lessons given today!
Once we got to the bus depot (it was for sure a depot and not a station, just like a mess of a parking lot with vans and cars jutting out in all directions and PEOPLE EVERYWHERE), we found a ticket window and bought two tickets to Almaty. I think it was the 10am marshrutka we bought tickets for. We were pointed to one of the white vans, which had about 6 little rows of seats (2 on one side of the aisle, 1 on the other) plus 4 seats across the very back. So this is a SMALL little van and there are seats for more than TWENTY passengers. Also the windows didn’t open and it was hot. Erma. We boarded (luckily this minibus situation had a little compartment in the back for luggage, not like our Lake Baikal shitshow) when there were about 10 people already onboard, and most of the seats up front were taken. I almost choked on the fear that we’d have to sit in that dreaded back row (girl I will THROW UP on you) (by ‘girl’ I mean ‘whoever is sitting in front of me in a slightly better seat’) but then I noticed two seats about three rows back that I thought were taken but had just a water bottle on it. I said omg let’s sit there and if anyone comes be like what water bottle I didn’t see anything (I know I’m a monster). Luckily no one claimed it.
We were told we had about 10 minutes so I went to the bathroom, stretched my legs, and tried to be okay with how dehydrated I was in preparation for at least five hours in a crammed minivan without fresh air. I was doing an okay job at calming myself but then I noticed that we were not leaving. We didn’t even have a driver visible in the vicinity. More and more people kept boarding – it got full. Twenty minutes past go time and still no driver. This one girl got on and off, on and off, talking to someone who maybe worked there but maybe was just a drifter? She was wearing a Mickey Mouse ear visor and we of course started imitating the Russian model on “New Girl” who said “why don’t you get in your spaceship like Mick Mouse” and that helped for a minute but then MORE TIME KEPT PASSING and we KEPT NOT LEAVING. Then two more people arrived and they were apparently this girl’s parents. I’m saying girl but she was like our age it’s not like this was an abandoned child (despite the visor). I was like well they’re not getting on our van anyway, it’s full. But no there was a thingy up by the driver’s seat that could be clamped down to make one solid row so the three of them crammed in next to the driver, who finally showed up. I was livid that we had apparently been waiting for 45 minutes (THAT’S RIGHT) for random people who could have just gotten on a different marshutka (there were like 1000!) instead of delaying ours that long but okay breathe. The driver backed out of his parking spot and pulled around to the main section of the lot, where you are supposed to drive. But instead. Instead he got out.
And he smoked.
I could cut a bitch.
Finally he got on and we left, about an hour late. It is very, very difficult for me/anyone who cares about anything to deal with this sort of chaos in things that could clearly be better organized. Z tried to calm me down by reminding me that our last train of this long trip would be going to Berlin. GERMAN TRAINS. That shit’ll be so on time it’ll blow your mind! Helped a little.
The ride to Kordai wasn’t too bad. The van dropped us off at the start of a long pathway towards the customs building. At one point on our walk, there was a counter with little forms to fill out – our customs declaration, I guess. I say I guess because it was in several languages but not English, so who knows what I signed off on. Fortunately a kind Greek person who does this route a lot (I don’t know) helped us fill out our forms. We had to do Kyrgyz exit customs first, which was very simple and straightforward. We got in the ‘Not locals’ line. Then we got into the main hall, where I witnessed two incredibly disturbing things. One was the giant welcome sign in the hall that read: “WELCOME TO KAZAKHSTAN. GOOD LUCK.” what the EVERLASTING TUCK?? good luck? why do we need luck? what’s going to happen to us!! So, so disconcerting. The other was the state of the hall itself, which was the site of one of my probably top 5 most distressing attempts at queueing. There were tons of windows with agents, but people didn’t know how to spread out so that you could join all the various lines. There were just mobs of people up at the front of the hall, and then there was so much line cutting and it was hard to see where to go omg it was a messsss. We got in a particularly bad jumble masquerading as a line but it was near the Greek person in case we had an issue so we stayed. It was easy though; we made our little ‘we’re just poor hungry tourists’ faces and got stamped through. On the other side was Kazakhstan! But more importantly – a toilet!
I really was only about 50, 55% sure that the mashrutka – with our bags – would be there when we got out but there he was! About 15 minutes after we got out of the building, all our fellow passengers were out and we were ready to drive for hours through Kazakhstan to Almaty, the best city that used to be the capital but it got too crowded so they moved the capital thinking that people would want to go to there but of course no one did because Almaty has STUFF and good stuff at that and Astana like doesn’t. Literally Astana was an empty pasture when they made it the capital in the ’90s. I’m sure now they have like buildings and roads but Almaty is still better. So I’ve heard.
Oh man I was thirsty! I am so eager for regular life when I can drink all the water I want and then have access to toilets. We had a stop about halfway through, somewhere between 90 minutes and 2 hours. It was this big Kazakh version of a rest stop, with a restaurant, shop, and public (paid) toilets. One Kyrgyz girl from our van paid for my toilet! I didn’t even know and then the lady motioned to say it’s taken care of. How nice is that?! Sometimes people are nice! There is no better gift you can give me than the gift of a bathroom break!
Almost everyone went into the shop and bought ice cream bars – it was hilarious, like we were on a school trip. Mick Mouse saw we were clearly not Kyrgyz or Kazakh and ORDERED us to try this one kind of ice cream, her favorite. I was like oh I don’t eat dairy Mick Mouse. Mick Mouse started talking to us and not just ordering us to buy things and it turned out she lived in Berlin! We love Berlin! We told her as much. She said some other things but I was distracted with how badly I wanted ice cream and how fitting it was that I probably wouldn’t be able to find vegan ice cream until we indeed get to Berlin.
Finally we got to Almaty, at about 4:30pm. Oh man I was so hungry. The station was under serious construction so we were dropped off kind of far from the actual entrance, which was not great because obviously I had to go to the bathroom as fast as possible. And just as fun, once I got to the station there was no sign for the toilet so I had to ask this random babushka in a cafe and she said it was around the back of the station and underground. Not a great start, Kazakhstan! Then we had to find a taxi to get to our hostel, Sky Hostel, our first in a while but one with strong ratings. Also every hotel in Almaty was weirdly expensive (it’s very surprisingly cosmopolitan!) so this hostel was our best doable option. With our packs and all our crap, we walked up and down the street asking cab drivers how much to go to the hostel neighborhood, and they all said WAYYY more than we were told it should be, because why wouldn’t they, we were ignorant tourists with all our luggage who needed a ride! Extort! We went up and down, back and forth in the heat and our state of exhaustion and each driver we found gave a higher price than the last. Finally we said f this, f it all, because guess what we found out?
Almaty has Uber.
I KNOW!
Yes Uber is problematic (worst board of any modern company?) and I would never use it in regular life if I had a choice, which I can’t imagine not being the case, but when we were stranded on the side of the road during our first hour in Kazakhstan and it was cheaper than the cabs were asking? Yes please! It was a super nice car that came, too.
The hostel was a little weird – Sky Hostel is located on the 11th floor of a regular building. Like you have to go in and take the ONE TINY BARELY WORKING elevator to reception on the 11th floor while regular workers and other citizens are using it too to get to whatever else was in that super shady building. So ridiculous. Luckily the hostel itself was fine. The girls (seriously children) working reception were completely inept but we were used to all that by now. Our room was on the 10th floor so we had to walk down the flight of stairs to get to it – the stairs that didn’t exist in the lobby and don’t actually take you to the lobby. The stairs are just from like floors 10-13 for the hostel use and blocked off below and above! So weird. Luckily the room was fine but the view from the 10th floor landing, hoo boy:
Such a lovely city! We were excited to go explore.
Okay, not really that night so much for exploring. We were exhaaaausted! But we were excited to finally eat that day. There was a promising Georgian restaurant with several locations, called Daredzhani. We went to the closest one to the hostel, about a half hour walk away (felt like hours). You know how we feel about Georgian food! It always saves us when we are in random locales and super hungry. As a vegan, I can count on finding interesting dishes at Georgian restaurants, including plenty of vegetables (always important when traveling) and amaaazing bread! Georgian fluffy breads are the bee’s knees. Well, Daredzhani kept up the tradition. SO good! The staff was incredibly friendly and the hostess spoke perfect English. We asked if by chance they had an English menu and she was like, um yes of course we do this is ALMATY. So things were definitely going to be a lot easier and more comfortable here than we expected when we planned to visit Kazakhstan! Almaty reminded us most of London than any other destination of the summer had.
But we will talk more about the city itself in the next post. The rest of this one is just going to be about our fantastic dinner!
I don’t normally like to drink anything that isn’t water, but Daredzhani had really fun lemonades on the menu. We tried the green and the red. Ha I don’t remember the flavors but they were good! But the food is where it’s at! As we are known to do, we ordered WAY too much and it was all great.
My favorite thing was the salad – they said it was spinach but it was stronger, like kale, which I loved, but I guess that’s just spinach in Kazakhstan maybe, with a tahini-like dressing I think made from walnuts, plus scattered pomegranate seeds. Such a perfect and simple dish! The vegetable soup was also simple and good, nourishing in a basic way rather than exciting, but we needed some of that! But the cauliflower dish in the background was the shizzz. I don’t know what that sauce was, but it was magic. I think it was nut based, as many Georgian sauces are, and it was like spicy but not hot and I don’t know it was sooo good. It was a chef’s special that night and I wasn’t going to order it because cauliflower is les boringles but Z wanted it and I was like fiiiine and then it was the best ever.
I adore how well they used nuts. This eggplant dish above had a walnut paste and pomegranates. It was great! Another staple we always get is lobio, a kidney bean dish served hot or cold. This one was hot (so the better option) and nice but needed some salt. I mixed it with some of the magic cauliflower sauce and it was phenomenal.
And of course the bread with its perfect rip-off handles. My fave.
So we didn’t really see any of Almaty on our first night but we had a wonderful dinner after an all-day ridiculous adventure crossing from one stan to another. After we get some much needed rest, we’d have two days to see all the sights in this promising city.
